Problem--Need advice
 

Ok...here goes. As some of you may know I have been wanting to get a female dog for a companion for Lucky (not for breeding, pet only) & had planned on waiting until March because I was going out of town for awhile to visit my parents. Well....I came across a great buy on a female dog from a friend that can't keep her. She is half the price that I had planned on spending, so I like that! :p And she is very cute & registered with the ACA & has all her shots including rabies. She is 5 months old (born Aug 22nd).

Here's the problem. My mom was ok w/ me bringing 1 dog, myself, & my child to her house, but know that I told her I might be bringing another dog she is kinda pissed. She is more frustrated because she already has 3 cats & 1 dog in her house. She just doesn't want it to be chaotic & just wants to spend time w/ me & her granddaughter & not worry about animals. So I don't know what to do because I don't want to upset my mom. She told me it was ok if I brought them but the tone of her voice was more strained like I really don't like it but that's the only way she will get to see us, is if I bring the dogs. So I don't know what to do. I don't have anybody here that can watch them while I'm gone so that isn't an option. I just don't want my mom put out w/ me for bringing 2 dogs. Because awhile back when I 1st got Lucky I took him down there & he wasn't potty trained & that upset her alot! Well this time I told her that he would be in belly bands just in case & I would put the female in diapers.

So, does anybody have any suggestions? I really want to get this dog but don't want to upset my mom. The person doesn't want to hold the dog much longer because they need the $, so if I don't act know I won't get her. :(

Sorry so long.

find a good friend you trust and let her keep your new dog until you get back. you could pay your friend as if she was babysitting a child but you won't loose out on this deal :D :thumbup:

Here are some pics of her.

I would love to do that, but I am not from this area, so I don't know anybody! :( And as far as friends where my parents live, the only girl I know that still lives there has 3 labs & 1 boxer, so I don't think she would be able to!

I say get her, as someone that has been there, get her, you will later regret it once you come back..... plus your mom obviously likes animals so she will EVENTUALLY put all anger aside and more than likely fall in love with her... good luck with your decision!

she's a cutie, i wouldn't pass her up. i'm sure someone will help you out ;)

if you grew up in the area your mom lives in then maybe you know some you grew up with will watch her and that way you won't be to far away from her :thumbup:

That's what I'm hoping will happen! :)

I would get her. I agree that you will regret it later if you don't. Mom's always get over it and if you use the diaper then it shouldn't be a problem.

I would not get her. You're mom is doing a lot for you and your child as it is. If I were in your position and I heard a bit of hesitation in my mom's voice, I would respect her wishes...said or unsaid and wait. There will be other chances for you when you're out on your own. You don't want to put your mom in a tough spot and make her resentful in any way. This is just my opinion and what I would do in your shoes. Best of luck.

We are just visiting for a week. I just live almost 4 hours away so we have to stay the night when we go. I don't want to put my mom in a tough spot either, but I just hate to pass up this dog. :(

Well, in that case!!!!! GET HER!!!!! She's a CUTIE! :D

Since she's half the price can you use the extra money you were gonna spend and maybe board her somewhere?

I would get her, she is a cutie. I am sure if you just were open with your mom and explained your delima she would understand. She's your mother!! Mothers always love their children no matter what.

New little one
 

I would get her. Did you send pictures to your Mom ? Do you have a x-pen, Promise your Mom that the little puppy will be confined in it at all times.Maybe she will say OK. :)

I agree you shouldn't visit your mother's house with two dogs. She's probably so excited about seeing you and your daughter that she will begrudgingly put up with your dogs ---but that's not right. It's her house and you should respect that.

How long do you stay at your mom's house?

This is just one of the inconveniences we run into from time to time when we choose to have pets. Goes with the territory.

Looks like you're going to have to find a dog sitter. Start looking!!!!! and Good luck!

Carol Jean

I would totally get her!!! If you trust your friend that is selling her to you and she just needs the money, why don't you pay your friend and ask if she wouldn't mind keeping her an extra week while you went to visit. If not, I would get some kind of playpen that you can put a couple little beds, food and paper on the bottom and choose an area like a spare bedroom or the garage if it's warm and keep them there. Your mom won't even know they're there! I think she would really appreciate that effort and wouldn't think twice about you bringing them the next time. The two little guys will also have all the time in the world to get to know each other!

Wow! Thanks guys for all the replies! I am thinking of getting an xpen & putting them in it most of the time. I just hope they don't bark alot.

luvmymonkies--I don't really know the person that well, sort of like an acquaintence (sp?). I don't know.....I am leaning towards just getting her & trying to get through it. I mean my mom loves Lucky so I would hope she would love the 2nd one.

SnowWa--I am thinking the same thing, but then again I'm thinking its only a week or 2 at a time that we visit which is maybe 2 times a year, 3 at the most.

I have till Monday to decide.

LOL!! :D You have until Monday to decide? I think we all know what your decision will be! :p You know ya want her! Whatever you choose to do, I think you will make the right decision! Good luck!!


......I hope you get her ;) ...lol

I would get her......where are you in Kansas?

