I'm getting the 'Cold Shoulder'
 

A month or so back Crystal started her 1st season and just before this occurrence I had a spinal operation, that has still left me unable to walk very far.

The joint effect of these events has led her to cling to my wife, to the extent that she no longer sits with - or shows any prolonged interest in me, unless I bribe her with treats.

A strange reaction and I've comforted myself by designating this change to hormonal influences?

Someone I met recently, who has owned 4 Yorkies over his lifetime admitted similar circumstances with one of his ladies too. He tried deliberately ignoring her, which whilst it worked, led him to a lasting feeling of subsidiarity.

Consequently, they (older couple) added a miniature Dachsund puppy to the family, which is now firmly 'Dad's girl and they all live in harmony, after initial collisions!

My wife will shortly be visiting her native country for three weeks and Crystal will be forced to rely on Dad again. Has anyone else experienced this altered selective behavior, or could help with a plan to return relationships to normal?:justahug:

I'd give her a bit more time... heats can affect them for 2-3 months. Hope you're feeling better soon...

Maybe you need to get yourself a dog. That will show her! :D

I'm sure while your wife is away Crystal will turn around. Do you feed her and still take her on her walks? Even if you could just leash her up and go sit outside on a bench or chair alone with her.

I feed her breakfast every day and always share my tea and biccies with her in the afternoons. I did struggle to take her about 200 yards yesterday, but it's too much for me again just at the moment I regret. So far today we've not conversed and Crystal's now sat in Irina's room as she's out shopping. I'm definitely 'persona non grata'. I could make it to a seat near home on the sea front, but I just don't think she's interested any more?:(

We had a wonderful TV series on Battersea Dog's Home here which finished last night and when I can drive again maybe I'll go have a look and see if there's a little soul (puppy this time) needing love and help?

(Mommie must have better treats!)

My wife never gives her any - their ALL from Dad!

:eek: Martin! Martin! NOOOOO!!!!! This cannot be happening to you....

You are just the best daddy ever - Harry WILL NOT stand for this!!!! :(

I'm not sure if this will give you any comfort - but 'Andys weekend' is Sunday/Monday. When he goes back to work on Tuesday mornings, Harry doesn't actually forgive him until Thursday-night-ish, EVERY week? :eek:

Oh, and by the way, I was born and bred in Battersea - the Dogs Home was one of our weekend go-to visits when I was a little girl....I think your heart might be wrenched, and you might come home with a couple of dozen....;) :) Sally x

By the way - never, EVER look on Battersea Dogs & Cats Home, rehoming dogs and cats, promoting responsible pet ownership - Battersea Dogs & Cats Home .....:rolleyes: :D ;) Sally x

Hello Sal,

Apparently Crystal goes on my bed whenever I'm away and frets big time, until I return. Certainly the greeting is ecstatic, but this past week I'm on the reject list and she's not been in to see me in the evenings for about a month now.

My heart went out to those poor little abandoned pups that upset Paul o' Grady so much on 'For the love of Dogs'. Especially the two little souls that eventually lost the fight for life. I just don't know whats up with Crystal, maybe I've spoiled her too much, perhaps her 1st season etc?

Anyway, my closest friend's mother was a breed champion at Crufts with miniature Dachshunds and although at 75 she's now given up, she still acts as a regional foster mother for a re-homing centre. I remember her last Champion really well and indeed had him to live with me 16 years ago, when they visited Lou's family in Virginia for a month. We got on really well and he was a delightful little fella - loved the car too as I recall.

Presently she's got a 14 week old long haired pup, whom she's nursed, after her mother died three days after giving birth. She's thinking of keeping her, but said this afternoon come and meet her, she'll melt your heart! They live in Brandon Suffolk about two hours away so I'll have a look in on the weekend?

To be fair to Crystal, we have been talking about another dog for a few months now anyway and nearly took on a year old Yorkie bitch from the Toy Breed Rescue centre a few weeks ago, but were beaten to it on that occasion.

:) Suffolk sounds like a plan - a quick turn on the Broads en route - are you able to drive there ok? Just wondering how/if I can help....:) Sally x

Thanks Sal, your very kind. I can drive fine and also now get to the car and after a while extricate myself too. The spines getting better every day now as well. It's a joy to have movement again. They used to have a beautiful boat on the broads at Oulton (36 footer) that they shared with their son, where we shared many happy times...

