What a huge and kind heart you have. Don't think she is rejecting you, just believe that she is making up her mind about you. That part might take a couple of months or more.

And it is totally okay to feel a tad depressed at the moment. But never, ever give up loving that lass. One day she will turn around. I feel this so strongly from what you have shared with us.

My husband did too at times feel depressed, it is a long story, but suffice it to say, he did realize that our pups and cat did truly love him.

I was just wondering, if there would be a time you can take her for a fun outing and walk, that didn't have throngs of tourists around?

I'm thinking like maybe a walk in a park in off hours off the beach, then to a pet store mid day, or to a friends home.

Do you have a backyard she can play in? Maybe invite one or two doggy savvy friends over for a lunch in the backyard.

I remember when Magic was young, different breed, different problem, but inviting folks over for a lunch in our backyard, really helped him, to socialize with humans. In a safe and secure environment.

But at the end of this all, is just time I believe. She will learn to trust you I am really optimistic about that.

Thanks again Jilly, I'm going to withdraw I think, as she took all the 16 little pieces of chicken I gave her today ant then immediately disappeared to 'her' room and hasn't given me a look at since my wife got home as well. My other half (Irina) is now here all the time for 5 days, so maybe I'll slip quietly into the background. I need some work done on a vintage car I own, so I may take a break for a week maybe and stay with a buddy up country and see what transpires when I return. The lady we bought her from, who was a trader, told me today that if things don't settle down she'll take her back, as there was also 'history' with the previous owner, who couldn't control her. Also tonight, when Irina was sat eating her food, she became quite aggressive and barked continuously at her until she'd finished - quite a tantrum and a whole new development I can tell you?

Martin

Re-reading your post again, I've highlighted what may be very real problem viz. I'm a bit of a gadget man you see. in my room is a very sophisticated surround sound system, wireless transmitters, iPads, laptops, cooling fans, and Air conditioning! Irina's room (by her request) has none of the above. I'd noticed sometimes how Crystal jumps a bit when something like a sound effect on the TV, comes out of one particular speaker, or the air-con goes into a 'coil dry' routine, which means 30 secs of buzzing. More important my room has a balcony and its the heart of the summer season here just now. Most annoyingly we get unbelievably loud Harley Davidsons, throbbing along the sea front. Although we're the Penthouse, 4 storeys up, the edifice of the building acts like the walls of a canyon and its a fact that we can hear a whisper on the pavement, so a wretched great motor bike may be too much for her, as increasingly it is for me. I have the balcony barriered with some trellis to prevent her maybe falling off, by squeezing though the railings. Whilst she's definitely inquisitive, she's still markedly timorous to the sounds. Irina's room is in the rear, where it's much quieter. I have treble glazed doors, so I can shut the noise out completely, but sometimes forget in the summer to lock out the invasive tourist world! Tonight she's been hyper active, chasing around like a tornado, playing with me, but leaving the room when Irina exits.

Amazing 10 mins ago we decided to take her in the woods tomorrow. My wife now feels guilty and was having a quiet cry on my behalf tonight. I'm a few years off seventy and Crystal is my first dog, since my last of 17 years, passed on in '97 a few weeks before my late wife died. So it's been an emotional journey in more ways than one. If it's a matter of time, I can wait and I'm long sailed in the patience department. My real worry was outright rejection and also not being able to figure why? However if you read the above response from me, maybe I've uncovered with 'Jilly's' help at least a contributory factor?

I have to say, so far I appear to be the only man on here too, so I'm probably a bit overawed at present, that's because my wife's first language is not English and she 's also a bit of a technophobe too.

Thanks for your post and support, I guess I've also got to stop trying to psycho analyse a dog and treating it as a human, they're far more honourable and honest.

For sure you are not the only man on here. There is Alaska Yorkie, WoogieMan, Carlybaby, ironman and more.

Yes don't try to over analyze too much, although for some of us (me included) will have a tendency to do so.

And all those gadgets beeping or what-ever in your room at this point in time just might be too strange for her.

