Steve here, Newbie in desperate need of help for my baby boy
 

Hi there everyone,

I hate to even type this, as my heart breaks more and more putting my situation in words. My name is Steve, and I recently opened my heart and home to the most loving, sweetest baby boy - Riley - in October. I flew to Canada to pick him up from a wonderful, well-researched breeder, because I didn't want him to be "delivered" to me at a tender three months old.

This past month, I have been feeling a substantial amount of pain, and having a high threshold for (physical) pain, I am devastated to announce that I have Stage III testicular cancer, and require intense chemotherapy treatments and if my doctors can, surgery, under supervised monitoring, to extend my life. I thought taking care of a new pup, who I have fallen head over heels in love with, would be a wonderful idea to help me relax in my retirement many years after my divorce, but I now find myself in unbearable emotional and physical pain, and have no one to turn to (except you all, who I'm hoping can provide me with guidance).

The past almost four months have been nothing but bliss being Riley's Dad. Looking forward, with all of my treatments ahead, however, I know in my heart I cannot give him the world, as I was previously able to do. I am scared for me, longterm, but in all honesty, I haven't slept in over a week - after my body ran the gauntlet of every medicinal test imaginable - solely focused on Riley, and his well-being. I have also been so incredibly petrified (a 60+ year old man, petrified!) to call our breeder to discuss sending him back to her, as I feel I have failed myself, her trust in me, and of course, Riley, in my now inability to care for him furever.

(I also hate discussing finances, but my financial situation - previously set aside for my new sweet boy after saving for him for over five years - is going to have to used for my own health now. In my breeder-buyer contract, I am allowed to send Riley back - if I am "unhappy" with the pup, or if I can no longer care for him. I am unhappy and disappointed in myself that I can no longer care for him. Also, I don't know how to ask for any funds back, as again, I feel like an overall failure. The breeder has agreed in our contract to try to recoup all funds for the pup (he is beautiful, purebred, and as such, not inexpensive), but again, speaking to her breaks me apart having to be strong and firm, when I truly care about my baby. I have never cared for myself before, always caring for others first, so I don't know how to be firm with her, or even how to begin a conversation. Because I cannot fly, and am terrified to fly him cargo, well with our weather in the NE, US, and the weather in CAN, this winter, again, I do not know what to do.

I was wondering if anyone has had any experience being in a heart-wrenching situation with their pup, how to get myself in a position to actually call the breeder, who I hope will understand (but I can never be sure, which frightens me), knowing that I am most responsible, but am feeling so helpless as each day grows nearer. I want to do what is best for my puppy, which I know means rehoming him to a family who will love and care for him as much as I have, by sending him back to the breeder. Nonetheless, I am heartbroken beyond repair.

I have had animals my whole life, and have never had to do anything of this nature, so I will be eternally grateful for any suggestions you all can provide. I was also wondering if anyone knows of a reputable, caring "courier" service (which can fly with my forever angel in cabin; I can take a taxi to one of our local airports - LGA or JFK), which I can't even picture myself having to hand him over or give him up to anyone, or if there is a good samaritan out there who is reputable, honest, and understanding of the gravity of the situation at hand, who is flying to CAN (where I know my Riley can meet his breeder at the airport directly) from NY, who I can pay (at, of course, hopefully an affordable price) to meet our breeder in Ontario, CAN, directly, so I can ensure Riley's safety. Or any other options I am have not thought of?)

If ANyone out there can help me with this, so that I can properly care for myself - which is not even a thought of mine right now, although all my doctors have told me it must be at this stage of my disease and of my life - but also know that Riley will have the life I was so intent on providing him, I cannot stress how thankful I would be. Bless you all, and I hope someone can guide me through what to do with my treasured angel :(

Many thanks in advance,
Steve

I'm sorry for what you are going through health wise for yourself and I hope you do get some help in transportation if needed. The first thing you have to do is be strong and call the breeder, if you have made up your mind that is the best.

Best of luck to you and your little Yorkie.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I also think you need to call the breeder...trying to figure out what she will say is a waste of energy. Just call and present the situation and see how she reacts. Then, you won't have the "what ifs" ... you will know exactly what you are dealing with.

As for couriers, yes there are some, but I don't know what they charge. Perhaps someone here will have an idea.

Welcome to YT. So sorry it is with such sad circumstances. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

First of all, I can only say I'm sorry to hear of your health problems. I hope your treatments go well and provide you with relief from your pain.


I assume that you don't have any family or close friends who would adopt him, so you could still see him sometimes?

Is it possible to find a local rescue group to work with, instead of sending your little guy back to the breeder? I'm just thinking about the travel and, like you said, the weather at this time of year... and wondering if your pup can find a new home close to you in NY, instead of back in Canada?

