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She loves him more than me! So.... Penny is my dog, she's 5 and a half months. I bought her, I bought everything for her. Since we got her I've fed her, changed her water, taken her to traing classes, walked her, trained her at home, everything. Se does listen to me and (most of the time) is quite obedient. I suppose I also do the things she doesn't like so much. I'm the one who brushes her, ties her hair, baths her, puts her harness on etc. but, in the last few weeks its become obvious that she would rather cuddle with my fiancé than me. She will choose to sit on his lap, have a cuddle, be lovely and docile with him, but never me. He sometimes feels bad and says 'go to mummy' and puts her on my lap, but she just either gets down or goes back to him. I make every effort to give her cuddles and attention, all her treats. I know this sounds selfish but I don't feel like I'm getting back the love I deserve. Why should be reap the rewards all the time for no effort put in? This probably sounds pathetic, but I just wanted to seeing anyone else has a similar situation? Where are I going wrong? Danni (Penny's very sad mummy) X |
Oh, you're telling my story Danni! (My name's Dani too! :wavey:) Anyway, my little Billi is my world. She's technically my dog, even tho I insust she's ours (my boyfriend and myself). I'm home all day with her, I bathe her, I feed her, I take her places with me, treats and training and lots of playtime. And who does she go apebleep for when he gets home from work? Disneyland Daddy! :rolleyes: She cuddles with him, follows him around (she does me, too, but him more), gives him all kinds of affection and attention that she barely gives to me and I'm like WTH!! :mad: If I get any attention, it's short & to the point and definitely only on her terms. But daddy comes along and it's a different story... I've heard for the longest time that females tend to favor the men in the house and males favor the women and while I'm aware that isn't true in all cases, that's how it's worked out for us. I had to really campaign for Billi for 2 years before my boyfriend would let us get her, so it was disappointing seeing how much they've bonded. Thankfully, we have a little boy coming in December and I'm making extra effort to have that bond with him. To be honest, I do feel like I perpetuated Billi's bond with her dad. I'd get really excited when he gets home and encourage her to be excited to see him. I'm sure that over time, she's taken that to mean "the king is here, yippe!!" Anyway, you're definitely not alone and I totally understand the disappointment. It actually, sorta hurts my feelings a little. I know Billi loves me and I'm sure your little girl loves you too- we're their mommy's, we're irreplaceable, but still. I get how you feel! |
Mine were that way towards My Husband. He feeds them and gives them special attention. So what I did was start treating them, took them for walks, gave them more attention and worked with them on obedience. I would do this when he wasnt home and I had them all to myself and they came around and now give me attention so my advice is to keep doing what your doing |
Aww thank you guys! It's just sad isn't it. I'm trying to make more of a effort at the moment to just cuddle her. Maybe when she's on my lap she associates it with things she doesn't like that much, like I clean up her eyes and brush her on my lap. I'm trying to convince my fiancé to do some more of those things to even it out a bit, maybe he can brush her half the time so it's fairer? It's silly because I know she does love me, she's so good with her tricks and training for me. He struggles to get her to do her tricks for dinner etc, and I often have to step in there. I just want snuggle time with my girl. And Dani you're definitely right. I do 'where's Daddy? Where is he? Go get him!' And my attention if definitely on her terms. Like just now she can and sat next to me, I gave her a little stroke and she ran off and grabbed a toy! She's like a cat with me sometimes. I'm allowed a little stroke and she's all set. Ben can sit on the sofa with her for an hour or more and they'll go to sleep together. Ugh! Jealous yorkie mum! X |
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Good idea with having him start helping with brushing and feeding. Really work with him about training. I think part of why Billi loves her dad so much is that he doesn't really expect anything from her- she doesn't have to "work" for him like she does for me. Which is good for us, that means they respect us, but bad in terms of, well... they have to work for us. I will say it does get better over time, but it'll get easier if you ease your expectations a bit. I started being aloof with Billi- ignoring her when she came to me and she started doing it more... Something you might try. |
I really sulk about it. I know to childish but I can't help it. She's my baby and I spoil her rotten. I think she knows this though, she knows that I'm firm and train and have the respect so she pretty much just used Ben for cuddles when she wants them and limitless playtime, which I do admit I limit. It shouldn't be on her terms and if she doesn't get her way she's a brat, she'll just throw a toy at our feet and bark until we do something. I persevere if I'm busy and tell her off, eventually Ben will give in, sit on the floor and play. Some good ideas there. I will have to implement some sort of plan, especially while she's still young. I think it's still fixable if we both try. I agree about working for me. She gets cuddles and playtime from Ben, he doesn't really tell her off properly. His 'NO's' are half-assed! She must think 'mean mummy' :mad: all the time haha! Isn't it funny how we like to think that we're the boss of the dogs. I bet they know what they do to us and find it hilarious. She rules my life more than I would normally like to admit. But on here, I know all of our babies rule our lives! X |
