Don't Play With the Puppy???
 

Hi,

Our vet told me that I needed to stop hovering over Bella, and playing with her and interacting with her every moment she is awake. He said she could and most likely would, develop severe separation anxiety and she needs to be taught that it's okay to have alone puppy time. I'm a housewife, with no children, so our pets are our 'kids'. What am I supposed to do, ignore her??? The issue came up when the vet tech took her to be weighed, she freaked out and squirmed like crazy and squawked until she was back with me.

She woke up recently and immediately I got on the floor and started playing with her. I'm not a softie. She knows not to bite, because that gets a "Eh eh eh!! No Bella, no bite"...and she doesn't like upsetting me. I DO correct her when she does something inappropriate.

I stopped after an hour of play and went into this room.

I decided to try and do what the vet said and let her play by herself but she's breaking my heart. I refuse to leave her unwatched, so I put a rack in the doorway instead of closing it. She keeps standing on her hind legs, leaning against the rack, tilting her head and whimpering at me. She won't play by herself, Brussels is tired (he's senior), kitty wants nothing to do with her yet (though she has stopped hissing, now she just sniffs her nose and walks off).

She *needs* a playmate (namely me) doesn't she? How can I expect her to just amuse herself? That feels really unfair.

You should hear her whimpering, and those eyes, those eyes are like little windows. She clearly wants me to play with her.

I just want reasons why I should listen to the vet and not play with her?? It seems like animal cruelty and neglect to me. IF this is right, and she is supposed to have alone time....she's not liking it at ALL. How long am I supposed to let her stand up and cry at me?

I interacted with our Brussels the same way when he was a puppy and LONG into adulthood (until he started sleeping a ton). He grew up just fine, didn't have this 'separation anxiety' stuff, and didn't seem to have ANY ill effects.

...she's still whimpering at me and has been since I started typing this.

...now she's not whimpering, she's yowling a little puppy yowl and making a gurgly growly sound.:( She's pitching a fit.

Awwwwww:unlove: That sound will break your heart! It sounds like both you and the vet are right. I think that there can be a happy medium, where she gets lots of attention, and a little alone time. Maybe a special toy or a kong will help her entertain herself. Something she ONLY gets at alone time? I sort of hovered over mine for a bit, but I would put them in the gated kitchen or in their pen in the bedroom when I needed to do stuff and couldn't watch them. It's just like a baby, if you give in when they cry, they will be whiners:laugh: If you must go get her, wait until she STOPS crying and is quiet, that way you don't reward the crying.

Good luck, I know it's hard:p

Aww, that would break my heart to see a little one so unhappy :(. I'm no expert but to me yorkies are a special breed that need more constant attention especially when they are so young. If you're loving Bella too much then I'm guilty of loving Sophie too much, too.:)

Thank you for the comments, this is torture. I agree with Yorkies needing more attention:p (she's not full Yorkie, only half) but still.

I love my vet and I trust him a great deal, but I think I'm going to have to decline advice on this call.

Thank you for reiterating what I already felt.

(She has toys spread out all over the livingroom floor) but I'll find just one and try giving that to her just during her alone time (if she ever has any again, lol!)

I'm starting to think we should have considered two puppies instead of just one. :p

I'm going to go play with her until she gets sleepy again.

PS - sorry my posts are spamming the boards, but she's whole nother ball of wax compared to Brussels. Totally different pups...and it's been almost 12 years since we were puppy parents. I need lots of advice and have questions, it should taper off the longer we have her. :)

That kind of makes me mad that your vet said that! If you love playing with your dog, love being with your dog why would he care he should be happy that people care about their pets! I say you keep playing with her as much as you want. I think that little growl they make them they are mad is so cute!!

I think that the vet might be kinda right. You certainly don't want your puppy to have seperation anxiety. My Jersey is 6 1/2 months for the most part only plays with one of our cats and only when the cat is in the mood. He is mostly in the same room as I am, when possible, and does entertain himself the majority of the time. I want him to be a little independent. He has lots of toys to play with and I also do play with him, but not all of the time! When he gets tired of playing and want to curl up to sleep or rest, I put him in his crate. I want him to realize that he will be in his crate at times. So far with him, and with my other dogs, this has worked really well for me.

I agree too! As hard as it is when they are so little and so cute, its so much better for them in the long run because they need to be able to be independent. Later, what will happen if you have no choice but to leave her home alone? Or she has to stay at the vet? If they are too dependant on you, they wont eat well, or rest well without you. ITs not that you cant play with them at all, or even alot! ITs just that they need sometime by them self to learn its okay, and that way its not too stressful and hard on them when something comes up and you do HAVE to leave them. My little guy is very attached to me, but he is also fine, if he has to stay at the vet, or has to be in his kennel. At thats also less stress for you, because you dont have to be worried that they arent okay.