Enjoy your walk in the forest tomorrow

It could be Crystal is like Tibbe, hypersensitive to certain sounds. I've read that some dogs just produce more adrenaline and that promotes more fear and aggression in them. My TV system has 18 speakers, two each that handle the various low, mid and high tones of TV/DVD sound effects plus two larger side speakers and a subwoofer and when there is something odd or different, he used to disappear and stay in the bedroom for 2 or more hours - and I'm all he's got - yet his fear was such he had to leave me to get to a safe, quieter spot where he felt in control. Eventually, he would come back in and seem better. I began to find sound effect samples online such as the circle saw, the doorbell, space-age related sounds and those odd sounds you get in New Age music and play short 18 second segments of those during the day when Tibbe was happy and playing and barking out the window at the cat or squirrels.

Recently he had a return of his panic attacks and I also bought him a Thundershirt which pretty well calms him right down and he usually goes to sleep on the couch pillow right beside me when wearing it. It got much worse when he had a bad GI upset in April of this year and he had full blown panic attacks with hard panting, wall-eyes, shaking, his head turning on a swivel looking all about and eventually dashing for the bedroom. You could tell his system did a full-blown adrenalin dump and he was petrified. I had double-paned windows and heavy drapes installed down in the bedroom a few years back when a neighbor's dog was barking a great deal so it is unusually quiet in that room and pretty much all you can hear is the hiss of the air conditioner. I also often use white noise in the bedroom nights and he really seems to like that if turned on during his attacks of fear. Anyway, once I got the Thundershirt, his GI problems ended, he's stopped having those recurrent panic attacks that reminded me of his early panic attacks when I first got him.

He's not afraid of Thunder or the normal things - just oddball noises. He spent 9 mos. of his life before I got him in a cage outside in a covered shed exposed to the elements trapped so I imagine a lot of circle saws and things like that in his more rural area terrified him and he couldn't escape or turn to anyone for help. He was alone and helpless. He was kennel-crazy, unsocialized and panicky and scared of most everything when I first got him - even a squeaky door or the refrigerator running, the phone/doorbell ringing, TV, radios, etc. and he'd run out of the den down the hall to the quiet bedroom when he heard those. Eventually he did desensitize and accommodate to all of those except the odd sounds - particularly anything you would hear in space-age genre movies - those high-pitched, warbly sounds of what Hollywood used to think flying scaucers made and things like that. Even adds for those shows would send him running. But we conquered all of that only to have it return this April. Anyway, once he got well of his GI troubles in May, he's back to being himself and even during the Fourth of July fireworks neighbors set off, he just barked but wasn't scared. We didn't even need the Thundershirt.

I hope your little girl's isolation issues are noise-related as she can be slowly desensitized to those using sound effects from time to time in short burst with concurrent use of distraction of playing really fun games and tossing her balls or sounding her squeaky toys while you play the short burst of a soundtrack. Also toss her a treat. Having Tibbe perform all of his Obedience work during these desensitization sessions really helps him distract from them too. If he's busy doing his commands, he's almost oblivious to sounds now that used to send him running. I wish I'd had the Thundershirt to use on him back when I first got him - it might have helped him faster.

But little by little we worked through his fears and he began to stay in the den with me when he heard a weird noise from the TV sound system and I'd always get up and get him a treat to help associate the sound with something good to him and reward his bravery, with a big smile on my lips and building him up with positive words like "soldier", "hero", "big guy", "general", "winner" - all words that I felt upbeat when saying to him and just uttering those words put me - and him - in a better place mentally. Just that mindset one gets when thinking of a soldier or hero, I believe, can translate to the dog and help him psychologically feel a bit more powerful. Tibbe LOVED all of those words being used to describe him and watching me pump myself up even as I said them seemed to pump him up too. And then the treat to mark all of that bravery with food from me further reinforced how good staying in the den was when he heard a scary noise and associating it with food and being nurtured by me.

It took a long time and guess what, if I kept the TV off or on mute, he was a different dog, though still a bit apprehensive because he knew in the den those sounds could assail him anytime, until he was sufficiently rehabbed from these fears. Now he's 99% cured of all those noise-related fears and only occasionally will one get to him and send him running. Only his recent illness brought it all back for a time until he was well. It's been a long haul but we're about as rehabbed as he's probably every going to be.

