The Story of Ashley, my beautiful rose
 

A year ago today I lost my little girl, Ashley. Although time slightly dulls the pain, I am always going to miss my baby. For a number of years, I’ve equated my three girls with the story of the rose and the Little Prince from the parable by Antoine de St. Exupery, The Little Prince. Roses have always had a special significance to me, and they will continue to do so. The driving force behind this novella is the love that a little prince from a faraway planet has for his rose. The prince left his planet and came to earth where he met a pilot, fox, and a snake. I was teaching The Little Prince to my high school English class, and the story I had always loved grew even more meaningful to me. I had just lost Kiwi unexpectantly, and I began to cling even closer to Gracie and Ashley. The Little Prince believed his rose was the only one in existence. When he comes to Earth and discovers a rose garden, he becomes very saddened. It is his encounter with a fox in the Sahara Desert that he discovers an important secret and lesson. After the fox asks the Little Prince to tame him, he explains that investing oneself in someone you love makes your loved one even more special. The fox teaches the Little Prince the meaning of friendship and love. He explains that the Little Prince’s rose is truly special and unique in the entire world because of the time he has spent caring for and loving his rose. The prince realizes how fragile his rose is, and he worries about her safety. He discovers that he must return to his planet to be with his rose because she needs him. The pilot that he has met in the desert has grown to love the Little Prince, and it causes him great pain when his friend must leave. Yet one quote that the Little Prince has shared with him helps to ease the pilot’s pain:

“In one of those stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night. You, only you, will have stars that can laugh! And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me... You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure... It will be as if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh"

After analyzing this beautiful novella with my “kids” and discussing the meaning of love and friendship, I told them about the story of my little girls. I couldn’t talk about it with them when I lost Kiwi, but I revealed my feelings to them then. I told them how I was pouring my heart completely into loving Ashley and Gracie and how each day grew even more special with them. Gracie had a collapsing trachea all of her life, and I knew each day was precious with her. We lost her just four months after Kiwi, and Ashley was our only little one. Ashley was such a beautiful and loving little rose. Although she was diagnosed with an enlarged heart at the age of ten, she stayed strong for us for almost seven more years. Her heart wasn’t only huge in size. Even when she had dementia the last year of her life, she understood about love. She remained so loving and responsive with us, and she even remembered her favorite fifteen year old neighborhood boy that she had known since he was five. She made our days so special, and we spent our days devoted to caring for our little girl. Ashley was our world, our heart, our life.


You and your sisters changed me, Ashley. You were a most precious rose, and I completely adore you. I already understood about the importance of love, but you loved me so unconditionally, and you opened up my heart even more. No matter how I was feeling any day, I saw you and my heart melted. You could alleviate any stress that I was facing. Thoughts of you will always make my heart smile. I will never stop loving or missing you. You were such a sweet little girl, my little social butterfly and love bug. You helped me innumerable times when I was feeling sad. You eased my grief over Jolie and my deep sadness when I lost your baby sisters, Kiwi and Gracie. Thank you for being such a great companion for your Daddy for almost seventeen years, for opening up his heart, and helping his body to heal when he was sick. He would have risked anything for you, and there is nothing he wouldn’t have done for you. Like the pilot, I look up at the sky and see the stars. I think of you and can feel your exuberance and your love. You lit up my life and my heart, and you will always continue to do so. Summer is coming, our most special time together, and you will not be there to share it with me. Yet memories and love are truly powerful, and I will always equate my summers with you.

Run free with your sisters and know that we will always treasure you and your sisters. We will always love and miss you, and you will always be our beautiful, precious little rose. You made our house a home, our hearts so filled with love, and our lives so filled with laughter and happiness. You will forever be a part of us.

Ashley through the years
 

My little rose through the years

Ashley at age fifteen
Ashley and Kiwi with her dad
Ashley one year
Ashley in Vermont

They never, ever live long enough. There is nothing that will ever fill the empty spot Ashley has left but you have such wonderful memories of her life, for you have shared some of them with me. I wish I could have met her. You were such a great Mom to her and from your stories, John couldn't have been a better dad. I am anxious for the day when 4 or or maybe 8 *little paws are running through the house once again.*

Little rose hrough the years
 

More photos of Ashley with her sisters
third photo with Gracie in Vermont
fourth photo with Kiwi

What a beautiful and loving tribute to your precious Ashley.

Ohhhh My Gosh... That was LOVELY!!!! :)

Thanks so much, Jackie. I wish you could have met my little girl also. I know she would have loved you. You're right about John. He was so devoted to our little girl. He loved her from the moment he saw her, and took care of and loved her so much. When she had dementia, until I came home from work each day, he sat his chair next to her on the bed so that she could feel safe. He refused to leave her alone unless absolutely necessary. After three days of needing to be hospitalized for a kidney infection, he finally relented. When I came home, I found three syringes with medication already drawn in them that he prepared before he left for the hospital to make it easier for me. I don't think there's anything John wouldn't have done for Ashley or her sisters. Thank you for always being so good to me and for always caring. I feel very lucky to have met you here.

