I really need to talk...
 

Hi guys/gals,

Here I am again...coming to YT to get some answers and support. I know I can rely on you guys.

I just want to know do you ever feel the pressure of people not understanding what makes you love your dog so much (not just yorkie, any dogs) and you treating your dog like your own family member, child? Do you get laughed at? Ridiculed? What do people close to you think? Do they love your dogs too?

Also, a different question for those that chose to not have a child (a human child) and is content with having a furkid, how do you deal with people thinking otherwise of you? I am 28 and neither my husband or I have the inclination to have kids. I know I would love my child if I have one but I really am very contented with my life as of now and I do not want to have a child just yet and I am not sure if I ever would have the feeling and I do not want to have a child just because I feel I am getting old. There is always a choice of adoption. I am just feeling the pressure lately. I feel that in our society, if you are married and do not want kids and prefer to just have a dog and love it a lot, you are perceived as there is something wrong with you. I really can make do with some hugs right now.

I'm married with just my 3 furkids (no skin kids) and yes, the general consensus is there is something wrong with me. My mother understands the dog obsession because she is a dog lover too but my father (and the majority of my family) doesn't. He thinks I have something wrong with my brain because I feel complete despite not having or wanting any kids. He thought it was insane the amount of money I spend on my dogs for travel and everything else. But you know what you have to live your life for you. Can't anyone else tell you what's going to make you happy nor are they justified in thinking there is something wrong with you for not wanting what they think you should want/have. It's all about you and what makes you happy. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. You should have a child when you are ready to have one, not when someone else thinks your ready. It took me a long time to get in this state of mind but I'm finally there.

I still however get the question repeatedly: Where the kids? To which I roll my eyes and keep it moving with a statement like "Are you going to raise them?".

Sending you a hug. :hug60: sounds like you need one today. Everyone I know loves dogs also. The only thing I get sometimes is I think people wonder about putting clothes on my dogs. But I don't care, I think they look cute.:) As for me, I don't think anything of it if a couple chooses to not have children for one reason or another. We have friends that don't have any children and that's their business.
Hope your day gets better for you. :wavey:

I know exactly what you mean !!! I do not have kids, nor do I want them. I am perfectly happy with only furkids. People just don't seem to get it. My babies are spoiled rotton and I love them more than anything!

My family makes fun of it. I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore.

Its funny, I just had a simular talk with my mom today. I just don't have that motherly feeling towards skin kids. (My mom is a HUGE kid person...HUGE. She LOVES kids. and I mean LOVES)

But I'm different with my furbabies. I guess thats why god created us all different. I have more tolerence for fur babies. If one of my babies makes a mess I just clean it up. If a skin kid makes a mess in my house I FREAK OUT ! Am I crazy?

My point in my post is.....your not alone. No one understands my love for my animals, but like I said...I'm realising that I don't care anymore becasue I have to make me happy. And my furbabies do that !!!!!:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Sending lots of hugs your way! :hug: :love-hug3 :love-hug1 :hug60: :big_hug: :justahug: :ghug:

Nobody understand my obsession with my dogs...not even my husband. But don't worry. Just consider yourself to be lucky enough to have an extra kind soul to care for a furbaby. And you are not the only one content with having just a furkid and no skin children. Hubby and I talk everyday about whether we actually want children or if we should just have furkids. I'm still very young and still have time to decide, but it is definately something we consider. And you are right...if you ever get the desire to have kids and cannot conceive, you can adopt. Chin up. We're all here for you! :) :) :)

Don't worry about what other people might think. No matter what you do, don't do, say, don't say and so on, you will never please everyone, so don't even think or worry about it. Just continue being yourself and loving your fur-kid. When or if you are ready for skin kids, you will "know" it. Big hug for you from me and nub wags from my fur girls. :hug: :Puppy2: :Puppy2:

I agree people don't understand....I've raised my kids and having the yorkie girls are like my 2nd time around and I love it just as much as I did with my boys...

My family isn't a 'dog' family so I get alot of eye rolling....I just laugh about it and one of my favorite things to do is start a sentence with...."Want to hear a Chanel & Cheri Story" ? and my dads eyeballs practically dissapear into his head...it's more of a joke now than me actually wanting to tell them a dog story ...I just like the reaction I get :D

I don't understand why anyone would want to pressure someone with no desire to have kids, to have them.

It's not like humans are on the endangered list.:rolleyes:

There is more than one way to live a life.

