Light at the end of the tunnel - MAYBE?
 

The answer just might be yes but I am petrified.
A month ago my life has made a terrible turn. Unexpectedly and unexplainably, the life of my baby has come to a tragic end. My yorkie girl, Manya, has died from an acute aspiration pneumonia.

She was 7 months old. I only had her for 2.5. She was so full of energy and so happy all the time - yet, she got a pneumonia and died in three days. Nobody, not even a doctor who has been practicing for over 50 years, has seen something like that happening to a healthy puppy. There was no cold, no virus, no nothing. Then, one day, she started coughing and I immediately took her to the emergency room. She had water in her lungs and they put her on oxygen. I was there at all times and she became better. The doctors said that she will be fine. But she was not. She died at the hospital. I won't bore you with the details of the nightmare. They shall stay with me forever. Nobody will ever be able to replace her. She was the star.
I've never had a better child to love.

Life had no meaning for a while. My breeder and boyfriend talked me into getting another one. I did. Yesterday, I brought her over from Kentucky. She is 9 months - slightly more than my Manya was. On top of that, she is a spitting image of Manya. She looks at me sometimes and it is scary how identical she looks. Yet, she is no Manya. Manya's spunky personality and zest for life will never be replaced.

I took her in to give her a better home. I want to make sure, however, that there is no undergoing problem with her just to be on the safe side. Is it bad?

She has an open fontanel but it is tiny and I am not worried about that. I also think that she has a luxating patella, but I am not a doctor to say if it needs to be operated on or not with certainty. This is OK with me too because if she needs a corrective surgery - I have money and a desire to make her better. I just hope I will be able to adore her as much as I adored Manya. Right now, I love her with my head more than my heart. I am committed to her the way a parent can be committed to a sick foster child. I hope it will change. I am scheduled to have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday. There is only one thing that I will not be able to sustain - any underlying respiratory condition that can cause her to get sick with a pneumonia again. I just don't think I will survive another death of a puppy like that. I wonder if it's too selfish of me.

Here is my new baby girl. I went to a Kentucky yorkie show yesterday, and people were stopping me all over the place to say how gorgeous this baby is. I hope she finds happiness in my home.

Aww I'm so very sorry for the loss of your little girl. It's not easy to lost a beloved pet ... I know from first-hand experience. But your new baby will help your heart to heal and she'll give you so much love. All the best to you. :p

What a gorgeous new baby you have! I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your Manya. Although Manya cannot and should not be replaced, I hope you find lot's of joy with your new baby. I'm glad you were strong enough to have another puppy in your life...I hear of so many people who say they can't have another pet after the loss of one....I find that sad because pet lovers have so much love to give to so many deserving animals. Again, congratulations...she's a beauty!

I am sorry about Manya. It takes time but it will get better. Congratulations on your new little girl. What is her name? She is lovely.:)

My sincere condolences on the loss of your precious Manya. May she forever rest in peace. Your new baby is an absolute DOLL!

I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your baby, Manya. I believe in time that your new pup will carve her own little nich in your heart. I know from experience that nothing can ever fill the hole left by a lost pet, but we have big hearts and you can love a new one just as much. Your new baby is gorgeous and I look forward to watching her grow and hearing all about her.

I am sorry for your loss. Your new baby is adorable and i am sure will give you lots of love

What a sweet little princess. I undersrand what you are going through. I'm sure this little girl will worm her way into your heart in no time at all.

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. It must be very hard on you. Could you post a picture of Manya. I bet she was a cute!

Your new little bundle will never replace Manya but she will carve a new spot in your heart just like she did. She will have her own special ways and you will love her just as much but differently. I have three and I love them all for themselves.

Where about in Chicago do you live? There are quite a few members from the Windy City that will love meeting you.

Good luck with the baby.

My heartfelt condolences to you. Your new furbaby is a very lucky little girl to have found such a caring and wonderful home with you. She is also gorgeous. She will never replace Mayan but I am sure it will not be long before she has her own heartstrings intertwined with yours. Wishing you nothing but the best in your new journey with your baby.

Your new girl is positively beautiful !!!!! Just too cute!

I am also sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Manya. I can't imagine what you have gone through. Your new baby is beautiful. I am sure she will find happiness with you, and I hope she will help you to heal.

Your story is heart wrenching....I'm sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby. Especially hard when there is no warning...
This darling little angel you have now is a little doll!! Look at that face! Oh I could just eat her up! I hope she finds a way into your heart - she can never replace your Manya, but our hearts are big enough to love very deeply, all of our babies.

so sorry for your loss, and i give you all the hugs and thoughts in the world....

the nice thing is every yorkie is diffrent, they are an individual, and im sure in time you will love your new pup for what she is, and not try to compare her to your darling you lost, because she can't be replaced, she was her own personality. :)

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little baby Manya. And Congratulations on your beautiful new baby. She is stunning. She looks like she loves being spoiled by you already.

Thank you very much for your warm words. It helps to know that people care.
For those of you who want to see Manya, there is a link to my dogster cite for her.

http://www.dogster.com/dogs/455803/in/stroll/

My new girl's name is Dulcinea or Dulce, which means sweetness in Spanish.
Dulcinea is taken from "Don Quihote" by Miguel de Servantes. The main character, sad knight Don Quihote, was in love with lady Dulcinea.

Her pictures are adorable. Your story is very touching. I'm glad you found someone who also loves dogs so you can spoil your new baby together. I love the name you picked.