I really like this topic.. I think the vet is both right and worng..what the vet should have said was play less but ween her from play all the time so that both of you can deal with not being with each other. I mean My Brandy just came home from the vet from a long recovery of kennel cough. When I got her it was night and day play hugs play feeding play naps and everything.. when she fell sick I didn't know what to do with out her.. My heart was broken in many pieces.. I feel that if I had did some thing different maybe the anxity would have been less overwelming.. So now I give her some down time.. I have a mess playpen in my livingroom and when I see her tired I put her down in their and leave her... she doesn't like it but I have to give her rest time..

With all due respect, this is NOT a child you have, though you may love it just the same. I think people cause problems with their dogs by not recognizing that they ARE dogs first, then a breed, then a companion. Eventually, your dog will likely develop behaviour issues if you continue to treat it like a human baby and project your anxieties onto it.

IMO you should be training your puppy to be on its own without anxiety, for its own good. If you're really that afraid to leave your puppy alone for a little while, some psychological help might be in order. I'm honestly not trying to be rude by saying that. Perhaps you just have some issues you need to work on so that you can enjoy life without stressing about every little thing.

Even with all the loving we do on Sophie she has never suffered from separation anxiety. When we have to leave her home alone we simply walk out the door with no long goodbyes. We have done this from the time we brought her home. We have listened outside the door and there has never been any crying, whimpering or whining. She knows we'll be back and there will be a treat upon our return for our good girl ;). She will normally just take a nap while we are gone. I know because there is always a warm spot on the chair ;). She is a very well adjusted dog.

I totally get why your vet's advice would sound bad to you (I don't think it was put very well), but a little bit of independence in a dog is definitely a good thing. Also, Bella will feed off of your energy. So if you're upset about walking away from her, she's more likely to be upset about it too.

With Cody, we got him a wire exercise pen and put him in there for stretches of time in the evenings. He could run around, lay down, play or whatever in there and could still see us. But he had to entertain himself for a while. And honestly, it didn't hurt him (or us!) one bit. Of course we still played with him lots... just not every waking second. We don't really use the pen at all anymore, but he's perfectly happy to lay down in the living room and chew on a bone or play by himself if we're busy doing something else now.

There are lots of things we have to get our dogs used to that they don't necessarily like at first. Like having their paws and mouths handled or wearing a harness. And at first your pup may whine and pitch a fit, but you need to persist until she gets used to it. Each of these little ones has a different personality too, so what may have been okay for your other dog might not work out right with this one.

I think you will need to find a happy medium. Puppies need love, play and attention but puppies need to learn that they will be alone sometimes. They will be without you and its okay. Puppies should learn to entertain themselves. All dogs suffer from separation anxiety at some time. I went to Florida on a conference and left my bichon with my mom. My bichon refused to eat the first days but when hunger kicked in , then she ate. I agree we love our pets but they are not our children.

Really??? I say just love you baby the way you want to. You didn't get a puppy so that you could ignore it, did you??? LOL We have a large family with a lot of activity. Our puppies got a ton of attention! But we also have (and have had) multiple dogs at the same time, so they also had each other and played together a lot. I guess you could say our dogs are never really totally alone.

I don't stress about "every little thing", and that was quite unfair. I'm only this way about Bella. She's a tiny puppy and I worry. I thought that was normal? Brussels has full run of the entire house, because I taught him at an early age (like I'm doing with Bella) what can be taken into his mouth and what cannot.

As far as being afraid to leave her on her own, yes I am. It's that I'm scared she'll chew a piece of furniture and choke (or swallow it and have GI complications). There's nothing on the floor itself that she could eat that is bad...it's what she could get into on her own that causes the fear in me. There are also cords used for the entertainment center that look quite inviting for a playful puppy.

Yes, they are dogs, but at the same time, dogs in the wild do not have bits of couches, and recliners and the fabric therein to get stuck in their stomachs.

She's playing with Brussels at the moment, who awoke and decided to let her peck at his legs, and play with her. I'm watching them from time to time when it gets quiet, but for the most part I'm letting them be.

I realize she's not a child...but I also realize that she is a puppy and needs to be taught what she can chew on or gnaw at, and what she can't. How can she learn that if I leave her to her own devices at this age? (And yes, I like to play with her when she's awake, she's a fun puppy). She does know I'm boss though, and she does listen to me.

