Split Custody
 

Okay here is the situation. I love my two kids with all my heart but my partner is leaving me and moving 3 hours away. I cant stand the thought of not waking up every morning and letting my kids out to the bathroom. Or even coming home from work and hearing my little girl barking when i put my key in the door. Playing with my lilttle man man. And spending or first chirstmas together. Those dogs was my life. MY angle is only 4 months i cant even get the chance to watch her grow. Iam really hurt rigth. I know their just dogs but i raised them like they really was my kids. I really dont want them to go but my partner wants to leave. Is there a such thing of split custody with dogs? :unlove:

Sorry you are having to go through this! Who "owns" the dogs legally?

well i signed for both dogs and my name is on the paper for his akc papers but so are hers. dont get me wrong i dont want to take them from her but i just want to be in there life also

My parents divorced and they "shared" my dog, I was grown when this took place and my dad really loved Bucky he was a peikapoo. He would visit with him on weekends and he took care of all grooming he needed in the summer time, he would give him baths and take him to the vet. When Bucky had to be put down about 5 years ago (he was attacked my 2 dogs) He died in my dads arms. Bucky was 15 then. Sweet dog he was my childhood buddy.

It can be done my co-workers parents are going through divorce and they are sharing the dogs her dad see's them every other weekend.

Why is she the one who takes them with her ? I know that both dogs grew up together but if worst comes to worst why don't you keep one each ?

Then I would definitely split the time. Although Toto is absolutely mine, legally, [Patrick wanted it that way because he bought her for me] she loves us equally. I would want her to spend time with him as well, but I would have to be the one with "full custody"!! Good luck, I hope it all works out. I can fully understand how heartbreaking the situation could be.

That's exactly what I was thinking....what about you each taking one? I know that would be SUPER HARD though, because then you'd have to pick between them...and which ever one you DIDN'T take, you would probably feel really badly about :( BUT - I guess it has to be fair in some way huh? :( I am so sorry that you are having to go through this and I hope like heck that you guys can work it out about who gets the babies :(

i think whoever takes care of them the most should keep them its not fair for the dogs to go back and forth or be split up

That's another good point...it WOULD be kinda sad to see the little ones split up like that :( I didn't even THINK of that!!! :rolleyes: I was just trying to think of the two of YOU - and trying to save you guys a little bit of heartache...but you really DO have to think about those babies too :cry8: Whatever happens....I wish you all the best!

i wouldn't want to share custody at all ..when you break up with someone well that's all there is too it as far as i'm concerned you really shouldn't have anything else to do with them there's a reason you break up to move on. but that's just the way i have always been & thought guess it's different for every person. i hope it works out for you whatever you choose.

I'm assuming your partner wants them also, which is why you asked. That's a tough one. You mentioned one was only 4 months old, how old is the other one?

If the one is only four months, then you probably haven't had her all that long and they have bonded, but not as much as they could have. I would suggest you each take one if that's the case. If it's not and they've been together for awhile, then I'd say find a way to keep them together. You and your partner should really sit down and discuss what's going to be involved for their care. Whose schedule will accomidate them better and their health care, etc.

Good luck, I hope things work out.

Thats a hard one. I know when my ex left, he took Bear, our yorkie, and gave him to his mother! It almost killed me. I loved Bear so much. But he said Bear belonged to him, cause he paid for him.

It took me about 3 years to get over the heartache to get another one. Since then, I even bought another one, so now I have 2.

I don't know how Bear is doing. Times my babies reminded me so much of Bear. He was one unforgettable dog, and my first yorkie.

I don't know what to say to you here. If both of you are attached to the dogs, do what your heart says to do. Its a hard decision. But I think joint custody could work for some.

This is a hard one, and I hate to say this, but I would give up both before seperating them. They belong to you if they are registered in your name so the chose has to be yours. As for split costudy, I am all for it. We treat these little ones as our babies and if they were human babies you would have to share costudy unless one person was unfit.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for you...

the other one is a boy his almost a year. i love them so much i dont want to lose them. They are both our first dogs. i just dont know what to do.

