Am I over-reacting?
 

My one cousin & I are very close. She has an 8y.o. & 2y.o. We hang out often, but her son is usually with his father.

Well they came over Saturday (all 3) & my bff was here with her baby. Me & my cousin were in the kitchen cooking us all dinner when Princess screamed. I thought maybe she got stepped on or something, but my friend in the living room said the 2y.o. went up to hurt & fully kicked her, prob under & into her abdomen.:mad::mad::mad: I just ran after Princess as she flew to my room & tried to check & comfort her. She didn't seem to have any pain with my poking & prodding, but she was skittish & almost nippy for most of the night. I just held her or left her in my room when I couldn't. She happily stayed there as she felt safe. When my bff was sitting next to me on the couch w/her baby. When he touched Princess & she did like a half snarl. Those that have seen the videos & pics know that Princess really loves this baby.:( She loves all kids, her tail wags a mile a minute when she hears or sees any kids any where. I don't let them hold her or anything but they'll love on her & play with her gently, etc.

My dilemma is I'm so mad at my cousin for how she treated the situation. Basically she told him to be nice to dogs & don't hit them, but she said this in the same tone of voice you'd offer a kid ice cream with. I know everyone is different with their kids & that's fine, but I just feel like something more should've been done, had him sit on the couch or whatever. It's not like it was an accident-for which I wouldn't expect any discipline, he went across the room toward her & obviously had kicking her on my agenda.

We usually hang out 1-2 times a week & now I don't want him here at all & I almost resent her for not really addressing it. But I don't want to hurt her feelings either & I just don't know how to fix it. Partitioning Princess off when they're here is not an option, she's done nothing wrong & I definitely wont hurt her feelings.

Any advice? Do you think I'm over-reacting?

Ohhh no!. Princess needs to be the focus now -- she needs to be held and loved and comforted. She is probably devastated as are you.

Clearly, the 2 year old child does not have the maturity and temperament to be around Princess and cannot/does not appreciate the dog.

Princess will need your help and love to trust again! What a shock.

I don't think you are over reacting at all. There should have been some sort of punishment as you said , especially when it was done intentionally. And I totally agree as not putting her up when they are there....this is her HOUSE!! I used to put Phoebe in a gated area when we had company and I hated it , but felt like it needed to be done ,not sure if they wanted a little one jumping around and giving kisses . But she is only like that for a short time until she does her greetings and then she's on about her business , so I told hubby I was no longer going to do that if they didn't like dogs then they could stay home:eek: this was her home and they were the visitors:eek: After some cooling down time maybe you two could get together and talk.

I would worry about Princess first, that is her home and she is your baby. If this happened at my house with anyone I would have talked to the child myself no matter who they belong to. I would probably have overeacted and regretted it later but my dogs come first. If someone doesn't like my dogs they don't need to visit my house because if they know me well enough they know how much I love my dogs.

Nope. Princess is your responsibility to protect. If your cousin can not control her children around her, then they don't need to be there. If you are going to continue to have them over, then you will need to put Princess somewhere else for her safety.

I would talk to your cousin and tell her that you were upset with the way she handled the situation.

I don't think that you're over-reacting at all. Princess could have been seriously injured. I would talk to your cousin and explain how you feel.

She's a little dog and can easily be hurt by a 2 year old. The child needs to be taught how to treat animals. If you do decide to have them back over at some point in the future, I think you and your cousin should sit him down and talk about the right way to treat Princess!

Poor Puppy, I'm glad she's ok. I hope this incident didn't doing any permanent damage to her feelings about children.

I am a mother to dogs, cats and kids and I will say very strongly that you did not over react!! I have 2 young ones (4yo and 7yo) plus an 18yo. My kids were raised around dogs and were taught how to "love" them from the beginning. As they have grown they are allowed to do more but I use time out and the old fashioned hand pop on the butt when they cross that line.

As I have explained to my girls, something could happen and then they would feel really bad if the dogs got hurt because they did something they were not suppose to do.

They know that I use that same protective attitude regarding them to make sure they are safe.

Kids have to be taught how to react in the world and how to show respect to other living things.

I truly pray that this all works out and that she can realize that he son needs a little more guidance and You and Princess deserve an apology.

:thumbup:I agree. Princess is your responsibility.

I Understand how you feel and you are not over reacting. A 2 year old child is still in the baby stage and does not fully understand right from wrong. It is the adult's responsibility to supervise and make sure no harm will come to the child or any other pets that are there. Yes it was wrong for the child to do this , and it is even more wrong for the parent to allow it to happen. 2 year olds are impulsive and don't have the necessary skills to comprehend their own behavior. Full responsibility falls upon the adult.
Liittle Princess is now very fearful and may react in a aggressive manner only to protect herself. All this is very upsetting and sad. Little dogs like yorkie's are fragile and can be hurt easily . This is why it is reccomended that yorkie's in homes where young children are are not a good match.
I would advise that the child not come back to your home . It is Princess home and she was hurt. Even though it was a toddler who hurt her that little boy should not be allowed to be near your dog until he can fully understand how to behave correctly around small dogs. The parent did not supervise her child well enough , therefore in my opinion should be held liable. I hope little Princess is ok physically , but now she is scared with good reason. Give her lots of loving and hugs right now. I would take her to the vet to make sure she is ok. The parent should pay the vet costs. I taught preschool over 20 years and have a degree in early childhood development. I will say a prayer for little Princess.

