Should I feel hurt!
 

I can't believe I am asking for a second opinion on this but I really feel hurt
and insulted. This incident happened three weeks ago and I am still stewing
over it. My brother in law asked me to come for a visit and said I could bring
the "dog". I have never brought him to my sister's before because they had
a lab mix that did not like strange dogs. They had to recently put him down, he was really a love but now Buddy can come down. Here is what he said:
Come on down, bring the dog, you can "TIE" him in the back yard! Is "IT"
trained? They do not have a back yard, it is only dirt and weeds, they only
tied their own dog out there to go to the bathroom because he was to lazy
to walk him. I was so mad I said I had to go and hung up. I never mentioned
it to my sister but it will be a cold day in hell before I ever return I can tell
you that. The nerve! Buddy is cleaner than he is. Should I mention it to my
sister or wait until she asks me why I am not visiting this summer? I'm still
mad.

You have every right to be upset. How dare he suggest you tie your little dog outside. Is he kidding? :eek:

I would be hurt too....
 

and I sure as heck would not take my dog knowing that he would have to be tied out back. Some people just don't understand that these little dogs are like our babies. I would be honest and tell my sister why I wasn't planning a visit.

It is wrong but I am in a similar situation. My grandmother does not like animals in her house PERIOD!! I am planning a vacation up there sept 1-5 and dont know what im going to do. She has a breeze way in her house that I can keep him out there but I dont like that idea..hes a good dog and really little but shes old and set in her ways!!:(

Its hard to believe that some people can be so ignorant to the love one has for their pet. I can relate to you. I am not visiting my mother in law this summer because she does not respect Baby at all. She thinks my devotion to her is insane and she threw a hissy fit when she heard I bought Juicy. She hasn't talked to me in 4 weeks. :( I think that you are right to be hurt. I hope that you can come to a decision. I personally would tell your sister. Maybe he was joking. Yorkies can't be tied up in the back yard. He has to know that much!!:confused:

I would talk to your sister about it. Maybe your Brother in law was having a bad day.

I personally don't think you should sever your relations with your sister over your dog. You don't have to choose, you should be able to have both. I am close enough to my sister that I would, if I was you, call my sister and say something about you feeling hurt because her husband was inconsiderate to your feelings, that they should all know how special your pup is to you and that you would NEVER tie your dog in dirt outside. That next time you come you will just leave him at home but just wanted her to know that you were really hurt by his actions.

We all love our babies, but we also have to be considerate to other people who for one reason or another, just don't like pets or even your dog in particular. We can't understand that because we are crazy over our babies, but we have to remember that not a lot of people are like us. We have to respect their home and their wishes when we are there. I've come to learn and accept the fact that as cute as coco is, not everyone will welcome her with open arms to their homes, and that's ok. I will not sever ties with those people because they have a right to live comfortably as well. Just keep that in mind. Its kind of like when someone wants to come over with their kid and as a single person sometimes you just wish they could come alone because their kid is annoying or whatever. Similar situation.

I would definately say something to my sister. Just matter of factly say I won't be able to visit you since I cannot tie Buddy outside when I visit like your Husband wants. Leave it at that and see what she says.

That's good. I can do that. Funny thing is their dog and I truly loved him,
had full run of the house. He called him his son so he knows what it is to
love an animal. I just don't understand why he would be so fresh to me.
Granted not all his wires are connected at times but we really do get along
nicely which is why I feel so hurt. Thanks for all your suggestions. I love
this site.

well if i might say, my entire family knows how i feel about my dog and going to there house... if i come, lexi comes.. if lexi cant come, i dont go..in plain english....and thats that.. your sister imsure knows how you feel about animals, especially your, so let it out sweetie and get it off your chest...

Should I feel hurt?
 

Honestly, don't take it personally. Your brother in law might not be a pet person. A lot of people think of a pet as just that...a pet. You think of your pet like a child. It probably never even entered his mind that you wouldn't want your little one outside the whole time. Maybe you could bring a fold down playpen to keep him in while visiting?

I'd hate for you to never visit your sister just because you can't bring your dog. Just visit for short amounts of time then. I love my fur babies but I'd never allow my sister to bring her bulldog over in my home. It has nothing to do with how I feel about my sister, I just don't like bulldogs. :)

I wouldn't take it personally.

Some people just don't have much experience with dogs and I am sure that he probably didn't even know better.

Oh....I would let that one roll off my back...its apparent he simply views dogs in a different manner than you. After all...he tied his own Lab outside...he probably never thought of it as insulting!


Psst....he doesn't know that our Yorkies have "little people" inside.....:)




Francie

Until I got Sissy, I would never have even thought to ask to bring my baby with me. Now, I don't like to leave her if I can help it, but there are just situations where that isn't going to be the case. With my feelings for Sissy, I would gladly now open my home to others with a smaller baby. But I still wouldn't welcome a bigger dog completely. I think it is much easier to welcome a little one as they don't knock things over with tails, don't slobber on stuff, and most of the time don't shed.

I am exactly the same way!

I went through a similar situation last week. My friend invited a group of us over to her house for dinner on Friday night. I told her that I was getting the new pup and that I should be home. She offered that I could come if I would tie the dogs up in the back. I said, thanks but no thanks. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to tie my dogs up in the back yard, especially when I just got one of them that day. Some people...

Consioder the source, obviously the guy can't distinguish one dog from another. But I wouldn't let it come between me and my sister.

Many people do not understand what the fuss is over a yorkie, or any small dog for that matter, to them it is just another dog.

I'd ask her if she minded if I brought a playpen for him. She might fall head over heels in love with him.

