How do you know? End of Life question
 

As some of you know, my Paris has collapsing trachea and is blind. He is steadily getting worse but I am distraught over choosing the level of suffering I want him to endure. He is eating, but not gobbling up his food like he used to and not eating right as I put the food down, he will come later and eat it. He hasn't played squeaky sock in several days. He has coughing fits all day long and each breath is noisy. He wakes up in the night fighting for air. Some days he crys almost all day.
The vet said on 12/9 he wasn't in pain, and his heart sounded good and no fluid in his lungs.
Some people have said you can see it in their eyes, but Paris is blind.
It breaks my heart to see him like this, but how do I know it is time?
My eyes fill with tears to even think about it, but I want to do the right thing for my best friend.

I am very sorry you and Paris are facing this. My family has always consulted with our vet to determine quality of life and made our decisions that way.

You have been very good to Paris, and I believe you will know in your heart when it is time.

I am so sorry your Paris is getting worse. IMO when you start to ask the question, "how do I know", you are at least halfway down the road, to knowing when.

There are many ways of knowing, often found with-in your own heart, as you and your heart are the best experts with regards to Paris.

Dogs can tell us so with their body language,and their actions, when life is becoming a burden to them.

I've not yet had to experience this with my animals as they have died either too early through an accident, or in their own time. But I did with my Dad. I had to make the decision to take him off of life support. The road there to the decision was very painful, but one day visiting him I just knew in my heart, it was time. I was with him when he took his last breath.

Hugs to you and Paris, as you walk this path together.

when I had to put my 12yr old lab to sleep/ she just looked at me and i knew/ the same with my jrt that I had to put down in march// I also relied on my vets opinion// I asked if it was time to put them to sleep and she said yes// it came down to quality of life// it is not a easy decision to make

So sorry about Paris. My heart goes out to you and him. My Jessie was also blind but you just know when it is time. She couldn't walk and just gave up. The others who have said that your heart will tell you are right. Love and peace to both of you.

Thanks to all of you who responded. I feel comfort in knowing someone else cares.

So sorry Paris is starting to fail. Unforunately, I have had to make the decision you may face too many times. It is the really heart-wrenching part about having pets. None of mine have just passed away in their sleep. The thing about pets, they give you their unconditional love and in return we take the best care of them that we can. Included in our caring for these wonderful creatures is the obligation to do what they can not. The ultimate act of love is to make sure that they do not suffer.

Knowing "when it is time" is the hardest thing to decide and we must be careful to think only about pet and not ourselves. I always ask, does my poor baby still have quality of life? I usually access this by 3 things:

are they in pain?
are they eating?
can they still hold their potty duties?

Usually, for me, if one of the questions in NO, then I know it is "time".

This is just how I handle this situation and I know that others may handle it differently. I hope that it helps you.

You will know in your heart when it is time. I knew when Carlo went downhill and just looked at me. It is hard, very hard, but can't let them suffer. Our best to you guys.

I feel so bad that you and Paris are at this place. I will keep you both in my prayers. I agree, a discussion and exam by your vet may be best...

I feel for ya.....we put our Aussie Shepard down in October. Totally sucked, worse thing we ever done. It was time though, we could tell she was tired and she was just not enjoying life any more. I made sure I looked her in the eyes the entire time, whispered in her ear and reassured her that she will no longer have to struggle to move....she would be free from her earthly pain. After it was all said and my hubby and I felt such relief for her. Dogs dont know to "give up/give in", as their friend we have to make that decision for them. Funny thing...every once in a while I think I hear Libby bark. I am usually in another room in the house and I will hear it clear as day, across the house, makes me smile and sigh...she is still with us in spirit.

Gentle ((((hug)))
Bobbi

I'm so sorry you are facing this difficult time. I don't know how, but you just know when it's time. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. My vet said we did the right thing, but it was still so hard. You have given Paris such a wonderful life. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Sending hugs to you.

These are the things I am considering also. On top of theses I am also considering that he is sometimes struggling for a breath. In the end it will be the trachea problem that does him in.

I'm planning on taking him back after the weekend holiday is over, just for a recheck, before I have to go back to work.

Thanks for the hugs, Sometimes I swear I see my cats walking in the house and they have been gone a few years now.

I am so sorry for you and Paris. Believe me I know just how you feel and hard the decision is to make. We made the decision to stop my best friend suffering Nov 26, 2011 . Let me tell you how we came to our decision and maybe it will help you "know when it is time". It all started with what we thought was a simple UTI. A couple of years before he had bladder surgery so we watch for them. The vet gave him antibiotics but even with the medicine one day he would be better the next two worst . He seemed to be confused part of the time. We spent over $600.00 on blood tests, x-rays, ultrasounds, etc. something would show up but after doing further more specialized test it would be ok. Back and forth we went, it was a terrible time. To us it didn't matter about how much money it costs, what did matter was he was getting worse and we didn't have any answers. He went totally blind suddenly. Being blind is horrible but not something we can't live with. Dogs adjust amazingly well. He was a picky eater so that was hard to judge. He was drinking but he became more and more confused. Almost like he had Alzheimer. For ten years he has been my constant companion. I am disabled so he spent the majority of his time sleeping beside me on the couch. Now he wouldn't stay still. He walked with his head hung down around the house. At first I thought he was "mapping" the house getting use to his blindness. We have a doggie door to our back yard and he has used it for over 10 years but we woke up one morning and he was not in the house. We found him lost in the back yard. His paws were so cold. I gave him some of my oxygen and held him until he warmed up. Later that day he seemed to be better was still mapping the house but would let me hold him and still would sleep beside me. That night he never stopped walking. He refused to be held and now he would bark as he was walking and when you picked him up. This is when I knew it was time. He was not a barker. Only when the door bell rang. It was obvious he was on pain. Only one time during the night when I woke up to check on him was he asleep but I bet he walked 23 out of the 24 hours. He was blind so looking in his eyes was not a option but he always shook when we went to the vet this time he slept and continue to sleep until the end. This told us he knew we were helping him that the pain would soon be gone. We believe he had a brain tumor but we will never know for sure. Sorry this is so long but I wanted you to know how we knew it was time. He was only 10 Years old. RIP my friend. I miss you so much.