Since dogs recognize us mostly by our scent, the odd scents of the hospital and things you came in contact with, your obvious discomfort and the way you changed your lifestyle for a while after surgery, the stopping your frequent walks with her likely made her wary of you and think you changed somehow toward her(everything is our fault to them) and the different scents from the surgical suite and hospital perhaps reminded her of something bad in her past. If you have materially changed in your habits or actions due to surgery, she could be taking that personally. Then, her estrus hits her system and she's further thrown off kilter.

I believe I would try a test - just quietly cover myself with treats and sit in the recliner and ask your wife to put her down on you and see what happens. If she eats all the treats and comes back to check and see if more are there, she's likely going to be okay. If she jumps down immediately and runs off, that will tell us that she still senses something very different about you. And if she does eat all the treats during your test, you could sit with the her dinner and hand-feed her her breakfast and dinner for a couple of days, just to show her you are there for her.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

A few year ago my partner came home a bit tipsy after going to a friends party. Our dog Molly didn't look at the time as if anything was wrong but after this event if my partner went out and even just had one drink, Molly would ignore her and stick to me. It lasted a few months before normality returned. Don't know why all this happened it stopped as quick as it started and went back to going mental and licking your face off when you got home.
It was deffo the cold shoulder and probally cos it was the only time she saw her mum tipsy. Didn't bother me cos I got all the attention hahaa

This is what I was thinking. An alteration in scent, in gait, in routine--and then she was feeling out-of-sorts herself on top of it all. She's not sure what is positively correlated with what. She needs reassurance and patience, certainly, and she may feel less wary (or clingy) once you're feeling and acting more like the daddy she'd known before the strange events in your lives.

P.S. Heal well and quickly!

Try apologizing to her. Just tell her you are so sorry and it (whatever it is) will never happen again! Did you stay overnight in the hospital? If yes, maybe that confused her. You may never figure out what's wrong, but a sincere, heartfelt apology could turn things around.

Be the giver of all good things food treats and walks and she will come around

Thank you all, your help is as always so valuable. I tried a bit of reverse psychology. All yesterday I avoided her, particularly making eye contact, (very, very hard for me, as she truly is beautiful to behold).

Around 11pm last night she came to my room and snuggled into my back (a usual stance) as I watched the TV. I paid no attention to this approach. Around 3am when I'd finished reading, she got up as I 'put the room to sleep'. I lifted her up (really dozy and with that delicious smell) gave her a big hug and she drifted off to Irina's. As I put the lights out, she paused to give me a long quizzical 'over the shoulder' look. This morning on return from her morning scamper with mom on the beach, I was greeted with a full stomach roll and loads of kisses.

I then fed her breakfast in the normal way, polished off with a few hand held treats. One thing that may have affected her is the prolonged time I have been spending at my computer completing a mathematical project recently? With a deadline looming, I was sat here for many hours and she tends to go to her bed and sleep, so we may have drifted apart a little that way maybe?

Despite being spoiled by both of us, she never reacts precociously. Perhaps amidst hormonal interference she was challenging my 'pack leader' status and needed a gentle reminder over the pack order?

Whatever the reasoning, she's better. I'm going to take her out this afternoon and as 'Margaretville' mentioned sit with her on a bench a few hundred yards from home, at least we're together. Best I can do until the lumbar implants settle and the swelling lessens, when hopefully I can be with her more actively.

I love this little dog, more than any creature I've shared my life with and was beginning to despair...

Oh yay! So happy she's getting back to her normal, lovable little self!

Thanks, aren't they wonderful! She spent 3 hours with me this afternoon, sleeping with her chin and front paws on my right hand. I didn't have the heart to move her and consequently ended up with the cramps big time. Funny little soul:)...

Daddies usually know just what to do to win their girls back again. Sounds as if all the trouble is past and Miss Crystal and her daddy are back together again! Sweet success.

Looks like it - spent many hours with me yesterday and seems to have mainly reverted to her 'pre-season' self.

A problem looms however. She has really taken to mom's hourly walks 'off lead' each morning. Now she has 'tunnel vision' for the door after 'wake up' and when my wife starts to get ready for the off, she goes into full four legged laminate treadmill mode, urging Irina to 'get to it'.

For me the trouble will be when Mom's away for a month starting next week and I can't physically fulfill this enjoyment. I'm also nervous to release her from the 22 yard spool lead. She once bolted from me on the beach when she was 7 months, following a bin truck scaring her badly. I was unable to arrest the charge and only a fast thinking chap managed to catch her for me. I swore I'd never risk it again.