I'm sorry, but unless she's playing with me, my husband, or Brussels, I just would really rather not let her be on her own doing whatever she pleases in the livingroom.

I don't think that's a psychological problem, or not considering that she is a dog. I think it's being cautious because she's a puppy and learning the human environment.:confused:

I think that everyone's situation is different. I work from home and Smokey is with me or right by me all the time. I occasionally leave him alone when I have to go out, but not for long periods. When his other daddy is home, we dont go many places without him, or one daddy stays with him and I dont see our schedules this changing any time soon. Smokey has always been an extremely well-behaved and low maintenance little boy and we dont see that changing much either. He gets along great with people, is not at all destructive and has no bad habits to speak of.

That said, I take well-meaning advice, including that of our very old-fashioned vet, with a grain of salt. Since raising Smokey aint my first rodeo, maybe his good behavior, fine health and generally effusive personality are partially the result of our laid back style of parenting? We are 'chill' and so is he.

Madam, I say follow your heart and your instincts, but do keep an open mind.

Can you put a play pen in the same room with you and set her in it with some toys and maybe a bully stick? I think puppies and yorkies in general do need more attention then other dogs but I think separation anxiety could be a problem. Callie has never ever been alone in her life and I am the one who does most stuff with her and for her and if I leave her with my grandparents to watch for even a couple of hours she shuts down wont play, interact, eat, drink or potty. Although Callie does not scream, cry or bark when I leave the shutting down becomes a problem like when she went to the vet hospital for surgery they let and wanted me to come pick her up early because she would not do anything. Now my aunt and uncle have a dog that when she was a puppy my aunt would pick her up and carry her around every time she would cry or bark and I don't think that's good all the time because now there dog crys and barks all the time expecting to be picked up with and messed with all of the time and that's just not realistic or possible.

I guess I don't understand this. I am home a good deal of the time and Gracie is an only dog though we do have cats. Gracie is with me most of the time. If i sit down she sits with me. If I take a nap she takes a nap with me. When I am in the kitchen she might sit in the little bed there or she might go in the living room and check what the cats are doing. I mean it's not an issue. I play fetch with her a couple of times a day to make sure she gets enough exercise and we go on a couple of walks a day. I don't see any reason to put her in another room. Maybe you are thinking you have to act like her litter mate and play all the time? Have you become too dependent on her? I don't think it is unusual for a dog to not want to be taken into another room with a stranger especially at the vets! You need to live you life as you would normally and enjoy the little gift that your dog is at the same time. You should not feel obligated to play all the time but I think most of us get dogs for companionship. Just relax and enjoy your life and let your dog do the same.

:thumbup::thumbup:Cogent advice.

Most of us if we don't "obsess about our pups" in one way or another would be a small minority of the members here.

I personally like my dogs to be a tad "independent" of me. All are okay with being left a bit, or a lot as circumstances warrant. But all would prefer to be with me on any day, rain or shine.

My pups are usually with me, when I am reading or watching TV. But also they get left in their crates when I go to work.

None of my dogs, act up a fuss, when we go to the vets, and with one exception even as wee pups did they.

I have to say, I love a well rounded adjusted dog. Calm and confident in almost all circumstances. It is what I hope to give every dog I own.

So OP keep an open mind. Consider that mayhap you would like your pup to be calm, and okay in the vets office, or at the groomers, or oneday if you have to leave him/her with friends or boarding situations; that your pup is okay with this, because you have exposed them to this situation, gently and often when they are young.

Our first dog (not a yorkie) was not socialized properly and we have had 11 years of dealing with the results.I wanted to make sure Ziva was more well rounded. The web info "nothing in life is free" (thank you YT!) was a big help in reminding me that altho I love Ziva like crazy she must be allowed to be a dog. We got Abby a few months ago and she is so well adjusted already! What a pleasure!

Thank you very much to those who left supportive and constructive suggestions, experience, advice and input. I did end up playing with her and then just watching her until she decided she was tuckered out and ready for more puppy Z's.

I want to emphasize that a lot of time is spent with me just observing her as she does her own thing around the livingroom. I'm not constantly playing with her, and I do let her do her own thing, but only under my very watchful eye and with me in the same room in case she does get into something. I'm not 'dependant' upon her for entertainment. I have friends, hobbies, and other forms of joy. However, she's a living, breathing being, and dogs by nature ARE social creatures.