Big hug from me and lots of puppy kisses from Momiji to you.
Personaly, if a person feels no desire to have child then we shouldn't force a person to have one. The child will be raised in the environment where she or he won't be receiving the love that the child deserves.
Every children deserve lots of love but if the parents are not sure about having kids, how can they receive love from the parents???
I am in the middle as well. I'm in late 30's and still looking for a husband. I am not really a kid?s person myself so I am not sure....
My father is crazy about kids. He just loves kids so he has been asking for last almost 20 years to be a grand-father!!!
But he also love Momiji (which they haven't met yet... in 2 weeks they will visit me from Japan!!!)
I'm sure I'll love my child to death but do I really want one at this stage, I'm getting old and I am so happy with my yorkie....
So I'll let God decide.
If I have one, then I'll have one.
If not, hope my father will forgive me....

Thank you everyone. I feel better. You guys are just the best. I have forgotten the fact that whatever people do, don't do, say or don't say you will never please everyone. I am so used to trying to please everyone as I am new to the family and it is wearing out on me because no one is trying to understand me and where I come from to the point that I am feeling frustrated and pretty upset. At the same time, I also feel in a lot of ways, I am being mistaken without anyone even asking me questions and talking to me!!!! I do not want a human kid and that does not mean I am a bad person, cold-hearted etc! Its fine they dislike me because from the start they have not liked me and the first image is hard to change. I am a tough girl anyways. I just don't understand why people could be so judgemental (without knowing much) and cruel to someone who does not have a lot of social support here. I keep telling myself I am tough but I feel like crying....argh!!!

None of my friends or fam understand my obsession w/my dogs. I do plan on having kids too, but I'll still be walking my furbabies all dressed up right along with them. They give me unconditional love, caring, and are always there and for that they deserve absolutely everything I can give them to make their lives as happy as they make mine :)

No matter what you do, what you say, or how you act - there will always be someone judging/questioning/criticizing you. I know its easier said than done, but don't sweat it - its all small stuff. You love your dog and your husband and that it all you need to be concerned about. I applaud couples who know they are not ready or decide to not have children because they don't feel they want/need them to be fulfilled in their life.

I have 2 skin-kids. Daughter, Ariel 8 y.o. and my son, Nathan 6 y.o. I love them very much!!! But I am head over heels in love with my fur-babies and nobody understands, not even my partner, she thinks I'm crazy! My partner, friends and family now call me THE DOG LADY...they say I'm obsessed over them. I guess it's a good thing I am proud to be or there would be a lot of hurt feelings...:(

I always figure everyone has their own life and to live and let live. Nobodys gonna let you tell them how to live theirs. so to me I say: you can please ALL the people SOME of the time and SOME of the people all the time, but you cant please ALL the people ALL the time so please yourself.

Well, Im sending hugs your way too....:hug: :love-hug3 :kiss3: :big_hug: :ghug: I dont know why people think that it is their business anyways as to what your preferance is. It is entirely up to you and what YOU are comfortable with. I had people preasuring me to have kids when earlier than I was ready too and it really bugged me....I did eventually have them, but in MY TIME, what was right for me! Anyways, what would the world be like if there were not people like you and me who are dog lovers.....its bad enough that there is so much abuse and homelessness in the dog world......I say Thank GOD for people like you! And dont stress over what other people say or think. It is NONE of their business...plain and simple....its your life and your free to live it as you wish. Cheer up!

My Dear,
you have a good, loving heart. One's decision to have children or not has nothing to do with their capacity to love, comfort, nurture, mentor or care for others.
Sometimes I think that it's us tough girls who can be hurt the deepest. Of course you feel like crying. It hurts when people are cruel and insensitive. I wish I had pearls of wisdom to give you, to tell you to just ignore them. But I know you can't. You know what they say about "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me"? It was probably said by a loving, tough girl. Those mean words do hurt, and they stay with you for along time. You don't cry in front of those people but do it when you're alone and sad.
Don't be sad. Just surround yourself with loving people that can celebrate happiness. Learn to forgive those who make you sad. Look forward to a long and happy life. And next time you're feeling down...come here, we're here for you. :aimeeyork Hugs...

You girls should not feel bad about sharing your feelings. It's like a :aimeeyork Diary ...that talks back!!!!
We've all experienced many good and bad times in our lives and maybe just one or two words is enough to renew your spirit and let you know that you're not alone. Hugs.

Sending hugs to both Potter and Jess :ghug: :ghug: . I wish this world (especially those we love and are supposed to love us) were more kind and gentle. I hope that both of you find the love and support you need right now. It is so sad that we can't all have understanding parents and in-laws who would love us and respect us for who we are, not what we can produce.

Yorkies are real babies
 

I have 3 kids full grown now (2 girls 27 and 20 years old - a boy 15 years old). They don't need me so much and my Kissie is my little baby. My life is really complete with her and if people does'nt understand the meaning of this inconditionnal love, they dont know what they miss.:D

Thank you for the hugs and words of support, its really great being here! :D We could all do with sharing some feelings here especially since we are on the verge of exploding. It makes sense because I only post personal stuff when I explode. Otherwise, if can keep calm and control it, I would. I myself am not sure if I would regret posting stuff in public. I might but I am really feeling better right now and that is all that matters for today because how do you get by day by day if you do not settle what you feel today? It'd be nice if it can be deleted after though, maybe. There is a lot more to the story that I supposed I cannot share here but it hurts. Very much. Most of the time I am very easy going but I feel people have gone too far and too much out of line that bothers me.