I could try new pastures via the car (woods & heathland), which may help, but I won't have the range of mom!

hello there, just reading your thread now, I agree with other members,her separation from you "could" have been from scary unfamiliar medicine smells emitting from you, changing your scent. Dogs as you know have a keen sense of smell, and her coming into season could be a factor in this also. Happy to see she is starting to be her lil "daddy's little girl"again. As for off the leash walks, in your condition, IMO I don't think that's a good idea now, you had one experience and I am sure it was horrifying. I once had a 7 month old escape from my yard and she took off into the woods, the more I chased after her the faster she ran, so I stopped in my tracks, found a branch, caught her attention, threw the branch (her favorite game was fetch) she turned around to get the branch and I was able to get her, the experience for me was over whelming, I thought I would loose her for ever, she was such a "wild thing" (now pasted). So I know how you felt the time she got away from you. As I have written, off the leash in your condition I do not think is a wise choice. Give yourself time to fully heal before you do any off the leash walks. good luck while your wife is off on holiday.

A more definite scenario seems to be developing. Crystal comes into me around 10/11pm for a few hours and thats very much it. Gone are the times where once she used to paw at my door eagerly in the morning for entry - now silence. When her mom's out she just sleeps on her bed, never seeks me out as she once did.

I suppose in contrast I'm pretty boring just now, but my future portability may not be greatly improved I've been told this morning. My wife and I have discussed this and definitely feel I should get a breed more suited to my change of circumstance, where a more spiritual and less complicated companion would be better? I'm also going to get a House-boat on the Norfolk Broads. As my wife can't stand water, it seems a companion each would suit for a changing environ at least in the summer and week-end breaks.

I've tried very hard with Crystal, perhaps too hard who knows, but maybe events will provide a natural solution for us all.

So I'm off this afternoon to familiarize myself with the long haired mini dachshund I referred to earlier - and this time I'm seeking a boy...

Thanks everyone for your help and comments

Martin:wilted_ro

wow, so sorry to hear Crystal still hasn't come around, I can understand how rejected you must feel. Long haired dachshund's are beautiful a breed, I think you will be happy with him, he'll make a great lil companion when you start going on your house boat. What a great life for a little boy. Please keep us posted, and good luck .

I've found that outings of any kind/location have a very cohesive effect on the Pack. Our guys really like the "togetherness" put together with the "go".

Took her out this afternoon, we went about half a mile each way and stopped at our usual little shelter on the sea-front. She was up on the bench next to me immediately and was very affectionate. Back home she's also paying attention again. Her mood change could be down to my being physically unable to have these little strolls recently? Perhaps they have meant a lot to her and in excess of what I'd imagined? Although not so long, or rigorous as her Mom's morning workouts; it could be she's missed these little sojourns and chats more than I'd appreciated? Maybe the first heat's still having effect. Five weeks since she first showed and her little teats and vulva are still quite swollen?

Remember, terriers take everything so personally and the fact that you changed, that weren't keeping up your old schedule, your sudden, odd hospital smells, your pain and discomfort that she obviously sensed as a weakness, your relative inactivity, her heat cycle and your wife being there to fill in all probably conspired to cause her to re-think her place in the pack and who she owed her best allegiances to for the time being. Dogs always look out for themselves and go with the flow that's flowing, if you get my drift! lol. She moved away from you perhaps thinking you had withdrawn and weren't her bestie anymore while your wife was taking her for long, off-leash "freedom" walks and she naturally gravitated toward her. But this girl obviously loves her daddy and is always going to.

Sounds like a typical terrier reaction to changes in her daily life. My sister told me she went to the doctor two weeks back and was gone a great portion of the day and when she came home, her Westie-Schnauzer mix terrier wouldn't greet her, didn't eat dinner, avoided her the rest of the day and slept in the den that night instead of in the bed next to her as he usually does. The next morning, he wolfed down his food but still avoided her for the rest of that day. It was the third day before he was "her dog" and back to normal again.

May have a partial answer today? I went for an MRI scan early this morning and the removal of a small plaster I had over the entry point of the keyhole op from three weeks ago (I'd forgotten this alien object, which had to stay in place anyway).

Crystal had apparently been in a right old state as I'd been gone four hours and all that time she'd sat by the elevator (only my wife and I can access this story by car-key). Whine-barking quite pitifully when the elevator kept stopping 1 floor down.