Well since it is your partner who is leaving...let her go but tell her the dogs stay especially since your name is on the papers. Sure, you dont want to keep her from them and blah blah blah but I am thinking about future terms. What if one day, if she has the dogs, she decides she doesnt want them anymore and gets rid of them WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Or what if she up and moves and you dont know where she is? What if she gets an attitude and ends the "split custody" thing? I would just let her come and visit. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. If she wants to come see them, fine. If she doesnt, that's fine, too! It's true that we treat these as our human babies and I can guarantee that no one would get them let alone my furbabies!!! Just my opinion, tho. My mom says I can be too opinionated...I hope this isn't the case here. It just tugs my heart!!!

My ex & I are both on Howie's akc paperwork. When we broke up originally we thought we would give the split custody thing a shot. It didn't work. Howie is with me full-time now and it took some time but he's basically forgotten all about my ex. If I were you, I would either keep both of the dogs or one of them. They don't seem like they've been together all that long to get super attached. Remember, you have rights to these dogs too! Best of luck to you.

if both of your names are on the paper, you CAN legally get a lawyer and fight her for them. I have heard of cases where one partner gets the dogs and the other has visitation rights. Or they even work it out like human kids. One parent has them this week or weekend and the other has them on the other week or weekend, etc. If you love these babies this much, I would consider fighting for them. I legally own all my dogs so it would never be an issue, but if it was I'd fight tooth and nail for every single one of them. They are my kids and I can't turn my back on them. Good luck in everything and let us know!

As in human kids , It will make a mess for nothing .

Since the one is so young they would probably adjust to the split quickly. Especially if you each got a second one.

Are the dogs closer to one of you than the other?

I know it is going to be hard no matter what you do, but I believe that is the only fair way to do it. Or one of you buy one from the other partner so you can afford to get a new one.

It's a tough one. Good luck on what ever you decide.

I think since your partner is the one who wants to leave, and you are the one who signed, then why uproot the dogs and make them all nervous, they should get to stay in there home that they are used to. It's your partner who wants to leave, why make the dogs sad and take them away from there home? I would fight this one. Who was the one who wanted to get the dogs? Who's name is 1st on the paper? Maybe you can buy her out if she helped purchace them.

This must be hard!! When I left my husband I left him fast...I moved into a home where I couldnt take my cocker spaniel Denver and she was MY BABY!! He assured me he would keep her until I could find a home that would allow pets (a few months) and to be spiteful he GAVE HER AWAY!! I still keep in contact with the girl who got her...do you believe she wouldnt let me have her back?? I still cry for my denver and that was 4 years ago...

If you and your partner arent splitting on good terms and 3 hours is quite far for 'joint custody', I suppose you could try the legal route...sounds like it will be quite messy and I wonder how seriously you will be taken in court?? If you know she is legally on the paperwork then it might be a waste of time and effort?? I dont know an easy solution.

Would you consider getting yourself a new pup...to start a fresh new year with? Keeping intouch with your partner and hearing about the other two dogs through letters and pictures? I know you will miss them...gosh this is harder than I thought...there really is no easy answer to this one..im sorry your going through this..huge hugs..

Dawn

well destiny is the youngest (4 months) she loves me too deaf. She is more my baby then hers. Pooh (10months) he listens to her more but likes to play with me more. I think he loves both of us the same. But the two of them ( des and pooh) play together all the time. They never been apart. I dont know if splitting them is a good idea. Well i dont no whats a good idea???:confused:

Well here goes....................

First of all - dogs can go back and forth quite happily.

My daughter and her husband both work - and their dog is dropped off at his parent's house every day while they work. He's always excited to go and stay with them --- and excited when he is picked up to go back home. And, sometimes, when they go on a weekend trip - he stays longer. He is totally happy both places. (and, he has done this for years...!!)

I truly believe that "well adjusted" dogs are happy wherever they are loved and well taken care of. I've mentioned before that my two dogs have "sleepovers" with some of my friends and relatives and their children and dogs. And - believe me - they have nothing but fun!