The other thing is, when I read how grandparents treat yorkies very good and spoil them; I kind of feel bad for my boy. I know I am not supposed to compare and I try not to but I just feel bad for him. I mean I can understand that not everyone likes dogs but he at least deserves a chance. Its not like he is spoilt to the extent of not being trained or no discipline. He is very well trained, only has separation anxiety problem which I am working on very very slowly. His temperament is the best out of all the dogs I have had. I just feel so bad for him at times. He deserves a little more love and credit and not being judged so much. I know if I go home to visit my parents for a few weeks and I can't bring him, I'd probably have to worry about my boy. I just wish I had a little more support and Siu Pao gets a little more love that he deserves.

Yes
 

Most people around me think the same thing!
I love my dogs, and they are very precious to me!

NOTHING is better than coming home to them after a long day and all they want is PUPPY KISSES!

They are always there, loving me and making sure that I know I am loved. I wouldnt change that for anything!

I raised 2 skin boys. Now is my time to have GIRLS!!!!!!! I don't give a flip what anyone says. I love my babies - I have had lots of animals in my day and I have never bonded to any like I have to my Yorkies. I'm not going to apologize to anyone for loving them like crazy.

On the other hand, I have to reign myself in and not keep BUYING them things! They are so fun and easy to spoil. I don't want to end up with middle age Yorkie brats... :eyebrow2:

So, enjoy your babies - Yorkie or whatever and enjoy your life if it is the way you want it. We only go around once!:D

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

Hang in there, ladies! Think of this: Do your Yorkies ever criticize you for having people in your life that make you feel this way? :)

We've always had animals my whole life and I've never loved one like my current Yorkie. :aimeeyork He's not the brightest bulb in the pack but he loves me. He doesn't care if I gain weight, how much money I have -- or don't -- or most of the time, even what's for dinner. All he wants as soon as I hit the door is to be picked up so he can kiss me! Not a bad deal.;)

dont you worry about what anyone has to say.. you do what you want.
i never had children either, ive been married too, just never happend, oh
well, there is nothing i can do about it now.. yes im upset sometimes,, but what am i to do now... i have lexi and she fullfills my life and thats all i need
at the moment....

Potter and JESSY_RN2B:
I know how you feel...I'm 28 myself, but my hubby is a few years older and has 3 kids from his first marriage. I am a new resident here and I have to start basically from scratch here, education and finally, in a few years, the job that I want. I know it won't be easy but this is the choice I made and, honestly, I'm not sure when there could be a good time for me to have kids, it feels if I have any skin-kids, I can forget about bettering my life and geting what I want from life... I don't know when I will be situated with my career - maybe 5 years from now, maybe more. And I'm getting close to my 29th birthday. That's why Pepper is so very important to me and I know I baby him a little too much sometimes, but I know what you girls are feeling.

I have to start from scratch too but I cannot start yet. I don't even know if I will get to start as I am still waiting. I also like you made my choice and with everything going on, skin kids might never be an option and I am very contented with furkid anyways. The waiting alone is stressful not to mention people that are supposed to be close do not provide support and worse yet add to the stress. It just makes me angry thinking about it because my own family goes out of their way to support both me and my husband but they are no where close. I just need to come to terms with the situation and do the best that I can do improve things but half of my hands is still tied. I really have been exploding these couple of days, can't help it. Can't surpress it any longer. I just hope life will move on for me and I will be able to provide a better life for my furbaby and maybe get him a sister or brother later on. I guess I am also one of those people where if there is a puppy and a baby, I will pick the puppy without blinking twice.

I totally understand loving your baby. I have 3 grown kids and I love them very much but this little guy is my best bud. I even have a shirt for him that says "favorite child". Thank goodness my husband feels the same way.

I was married for a very short time and we did not have any children. I am almost 36. I'm thinking of becoming a foster mom, but I don't know if I can do it financially. I have always had the desire to be a mom. With women having babies in their late 30's and early 40's these days, I still have hope to meet a wonderful man, but I'm starting to prepare myself for if that never happens. (I'm a jerk magnet when it comes to men) I think God brought my dogs into my life to fill that part of my heart that felt incomplete. All my friends and siblings have kids, my last single friend got married last year. And I don't want it to sound like if I were to meet a nice guy and have kids that my relationship would change with my dogs, because it wouldn't. I keep my friends baby every other saturday and they love her. They even go around the house looking for her when she's gone. I think we are given people/dogs to love. It's a gift and its unconditional. I am blessed.