Thank you both. It's not easy living without my little girl, but it's very easy to always feel her endless love. Ashley completely captured our hearts, and no tribute could ever do her justice. She was as beautiful and tender as a rose, and we loved her dearly.

I was so moved by your tribute to Ashley. I can tell how much you truly loved and treasured all of your girls. It is just a reminder that we are not guaranteed tomorrow and we should treasure each moment we have with our loved ones, both skin and fur.

That was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Nothing in this world compares to the reciprocated unconditional love of a pet.

Lisa, that was beautiful and you are such a beautiful person. I am so sorry about your baby Ashley. She looks like she brushed your life with Joy!!! Take care my friend!

you have been in my thoughts and prayers today, remembering that you lost ashley one year ago today... i now this must be a hard day for you and want to send you a ((hug)). this tribute to your precious ashley and your other precious baby girls is absolutely beautiful and brought me to tears. i know the great pain you're experiencing without them physically here anymore, but it is so wonderful that you will always have them in your heart and still feel the incredible love you shared together. it is more powerful than the pain of the loss. you have always been there to help me and so many others in the loss of their furbabies. i cannot thank you enough for that. i wish they could live as long as we do, at least.
all of your angels are so beatiful. absolutely stunning. they were so lucky to have a great mommy like you (and daddy) to love them and take such great care of them. thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story of your precious roses. wanted to share this poem with you...

For all the times that you stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that i so unconditionally gave to you, for the care that you gave to me so unselfishly, for all these things i am grateful and thankful.
I ask that you grieve not for the loss but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved, and touched each others lives.
My life was fuller because you were there, not as my owner, but as my friend.
Author unknown
:rbyorkie::rbyorkie::rbyorkie::rbyorkie:

Lisa,
That was so beautiful, I always LOVE reading your posts. They are so tender, so touching and just filled with love. Your little girls were loved and cherished beyond words could ever express. I always enjoy seeing their little faces, they put a smile on my face and touch a place in my heart. What an incredible Mommy & Daddy to have given them so much love and to feel so secure and know you would always take care of them. I know the love you feel for them will never die and they will always be with you. I wish ever furbaby could be so lucky to have had the kind of life you gave your girls...and I can see how incredibly thankful you were for them too! Thanks Lisa, thanks for sharing, thanks for the tears..(happy tears) you truly are an incredible person...with an incredible gift. Hugs to you always...Cheryl & Lexi

Wow Lisa, that was beautiful and very touching...You have also helped many here by listening and helping with many broken hearts. {{{{HUGS}}} you are a special lady yourself!

Awe she is beautiful and I know she felt very lucky to have you for a mommy.

OMGosh! Your words capture your memories so well. I love reading about your girls, and I love the story you chose to share. And the pics... beautiful, just beautiful. And you have enlightened me once again.... I think I am beginning to understand. But I am once again, in tears, half sadness at your loss, half joy that these beautiful girls and you and John shared so much joy and love together. I will see the stars differently from now on... Love and Hugs, Kathy

First and foremost while roses are so lovely, here (without an icon) is a sunflower. In a moment or two, why the sunflower.

Your post today was so evocative, so clear, I almost felt like I knew Ashley; and I grieved, and cried for the loss of this beautiful being. But I don't cry for your sadness; it is a measureful joy of your love, of your remembering, of a heart that has grown so much in the experience of this love. Ashley was the joy of your heart, and as someone much wiser than I said; "the wind beneath your wings".

Please know that my arms are around you; to support you in your rememberance, to embrace and help ease your pain.

And anon to the sunflower; Do you know why a sunflower is named so? It is not because it looks like a sun; it is because the sunflower turns it's face to the sun, as this light and beautiful sun tracks it's path through the sky. How special is that? A flower that finds any little bit of light and turns it's face to receive it? And so this is what Ashley was and is to you, and I am sure you were to her. Two faces, turning each other to the light. No matter any shadows, there will be some light.

So now today, and the next day, the next, and on and on, she is your light; and in time Memory that most gentle of truths, will surround you, nuture you, and will continue to cast the light of true love.

Be well my friend; I am here for you always.

A beautiful tribute to Ashley. I too always enjoy reading about your girls and seeing their gorgeous photographs. Their spirit and your love for them is so powerful that I often imagine them leaping out of the pictures. Your girls were blessed to have such lovely parents.

I'd like to thank you for all of the beautiful responses about Ashley and me. I've spent most of today working on reports for work that I must complete before the morning. I still have a lot yet to do, so I will respond more tomorrow when I have more time.

My love for Ashley is something that has always sustained me and brought me joy; I know from the feelings that I have for her sisters that it always will. We were blessed to have Ashley with us for almost seventeen years, and there was so much love and vitality from her all of her life. I don't think it's possible to fully prepare oneself for losing someone so loved, so it's difficult to adjust to life without her. I know those I've loved always remain a part of me no matter how much time passes by, and that will be so for Ashley, too. I found my way to YorkieTalk because of my love for her. I truly appreciate the support and friendship that I have found here and the beautiful words expressed.

You have a very special story, I love it. You will always have those great memories.