We went through a similar stituation with Jewel. We waited 8 months to bring home new puppies to love but like you, we were so scared of these two having serious illness that can take them away from us prematurely. We were so worried that we would compare the new pups to Jewel. That it wouldn't be fair to the new ones. But, we learned each pup has their own personality and each is just as precious. They have wrapped their little paws around our hearts and we love them dearly. We will always have a hole in our heart for Jewel.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Manya. She can NEVER be replaced. But the new baby will bring you new love and joy. She is beautiful. Congratulations.

Have you given her a name yet?

Your story was a very sad one and I am so sorry for the loss of Manya.
You have found yourself another baby to love and that is what you need
to heal your heart. No new pet will ever replace Manya but you have lots
of love to give and I am so happy for you. She is just beautiful. I am sure
you will both be inseperatable in no time. Good luck and I look forward
to watching her grow up on YT.

I'm so sorry about Manya.............

But your new baby is truly beautiful:) I pray that you can open your heart as well as your mind to the love this little one has to offer:)

Wow...Thank you for sharing your Dogster page. I am sitting here sobbing. I understand some of the regrets you are having, but you really can't beat yourself up this badly! You did what you could for her and like you said, you would have never left her side had it didn't look as though she were going to pull through. I know she knows how much you loved her and what she meant to you. I send you strength and prayers through this difficult time...

I know this puppy
 

I am a friend of your breeder and I will tell you this.....your little girl will change your life.....she is the sweetest girl ever....I saw her at her home and admired her little spunk and prissy attitude.. Her coat is gorgeous as is her face...I am sorry for your grief, but your new little girl will be soon the center of your world.....

Best wishes!!!
:thumbup: :thumbup:

I am so sorry for your loss. Your new baby will etch her place in yor heart. Fortunatley our hearts are big enough to love many furbabies and each one is special in their own way.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am going to through a very similiar situation. I lost my little girl not quite 2 weeks ago we had had her for a year and a day when she died she was only 14 months old. She got sick Wednesday and died Thursday. I am really want to get another one and I have found one she is only 6 weeks old right now and also has a open fontella and it is small too. I am having the same feelings you are that what if something fatal happens to her and what if I don't have the love for her that I had for Summer. I think that the best thing to do is to get a new puppy just like you did. My fiance and mom didn't think it was a good idea, but I talked them into it. Just like someone else said I believe that there will always be hole in my heart for Summer, but I will love the next one just as much. They are all soo different and thats makes them special. I hope everything turns out good for you. I am sure it will. Again I very sorry for your loss. I understand completly.

So sorry to hear about Manya. It is so incredibly hard to lose one whether they have been with you for a week or for a decade.:(

I think you have done a wonderful thing though for both you and your new baby. While clearly Manya cannot be replaced, another baby can give you a dedicated space to put all the love and attention you can no longer give to Manya. There is always one out there in need of it.

Welcome to your lucky new baby!:)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Manya. She was beautiful. It's heartbreaking. Your new puppy is beautiful and she is sooooo lucky to come to a loving home like yours.:)

She is adorable(que bonita:p ) love the name Dulcinea, I just got flash back in school when I was reading Don Quijote de la Mancha:D the test was hard but was worth it:thumbup:. Sorry for you other baby, so glad that you have given another baby the opportunity to have a wonderful home like yours:aimeeyork

I'm so very sorry about Manya. She was beautiful. You must have been so devastated. My London is sick right now with a respiratory infection and I am worried sick, hoping she will get better. I am so glad that you were able to get another dog and she is just gorgeous. I love the name Dulce by the way.

Thank you very much to everybody who replied or felt like replying.
The showing of support has been overwhelming. For those people who are going through the same situation, remember that you are not alone. There are good hearted people on this forum that are capable of such degree of compassion and love that is truly rare in this day and age.

You will hear some ignorant individuals say that our loss should not devastate us because each of us has lost "just a dog." It is not true. What we lost is a piece of heart where each mother stores the love for her only precious baby. When the baby is gone, this heart aches and bleeds.

Like so many of us on this forum who went through a similar experience, I did not want another puppy. My mother and my boyfriend talked me into having it. I simply went along with their decision. However, it was the best decision under the circumstances.

The experience of nurturing another baby has been incredibly healing. Dulce, even though she is just 9 months, has been behaving as if she understands something. She is constantly all over me. She follows me everywhere and gets excited over every little thing. Her love and her devotion fill the void. It is very empowering to be needed and wanted, and loved so much. Every little milestone in her life starts to feel, once again, like my own personal achievement as a mother.

To me, this concept of being validated as a mother was no less important than the possibility of having a loving companionship every day. Once I lost Manya, the first thought was that I failed as a parent. I should have been able to save her and I did not. That's where, I believe, my lack of desire to have another puppy came from. It is the fear of failing again that drove me to burry the idea of ever getting another Yorkie.

It is not over for me yet. The pain is still there. Most likely, it will always be there. I cry periodically, especially when I see Dulce fitting into Manya's clothes or sleeping on her bed. I also cry when I see her running away from me because the resemblance with Manya just before she died is striking. I call Dulce Manya sometimes. Not intentionally. It just slips from my tongue. It makes me sad. But you know what, I am capable of loving this tiny creature and loving her strongly. It feels phenomenal to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

That is so heartbreaking to read....Sorry to hear about your little Manya.