Thundershirt also has a little cap now that they sell that covers the head and the eyes with mesh for those dogs that are just taking in way too much sound and visual stimulation for them to handle at times. The covering helps the dog feel a bit isolated behind the mesh, which helps keep out too much visual stimuli and all he's really got to deal with is the sound. The cap/hood just fits over the head and part of the face and should Tibbe ever revert to his old panic, I might get one of those to help cut down on his extra stimuli, turn on the white noise machine here in the den and put his Thundershirt on and see how he fares.

Anyway, these are all just some things we dealt with and it took months to get where we are but it was worth it in the end. He was also fearful of closing doors, the broom, vacuum and shaking out a plastic garage bag and things like that. He's now a well-trained, well-behaved, fun and loving companion, very calm now and happy in his own skin. I don't know if some or even any of this will apply to your baby but it just might. You never know until you hear about others trials and then experiment and try to see if it could in some way work for Crystal. Being younger, she could be far less difficult to rehab of this problem if that's what she has.

Jilly, what a magnificent and helpful response. I think the noise issue is perhaps the first of many changes in Crystal's life now. We believe she lived in a cage with many other pups and young dogs, as we've since seen web ads from the same lady we got her from. All the creatures in the pics have the tell-tale wood chips in their hair, that were so problematical for us to rid Crystal from. I don't believe in any way that she was mistreated here, as she definitely loved all the ladies at what was essentially a very up market horse breeding establishment. I suppose being taken at say 8 weeks to one home and then removed to a breeder yet again and now on to us in 13 weeks, after a 3 hour car journey with strangers, is a lot for a little soul to cope with. The noises you enumerate are very similar to my den's sounds. I believe however the noises coming from the outside world on my balcony are presently the scariest for her? Of course, when these are at ground level it may explain her reticence to explore the outside world. I should mention here that my right arm is paralysed. I therefore have a canvas shoulder sling bag I intermittently carry her in from time to time; as I've noticed she gets very stressed from other dogs and traffic sounds. I also figured that at 23 weeks she perhaps needed to rest her little pins occasionally.

Inadvertently, I may have struck a chord with her, as when the three of us are out together she enjoys hopping in "Dad's Bag" and snooping at the world from over the side. Also we sometimes stop at a little bar on the way home. Here she stays in the bag with me the whole time, even though Irina is sat next to her. Most of the time whilst in her "mobile nest" she quivers in 15 second spasms and if I leave to get another drink for us, she apparently becomes very fretful. Yes, the shaking out of garbage bags, the vac (kept in my room!), broom, electric shaver, electric toothbrush, extractor fans, being alone in the dark - all cause her to vamoose to the 'safe room' pronto.

I concur that being really just a pup, she should adjust quicker than Tibbe, poor little soldier? Is it ever possible to "spoil" them with too much attention and love? We are two self-confessed dog lovers and we do shower these affections on Crystal. So far she doesn't seem to be getting spoilt, but I don't want her to be a poor socialiser, because of that. We met another Yorkie on a walk two nights back, and it surprised us how small she was in comparison. The little chap was introduced and after some yakking wanted to make friends and play, Crystal - tail curled up into her tummy - just wanted to be picked up and quaked when he'd just sniffed her.

Reinforcing this apparent phobia (not aggression) towards other dogs, she has a habit, (now dropping off fast) to take her food and eat it out of the bowl in a quiet corner. This perhaps reflecting a recall, where she'd been fed jointly and felt the need to get her share away to protect it from others?

In closing may I say, how thoughtful, helpful and reflective your comments have been here and just how grateful we are for your kindness and time. I shall certainly become a donating member Jilly.

Martin

I really don't think you can show a dog too much affection as long as they have a well-balanced life with boundaries they can't cross - such as challenging you in a mean way or barking continually after you have said "Quiet" or ignoring you when any command is given. Correction, standing them down, redirection and the obedience training and active, challenging games and and enriched lifestyle will all begin to work together to stop any aggression they develop. But once a dog is well-trained and has a rich life with firm boundaries, they rarely present with any type of behavioral problems.

