Should I feel this way already?!
 

I posted yesterday that my 9yr. old Toby passed away. I am doing better. Only cried once today. Cried myself out yesterday I think.
All I can think about today is getting a new puppy. I'm sure I am thinking that it will help fill the void but I am wondering if I should be feeling this way already. I won't be getting a new puppy until the summer time when I don't have to work or atleast that is the plan. I know everyone copes in their own way but I guess I am wondering if this is somewhat normal.
Also, I am worried that my family will want to get a different breed of dog but I can't imagine not having a yorkie. I think once you have one you don't want anything else.
Has anyone else had the same feelings that I seem to be having?
Thank you in advance for all your help!
You have all been wonderful!!

Everyone grieves in different ways. The way you feel is the way you feel, it is neither right or wrong, it is just your brain talking to your heart. For me, after I lost my dear little Laciebug, it was almost 10 years before I was ready to let another Yorkie into my life. In the meantime we became proud parents to the most wonderful Boxer that ever walked the face of the earth. I now have a house full of young yorkies now and an elderly boxer.

Sending hugs.... :ghug: I am so glad that you found this site and were able to allow us the opportunity to share your grief

There is no such thing as a "Normal way to Grieve" everyone is different and what is right for you is not right for another. Only you can know what you need to do to make yourself feel better.

Do what's in your heart.

I'm so sorry to hear of Toby's passing.

Don't apologize for the way you feel...or question it. You lost something precious to you & you've got an empty place in your heart & home. Don't be surprised if your feelings change, that's all part of the grieving process. Your feelings show that you're a loving person who misses her best friend, Toby. Your heart will tell you what to do & when you're ready. You are a good Mommy & any furbaby would be glad to be yours. :)

CJ

If your ready to get another yorkie by all means do so! Everyone is different in their grieving, there is no right or wrong way.

I say if you feel your ready it, go for it!

So sorry about Toby, I know it really hurts when we loose a dear one.

so sorry about you losing Toby. But if you feel a new one would help fill the void, I say start looking for the one you want. It will never take Tobys place for sure but It can help get your mind off of you loss faster I think because you'll have something else to take care of and give you less time to think. But everyone has to go thru their period of grief whatever way helps them the most.
It might just be the best thing for you. I wish you all the best.

When we lost Maggie, my husband wanted another Yorkie right away. I was not sure. I didn't want to "replace" her. I worried we would never love another as much as Maggie. I resisted a bit, but finally started looking for another Yorkie. We wound up getting both a male and a couple months later a female too. I am so thankful for them! They lifted the whole family. I have two other dogs too -- a dachshund and a Jack Russell. They had been depressed and obviously grieving Maggie's loss too. In tribute to our Maggie -- we will always have Yorkies. Ben and Sadie have brightened all our lives and we do love them just as much. Each is different as night and day, with their own individual personalities and so loving!

We all feel differently but I don't think it could ever be wrong to get another pet after we have lost one. Our special pets will always have a place in our hearts long after they are gone. But a new baby finds its own place in our heart to fill too!

So, find that new special addition -- in tribute to your dear Toby! I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the new baby will bring you some comfort and grow to be as important a member of your family as Toby!

I am sorry for your loss of Toby. Another dog will not replace the love
you had for Toby but it will replace the whole that was left in your heart.
I waited for 3yrs before getting another dog. I was sure I did not want to put myself through the grieving process again. It was to much for me.
But the time came when I knew it was time to start again.
If you feel it the right time then by all means do what you want.
Your not being disloyal in anyway to Toby. He would want you to be happy.


Carol & Buddy

Having gone through the same thing with Muffin and having loved her with all of my heart and then some I can say that I started wanting another one after a few weeks. I was still grieving for Muffin when I got Kacee. I still grieve for her. She was everything to me. I say go with your heart and don't feel guilty for it. Having another one to keep me busy chasing her around constantly helped ease the grief by not giving me time to fall into that dark hole that grief sometimes becomes. So, as I said, don't feel guilty. You have the love to give and they want to love you back!:p

I'm so sorry for your loss. My family lost our sweet girl Piper two weeks ago today, and the pain is unbelievable. She was our first Yorkie, and brought so much love to our family. As everyone here has already told you, we each grieve in different ways. There is no "normal".

I think you should look at it this way.....because Toby was so special to you, and you are missing him so much, you are not being disloyal to his memory by wanting another pup so soon. If anything, your feelings are a tribute to him and what a wonderful dog he was. And no, I don't think you are trying to replace him. That could never happen. But, you can still have a totally different, but, special, relationship with another special Yorkie.

Piper was my first "grand baby", my daughter's little girl. In our family, we are all feeling the loss differently. I, too, in just a few days started thinking of the next one, and even applied as a foster home to a rescue group. My daughter Jessie, needs more time, but, has said she wants another Yorkie. Hubby and son are leaning more like me. When it is right, we'll know, I'm sure.

The feelings you have for your sweet Toby, will never diminish. It will get easier in time. Try to remember all of the great times and love you shared with him. Nothing can take that away. And when you do get your new dog, just remember that Toby is with you and watching your adventures with the new pup, happily. My prayers are with you and your family.