Lisa I sent you a pm before I realized you had started this thread. What a beautiful tribute to little Ashley. I know you and John miss her soooo very much. I sit reading it and just bawled. I know how hard it is to lose them. Ashley had a wonderful mommy and daddy that loved her so much and she knew that. You had 17 wonderful years with your little girl and I know how thankful you are to have had her that long. Remember the good times and I hope after today things get a little easier. It takes time. You never forget them but time does help when you can once again talk about them without crying. What a beautiful little girl. You were blessed. RIP sweet little darling.

Lisa, this is a beautiful tribute. I really enjoyed the pictures of your beautiful girls and I absolutely love that quote from the book. Thank you so much for sharing it.

There are so many beautiful posts that I wish to respond to. I am truly sorry that I was unable to do so yesterday but I will later on today. I think all of the exhaustion and emotions finally caught up with me. I often can get by on little sleep with little ill effects, but yesterday my head was unable to think clearly. In spite of the pain I was feeling from my migraine, I was able to feel such warmth and love in my heart, and it really helped me to get through my day. I don't think anyone can really understand what the support on this site means unless you have been in a situation where you have needed the support of this special community and been the recipient of its love. I believe that YT prayers help and that we have a beautiful community of people on this forum who really care about the pups and the people who love them. I have been on YT for almost one year when Ashley was alive and one year since she has been at the Rainbow Bridge with her beloved sisters. I experience the full gamut of emotions when I come here. I love the stories and photos, the way people reach out to each other, and the love for the pups. Most of all, I am drawn back here each day because I've grown to care so much for the people and their babies on this forum. Thank you so much for the friendship, support, and love that I have received here and for caring about Ashley and me. It has truly warmed my heart.

I wish I could have known Ashley, and your other babies. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute to your beautiful, precious, little rose.

Moved me to tears.

What a beautiful and heart-felt tribute to Ashley. I, too, was moved to tears.

I don't think we ever can take our loved ones for granted. I really believe each moment is precious with those we love. Although I had read it many times before, this short book took on a new meaning for me when I related it to my girls. I luckily had many more years with Ashley, but I truly treasured each day with her. The Little Prince reinforced all of this for me. It is a beautiful reminder of how important friendship and love are, the responsibility we have toward those we love, what is most essential in life, and how difficult it is to love a loved one. It can be read as a children's story or as a beautiful allegory.

I agree. I think with our little ones, there seems to be no risk of completely opening up our hearts to them because they love us unconditionally. It's only difficult when we lose them, but their love is so worth the pain we feel when they are no longer physically with us.

Thank you so much Lisette. I really appreciate your support and kind words.

Thank you so much, Connie. The poem is beautiful, and so are your words. I find it really comforting that, even though loss is difficult to bear, and it's something I never seem to get over, the love and memories are so strong. It may sound crazy, but with those I've loved deeply and lost, I don't think I'd ever want it to get easy to live with. The beautiful reminders of love really sustain me, and I can always feel the love deep within my heart. I know you always feel Nika with you, too. I am really praying for your Zowi. I hope the ultrasound goes well tomorrow. I appreciate all of your kind words. I always love reading your posts here, and I always appreciate you.

Your post really brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy to see you on YT again. I've missed you, and you know I always melt when I see your beautiful little Lexi. We did our best to help our babies feel loved and safe, to protect them from harm, and to give them an active, happy, full life. Our girls brought such happiness and love to our lives, and they really made our lives so rich. Thank you for your warm, kind words and for your support.

Thank you so much. I can't wait until you bring Miley home. I hope she fills your heart with love and your home with joy.

Thanks, Brenda. Ashley made me feel very proud to be her mommy. My friends could always tell by looking at my face when I was talking about her. They could tell by the expression on my face and the sparkle in my eyes. She was such a special, loving, and fun little girl.

wow... I don't have words.
Your post, your story - the picture you painted with words of your Rose has really touched my heart. I am crying, sadness because no matter how long we have them it is too short, and joy to see into your heart and see the joy of the love you shared.

Thank you for your words and sharing your memories

We shared with our girls what all of us here on YT have shared with their babies. I know here on YT people truly understand the love.

This book is really wonderful. Several years ago when I did a great deal of research and analysis of it, it was considered the most widely read book other than the Bible. It's very short (the Spark Notes are much longer), and it has beautiful illustrations. My niece recently bought me the pop up version that came out less than two years ago, and today in my school library, I saw it made into a graphic novel in French and English. There are two greeting cards made by Papyrus with quotes from the book, and the attached photo is the cover of the one with the stars quote (this quote is the older translation). The other card has its most famous quote: "It is only with it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." The one with the stars is a sympathy card. I was unable to find it for a while, and I contacted Papyrus, thinking it had been discontinued. They told me it is one of their most popular cards. I got this photo from their site where they sell them online.

Kathy, you are always so supportive, and it means so much to me. I always appreciate all that you've done to help me cope with my loss of Ashley.
Inside of card: and there is sweetness in the laughter of all the stars… and in the memories of those you love / With Heartfelt Sympathy