Agreed! Partitioning her into another room, or keeping her in a pen is not punishing her. You will be protecting her.

I am so sorry. :( You are not over-reacting. And I feel the same way you do... I don't like to block Jackson off from the family, he's PART of the family, and if he's in HIS home, I will not lock him up somewhere for the sake of someone else.

I live with my much-younger-than-me sister. She is 3 1/2 now but her terrible 2's were difficult. Jackson and her really love each other and have a great bond but I still didn't trust her. If she got angry at something else, and Jackson happened to be sitting next to her, she'd swing at him or something and I'd have to be right there to tell her 'no!' or get Jackson out of the way. He's always been very understanding of her meltdowns and would put up from a lot with her but I still don't want him to have to, it's my job to protect him first and foremost. Whenever she wants to play with Jackson, I still supervise even though she's older now.

Your family comes first and then bff. Your baby is at risk around the children of a person who cannot seriously teach this children not to hurt small animals. I would have a very serious talk with bff and she really really is your friend, she will get it. If not, and your bff is that important to you, just keep Princess far away from that child! Next kick could take out an eye!

Not overreacting at all! Another careless kick from an unsupervised 2 year old could be the end of your baby, or at the very least a lifetime of fear and hurt.......your house, your dog, your rules!

Oops, I think I said bff when meant cousin.

I agree with you. My friends and family know how I am about my girls. And if they don't like them then I can't help that. I will not punish my girls when they have done nothing wrong by locking them away. But I must add, how could they not love Miss Phoebe?! :D

OP you are not over reacting at all and I am so sorry you had to deal with this. As a matter of fact, I think you handle the situation very nicely. The 2 year old has to be taught not to do this because at that age they don't know any better. I would have a talk with your cousin and let her know how you feel. Explain to her that Princess is your family. Hopefully the situation will never present itself again.

Don't feel bad, I don't think you are overreacting at all. I would feel the same! I hope you get the chance to talk to your cousin and let her know how you feel. She needs to address the issue. Your baby is just as important as her child is to her so she should understand your concerns. Plus, what if she visits someone else that has a dog and her child tries to do the same thing and in return gets bitten! That would be terrible, so it's best to address the situation now to avoid any future problems. I hope your baby is resting and feeling better. :)

You make very good points! The only thing I would add is OP, talk to your cousin when you're calm. Sometimes emotions get in the way and the message gets lost.

I don't think you are over reacting at all. I would probably have scolded the child myself if my cousin didn't do it properly. If you hang out that much together you would be close enough that your cousin wouldn't get mad if you did so. And she would know how much Princess means to you. But that's just me. I hope you got to talk to her and all turns out well. I also have a cousin that is like my best friend.

If the kid had kicked a 6 month old baby, would the friend have reacted differently?

If you had a 6 month old and the baby crawled and you were cooking, would you either put the baby in a playpen or put up a gate to keep the baby out of the kitchen and out of harms way??

I would definitely approach the cousin. My house, my rules and if you don't like it, STAY HOME!

I had a HUGE fight with one of my best friends over me scolding her child for grabbing and pulling my dog's hair.

She felt I should have let her handle it, that my dog should be well enough trained to tolerate a grabby child, I felt she should have handled it and that her child should be trained to respect and act properly round animals.

She left my house saying she'd not return until I apologized or if she did it would be without her child.

Well a week later she called; apologized, her child went to grandpa's pulled grandma's dog's tail and got bit...she was so glad my dog was so well trained and didn't bite, she'd start working on training her child...so her child would be allowed back at my and grandma's house.

She called tonight & I didn't take it, I was still so mad but I'm coming around. It may be touchy to say it, but when I do call I'm going to tell her I'm not comfortable with him being here at all until he's old enough to understand he shouldn't deliberately hurt living things esp. I know each child is different but my dd never intentionally hurt an animal at any age.

I'm not going to walk around on egg shells trying to keep tabs on Princess every second in her own house & sadly I don't think I can count on her to enforce any rules regarding her. She knows what Princess means to me. The reason she comes over here is because I don't like to leave her home alone when I could be with her.

As for how she would react if it was a human baby, sadly I don't think the outcome would've been much different. Regarding me not putting Princess up in the first place, it hasn't been an issue with him, ever, and an adult & my teen were in the same room. We were probably 8 feet away in the kitchen. After not ever seeing this, then him casually walking up to her I don't think many people would've been on high alert & expected it. My bff & dd wouldn't stand for any mistreating of her in their presence.