I can feel your pain. We lost our darling Daisy last May at only a year and a half old. It happened during a particularly hard time for our family as our daughter was ill. Daisy was the light of our lives. She made all of the bad things our family was going through seem temporarily gone. My daughter (and the rest of us) couldn't take the whole in our lives. Four days later we brought Darcy home. Darcy didn't by any means replace Daisy, but she helped our family through a tough time. I introduced Daisy, in her resting place, to Darcy and told her that it was because of her that we brought Darcy into our lives. I also had the pleasure of introducing Rocky to Daisy four months ago. We are still going through rough times and treat our furbabies like royalty. I think we have a very special family both human and canine (feline and bird too). Don't worry about how you grieve, we all do what we need to do.

I only have one thing to say to everyone on this website:
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
I can't believe how lucky I was to find this site. I do believe that Toby must have guided me to it. The fact that some of you have been thru what I am going thru and are able to let me know that what I am feeling is ok is so helpful. I went to the grocery today and while there picked up a thank you card to send to our vet for everything he did for Toby. Thank goodness one of my daughters was with me or I would have lost it right there in the store.
Thanks again!!

You're very welcome! It's very difficult to go through and many of us here know how awful it is at times. After losing Muffin, I can still remember how terrible it was to be walking through the stores and see something that I used to buy for her or looking around the house and her toys weren't scattered around. It seems like all of the little things gang up on you sometimes. You'll be ok. You'll just never be quite the same again. I wish you the best.:)

Im so sorry about the passing of your beloved boy!

I got my 2 boys only about 1.5 months after my Stuart passed away. I was grieving very much for him, but my boys sat on my lap and licked my tears and my face, smoothered me with kisses and made me feel so much better! I couldn't imagine a house with no critters! I didnt feel guilty for getting my boys so soon afterwards. I did a little comparing with my beloved stuart, but I dont anymore. I think you should do whatever you are most comfortable doing! :)

:sad: So sorry about Toby :littleang. I think is a wonderful idea to get another baby I'm sure it will honor Toby's memory just to know that another one got blessed like he was:smile:

I had the same feelings of guilt after the loss of my 15 year old poodle. I was knocked for a loop when we had to put him down - more so than I thought I would be because we had known it would be soon. After about a week, I realized that I was just MEANT to have a lap baby. I felt so guilty even considering it but I talked to a really good friend who told me she had been the same way and had broken down and got a new pup. Never regretted it! Then I had a long talk with my vet who had taken care of Dax (my poodle) his whole life and he told me how good of a mommy I had been to Daxton and that any other pup, whether it was now or later, would be lucky to have me. He said that if thought I wasn't ready, he would say so but he gave his full "blessing". We got Tatum a week later. Although I miss Dax terribly, the love that Tatum has given has helped ease that grief so much.

And I agree with Karen.... your feelings are a tribute to how you feel for your angel baby.... no other dog will replace him in your heart and a true animal lover will not think that is what you are trying to do.

I say go for it!

Thank You from Seattle
 

Oh, thank you because it has been 2 mos. since my beloved Sophie 13 yr. female was helped to cross the Rainbow Bridge. She was my constant since she was a puppy, and we grew into our senior years together. There isn't a "patch kit for a broken heart" and very close to adopting a rescue male 9 yr. old Yorkie with health issues. My family feels it is too soon, my vet examined him and felt I should have a healthy pet since Sophie was extremely ill for years.

I have read pet loss articles extensively, write in a daily journal to help work through the grieving process. BUT I am so empty without a little friend to come home to or take for a walk.

My main question is: Will you know without a doubt when it is the right time to have another pet? No hesitation?

Thank you for this website and the honest writing. Warmly, Deborah from Seattle

I think you'll know. Sometimes you don't pick them ... they pick YOU!

I was blessed to have that experience almost 10 years ago. We had to put our first Yorkie down (cancer at 11.5 years). I've had animals all my life (pick a creature and we've probably had one) but NEVER had to put one down. It was the right thing to do of course but that doesn't diminish what you're actually doing. I was devastated.

A week later, we went to "look" at puppies. I was definitely against getting another dog. I picked up one of the puppies and he immediately settled onto my shoulder. He was SO CUTE! I asked him if he was "lovey" to which he answered by licking my face. For the next 90 minutes, I would shift him periodically from one shoulder to the other and he never budged. I kept getting kisses ... and by the time we were ready to leave -- I had my Ozzie. That was in 1997.

I think it would be selfish "not" to give another needy baby a home in honor of your beloved Toby. What would be wrong is expecting the new one to be exactly like Toby. They are all different, just like human kids! That's the beauty of it all.

I Understand What You Are Feeling.

We Lost Our Benjie In July 2005, And We Were Heartbroken........

I Insisted We Were Never Having Another Dog, But My Daughter And Husband Finally Persuaded Me To Change My Mind..... And May 06 We Got Harvey..... He Is Such A Special Little Baby - Just As Benjie Was In His Own Way Too.

You See I Needed To Realise You Can Love Another, Without It Being A Reflection On Your Feelings For Your Other Dog.

Getting Harvey Was The Best Thing I Ever Did - And You Cant Go Through Life Avoiding The Things That Hurt Us - At The Cost Of Giving And Recieving Soooooooooo Much Love.

I Thought It Best To Avoid Getting Another Dog - To Spare Us The Pain Of Losing Another - How Wrong I Was.............