I would definitely talk to your sister about it. Maybe BIL was just upset because he'd lost his dog...some men have a problem expressing grief. I don't see why Buddy couldn't just stay in the guest room with you since the other dog had the run of the house. I couldn't believe he expected you to tie Buddy outside...for one thing he could be stolen since they don't have a real backyard and the main thing is it's down right cruel.:eek: Also,I know I would be upset if one of my relatives referred to Ziggy as an "It."

I would just ask your sister if you can atleast bring the dog inside...but I really don't think this is any reason to be mad at your brother in law. Some people really don't care to have other dogs in there house besides there own.

I would deffinatley say something to your sister, you have a right to be hurt by what her husband said. But maybe he is jealous that you still have your baby and is grieving for his lab. Or then again he probably doesnt know that you have to treat a small dog differently from a large dog, and thought tying him up outside would be fine.:)

i would say something about it i hate when people act like my dogs are nasty when i know their not

I understand you’re upset; I would be. But, if he tied up his own dog in the back yard, I can see how he would think this is acceptable…unless he knows better and is just being a turd…it’s how to say without knowing the guy. I wouldn’t let it get in between you and your sister though. She might not even know about it.

My brother is exactly the same way. When I go over he suggests I put her in the back yard, which isn’t landscaped yet and has a questionable fence. I’d rather leave her in the car (not in the heat of course). He doesn’t mean to be rude, but sometimes I wonder…:mad:

I would talk to your sister and see how she feels, but some people just don't like animals in the house..My mother who lives about 6 acres away from me(we have 25 acres) always closes her garage door when she see me walk the dogs, and too if I have been playing with them and smell like them I am not allowed in her house...Max my GSD my stink after being outside for awhile, but Lexie & Peanut smell better than anybody they are cleaner than most people, but she is set in her ways, I just don't pay any attention to her, I just walk by and not even look up when I am walking the dogs...:D It's hard when its your family, follow your heart & what makes you happy....:aimeeyork

That makes three of us!! Love me, love my Toto! My BIL isn't necessarily a dog lover, but we have been "family" long enough that he knows my pet goes wherever I go or I simply don't go! :rolleyes: My sister is an animal lover just like I am .... we were raised by the same parents [animal lovers all]! He just doesn't "allow" her to have an inside dog! She is hysterically funny and always tells him "when you die, I'm going to buy me two, one for each arm and they will sleep on your pillow!! :p

Seriously, anyone who doesn't "approve" of our devotion to Toto is welcome [grrrrrrr] to visit us at our home but if Toto isn't welcome at their home, we simply do not go. We aren't angry about it, it's just a fact .... BTW .... I have a framed picture of Toto to greet them which says the following: "Toto lives here, you don't! ..... etc., etc., I'm sure you have all read this ..." ;)

The way a lot of people on here feel about their yorkie, and/or small dog is the same way that a lot of bigger dog owners feel about them...so I wouldnt just say it's a "fuss over small dogs"...I know I dont favor my smaller dog over my bigger one, and vice versa...their both my babies :) Theres really no difference when it comes to loving them.

I have to agree with both sides of the story... if someone doesnt like my dogs, I will choose not to go to their home. it is their right not to want them inside but also my right to stay home! if someone is invited to my home, the KNOW I have 4 dogs(and a cat). Some people dont like my pups but they also know that I have them when the choose to be at my house. My mom always wants me to lock them up and I WONT.... dont love my pups, stay home... LOL

First of all the way I look at it is We are being invited to someone else's HOME. As an invited guest, I feel we are not in a position to make demands or ask for exceptions. If they say our furbabies are welcome but only if they are to be kept outside, then we need to make a choice to go without our furbabies or nicely decline the invitation.

Since your situation is with your sister & her husband, I definitely would talk to her and see if she knows how her husband feels about the possiblitly of allowing your pup in the home. If she says he is ok with it, talk to him and thank him for making an exception. When you do go for a visit, be extra deligent about keeping your pup out of trouble, crate or play pen him if you can to make the visit pleasent for everyone. If your brother-in-law is firm about the outside thing than you need to accept his wishes and make the decision to go with out your furbaby or to stay home all together. I'm sure you don't want your sister feeling uncomfortable and put her in a difficult position of having to choose between pleasing you or pleasing your husband.

I sound like "Miss Manners"! Sorry!

My next door neighbor said the same thing to me!!!!!!!!! "Why don't you get one of those stakes in the ground, and tie her outside like I do with my dog (she has a lab)?" :eek: I said, "Yorkies don't get chained outside to stakes!" That shut her arse up!!! What nerve of that beeotch to tell me to chain up my dog. :mad:

Now, as for your brother-in-law. Don't take it out on your sis for not visiting. Maybe visit, and leave your dog home. My sister's boyfriend doesn't like when my dog comes over, but my sister loves Baby, so she tells him too bad!!! LOL :animal36

Everyone who knows me knows that Gus goes everywhere with me. My family is pretty good about it. One time my cousins husband hurt my feelings. I took Gus to their house for a birthday party (with permission from her of course) I don't get to see this cousin too often and since she got married I had never been to their place and really didn't know him too well. So anyway, when he seen Gus in his bag he told me to keep my rat in the bag and to keep him out of the house. I was so pissed I was ready to leave when my cousin seen me ready to cry, She turned to her husband and socked him and told him,,,,, "That dog is cleaner and behaves better then you ever will!" He was only joking with me and since he is kinda new to the family and I did not know his sense of humor. He came to apologized and told me that I was fresh meat and he couldn't help himself.

Maybe your brother in law was doing the same thing. They know how we feel about your little ones and they like to poke fun. I really think you should talk to your sister about it.