I may not have worded correctly my activities with her. Yes, I'm with her 24/7 during her awake times...but I don't spend every waking moment playing with her. A lot of that time is spent just watching. It's just as much fun to watch what they do as it is to take part in it.

She hates not being in the same room as I am in, and I see no problem with that.

I think I will explain more in-depth to the vet too at her next appointment, as he may have jumped to conclusions like some (mistakenly) did here, as a result of me not explaining properly.

MorkieMomma.. I totally understood what you were saying in your original post. It's a shame that when we are frightened and reach out for help, that some people view this as an opportunity to flame us for the words we choose instead of showing support and sympathy to someone in need.

To all flamers everywhere, Two things;

THINK before you push SEND

and especially in this season,

DO UNTO OTHERS as you would have OTHERS DO UNTO YOU.

You may at some point find yourselves on the receiving end of the torch and you wont like it one bit.

What makes forums so helpful is you can choose which advice makes the most sense and ignore the rest. I think you've gotten a lot of good advice here. Take what makes sense, run it by your vet and see how it works.

I agree that you shouldn't let the puppy have the run of the house until she earns it. In my case, I solved that by setting up a playpen where my pup was comfortable. She liked going in it and had lots of toys to keep her occupied. Then, when I do have to leave her for periods of 5 hours or less, I know she's comfortable in her surroundings and can't get into any trouble.

Best of luck!

Advice, is just advice. So do what works for you.
NMS (New Mom Syndrome) is slang for over parenting. Like sleeping with a hand on the baby to make sure the baby is breathing. What may be overboard to me, may be the norm for someone else. Balance is the way to go. Keep your pup safe and teach them how to feel secure. I strongly suggest you crate train your puppy. There will be times when your dog must be crated. Just to name a few situations, Natural events( like floods, earth quake, tornados, hurricane, wild fire, mud slide, blizzards, war, etc.. when you would have to go to a shelter. ALL Pets must be crated and well behaved (no prolonged whining or barking etc.) When staying at a Vets for surgery, or illness. Air, train or ship Travel, Hotel rooms, Dog shows, and dozens of other times. If your puppy learns that her/ his crate is a happy safe place for rest and naps, they will not stress out when it is required. I endorse and encourage umbilical tethering. That is where you attach a leash to the puppies harness and the other end to you. If you can do this for 2- 4 weeks that would be wonderful, and will make Potty training, chewing habits, and basic training will be off to an excellent start. (A young puppy will quickly learn to follow your lead. Tethering encourages bonding and good social skills.) If the puppy isn't tethered to you, he should be in a safe play pen or his safe crate. Just like a toddler puppies need constant supervision. I suggest this book:
Dog Perfect by Sarah Hodgson

I think vets sometimes get hardened toward animals and relationships with them. Not all but some. I have worked in the human medical profession for years and have seen all too many medical professionals who are hard hearted toward people. I suppose it is a defense mechanism but it is not a good attribute in my mind.
Your further description shows you are not obsessed with the dog. Anyone with a puppy needs to watch them closely while they are potty training. Having a play pen does give you some relief when you have other things you have got to do.
All my dogs both big and small have hated the vets office. They were not neurotic at all but knew that unpleasant things happen there. A vet surely should know that a dog and especially a young dog is going to be afraid at his office.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of your dog and I wish more people realized that is what dogs are for. Everyone has different life styles and if you are happy with yours then don't worry about that vet's remark. He obviously was having a bad day because it was an insensitive remark to make anyway. The personal habits of his patient's owners are not his business.

Ha-ha-ha! I think you'll be just fine and you certainly don't need psychological help. Yorkies follow you everywhere you go in the house. That is just the way they are. They just want to be with their person. There is nothing wrong with you or your puppy. Enjoy her! Use the advice here that you find helpful and ignore the advice that isn't so helpful.:D

Your vet is kind of right- It is very, very hard not to play with a new puppy ever second of the day, but it is better if they learn early on that sometimes they need to be alone. It will make things A LOT easier later on if they need to be put in another room during a party or when a service technician is in the house, or if you need to leave them alone to run errands, etc. Like others, I had a small playpen set up and when mine were puppies I would put them in there during the day for periods of time, when I was cleaning or getting ready or otherwise doing something where I couldn't keep my eye on them all day. If you do it when YOU are busy and not when you are just sitting around it will be much easier on you, lol! Less time to look at those sad eyes and listen to those tiny whimpers. When I did put mine away they never, ever came out while they were crying. They only got taken out when they were quiet. This teaches them that crying does not get them what they want. Trust me you will only break your own heart, puppy will be just fine.