My heart has been ripped out
 

I really don't know how to feel right now. I just lost my little girl unexpectedly and I wasn't even there to say goodbye or anything.

I am currently going through a breakup and in the process of moving back home with my parents in Virginia from Atlanta. I took my fur-babies Hayden, Lucy and Chloe (their daughter) to stay with my mother while I pack and get everything ready. Chloe is only 1 year and 3 months old and is only 3lbs. She came from a litter of 5 which were expected not to make it as they were only 2 to 4 oz and their mother was unable to feed them due to eclampsia but my mother and I bottle fed them all and they all survived and turned out to be healthy little babies! I placed all of them but my Chloe with close friends as I couldn't bare the thought of selling my little miracles. Chloe was so special to me and I just can't fathom her being gone. Especially when I don't know what happened and wasn't there to hold her and say a final goodbye.

My mother called me Sunday morning saying that Chloe woke them screaming and was limp and couldn't stand. They immediately called all vets around but all were closed as it was Sunday. Soon after, I get a call back saying that she didn't make it. They performed CPR with no success. I was in shock and hung up the phone as I couldn't even process her being gone. I don't understand how this could happen!

I feel as if Chloe was wondering where I was in her time of need. Why wasn't my daddy here to help me? Why am I hurting? What is happening? I can't deal with thinking that she may have thought those things. I will never forgive myself for not being there though I couldn't have known that this would happen.

I have called my vet to arrange a necropsy but I was informed that I would not get her back if I chose to do so. I want to have her cremated so that she will always be with me but I also want to know what caused her to suddenly perish.

I am so torn. I am sorry to babble but I just don't know what to feel or do.

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are already going through a tuff time and I know that your heart is just breaking. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that in time your heart will begin to heal.

Blessings

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up. You gave her life when nature tried to deny it. She had 15 months of a wonderful, loving existence thanks to you and your family. That was your gift to her, and you should be proud of that.

I have no doubt you will remember every wonderful, miraculous day you had together for the rest of your life. That's her gift to you for taking such great care of her.

Thank you so much. I get what you are saying and while it may be true I just can't get over her being gone. Yes I gave her life and I made sure she had a wonderful life but I just can't understand why it could be taken away so quickly and unexpectedly. I enjoyed every minute of time I had with her but the fact that it ended so quickly, without reason and without me being there makes me question what was the point? If she was only going to get to live a short life and I was only going to get to enjoy her company for such a short period of time, why couldn't it just have happened when it was expected from the vet. Why die while sleeping in the bed with her mother and father as well as my mother and father. I get that she died with people who loved her but it just doesn't make since, I can't accept it. I know that sounds harsh but I am at a point in my life that I just don't understand the reason for anything anymore. I am sorry for ranting.

Thank your for your thoughts and prayers. Indeed I am going through a lot and the loss of my Chloe just tears my heart open. I don't understand at all :[

I am sorry for your loss & know that you must be devastated. If I had to guess, I would say she had AAI.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. RIP Chloe.

So sorry for your loss:(

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your baby girl. May Chloe rest in peace, and you take comfort in your memories of her.

very sorry for your loss rip chole.

I am so sorry for your loss.
RIP little Chloe.

I'm so very sorry. Rest in Peace, Chloe.

First let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. I have had to say goodbye to TWO of my sweetest babies this last two years. One was from old age, one cancer.

Isn't it strange (or maybe it really isn't) how very much we grow to LOVE these little babies that the Lord has given us to take care of? They give unconditional love. They are so forgiving. They ask nothing but love and basic care. I will NEVER understand how anyone can abuse a little one in any way. It breaks my heart.

You are going through a very rough time now. That little pup has become more important to you than ever before. She filled a very important place in your heart and life. What you are feeling is very normal for everyone but because of other things in your life, it hurts even more.

You gave your baby love and care for her WHOLE life. That is priceless no matter how long OR short that life was. You loved her and she loved you in return.

I am only a month and a half from losing a 15 year old dog so I really DO know how you feel. It hurts so bad. But time DOES heal, it really does. It just doesn't seem like it now. I understand. I really do. Even 15 years was not long enough.

Rest assured that there are MANY MANY people who know how you feel and may even be going through the same thing right now. Remember time heals. And remember your baby and the time you had with her.

Love and hugs,
Louise

Soooo sorry for the loss of Chloe we all know how you feel for I'm sure we all have lost a loving pet. It takes time try to remember the good time's. God let you have her for 15 month's I'm sure he has other plan's for her. Another baby taken to early R. I. P. Dear Chloie Reast at Rainbow Bridge.:animal-pa

I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your family.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. RIP darling Chloe.

I am so so sorry for the loss of your baby.

If it helps in any way at all, I had a almost 5 month old boy named Stuart. He was the picture of health. I got him at 12 weeks old and he was my baby. I had a fiance (over 10 years together) and owned a home with him. Well, we broke up and I had to sell our house and cancel our wedding. One day I came home during all this and noticed my Stuart was not well. I just picked him up RUSHED him to the ER vet and they did what they could for 20 mins but it was too late. He passed. They did do a necropsy and then cremated him and sent me his ashes. He had ingested rat poison .... not in our house, I don't know where. I was with him when he passed, but honestly it did not make it ANY easier what-so-ever.

So I had a broken heart from my break up, was in the middle of selling my house and moving and then my baby just suddenly died one night. I thought I would LOSE it. Honestly I did. :( I took any sleeping aid I could find, I slept a lot for about 5 days, the rest of the time I sat around memorized by nothing, staring into nothing for hours, not thinking, not eating, not talking... I was inconsolable. I wondered what the point was also, I mean why did I have to go through SUCH heart ache? What did I do in my life to deserve that?