I realize that breeders often want ("insist") that pups come back to them if an owner has a change in life situation, but I think the most important thing is finding the little guy a new home as loving and caring as his current home with you, Steve.

Your situation is heartbreaking--I am so sorry you are having to face something like this. Are you absolutely sure you need to find a new home for Riley? He most likely loves you as much as you love him. As a nurse, I have been blessed to see miracles happen when deeply loved and cherished pets are in the picture. I will pray for you and Riley.

Steve, I am so sorry for what you are going though. I wish I could help you but I am in Missouri. Maybe a YorkieTalker could purchase the pup and give him a great home and you wouldn't have to worry about returning him to thr breeder. He sounds like a beautiful little guy. I know your heart is breaking. I will say a prayer for you.

Yes, perhaps the breeder might approve if it was a reputable rescue. You might want to ask her....but I would not do anything without her knowledge since she does care.

If you decide to speak with a rescue group, I highly recommend Yorkies, Inc.

Yorkies Inc. Placement Service

Often this is a part of the contract, and it sounds like this is the case. The contract I signed for both of my Yorkies says that I need the breeder's approval to re-home, even with a relative.

Steve, I am very sorry you are suffering a health crisis and are forced to make difficult decisions about your boy. As others said, call his breeder.

Praying for both of you.

My heart goes out to you on the terrible news of your cancer and now having to rehome your baby. I hope you can find a solution that works out best for you both.

Steve, my heart goes out to you and the choice you have to make. I as a paraplegic questioned whether I could love my Gizmo the way an able bodied person could when I rescued him. I became this way from a failed spinal cord surgery just over 5 years ago. I want to say that it was my drs suggestion I get a physical, as well as emotional support service dog, and after much contemplating, I decided to give it a try. I can honestly say that not only did I never plan to be medically disabled, but I also underestimated what that love of a dog could do for me healing in many different ways. I of course still a paraplegic, but WOW the change in my attitude that has become so positive is incredible. These little fur babies give so much more then we realize, such as I do now. I did not realize how ad I was, until Gizmo showed me how much he could give. At stage 3, you have a very good chance of coming through this good, even though it seems so bleak right now. I know what anger and heartbreak can do to you, and I never realized it till it changed.

I am sure your pup loves you to pieces, and if he's anything like my Gizmo, he could adjust to what you are able to give him, while still keeping your fighting spirit strong. I wonder if its a good thing to let that go. You know when I have a bad day and can't walk much, but just have to lay down because I am in so much pain, my Gizmo seems to understand, and he lies right next to me while I get through it. I guess after this long post, what I'm trying to say, is your pup could be very bennificial to you and your healing, and I would seriously reconsider getting rid of him, because he could end up being just what you need to get through this.

I am giving yu a link to my blog, and it explains what I live through. I haven't updated it in a while, because to me it was a place to put my anger, and I am thankful I am not that angry person anymore. Just please think about it, remember you can't change your mind once its done, and I truly believe you need him as much as he needs you xoxo you will be in my heart and prayers (((HUGS)))

Here is the link to my blog so you can read for yourself, how a pup can change you, and that I am speaking from experience :-) LIVING LIFE WITH CES AFTER FAILED TARLOV SURGERY

Good luck on your treatments and healing, I just know you can do this !!!!! :-)

I am so sorry to hear about your cancer. I agree that you need to try to take care of yourself first, and agree that you need to talk to the breeder and tell her what is going on. I would not try to rehome to anyone without letting her know first. Good luck.

dog
 

Hi Steve! I would get on my knees and ask the Lord for help and guidance in this situation. I would pray for someone to come along side of you and help you out. Many wonderful dog loving people would take and care for your sweet Yorkie while you get treatment. Do not call and give him back. I had cancer and my dogs were my companions. Now you think positively. You will get better. Just have to be in the valley for awhile. Look at Scott the iceskater. Had that cancer treatment and is back on track. You will too. Only God knows the number of your days-call Yorkie rescue. People love Yorkies there and will help you. I am going to pray for you and watch my awesome Savior and Lord Jesus work. He will surround you with love and the help you need.

I am so sorry to hear about your ailments. If you bought your pup from a reputable breeder, I am sure she will want to take the pup back to rehome him...if that's the solution you and her come up with. Try not to beat yourself up too much...you didn't ask to get sick. There are some things that are just out of our control. There are people that come on here all of the time with life changing circumstances looking to rehome their pups. That doesn't make them a bad pet parent. It's quite the opposite actually. You are willing to make the heartbreaking sacrifice of giving up your puppy to ensure he has a quality life that you may not be able to give him, even though it hurts. You are putting his well being first and yours as well, even though it's not the easiest thing to do.

