My precious angel is gone
 

I lost my precious baby angel this morning to severe trachea collapse. As some of you know from following my previous thread from 2 weeks ago, he had a bad episode then and was diagnosed as having just an allergic reaction. The vet took an X-ray and even had the specialist look at the film and told me it was not collapsed trachea and that he was too young to be suffering from that. She sent me home with prednisone and robitussin and unfortunately when I called back the next day and told him that he had only improved a little she said to give it more time. I trusted her and by the end of that day he seemed to have recovered. Only prob is that I was told to ween him off the prednisone which was now in hindsight was keeping his trach stable. Also I believe that more damage was done to his trachea that day at the vet as they had intubated him to look down and see the throat. So Monday night he had another episode and I called to speak with the vet who said to up the prednisone dose and watch him. Well he seemed no worse than the last time. She said if his tongue turns blue to bring him to the ER vet. Anyway I decided to go to another vet on Tuesday and they gave him oxygen and again intubated him for X-rays as they couldn't figure out what was happening. It went downhill pretty fast from there. I had to have him transported in a pet ambulance to the ER facility where he was again intubated and finally diagnosed with collapsed lower trachea. He said it was so bad that it went down into the bronchi and not much oxygen at that point was entering the lungs. At this point it was late and I asked them to keep him sedated (propofol) and he was on oxygen for the night. At 2.30 am they called and said he may not make it. I went in immediately and he was stable. He seemed to know I was there (I think) I told him he was my special angel and I wanted him to hold on for a little longer. He closed his eyes tight and he looked peaceful. Well when I went back in the later morning he was bad. His oxygen level was poor and they had heating pads on him and his eyes were glassy. They said we could try and pull the tube out and wake him and see what would happen but in his opinion and in my heart I know that he would have been so scared and he wouldn't be able to breathe on his own. They said there was fluid around the lungs and heart and one side lung looked completely collapsed. I chose not to wake him. I was able to hold my sweet baby while they euthanized him. He went in my arms. He was my little shadow. He was the best most loyal beautiful boy. He was my whole world and heart and I'm so devastated and mad and full of guilt for not trusting my instincts. Some vets don't think that collapsed trachea can happen to young dogs and they don't treat it like a serious degenerative disease. Had I got the second opinion 2 weeks ago maybe he would have been able to live longer with medicine. But they all seem to want to intubate or sedate for X-rays which is damaging too. he was only 4 years old. I wish I had more time with him.

I don't know what to say am lost for words and tears running at the same time - am so sorry for your loss and this happened. You will always carry him in your heart.

I am so sorry my heart is aching for you..... hugs to you

My heart goes out to you. I am very sorry for your loss of your beautiful boy.

You did everything you could for him. Collapsed trachea is a dreadful ailment and often there is nothing that can be done.

He knew he was loved, and you were there for him to make his final journey.

Praying for your comfort and peace.

Rest in peace little one.

Oh my, so very sad. I know about the quilt and second guessing. All of us want to trust the people who went to school to help our little angels. You did everything right for your baby and he knows it. Another precious baby crossing rainbow bridge. Prayers are with you.

Thanks everyone. It's so hard to see all of his things. His bed and toys and not having him waiting for me when I walk in the front door. I feel
Like I will never recover from this loss.

My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry.

Oh, my god. I am crying and my heart is so heavy and tight. I'm thinking of you.

Thanks and I was wrong he was only 3 yrs old not 4.. To have such a severe trachea collapse at this age is most definitely genetic.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know all to well about trachea problems. My Willow who is 11 1/2 yrs old has it. She had a real bad episode 2 weeks ago that scared the crap out of me.

Thank you. You are very lucky to have been able to manage it so well over the years. Early intervention is so important. I truly believe had he had a proper diagnosis 2 weeks ago he would have maybe had a good shot at a normal life. It was cut so short. Only 3 years old💔

So sorry for your loss of your 'shadow'. It must hurt terribly. Condolences go out to you. In time may you feel better, never to forget your sweet boy ever.

Thank you. I'm so sad 💔

I am so very sorry for your loss...it breaks my heart.

My heart just hurts for you.
Sending prayers and hugs!

My heart is breaking for you. So sorry.

My tears fall and my heart breaks for you. When things like this, that are unexpected, happen we tend to blame ourself and run all the "what-ifs" through our minds. Please don't blame yourself as that will keep you from remembering the wonderful time you had with him. You did all you could for your baby. Many hugs to you for your tremendous loss :(

Thank you for your kind words. My poor baby.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure most of us here have gone through this with our babies and know and feel your pain. I am praying for comfort for you.

Thank you. That's why this is such a wonderful forum. Some people don't understand the bond we share with our furbabies. So to be able to share my pain and know that there are people out there that know how I'm feeling and can sympathize with me means so much.

So sorry. I lost a Yorkie last May. I know how devastating it is. Know that when faced with a difficult choice you made the best most selfless decision for him even though it hurt you.

I'm so sorry for you loss as well. I'm so heartbroken.

Oh how painful. I can't imagine what you are going through as Monty is my first Yorkie mix. I don't know what to say and wish I had words to comfort you. The only thing I can think of is a quote I learned a long time ago ...

"Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow" Author Unknown

In sympathy... Lauren

I am so sorry for your loss. I am saying prayers for you. I know your precious little one loved you so much too. :(

I'm sorry for your loss. I wish they could be with us forever.

My heart feels so tight reading your post and tears falling uncontrollably. He knows you did the best you could and will always be your angel and watch over you. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

here is a recent pic of my boy

actually this pic was from about 3 weeks ago after his bath and haircut. my avatar pic is from last sunday.

I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I live with CT every day in my older dog and it is scary and difficult to manage. I dont think you should beat yourself up here. You did the best you could under the circumstances you were dealt. The sedation for xrays isn't damaging but the intubation (when they come off) can be hard on a dog with CT. I have posted about my experiences with the various drugs and how many do not work for him on his profound collapse in the same location as your boy. Hycodan in a very high dose is keeping him alive and in a good state most days. But if he ever struggled to breathe as your dog did, I would have done as you did and let him go. Sometimes this condition cannot be helped. The trachea is collapsed and they breathe through a straw. I'm again very sorry for your loss and please don't second guess your actions, you did all you could do under the terrible circumstances.

Thank you so much. The vet was so sure that it wasn't collapsed trachea. I was so relieved....and then at the end at the vet ER, the doctor said "severe collapsed trachea"....I could hardly breathe...ppl die everyday bc of misdiagnosis from doctors.... The same goes for vets...I should have gotten a second opinion 2 weeks ago.