Aww, well they're our babies, of course they rule our lives a bit! We spend time and money finding the right pup for us and yours is still very much a baby so she's definitely "fixable" in that respect. Oh and they totally know that they rule us, these cuties are smart as can be and know how cute we think they are. Billi is a definite stinker there- she knows she's adorable and knows when to use it against us, LOL! Work with Ben about his firmness. It's for everyone's benefit anyway if he does. He'll just get frustrated if she doesn't mind him because he's not being firm enough. It's like with a kid- they're so cute, but they do rely on us for discipline... |
I so understand your feelings. My boyfriend is a animal magnet all animals seem to love him and I was worried when I brought Buster home that he would love Jack more than me. Buster is my first dog and I wanted him to be bonded to me first and Jack second. I had Behaviorist/trainer come to my house because of other issues and I asked him when Jack was not there (I did not want to hurt his feelings and I didn't want him to know either) and asked the trainer if there was anything I could do to make Buster bond with me more. He said to spit in Buster's food. My memory is a bit vague of the exact reasoning but it's something like the baby animal usually licks the mother's face to say they are hungry or to get morsels of food and if you spit in their food it is like feeding the baby by mouth??? So for a while I would spit in Buster's food and it worked. Buster will go back and forth but mama wins. I went through the same sadness when he was not favoring me...I knew it was childish but I still wanted to be the most special one to him. |
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:eek: Ok, so confession time, you guys... Billi and my boyfriend will kiss for days, right and I asked him "wth how does she kiss you for so long, it's like you guys are making out!" And he told me when Billi is licking his lips, he like, spits a little bit so she'll lick it up. OMG I wonder if that's why they're so bonded??!! I'm totally serious, I'm going to start spitting on Billi. I'm gonna do it right now. BRB! |
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and it worked. Let the Spit begin:eek: :p |
As a guy who was "won over" by a Yorkie. Think of it this way, if your husband or boyfriend loves your dog and treats him well, everybody wins. My wife was a little jealous about our girls obsession with me and now we have two dogs. So you are definitely not alone. I know a bunch of guys who would never even think of having a Yorkie, but once they lived with one they can't imagine not living with a Yorkie. If your guy treats you well and your dog well, he is probably a pretty good guy. That is something many women would be jealous of. |
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lol!!!!! to the OP - Until recently, I was working full time and each day I came home my dog greeted me like a war hero. Now, I've been home full time for the last three weeks (from tomorrow) and he only greets my husband this way! It may be that your baby is used to seeing you so that excitement isn't there as it is replaced by contentment and security within your continued presence. That's how I'm viewing the behavior, otherwise, I might be jealous, too! |
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You might count your blessings rather than feeling down. I've read where male pups that bond with the woman SOMETIMES develop an aggressive attitude towards the man. That would be a worse situation. Gucci had a little of that when we first received him. |
My 13 year old boy is obsessed with my sister... The funny thing is that she doesn't even live with us (we are both grown and have our own homes). She comes around on the weekends and he won't leave her side. She even takes him once in a while for a sleepover at her house. Funny though how I'm the one that walks him and feeds him and baths him...he does like coming home at least and gets very excited to see me but still not the same level of excitement he gives her! I joke that they are soul mates :) |
1 Attachment(s) I have the same issues.....kinda. I am not sure how my baby knows it's Friday but she is a totally different puppy on the weekends. Monday through Thursday she is MY baby!! She is my shadow all day everyday. On Fridays she starts pulling away.....come 5pm on Friday night's, she is daddy's girl till Monday morning! It melts my heart that she loves him and even more that he loves her. Yes, I get jealous but I think what it would be like if he did not like her. She is only 12 weeks old and she may grow out of this but I hope not! Its pretty cute watching he man I love more than anything in the world loving her. And to see a hard core MAN carrying around a 2 pound fluff ball is super sexy to me. And that fluff ball is extra cute poking her head out of his truck all weekend. :p |
Swan and Mark I do count my blessing having two great men in my life. I would be devastated if Jack and Buster did not get along. Luckily Buster has enough love to share and work us for extra treats and belly rubs. |
Bailey loves Natalie and me. But he loves her more. I'm fine with it. When Natalie is out and about, Bailey stays with me in my office. At night he generally sits next to her in the den. And at bedtime, he sleeps right next to her. No biggie. I know he loves me. |
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She tolerates me brushing her hair and teeth etc. But when she's done she's goes to her daddy and play and cuddle him. That is until I give her the sad puppy face... it's almost like a trick she does |