Thank you, Carlea for sharing your sad story. I just am having a terrible time with this. He's my buddy and he's always been there for me. I know I will be there for him in the end.

I will keep you in my prayer..I am sure you will be there for him, it is not easy. My thoughts are with you.

Paris has the best mommie in the world. You will know when the time comes. It's just something you know. My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you and Paris my prayers, too.

In tears as I write this.......

You are in the midst of our worst nightmare. About 2 1/2 years ago I went through what you are experiencing now. My Yorkie, Pudding' was, and had been in renal failure for many years. She was also blind, but got around just fine in her safe environment.

She was 11 years old, hard started not eating well, slept most of the time,and became fairly lethargic. She would respond when I held her and talked to her and loved on her,but she no longer played or was able to overtly respond to here environment or me. The lab work started to indicate that things we really going down hill - next would be seizures, confusion and perhaps pain. Knowing she was at the end of the quality of her life and that there clearly was no light at the end of this very narrowing tunnel I made the decision. I am in the medical field and have been with Maya's they passed on, and frankly knowing that my Pudding' would never be in pain, never be unloved, or unhappy I gladly let her go with a smile. The smile was not for me -- it was all about her and where she was.

I think you will know when should need to do Paris that favor!

BTW I had also decided that it would be a long time before I would be able to give myself to another furbaby--- well 4 months later Cali came into my life Ina rather round about way and it was so right. I have always thought Pudding' sent Cali to me.

Oops this is too long.......but you know your fur baby better than anyone.

Unfortunately your heart will let you know. I had the very same decision to make this past June. My cattle dog was 13 1/2. She too was blind. But when the vet got to our house she seemed so peaceful and it was like she knew it was time. This is our first Christmas without her. Will be praying for you.

Two years ago this month I had to have my 15 year old Shih Tzu put down. After living that many years with a loyal companion who had helped me through some very difficult times as my kids were growing up it was very difficult for me to make the decision about when it was time. I don't know, I guess I thought he was going to tell me himself somehow. But he would never have told me. It seemed he wanted to keep living and so it was difficult for me to end it. Now as I think back I know I should have done it sooner. He had lost his eyesight, he had arthritis. The main thing was his personality changed. He was more withdrawn and now I suppose it was because he was in pain. Animals don't show pain like people do many times.
If your little one is crying I would have to think something is causing pain. They can't and won't show us what hurts. It's up to you what and when you do it. I can tell you now that I wish I had put him out of his suffering sooner. Actually I did not do it. My son and my daughter took him to the vet. I could not do it. That is what a basket case I was about losing him. Humans sometimes suffer terribly before they die. At least with our animals we can spare them the horrors that the body can put them through as they approach their final days. I pray your baby will be at peace and not suffer and you as well.

You will KNOW when the time has come. I had to put down my JRT a few weeks ago. It was very difficult, yet I knew that it needed to be done. He was suffering and I wanted him to be at peace. This is an extremely hard decision but you will make the right choice. You are in my thoughts.

So sorry that you and your baby are experiencing this. Remember this is about Paris. Let him go as soon as you can.

As I read all of your posts I know that I am facing the same decision. Last March when my sweet Bunkey (My lil friend) was soooo sick and had seizures, I didnt have to choose. I simply chose sooner than in an hour or two,because he was in so much pain. Now I am having to choose the correct time for our "old man" 2-bits. He is a shepard/huskey and a bit over 15yrs. He hears,sees,eats if it tastes good,but his back hips are almost gone. He seemed to not hurt until yesterday,bless him, he cryed for almost 12hrs (here it is Christmas and the vet will be closed until Tuesday). He finally got comfortable late this morning. I know that I have to do this thing,but when I look in his eyes I see him asking me "what has happened to my legs? why can't I get up by myself sometimes?" He still even trys to play with the other dogs,if he is standing. Without 2bits I would not of been able to keep up with my daughter when she was trying to escape the house as a toddle. Without 2bits I would never of gotten the 3 male poodle puppys, that I brought home at the same time,trained. Without 2bits I would not of felt safe in my house at night when my husband was out of town. I am having such a tuff time knowing when it is time.
I so understand how you feel about your baby and hope that you will know in your heart the right moment. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

This is the answer. They will let you know. Sorry that you are going through this.

Thank you so much for your kind words. It is Christmas morning 5:30 am and I am already up with Paris. He had a bad episode already this morning.

As long as Paris is not in pain and is comfortable, I say love him as long as you can. I believe you will know when it is the time. God bless you and comfort you!

I am so sorry for your loss. The breathing issues are what concern me the most with Paris. He sleeps alot, and eats but hardly ever plays. When he has a breathing episode it breaks my heart to see him struggle for air.
Thank you all for your prayers and kind words.

I don't think he is in pain and I think he is comfortable, except when he has a breathing or coughing episode. I hate it when I have to go to work and leave him alone for hours, and can't comfort him if he has an attack. Right now I am off until 1/3 so that is good.
I am taking him to the vet for a recheck on Monday.