When I arrived there was an explosion of a welcome, with accompanying minor pee pees! I immediately had a shower to get rid of the 'hospital smell'.

She then came to me straight away, got down inside the freshly laundered bed and hasn't moved since! We're then off for a little half mile stroll this evening, when all the kids have gone home!

Amazing that as you said Jeanie, such a small collective of what to me are minor events, can attain such exponential significance in 'Yorkieland'.

I went yesterday to see the little 'Daschie' I'd referred to in earlier posts here. She is nearly 7 weeks old weighs just under 1.7kg and is a long haired mid brown miniature version. Absolutely beautiful to behold and I fell in love with her straight off - but then I tend to with all dogs and they definitely seem to know it! This little girl was hand raised when her mom couldn't produce enough milk for her 5 babies and my friend has fostered her. The breeder is a life-long friend of this lovely lady, herself a past winner at Crufts.

I've agreed to pop in now and then to see her progress over the next few weeks and have first refusal on this little 'bubba'. My only reservation is to how Crystal might react to another dog at home?:confused:

Honestly, this all sounds pretty normal for terriers and how they can react to what is going on around them vs. their perceptions of the same and how they are so personally affected by it all - the reality vs. their ideas about it all.

It's so hard to read some dogs for how they will accept another dog but if she is friendly with other dogs when out and about or you have visitor dogs, she will likely accept another dog into the home. If she is stand offish and doesn't enjoy other dogs, there could be a problem. My Jilly just hated other dogs to touch or get the better of her and when she was several years old, I got a puppy which she seemed to enjoy having around - UNTIL Teddy got bigger than she was and began to dominate her 3 lb.-size. Jilly HATED that. When that happened, Jilly took her life to the top of the back of the couch where she lay and observed life passing her by, chewed her ankles, missed meals until she grew thin, refused to play at all and was losing coat alarmingly. Vet exam/tests were all WNL so it was psychological and she responded to none of the things I tried to encourage her that Teddy was not going to hurt her or terrorize her - she thought she knew better. She merely refused all - and I mean I tried all - the dog psychology I knew or others knew about - all techniques for adjusting/accepting another dog like Teddy and continued to lose weight. She merely observed life in a very sad way from the top of the couch back and there she remained as long as Teddy was out of her crate and even when she was in her crate, Jilly's life was sad and depressed, she just crept around acting so sad. She just moped about, knowing soon that little puppy would be out and about and off she'd run to her couch back, to observe life passing her by. She avoided me - she virtually stopped living and of course, I knew what I had to do. At 2.10 oz., she couldn't afford to lose any more weight and was going to possibly just pout/grieve herself to death! I talked to many people about her reaction to this puppy and we tried it all to get her to accept Teddy but very soon, I had to rehome little Teddy for fear of losing my Jilly girl. And the moment Teddy left out of the front door with her new family, Jilly knew what had happened, that her "nightmare" was over, she was instantly down on the floor, happy, playing and immediately affectionate and cosy with me, just as if nothing happened. She resumed her regular life, regained her coat, stopped chewing her ankles obsessively, began eating and was just fine, happy as a clam to have her life back. I knew she didn't care for other dogs and probably never should have tried to bring in another dog, let alone a puppy who was going to grow larger and probably be more dominant than Jilly, who was a tiny diva.

Tibbe on the other hand just ADORES others dogs. He just goes weak in the knees when they come around and plays so happily and merrily with them, ears back, eyes soft, mouth open and dog-laughing, body wiggling, is so super friendly, fears none of them no matter how huge or fierce-looking. He would accept a Teddy type dog in a heartbeat and likely would just flourish having a brother or sister. I think he might never give the poor little thing a moment's rest!

I think you have to consider your current dog before you take on another dog or you could have some problems. Of course, not all dogs are as stubborn and determined as Jilly and most do accept new dogs eventually and Jilly might to if only she hadn't stopped eating and gotten so thin. At her tiny normal weight of just slightly over 3 lbs.(she was the runt of a normal-sized litter with many physical problems), I just couldn't wait any longer once she lost almost a half pound and had to act. You wouldn't be facing anything that critical with Crystal's weight or health and she may very well love having another dog around to play with or adjust far better even if she doesn't like him at first. She's still a young dog and you know her better than anyone and how she'll likely react to living with another dog in the home.