I do understand how you feel. I use to feel a bit jealous ( as weird as that may be) that when ever my hubby or daughter or son- in law ( anyone but me) came home both of my babies would get so excited, but when I come home, not as much. they did if I was gone a long time, but still not like with them. but then I realized what it was. I am home with them pretty much 24/7. Its not often I go anywhere and when I do its just quick trips, like to the grocery store or something. They see me ALL OF THE TIME. but with the other members of my family its different. they work all day, or are off doing other things. and even when they are home, they are often in their bedrooms with the doors shut and the pups cant get to them. They dont see them and get to be with them even half the amount they do me. So its only natural they would be more excited to see them when they do and want to be with them. Its not that my pups like them better or love them more. Its simply that they love my family members as well as me, but dont get the chance to be with them like they do me. For lack of a better way to say it, seeing mom is nothing new, seeing the other family members is. I know its hard not to feel a little hurt, but, the fact that you are feeling that way can only make things worse IMO. Your baby can likely sense that. My suggestion is to try to relax and not let it bother you so much. You may find that is the key to your baby coming back to you so to speak. |
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No really I feel your pain. It maybe because you DO everything for her and spending time with her "daddy" is a treat. Hummm that doesn't sound very logical does it? |
My Phoebe was like that for awhile, in fact she would actually run away from me! I think it was because I did all the "bad stuff" to her (bathing, brushing, meds, eye drops after surgery etc). She has now come to realize that the "bad stuff" isn't sooo bad after all. What helped us REALLY bond was our 2x daily training sessions. She absolutely LOVES them. I make a point of taking each pup upstairs (alone) 2x daily for a 5-10 minute training sessions. We work on the basics, sit, stay, down, paw, rollover etc. She gets so excited to "go upstairs", that she watches me like a hawk. She follows me everywhere to make sure she doesn't miss a trip upstairs lol. |
I'm new here and I have the same problem. I have always had gun dogs and then we had a mostly border collie that someone dumped. We put our chocolate lab Joe down in May. We watched my wife's sisters yorkie while they went on vacation and then they decided they couldn't keep her. My wife wanted her and I said no I don't want any dog right now. We lost all three of our dogs in three years. One a year due to age. First time we haven't had a dog in our lives. Anyway, my wife wanted this dog very much. We took her and the dog attached itself to me. If I am around, it won't have anything to do with my wife. She has cried her eyes out over this. If I am not around, it's fine. The second I come home, the dog is at my side and it is killing my wife. |
Thanks for all your replies! I'm glad I'm not the only one that struggles with this. Just a little update, we have tried swapping around and balancing good and bad things with her. Obviously I still do most of them, but Ben has given brushing her a go a few times and at the park and at home I've been trying to play with her more and be the one to throw the ball. I think she still loves daddy more right now but I have noticed an improvement over the last week. My mood helped too I think. Obviously I was annoyed and I think she knew, so I've tried to be extra happy and playful and fun around her and she actually picked me to sit next to last night! Curled up next to me like we were spooning! Cutest. Made me feel good too that it was me and not Ben! Xx |
Boy has this ever been the case at our house! Our Cozy was my idea, my puppy, my sweetie----husband had NO interest in even getting a dog, let alone bonding with one. Well, about 6 months after we got her (she's 14 now) he had some minor surgery that kept him home for a couple of weeks while I worked, and they bonded in a very big way---so for the last 13 1/2 years she's been HIS. I can be gone for days and come home and she's like "oh, hey, did you go somewhere?" But he walks out to check the mail and when he comes back in it's like Johnny's come home from the war!!! When Cozy was 2, we got Peanut and he was always more mine. Followed me around, cuddled with me, slept on my head:rolleyes:. We recently lost Peanut which has left a giant hole in my life---so heading to pick up my new little BOY this weekend. I'd rather have Peanut back but since that's not an option I'll pour all this free-floating affection onto a new puppy. Incidentally, I absolutely love YT -- so happy I found it. And although I haven't posted a lot am absolutely addicted to reading through the posts. Have learned so much and appreciate the (mostly by far) kindness and compassion of you all. |
lol We make jokes in our house about this subject... Guinness is a HUGE mama's boy, he might cuddle or hang out with whoever is home BUT as soon as I walk in the door he is up my butt... now Stella could care less if I ever came home I think but she stays right up my boyfriends butt lol I think in the two years I have had her she might has cuddled with me twice and that is only because she was trying to get me to share ice cream :p |
I have come to love this little mutt but she is the most needy dog I have ever owned. She is also the most affectionate , playful dog I have ever owned. If my wife comes home before me, she acts disappointed. When I come home she is so excited that I make sure I am in the kitchen because when I pick her up, she pees every time. Someone told me it was a sign of submission. http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d1...psep9frdde.jpg |
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Rosco's niece was my parent's dog, and she was absolutely attached to my dad. Now they have a male and he cannot get enough of my mom. Between all of my family we've owned a dozen dogs and while there are exceptions, it does seem the gender rule still stands most of the time. |
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