Hopefully, someone will be able to assist you in finding a pet transport company that can help you get Riley safely back to the breeder. Under these special circumstances, perhaps the breeder would be willing to fly in to get him.

I wouldn't feel bad about calling the breeder. If they are a good breeder, they will want to know what's going on with their puppy in their new home and they will want what's best for the pup. I can understand your reluctance to do so though...as calling her will put things in motion and make you giving up Riley that much more of a reality.

Is there any way you could keep Riley?!? What if the breeder agreed to take him back while you went through treatment or you were able to find someone to care for him during that time or even someone to come in and help you care for him during that time. These guys do have the amazing ability to adjust. They can be potty trained to go inside. They can use stairs to climb up on your couch and bed to cuddle....I know one lady uses a claw type grabber to pick up her dogs toys to throw. I totally understand if you feel you need to give your pup back...I know that taking care of a puppy can be a full time job and difficult to do if you aren't feeling good...and it's one more thing to worry about when you've already got a lot on your plate...but I also know that pets,with their unconditional love and companionship, can have the amazing ability to heal and pull people through difficult times.

Just recently there was an episode on Pitbull and Parolees where a young kid, probably in his early 20's, adopted a pit bull puppy. He had terminal brain cancer and he adopted his first pit shortly after finding out. He said he was in a really dark place until he adopted his dog. The dog really helped him get through the tough times and gave him something to get out of bed and live for. The dog was actually shot and killed by a cop right in front of him because the cop had mistakenly thought the dog was aggressive and that's why he was at the rescue adopting a new pit puppy. His story was a great example of the kind of healing power a dog can have. I've heard so many people say after adopting a pet that it was the pet that rescued them. Maybe Riley was put in your life to help you face this life challenge....

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and confidence in me, as I feel like the MOST horrible Dad in the world to my sweet little guy, my Riley. I have only been on this site for a few hours, but all of your responses and suggestions have brought me to tears. And, it is hard for a male to reveal when he is reduced to tears, but I am typing through a haze of them at present. (I did not want to go to sleep without expressing my sincerest gratitude and appreciation for you all. Truly.)

I am in horrific pain physically, but it is my mind - racing about my precious Riley - that is making me the most sick, I believe. Knowing that I am not alone on here makes me feel an ounce better (most family and close friends are either gone, bless their souls, or geographically so incredibly far away).

YorkieTalk is a very special place, clearly.

My brain is running scenarios about my baby boy, Riley - who is my heart, at Olympic speed. Long term, with so much uncertainty ahead for me, I am SO fearful he will not be cared for properly, as my health will invariably decline (tears again). I am afraid I will not be able to continue to give him my heart, and every fiber of my being, as I have and promised to do forever. I know so many people have so many things going on, and I pray for you all, as my new family of friends. I will continue to pray for my baby, and clarity, and unfamiliar to my nature, myself.

Thank you all, and I'm so sorry to have introduced myself on such a negative note. I have just been keeping this all inside for so long, and didn't know where I could get it out in a safe, nurturing, non-judgmental environment. Knowing I will be turning another year older next week, I promised myself to be strong and vulnerable this afternoon after an exhausting week of treatment which I'm afraid will only eat away at me more soon.

I didn't expect anyone to reply to me, but you all have restored my faith in humanity, just when I feel lower than low. I truly don't know what to do or who to turn to anymore, so any help, I will always be so thankful for.

It is so hard to be alone in this.

PS~if I was still living in NYC, I'd be happy to help by offering to foster your little guy during the times you are unable to care for him. Perhaps you will find another yorkie lover who lives close to you that is willing to help you and Riley out like that.

Maybe we could even start a thread for you Steve, requesting members in your area to help out and take shifts babysitting your pup and helping out while you are getting treatment :-) that would be amazing !!!! I wish I were closer because I would totally come help you and your pup. Or maybe there is a good reputable rescue that could find a foster in your area that could foster him, as well as have the foster bring him to visit, until you are done with all your treatments? There are options and I would hate to see you give him up, because I truly believe he can help you heal through this, and I will pray for you and your pup every day. I can be a prayer warrior for sure for you both.

Just know there are so many loving people here Steve, and I hope you are able to keep your little guy, and he helps you get through this fight you are beginning. XOXO

Overwhelmed by y'all's kindness
 

I had typed a long thank you note to you all, expressing how blessed I feel having you taken the time of your busy schedules to think of me and my sweet boy, and our situation. I received a message saying the post must be reviewed, and of course, I didn't save it, so I am hoping it appears somehow. I couldn't not write it before I went to sleep; I am moved to tears by your collective prayers, thoughts, suggestions, personal stories, etc. I am trying my best to navigate communicating on here while being in such a dark place emotionally, and feeling such excruciating pain.