I live 20 min SE of Wichita. I have decided to get her! :D :D I pick her up on Feb 11th!!! I'm so excited! :D I thought about it all night & the more I thought about the more I decided I had to get her! Wish me luck guys! And I plan on talking to my mom more about it today to let her know she has my word that the dogs will be on their best behaviors! :p

OK...Just to add my two cents, I thought i would share the comments i got from my mother when we were considering getting our first dog! HEre goes:

I am really concerned about your decision to purchase a dog – If you don’t think you should consider your USA family than perhaps a dog is the way to go ––

Some thoughts for consideration: Think about you and the family trying to come and visit us? I can’t have a dog in this Condo with all the Allergies! (I think you are crazy to consider it for yourself) You will have to get a dog sitter? That would put a layer of difficulty for you to come to see us – We see each other so seldom already – Dad and I are getting older – sure we will be able to come – But the trip is so long. We like to come for more than a few days which makes it hard for us to come often until I retire –- and then it is still “far – far away”

Jeff is your brother – and you will eliminate any possibility of him ever coming to visit you – and if I was him and you decided to buy a dog knowing that he will never be able to visit – I personally would be so hurt! He may not show it but I know he would be! It may be worked around if you live here – but you don’t!

This is not meant for guilt – it is meant to give you my feelings and how it would affect us if you go ahead and buy a dog – Knowing the family history, I personally would feel like your US family was so very low on your priority list of considerations!

Very concerned Mom!

*******
now context--- We live 9 hours away and my brother visits us 2 days a year. Needless to say, we got the dog! We plan on boarding him at the breeder or leaving him with my sister in law. We told her that, but then still got this response:

I am saddened by your decision to purchase a dog – Jeff would never tell you how he really feels – Of course he is also saddened to think he can’t come to your house any longer – but he would never let you know because he doesn’t want it to be him standing in the way. Yes he can stay at a hotel but He may not even be able come over to hang out in your house– So we would have to hang out at the hotel.

I understand that a dog may be important to your family – but you live 9 hours away – and it does complicate any future visits = here or there!

I pray I am wrong and it will not change or damage the relationship between you and your US Family –

Sad Mom

***************
My response back over the phone and again in email:

We are sorry that you’re saddened by our decision to get a dog. We are not doing this to try to distance ourselves further away from you guys. We love you all very much and we cherish and look forward to all the great times that we can and will spend together.

Having a dog (by the way, his name is snickers and he is a very cute 6 week old yorkie) will certainly create some changes. Sure, when we come visit you, we will have to board him or have Debbie’s kids take care of him. Pet owners do that all the time. And when Jeff visits 3 or 4 nights a year, they can stay at a nearby hotel. In our opinion, our family having a dog should not impact quality family time. Everything will be ok.

By the way, Snickers will be joining our family in early January. Ben is very excited and has really taken a keen interest in all that is involved in taking care of a new puppy. He can’t wait to share in all his new experiences with his grand parents both in Canada and the USA.

Don’t be Sad!
We love you!

Wow! I'm sorry to hear your mom act like that! My family didn't act like that about it, because I already have a dog & they love him. Its just the fact of adding another one & my mom already has 4 animals in her house. My mom was just afraid of another dog adding more chaos & her not being able to spend quality time w/ us. But I think it will work out fine for us because I'm going to buy an xpen for them to stay in alot while we are there. :) Good luck w/ your mom & brother though!

xpen works great. I also bring snickers crate when i go to my mother in law. Your are right it is hectic. I just thought her response was actually comical!

I live in Fort Worth which 4 hours away from my mom in Houston, and if I go down for the day (or one night) I don't take Rocky. And man does she give ____about it. Heck she gives alot of grief I don't have my stepdaughter with me either. My mom has two dogs, plus my sis is usually over with her dog, and then I bring mine. Let me tell you, it is chaotic! If it starts getting out of control or we need a break, we just crate them. Good luck with your decision and I hope everything works out. BTW the new pup is really cute!!!!!

Is there a boarding place where your mom lives that you know well enough to leave your pets there, at least you can be close to them and go see them even take them out for the day. I already had two dogs when I got Nelly, my mom watched the other two before when we went on trips. My family and friends all thought I was crazy to get another one but they all love Nelly to pieces, my dad which is usually not fond of dogs, wants to get one like Nelly because he loves how she does tricks and thinks she is just adorable.

I had thought about that, but I just hate leaving them in places like that. The last time I left a dog in a boarding place, he got kennel cough. And yes, he was vaccinated for it before I had left him, but I guess that didn't work well enough.

Maybe you could board them... your vet could recommend some place... (maybe your vet's office even boards.... mine does).... or board them somewhere close to where your mom is... so you can still visit them... and your mom will be happy (and not so stressed with too many animals being around)...

Good luck with whatever you choose to do. :)

Gee, it would be nice if I read all the responses....

How about this... Buy the new dog and ask the breeder to hold until you get back from your trip (???)

I think you should get her for sure...and I would look into a day care type thing while you are there...that way they are not caged all day and get to interactive and you still have some good quality time with your mom!! We are going to visit family and want to take the girl and have just been looking into putting them in day care during the day, that way we are still with them at night, but we can have some time with the family without the craziness of the girls!! Just a thought...