I'll talk to her tomorrow & hopefully get this off my mind.

Good luck. Glad princess is okay!

I agree with everyone else. You're not overreacting. The only thing I'd add is that if the child returns, spend some time with him yourself to teach him the right way to interract with a dog. I wouldn't leave them alone without your supervision, though, until he proves he can be trusted.

I don't think you over reacted. I also think you need to talk to your cousin or this will grow into something that could cause you two not being friends anymore.

I think the 2 year old needed DISCIPLINE, she need to be taught how to act around small animals. The 2 year old did not really know what she did was wrong, they really don't have empathy at that age and it is up to her mom to teach her what is acceptable. 2 year olds also imitate what they see around them... that makes you think!!!

As to crating or separating your baby, it is better than her being hurt again. If she nips your cousins baby the cousin will be all mad and blame you.. without thinking why she nipped. So for now, the 2 year old and your baby do not need to be together without you there.... period:) imo

Good luck, keep us posted

I very much believe you were in the right!
I had a kind of same thing happen but Sakura wasn't kicked. My cousin and her little 3 yr old were over and my cousin where over. Sakura loves playing with the 3 yr old and the two of them are constantly playing together. And while I'm not saying the child is bad but she will pull things with her mom that she would never pull on me when I watch her. Well that day she grabbed a good chunk of Sakura's fur on the top of her head and pulled it out. Sakura cried and I when over and picked her up and saw the fist full of hair in the child's hand and when into teacher mode. I worked as a teachers aide for almost 6 years. I made her sit on the couch and after about a minute I made her say sorry to Sakura and they played the rest of the day with Sakura keeping a eye on the child. My cousin, who doesn't like any kind of animal but she tolerates Sakura the most, didn't say a word. But I don't thinks she is too happy with me at the moment. But I did what I had to to make sure my puppy wasn't going to be hurt again.

Totally agree:thumbup:

I have to tell you, I have always put Zhoie in her house (cage) when little ones are around unless I'm holding her and I let them pet her. If I'm up and busy she is in her house.

Well, my grandson about 3yrs came to visit (they don't come ofter with the distance) immediately he ran to her house and grab it. stomping it up and down on the floor. I had to take Zhoie out and quite her.

But the sad part is prior to this, she loved kids....now she depises them. Especially toddlers and I don't know how to help her overcome it.

I hope your sweetie still likes being around small ones.

When it comes to my babies I don't care whose feelings I hurt. If somebody's child ever hurt my any one of my babies they would be thrown out. In a few weeks my friend's two nieces are coming for the day. One is 3 and the other is almost 2. You can be sure my dogs will be put into their coralle for the day. I don't trust any child around dogs.

I have a small child (8) and her friends frequent our house. Troy really likes kids and seeks them out when he has the opportunity. Especially babies.

Point 1: The child should have had a talking to. Either it was from you or his mom. I understand where the child's mom is coming from with her soft tone, but a time out or something similiar.

Point 2: I don't think it's fairfor you to not want him in your home. He's 2 and although it was intentional, he wouldn't know how to treat an animal unless he's taught. This is where you and his mom can work together to ensure he treats animals properly.

Additionally as it comes to Princess. You're doing right by assuring her and trying to comfort her. She will also need mending so she doesn't become more fearful of children. This is a learning opportunity for both you, the child, his mom and for your yorkie baby.

I agree that it may not be fair to exclude the child from coming here. At the same time I'm not going to lock Princess in the bedroom or something either. And for them to be in a common area together I think that would cause both Princess & I a lot of stress. I agree he does need to know the correct way to treat an animal but it seems I cannot rely on his mom to teach & enforce it. Since I am still fuming pretty good 4 days later I don't think I'd be of the calmest mind to address it myself. I don't know how much he would learn just being told now when the situation's not right there. IMO I just don't think they can be around each other at all. I'm hoping to discuss this with her today.

I understand how you feel. My little Cricket loved children until one day a friend of mine brought her young son to my house. Cricket was excited to see him and they were playing together. Out of the blue, he grabbed his bottle and started hitting my dog (it was sort of like a large sippy cup). I thought his mother would be as horrified as I was and step in and stop it, but she did not. I had to step in and grab my dog bc she didn't do ANYTHING. Ever since then, Cricket was afraid of children. She never shook it the rest of her life.

You have to protect your dog. The child is too young not to be closely supervised w a pet, and obviously his mother is not providing that supervision. I think I would tell her you do not want your dog to become fearful of children, since she is such a good-natured girl, and that you think there needs to be closer supervision bc of his age - not bc he is not a nice boy. If she will not provide the supervision, you will have to step in and she will have to be ok w it or maybe until he gets a little older and more reliable the two of you should stick to lunch w grownups - no children or pups.