How to you stop re-living a bad moment
 

How do you stop the anger...

I spent hours last night thinking of Ana's LAST BREATH... I felt her very last breath... and as comforting as that is suppose to be... it haunts my every waking moment...

MY ANGER for the man across the street - I thought I could leave to God... and yet the wound opens every time I get home...
ITs like being robbed.. I feel I can never feel comfortable in my yard... I can never take Cooper for a walk without a BAT?... He can never just be let out the door to greet my husband at his truck....

I dont want to take someones pet but... THIS was a vicious attack... and I dont understand...

I dont know where to go with my grief... so I come here just to vent... because my every moment these last two weeks seems sad... Walking around others who dont have any idea how hurt I am... putting on that face at work...

IS KILLING ME!!!

I cannot wait for my little boy to come home... I think he will be and additional blessing.. not a replacement...

AND YET... I want Ana back... I WANT her sleeping tucked in my tummy like she did every morning....

now... im just empty

j

I know what you mean. I was SO angry when I lost my Stuart.... well after I got over the shock and initial grief. It just made no sense. Even worse was I never got an explanation. I had a necropsy done that told me he ingested rat poison. That was it. I had no idea where he got it (not in my house that's for sure), when he got into it, (they told me some take weeks to work, some take days), I was ANGRY with nothing to direct my anger towards.
Write your neighbor a letter, pour everything out into it, all your anger and grief. Then burn it. They say this is very cathartic. You could try writing him a letter actually telling him how upset you are with his lack of compassion, that his dog killed yours and he showed absolutely no remorse while you have been heart broken, a letter you could actually put in his mailbox.

I'm a firm believer in getting emotions out, getting words out, and getting them to the person who they need to be directed at. I don't mean mean, hateful words, I mean truthful, honesty spoken in a mature, non-confrontational way. I think that is always the best way to 'clear the air' so to speak.
(((HUGS))) to you! I know this is a nightmare to keep having things play over in your head. I know too well what you are going through.

Right on! I too believe that you should write a letter to that other owner. Perhaps, just as people don't know what to say when a person passes, and say nothing, this may be true here. Of course there is what I call 'a minor/major detail' - his dog killed yours. Still I think it will be cathartic for you to write two letter; one to burn (with all your emotions and anger) and one to deliver (your feelings in a non-confrontational way). I soooo feel really bad for you in your unfortunate situation, so whatever you feel you should do to express yourself is the right thing. So glad that the days are getting closer for your boy, Cooper, to be finally at his home. BTW there is another Yorkie where I live named Cooper and he sure is a sweetie:) You are still in my thoughts and I know that it will take a long time to make the hurt smaller, but Ana will never be forgotten as she was your little girl. Sorry if that last line made you cry more:( Having said that I'm glad that you can cry... as some just get even. I believe that you have taken the high road!! Lots of hugs coming your way from rainy BC:)

Quick update
 

Just talked to Dog Warden.. the man across the street has to show up for court on friday but the warden says he probably will just be told to fix the garage screen door so dog cant get out

AND HE TOLD ME I probably could have saved Ana had she been on a leash and I pulled her up..(NOTE she was 5 POUNDS and MAULED to death)..

After what that dog came out to do... I may have been able to save ana... but I wouldnt be here to talk about it...

I have no words...

j

I forgot about your little boy! I forgot you were being smart and reaching out for a doggie now, while you are still hurting so and just when you need puppy kisses and a refreshed heart. But I know the anger you're feeling, too, at least to a small degree and I can imagine in some ways how deep that anger must be. Trying to quell it is impossible but in time it, too, starts to fade and your equilibrium returns, you rage less and begin to accept that people are thoughtless and make frequent, huge mistakes that hurt others all the time. We all do it and, knock wood, so far ours haven't cost lives and maimed, etc., often but for the grace of God.

Writing him a letter will probably help but may just create a situation with him so try not to make it too inflammatory as he'll keep it and use it if anything comes up in the future. Maybe you write two - one how you really feel and you publish it here for all to read and think about - all who have big dogs or may get a big one so that they are reminded what the result of not watching and keeping bigger dogs properly trained or confined or restrained can mean in the life of others if the dog goes off. Our little Yorkies can get loose, attack and do very little harm to people or dogs but when a big, powerful dog goes rogue, it frequently ends so badly for others and too often, the most innocent. The other letter, go ahead and send it and let him know what his dog did, how it affected your baby, your peace, your life, and maybe there will be an unsullied spot somewhere in his heart that will see the pain and anguish and make him think differently, take some responsibility and reign in his dog now and with future dogs. IDK, but do get your feelings out and then when your new baby comes, life will start to get better and better and healing will begin, work its magic and you will go forward. It's the very best way of all to keep Ana's memory and that's to live well because you had her in your life.