YorkieTalk is clearly such a warm environment, and having just checked up on Riley, and having shed so many tears, as I am touched beyond measure, reading your notes to me (I didn't expect any replies to my post). I truly cannot express my gratitude enough, and hope in the morning, I can adequately do so, and hope my post to you all, resurfaces.

I would never ask for help unless I felt it absolutely necessary, and wouldn't know how to go about doing so here other than posting (I must read about this tomorrow in the Rules and Regulations of the site, as I do not want to come off as a pity case, but rather, someone in need of guidance through a scenario in which I feel like the WORST Dad to Riley. I pray I have the energy to figure out what I did wrong in my banned(?) post, after an exhausting week of daily treatment). Anything that would allow me to keep my angel, would warm my soul, but I struggle if this is the right thing longterm, if I cannot give him every fiber of my being, which is what I promised to him and to myself. Being alone is so hard.

Only blessings to every single member of this community. Love and evermore thanks from a broken heart and spirit in Queens, NY.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I also agree that having someone foster your pup while you devote time and energy to your own care is a great idea. I live in Baltimore (3.5 hours away)... let me know if I can help.

And for you, check this out: LIVESTRONG.org

Steve, I'm just heartbroken for you, I truly am. Is there just any way you can keep this little fella? I feel like you would heal so much better if he were with you, loving you along the way and vice versa. Maybe there are some rescues or folks in your area who could help w/ babysitting if needed...?

Oh my goodness Steve, I read your story and it made my heart hurt....I am so, so sorry for all you're going through :(

'Over here' we have several charities that help people in similar positions to your self - one of which is The Cinnamon Trust - The National Charity for the elderly, the terminally ill and their pets and I was wondering if you might have similar set-ups in the USA?

Just a thought - and I truly wish you both all the very best. Sally + Harry :aimeeyork x

Steve, you did nothing wrong. All posts from new members are moderated until after 15-20 posts are made. This protects YT members from scammers and silly folks. Keep posting and get that post count up! If you need help with this site, just ask ....

FYI: Yorkies are very flexible and forgiving. Their favorite thing is to be with their Moms and/or Dads, no matter what they're doing!

I was going to suggest a dogwalker or sitter for times when you're not feeling up to the task...

Steve, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I agree with everyone who has suggested you contact your breeder ASAP. Breeders of any quality are there to help us the tough decsions like this.

I would also like to offer to take care of your little guy for you while you are gettng your medical treatment (for however long is necessary). I know you would be trusting me blindly with your little love but the offer is on the table and we could make arrangements to get him here. I have fostered many rescues and could provide as many references as you would feel needed (and would even go through any questions from your breeder).

Continued prayers, make your health and your little boy your priority.

Steve, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. You must be going crazy with fear and worry.
I agree you must notify your breeder if you are going to be unable to care for him any longer. Is there anyone in your family who would be willing to step in and care for him while you are in treatment? Many on here are willing to foster. I was going to reply last night but wanted to talk with my husband first and We also would be willing to foster him here in nj.
Please keep us on YT posted on what is happening because as you can see we are a very caring group. I wish you and Riley the best.

Steve I didn't mean to end my post without saying, I am praying for You and Riley.

You came to the right place for help, we have so many wonderful people here but do get to the breeder so you follow the contract you signed before any other moves would be my advise. You don't want to have to deal with problems on that end of it.

God Bless you and do keep strong, there have been many strides in the field of Cancer and it is not the death sentence it used to be, so like I said 'lots of prayers' coming that you can fight the fight what will get you well again and back with Riley.

What a wonderful charity, I don't know if we do but I am going to check. We do have groups that offer senior dogs for senior people but can't say I have seen what you posted that is so dearly needed. Thanks.

SophieKatiesMom, What a caring, generous person & doggie mommy you are. I think fostering is a much better option than having to completely give up your baby. Being a fairly new member to this site, all I can say is that you people are amazing!!!

I'm saying prayers for you, Steve. I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

What a great offer Steve sending prayers this all is behind you very soon. Stay strong

Steve, it seems from your posts that you have not yet started treatment. Why not just see how things go for now? I know chemo can be more debilitating for some than others.

Perhaps you could board Riley locally until you see how this all affects you. You would have the option to have him at home if you feel up to it or could board him if you needed. It may not be a long term solution, but it may be best until you can see a little further down the road.

I'm so sorry, I don't really have any answers for you. Someone else suggested maybe hiring a dog walker. Do you have a neighbor that would be willing to do this or maybe a responsible teenager that lives nearby. I wish I had better suggestions for you but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine how you must be feeling but I hope you can find a way to keep your little boy. I think having him around would go a long way in keeping your spirits up. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.