I never figured it out. I do know that I got up one day, went back to work, went through the motions, I sold my house, bought my own townhouse, moved into it, got 2 new puppies (who are almost 7 years old now), sat on my new couch and cried for a year.

Then I met a GREAT man, who loves my boys, got a new job, moved with him (still own my townhouse rent it out), then got engaged, then got married, then got a better job, then bought a BMW, still have my 2 beautiful boys and **BOOM** realized I was OVER everything I went through. It was not easy and I was broken. I never figured out WHY things had to go that way. Although I could take a stab at it, that my boy who died, would have been a tie between my ex fiance & I. That was such a toxic relationship and maybe he needed to pass so that I could someday lose the ex and move on with my life without any ties to my past life.

Please, hang in there.... life has something BIG in store for you and maybe all of this turmoil and emotional disaster will all make sense.

My heart aches for you right now though. RIP sweet Chloe, you were one very lucky girl to be loved soooo much by your kind Daddy!

I am so sorry for the loss of your fur baby. RIP Little Chole.

I’m so sorry that you lost your Chloe. From your post I can feel the pain and heartache you’re in from her passing. These little ones become so much a part of our lives, we can never imagine them not being there sharing every moment with us. They truly become one of our closest friends and companions. Having lost two of my own I can truly relate to your post. The guilt and the questioning of ourselves concerning the circumstances of the loss can be so overwhelming, it just seems to consume every moment of the day....

Unfortunately, I do believe that guilt is part of the grieving process. Grief is natural, and even healing; allow it to take its course. Sometimes, we may start to feel guilty for just about everything. It will lessen with time. When you love that intensely, it is almost impossible not to feel it. We must remember as well that not everything is in our control. We might like to think it is, hope that it is, but there are times it simply isn't. I’ve just had to come to a place of acceptance that the *why’s?* surrounding the loss will never be answered to my satisfaction. Only caring, responsible pet owners go through this agony…..

For me, after the loss of each boy, there was a part of me that did not want to feel better, as painful as it was. After all that was all I had left, I didn’t want to let go of it just yet. The thought of "feeling better” seemed disrespectful. "Feeling better" was not an option, not just yet, it seemed like "letting go," was letting go of him, I just wasn’t ready to do that ………

It’s now been a year and I can say that there are still some sad days. It took months before I could even talk about him without sobbing. I hope for you that you can get to a place of peace when you think of Chloe. She was loved and given every opportunity for a great quality of life even if you couldn't save her. The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone……..


RIP Chloe.....I wish you peace and pleasant memories when you think of Chloe.

Huggs, B.J.

I'm so very sorry
 

I'm so sorry you have lost little Chloe. I am bearing down on only 2 weeks since I lost my baby Alice. I had the same feeling. Why would God let me have her, love her, take care of her, just to be taken from me. Alice was 13 and had a good life but it still seemed so senseless. I know how much harder it would be if Alice had been young and if I were not with her. Those things comforted me and I know you don't have that comfort. I hope you get an answer for what happened to her. I believe in Heaven and I believe our dogs go to Heaven. It still seems cruel that we have to wait so long to see them again, but I do believe we will. Chloe is playing with the other doggies at Rainbow Bridge. She only knew love and care while she was with you. I hope you find some comfort. It does get better. I know it feels like life is over but don't give in to despair. Chloe would want you to be the same loving Daddy she knew. Stay strong.
:littleang

My heart goes out to you. Nothing can help except for time. And it is hard to imagine why these things happen. I lost one at 6 months so I can relate to what you are going through. Hugs

I'm so sorry for your loss...

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this tragic time. I know you have alot of questions and that you're heart is breaking but remember your sweet baby will always have a special place in your heart and she knows how much you loved her. Rest in peace sweet baby Chole.

I'm so sorry you lost your Chloe. I will pray one day you can find some peace and the pain you feel now will begin to lessen. Please hang in there & as you hold those memories of her close to your heart, you will feel her love getting you through. R.I.P., Chloe.

So sorry you are having to face this right now. I know nothing helps right now, no words, compassion or anything because it does hurt so bad. But, maybe when you find out the cause of her death it will help some. Things can happen when you are right there with them, so don't blame yourself. Hope you have some answers soon and time does heal. RIP little Chloe. Your mommy misses and will always love you.

Thank you all for your kind words. I hope to find answers soon as I found a vet who was willing to look at her and agreed to return her to me.

I keep letting little things run through my head about her and I can't stand it. She was the runt of the litter and knew that she was untouchable because Daddy had her back. Chloe was seriously one of the most well behaved dogs that I have ever seen. She didn't need to be taught much at all, it's as if it all came natural to her. Maybe it was the fact that my mother and I hand raised her? I never once raised my voice at her or anything. She was indeed a spoiled little girl and it just pains me more and more when I think about how perfect and loving that she was.

I will update everyone this Friday when I get some kind of results.

Again thank you to each and every one of you. I really appreciate the thoughts and prayers!

I am so sorry for your loss...

RIP Chloe :(

I am so extremely sorry for your loss!!! I lost my little one last year, and I know that your heart is broken! I\'m truly so sorry for the pain you have to be going through. I have no doubt that Chloe felt the very apparent love you had for her!!

Sure will be thinking of & praying for you. Tell us more as you find out what might have happened to Chloe.

So sorry for your loss. Rest in peace dear Chloe. you will be in my prayers.