BUT - as an earlier poster mentioned -- in your case (a couple breaking up) - it would certainly be better for the both of you to move on with no ties.

Have the two of you considered going together and helping her get a new little puppy all her own? I think this would be the perfect and best solution for everyone. (Personally - if I were in your situation - so that I could keep the dogs, I would be willing to bear the entire cost of a new puppy for my friend --- after all - you would get to keep the two dogs you have - a small price to pay.)

And - if the two of you do remain friends - perhaps your dogs can have an occasional "sleepover." If they're like mine - everyone would enjoy that!
It's always nice to have a place where your dogs can visit - where you know they will be loved and well taken care of.

Good luck - Carol Jean

I think this is an exception. The dogs are being dropped off at the grandma's house...NOT at an EX's house. There's a difference. I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my baby at my ex's house like that. Unlike our human kids, furbabies can not tell us if they are being mistreated or what is going on. If her name isn't on the papers, I wouldn't worry about it. A judge can't decree joint custody on something that isn't legally hers. I agree with the post that suggested to buy her a new puppy. BUT I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T DO SHARED CUSTODY.

Tassibo - I hope you read all of my post -

My point was that dogs can readily adjust to being with and visiting different people - let's make it a given that they are loved and well taken care of....at these different homes.

Because -- I thought the situation here was that two people are breaking up - both of whom love the dogs... any abuse or not taking good care of the dogs didn't even enter my mind....

Nevertheless - I said that I thought the best possible solution would be for the girlfriend to get a new little puppy and have her own dog.

****** But - let's not forget that often when people break up or become divorced - they are able to stay friends. We have many of these situations in my family.

**** And my daughter and her husband may be leaving their dog with his parents - but they are not the dog's grandparents. In fact, let's be honest - the dog doesn't know about such relationships. All he knows is that he has known them for a long time and they love and take good care of him so he loves them back and loves to spend time with them. And - he loves to come over here too. (I have taken care of him a few weekends myself.)

When we start talking about relationships between dogs and people - I have to laugh at a recent post that said, "I am so worried - I'm getting my son neutered tomorrow...." Or the one that said, "We're going on vacation and we don't know where to leave our babies." Another - "My daughter has become agressive - and I can't afford a behavorial specialist."

Truly - sometimes I have to go back and reread posts - because I'm not sure if they are talking about their children or their dogs...... and - sometimes, believe it or not - they are talking about their children -

To each his own ---

Carol Jean

I have indeed read all of your posts. I wasn't implying that there IS abuse...I was just saying that IF something happened the pups wouldnt be able to speak up. I, too, am speaking my opinion. I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them somewhere like an ex's house but that's me. If the OP feels comfortable doing, by all means, more power to her. If they remain friends, great. If they dont, great. It really doesn't affect me. I thought she was just asking for all of our opinions. Afterall, it is SHE who has to make the final decision. It is SHE who will have to live with the consequences of that decision.
My apologies if offense was taken by my calling the parent's "grandparents." I obviously know they aren't literally the pooch's grandparents but a lot of people do look at dogs that way. I'm not stupid enough to think that when the dog is dropped off at their house he is thinking...oh, boy...grandma's house! That was just my way of saying that of course they are safe over there. They are the parents. I'm by no means a knowledgable breeder and true, this is my first ever Yorkie. But please give me more credit than that!
You are right. To each his own. My grandma always said that opinions are like butt holes...EVERYBODY HAS ONE.

:aimeeyork :animal36 :animal-pa

EXACTLY!! You keep the babies!

IMO, if your partner is the one who wants to leave, then YOU keep the babies.

Hope everything is working out!!!! Let us know how it does!!!

This is purely a personal decision that you must search your heart for the answer, however, you did ask and I'm with Willo .... if this person that you shared a special part of your life decides to give it all up -- well the furchildren are part of that. When you make choices in life you must live with the consequences of those decisions. The Yorkie kids will adjust no matter what you decide, I am more worried about YOU!

Good luck and let us know how things turn out!