The reason I say that is because dogs do love hierarchy - it's inherited for centuries - and expect to have a leader - they need it and once it's established and they are happy, they don't want to challenge that or act out. We choose our domesticated dogs frequently for their juvenile and cute qualities and want to let them get away with all but murder as they are so dang cute. And that's fine until it leads to general disorder, chewing up expensive items, peeing anywhere they want, guarding certain areas or objects and failing to even come to us when called. As you know, the lack of a leader who sets boundaries can leave them feeling no one is in control really and from their point of view, the pack needs a leader. So in they step into that role and begin to do what they want when they want and ignore their owners while beginning to take charge of many things. Why? Because at heart, they are just like little toddlers and toddlers are darling but willful.

Just be a strong, benevolent owner, kind and patient beyond measure, teach her firm boundaries, keep her life challenging, working hard learning commands and to work for her food at times such as feeding her in interactive toys and bowls, a day full of activities and always lots of fun, play and most of all love sessions, and she will do fine - no matter how affectionate you two may be. But the first six-nine months or so with a troubled dog of any kind can be extremely rocky at times when they seem to revert to old ways and you feel defeated. Don't. With a good rehab program, slowly they get better and begin to learn how to exist with us. But I'll tell you, that first half year or so with Tibbe was truly tough and almost constant work. He was a mess psychologically, had very bad teeth, ear mites, worms I think and totally unsocialized at all, but now he's a happy and very, very well-behaved little monster who rules my life most of the time in all the ways that I like. Actually, he's got ME pretty well trained.

I'm so glad you joined YorkieTalk and will become a donating member. I've learned so much here and actually made some wonderful friends here. There is lots of support here and in good times or bad, we hang together and try to help all posters. Once in a while it gets tense on some threads but those generally work themselves out. Now that you are a member here, join right in and begin to help those that can use your knowledge. We badly need guys and all the things you all know!!! Stories and pictures of Crystal will be much appreciated, too. We all love to hear about Yorkies and their antics! Sounds like she is one blessed dog who lives in an ideal setting and is destined for many wonderful years blessing your life and vice-versa.

Thanks Jilly and all you other kind and interested ladies in my little girl,

Well a bit of a break through tonight maybe? By chance I had to get down completely flat on the floor to retrieve a toy that had become lodged between two items of furniture in Irina’s room. All three of us were together at this time. Crystal hopped off the bed and started licking my face continuously, then, as I’d just got out of the shower, she saw my right hand for the first time. Normally this is gloved as my circulation is poor. Amazingly she was very interested and started licking that too! Interestingly she also kept jumping up at my face to try and lick it when I sat up from the crawling position. It was quite pointed and something I’d not experienced to date, with her, indeed we thought initially she was trying to snap at me, but no, just a huge licking. Since this little get together she’s been in to my room a few times, and once settled down beside me, for a few minutes Throughout I’ve been treating her with fresh strips of chicken breast, every few hours or so and in the afternoons she gets the nibbled off corners of a few of my cookies. I feel something has happened, even if it’s just a small start. Later this evening she began to bark into her room almost as if there was an intruder. We were laughing at her and then Irina realized the window was open, a new event. A strong wind had got up and she definitely didn’t like it. Closed the window, and the barking ceased immediately, so perhaps she sees windows and in particular my balcony as ‘security breaches’ – who knows?

Thanks for the greeting, I have been made to feel very welcome here and was glad to help in “keeping the ship buoyant”. I enjoy participating and this little dog has given me a new lease of life and new challenges to encounter.

She's beginning to see you as a food-sharer, nurturer and is probably beginning to trust you more. Developing a little nurturing of her own, I see! Tibbe barks at the wind, too! He gets really mad at it! All I have to say is "It's windy outside" and he's at the window going off on it, watching the tree limbs moving all around. He doesn't like that one bit, thinks they should stay still.

