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For the OP sorry for the typos my stinking cell phone. When our cginchilla was pts even though my daughter is almost 6 years older than my son her persobality is very different. My son at 4 years old went to the vets with me to have Gooby put down. He cried with me and he was told by the vet how as part of having a pet sometimes we have to love them so much we can help them say goodbye. My son handled it well. We answered all his questions. I went through debating my partening choice to expose him to it the whole time. My son thanked the vet for ending Gooby's tummy ache pain (he had already had one surgery for a turned stomach which twisted again a week after comming home). It was the right choice. I would still not take my daughter at 13 to this type of apointment, she's a strong girl but this is not something she needs to see. Its so hard being a parent of both skin and furkids. My heart too really aches for your situation. Its never easy. |
I know for myself I want my furbutts to pass at home surrounded by their family. I would find a vet to do it at my home. The vets office always bothers my furbutts. I believe humans and animals should pass at home whenever possible and not in a clinical setting. There are books you can get from the bookstore or public library to introduce the topic to your kidshttp://childrensbooks.about.com/od/themesubjectbooksby/tp/petdeath.htm Mine always get a formal funeral in the backyard in their favorite place outside with one of their cherished belongings and a lock of the other furbutts hair placed with them. Lucky is on the hill in my parents backyard so he can watch the sunset as is Zoey. My mom's bichon is in the herb garden which has sun most of the day- He loved to watch the sunset. My thoughts and prayers are with you. |
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I dont really have any suggestions to add to all the great ideas you have received...I like the book idea, to get them kind of used to the idea of life, then death....and I have always brought either ashes or the body home, for a burial in the yard.....I think it provides closure to something children may have a hard time understanding where the pet's body actually went....my brothers beagle is buried under a beautiful flower garden, in the yard by a wooden swing we have out there...and I explained to my cousins small children after the "funeral", how they were going to help plant the seeds and bulbs over the area, and how soon, the flowers would all grow into beautiful plants and nurished by Sparkys spirit, and in celebration of his life, they would all bloom gorgeous flowers....we did like I said we would do, we planted small azaleas all around the outline of the flower bed, which is shaped in a teardrop, and we filled in the middle with beautiful asian lillies and yellow mums, and some beautiful little "fairy lillies" or "rain lillies"...they bloom magically everytime it rains.....(here is the lie I inserted in all this) I told the kids when it rained, Sparky thought we were crying over him, missing him, so he sends up all these beautiful little lillies to let us know he is happy and he is alright and he does not want us sad.....the kids asked if we could put a bird bath in the garden so the little birds could sing for Sparky....so we have a bird bath in the middle of all the flowers.......and a memorial stone.... |
Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions No I have never heard of the rainbow bridge. I mean I am pretty straight w/ them about death and dying and god and heaven we do talk to them about that We do have family members that have passed My issue is do I say ok say goodbye to myles before i bring him to the vet or do I just bring him home and after burying him tell the kids he passed away how do i approach it? they know he is sick they can see how he is plus we have a yorky pup which has had most of the kids attention so i know they have rudy so they will be ok but i know they will miss him i will make a special place in the yard for him and get a head stone thanks i love your support it makes me feel better |
I would let them say goodbye |
There are a lot of ways to deal with the death of a loved one or pet. I would expect your children already know their beloved friend is not well. In the long run, only you know your children well enough to decide what is best...or right...for them within your family, social, and religious beliefs and structures. I am sorry about the trouble that has befallen you. My deepest sympathies as you embark on this tragic journey. {{{Hugs}}} |
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I think if your vet will cone to your house I would personally perfer that, but as to which children are present thats such a personal choice bases on your acessment of how each child would cope. Either way I personally would let them know its that time and let then say goodbye. |
It isn't going to be easy no matter how you do it. When my kids were little, I always told them their pup would be going to Heaven to be with Jesus and will be waiting for them there. They agreed that nothing could be better than being with Jesus. In my prayers, Louise and Zachary :love: |
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Just can't do it.... Louise and Zachary |
Me personally it would depend on their age. This is just me personally as I have had to deal with death since 13 when my Mom passed away. We didn't tell Isaiah to say goodbye to Coco. My niece and nephew who are 16 and 19 did say goodbye and visit with her before we took her to the Vet. When we took Coco Isaiah stayed with his grandparents. We talked to him about it the next day. If he was older we would have done it differently. Everyone does things their way and I don't fault anyone. |
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I think, only you can decide if you let your children say "Good Bye" to Myles. Since you talk them about God and Heaven, and dying, I think I would tell them that Myles is going to Heaven. I like the "Rainbow Bridge" poem, however, it is my personal belief, that since God gave us dogs to be our companions, that He must have a place in Heaven for our special companions. Again, that is only my personal belief. (((HUGS))) Sheila |
When 2-bits (15 1/2yrs) passed away. My grown children were all given an oppertunity to come visit with him in private,in our home. The teens that still lived here had all been very involved in his care for the last 6 mos to a year and they knew that he wasnt doing well. 2-bits was everyones but he was my two youngests protector,he was only 6mos younger than my youngest and had been here all of her life. These two were given the option to come with us to the vet,they both declined. I made an apt. for 8am,noone was at the vets office and the kids were all still asleep. Gary and I left with 2-bits quietly,we stayed with him until the end. I choose to have our pets cremated, my kids still touch his box and tell him that they miss him. This was just last Feb. I hope that the perfect way for your family will come to you and that there will be peace for each of you. Blessings |
My heart goes out to you Denise, your family and Myles too. I think you have been given some lovely stories and suggestions. We always bring our babies home to be buried in the pet garden in our yard. We have a stone for each beloved pet. It helps me. Please do what feels right for you and your family. Hugs, prayers and love, Teresa and the Just right Yorkies |
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