You MIGHT have saved her.... who knows... it's not up to us to decide fate like that. That dog saw her as prey, had you picked her up, he may not have, but he also may have hurt you badly trying to get to her. :( This is a nightmare I never want to live through. My heart just goes out to you so very much!

My Jilly was on a leash when attacked & it didn't keep the dog off her - happened far too fast for me to even react until she was in his jaws! My walking stick is what saved her though and I wouldn't have even had that if my dear BIL hadn't been attacked the past few days when he was out for a walk, found a stick close by and fought the dog off! His near tragedy made me grab that walking stick on the way out the door with Jilly that day - the first time I've EVER taken any weapon with me on a walk. That's all that saved Jilly.

When a big dog attacks, there's hardly any time from the time your brain processes what you see until it's too late. No leash changes that. I didn't even have time to use my stick first - only after my dog was being ravished!

People like that bureaucrat don't know until they are in the situation how quickly big dogs can attack. But one day he may have it happen to him and only then can he possibly begin to know the fury and shock and trauma of a vicious dog attack. Until then, second guessing helps no one.

May I give you a recommendation for a preventative measure that I've used ever since Jilly was attacked when out walking my dog? It's kind of long but it might help.

dog
 

Don't even try to figure idiots out. That dog could have bit you easily.The whole situation is sad. His dog is vicious, that is all I can say. It could have bit a child. We cannot understand why things happen. Only God knows the answers. He tells us to give Him all our sorrows and He will carry us through. Do not look back or try to figure it out. Life can be so full of trials. I am praying for you.

Of course please give your recommendation
 

Ive thought about a bat..(how sad I would be walking around the neighborhood with a BAT)

or what?

AND to think I have to THINK of these things were before.. it was kinda easy peesy.. run around my yard a bit.. run in the driveway.. around the front tree... then leash and around the block...

NOW... NOW?

j

Here is the post I always place on threads like this for anyone who is interested:

I walk with a huge black umbrella that self-opens when I push a button. It is a big thing and impressive as it opens! It give me a large appearance to the approaching dog, having that big, wide structure spread all out before me.

The thing I found most helpful to me about the open umbrella is the distance it will keep a troublesome dog away from our immediate vicinity. I have yet to have one ever get even remotely close to me and my Yorkie with the trusty brolly fully employed. They either go the other way immediately(99% of the time), stand their ground if the owner is making them or give you a very very wide berth. They don't get close enough to or try to keep an aggressive attitude when they hear the umbrella whoosh open and see that imposing shape blossom open before their eyes. It is very disconcerting to any dog. It is a good diffuser of tense situations but should it not be, a sturdy or actual defensive umbrellas can serve as a real weapon should you actually run into a dog who is bent on attacking. When my little 3 lb. Yorkie, Jilly, was attacked by a 65 lb. Dalmatian on a neighborhood walk, my simple wooden walking stick(pre-umbrella) was how I saved her life and got her free of the big dog's jaws. It was after that attack that I decided to use a button-operated umbrella for future walks as a deterrent - even if I have no dog with me.

But the role an open umbrella best serves is just a dissolver of bad attitudes. Most approaching dogs aren't really bad, they just are inquisitive, excited and out of control and this tool helps them to settle down rather quickly and become serious about how they can best stay well clear of you, your dog and your umbrella. And it gives you a wonderful sense of security, which a dog can read from quite far off.

Train your dog to sit/stay when you open the umbrella so that in an emergency situation, your dog will not be running around at your feet or shying away from the umbrella opening, thus adding to the stress of the moment.

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Great idea!!!! Make total sense. Thanks for sharing:)

Well said! I heard someone say once, "You can't change stupid". It has come in handy for me, like situations like this. Cheers!

Come see
 

I uploaded some pictures of my Ana boo... I thought maybe everyone should see my little darling and why I love and LOVED her so....

jnet

Oh, I'm going to go look right now.

Thinking of you today. My little guy was tearing around the house with the chewie he hides from me (he's got MVD we now control with diet so it's precious to see him feeling good again) and I teared up, thinking about you, sitting there home without your baby, your heart broken. It's so very unfair the way we only have them for such a short time and some far shorter than that.