I'm glad you got on the floor! I almost always recommend it as a powerful tool to those dealing with unsure/shy dogs. Even a cur dog, with a history of being badly abused and hiding in a corner eventually come out of their shell with a lot of floor time spent with the dog, avoiding eye contact and even turning your back to them. It can make them feel a lot more empowered in the budding relationship and removes fear in time. I believe you're making strides with her. Good update :)

Thanks Gemy, things have gone well today and the walk was marvellous, we saw no-one, she relaxed and got sniffing and snuffling in a way we've not seen her before. Tonight I listened to the TV with the wireless phones and she joined me briefly. Also Irina said after they'd settled down to sleep tonight she heard me in the kitchen and pawed at the door to see me. I'm not sure if was for more Chicken or to make sure Dad was OK, but after more 'floor excercises' she beat it back to bed and left me exhausted. Glad to hear other Guys post too. I'm sure my pals would think me nuts if they knew I was on here, but as I said to Jilly, this little girl has got me doing things I'd never have thought possible 3 weeks ago and enjoying all of it too?

Sounds like it's going really well and you are gaining her trust. I had to laugh when I read your last couple of sentences about floor exercises and what other guys would think. Isn't it something the thing we do for our dogs?!?!!

I can't see many guys over here admitting to romping on the floor with a Yorkshire Terrier, a pit bull yes? They are not seen as a very macho breed, in fact the reverse. They are viewed as female lap dogs or fashion accessories. Of course ignoring the noble circumstance of their origin, as a "working class" hunter of vermin.

Mind you, libertarian as I am, I somehow draw the line at walking along the promenade accompanied by Crystal dressed in Irina's latest addition to her wardrobe!

It's a Dog's Life

PS A new and suspicious entity has emerged - the ironing board. This implement caused a rapid and continuing migration to Dad's room!

The Yorkshire Terrier truly is a noble animal with such a heart for work and connection to his world, no matter how some might try to rob them of their rough-and-ready working side. And I truly do wish Yorkies were recognized for their tough background of vital service and the role they played in history. They are excellent watchdogs and still don't mind catching a critter or two when given the chance. Most of them have no idea how small and really cute they are! I pray one day one segment of Yorkie fanciers turn from trying to create ultra-tiny ones that can barely run in the grass or jump off the porch step even when full-grown. :)

Ran to Dad's room??????? Wonderful good sign of trust. In time, you can desensitize her to that old ironing board once she's more settled in.

Cracking me up about the guys! And you guys present a solid front to one another but many of us gals know how many, many guys cater to and lavish the small, "lapdogs" in their lives with extraordinary attentions and kindnesses they would never admit to in public o their fishing buddy! But can't say I blame you for not walking your Yorkie in a fussy pink frock! A lot of guys would draw the line at more public displays such as that!

I've been unable to access the site for nearly two days from here in England? Meanwhile a lots happened. A day after I last posted she started, coming back into my room and staying, eventually curled up next to me for two hours! That same night we both played with her for an hour, she got excited, jumped up and scratched (unintentionally) Irina's face. She kefpt rushing at my face too, so when when I told her 'No' and held my finger up she put her head and shoulders down and barked at me, (tail wagging ) in a very determined way.

Irina promptly banned her to the bathroom for ten minutes, after which she gained 'parole' and was very quiet, head down looking extremely remorseful. We figured its the same as a toddler stamping her foot and refusing to go to bed, or accept similar instructions ie. "come on, tidy your toys up, no more playing tonight" etc? A sort of test to see, who's really in charge here? Anyway last night I went to visit a pal and stayed with him overnight, so I was away for the first time in her 23 days with us. Apparently she went to my room immediately I left, and curled up on my bed, for nearly five hours. All today she has kept returning and checking the room out. Every time the elevator sounded (we live on the top 4th floor), she sped to the doors to see if it would rise to our level, which it didn't?

Tonight when I returned, there was an unbelievable welcome, head down, ears back, the whole of her back end wagging, loads of kissy-licks and excitement. When we took out to some secluded woods and forest causeway, we let her off the lead I walked one way Irina the other. Immediately she dashed after me and this confirms her previous partner selection pattern when walking. She also stopped trembling, now back on the lead, two staffordshire bull terriers appeared, one off the leash. Fortunately I had my sling bag ready and we got her 'on board' before the first dog got to us. I knew the owner, who apologised, but it was a lucky escape as one of them (leashed and muzzled is a problem dog). The loose one was very friendly, but very boisterous. 'Crystal' stayed with the "Fortress Bag" shivering like a jelly!

She soon recovered and tonight has been really wonderful. I'll upload some more pics tomorrow too. (including my choice of walking harness)