Advice on Yorkie's living conditions
 

So I got a Yorkie out of the blue. She was given to me, and it did caught me off guard but I love my little Lexi. My boyfriend brought her home early February as my "valentine's present." Since i've trained her to "sit" "down," my boyfriend believes we're going to "share" her. Since it was my valentines present so i assumed she was to stay at my house unless she needs some house sitting if I'm away too long.

Anyhow he believes that Lexi would be "just fine" going to two different houses during the week or every other week. I want to keep her at one location but he's stubborn and doesn't see it that way.

She's happy and learning where to potty at my house plus she's really good at listening to me. Whenever she comes back home it's like I have to retrain her all over again.

What can I do? or what can I tell him if she's going to continue letting her living like this? or should I try to change his mind to stay at my house?

All she does at his house is sleep and cuddle, turn over the garbage and tear up the pee-pad, it's like there are no rules in his house and she rules the house.

I'm at my wits end! Maybe I should just not keep Lexi at my house anymore and tell him he can have full responsibility and leave me out of the picture. I just feel guilty if i abandoned her, we were bonding so well.

Dogs can do fine moving back and forth as long as you are both consistent with her training, so that she isnt confused by different cues.

I split my time between and apartment in the city, and a house upstate... mine move back and forth with me, are potty trained in both places, etc.

That's good to know they are ok in two locations, but she doesn't get the same training...it's totally opposite. Sometimes he'll sit there playing "warcraft" for hours while I feel Lexi needs more attention so she doesn't destroy the place and will potty in the right place. She tends to leave lots of suprises for him.

We had no problem with our dogs going from AZ to IL and back and forth. Dogs are adaptive, just need a little time. All they want is to be with their owners. My big dog would be fine living in a tent with me...the Yorkie would at least want a large furnished house!

If it came down between me and the Yorkie, my wife would pack my bags and send me on my way, after 37 years of marriage. Sounds like you 2 need to have a heart to heart talk!

Wow, that's a tough situation! I feel sorry for you and I understand what you mean about it being a pain in the butt when she comes back and is almost "untrained." How frustrating for you. Is there no getting thru to your boyfriend about her just staying in ONE house (i.e. yours).

I do think it makes for more stability for the dog to stay in one house. I see no problem with her going with you every time you go to your boyfriends house, and then just coming back home with you. If she was given to you as a gift, technically she IS your dog. It sounds like you guys are bonding really well. If your boyfriend insists on doing this switch-a-roo thing... you should make it clear he NEEDS to upkeep with her training and not let her get away with everything (funny the GUY is the one with a soft spot for a lil' girl yorkie ;) typically, huh?) So she at least has some consistency in her life. I know there are couples who have split up, and actually get "custody" of the dog and do the every other weekend, etc type thing just like a kid. So it is possible.

I kinda know what you're feeling because I spend maybe 2 nights a week over at my dad's place (they have 2 other dogs) and whenever Jackson is over there, all my rules go out the window because my dad totally spoils him and doesn't really have any rules for his dogs, so of course Jackson follows. But I'm always sleeping there with him.

Good luck!

Thanks I might have to do that! I just don't want to come off as selfish. Sometimes when you speak to someone about situations like these, they take it the wrong way. We all know she's cute and cuddly, but someones got to give her rules to abide by.

Yup! now I know what it would be like if we actually had KIDS! He would definitely spoil them to death! LOL
Haha! I believe we're already fighting over her...I told him yesterday as a joke "we may have to go to court for this puppy!" ;) Too bad we don't live together yet. It would be a lot better!
Hopefully when I speak to him later he'll understand. Thanks!

btw...does Jackson listen to you when you're there. I feel Lexi knows how to behave when I'm around because when she does something she knows she's not supposed to, she runs to her bed and sits there quietly till I call her to play again.

Perhaps he is so in love with a Yorkie that he should get a male puppy for his house. That way when he comes over the two puppies can play and vice versa when you go over there :)

I totally Agree! I should tell him to get a boy yorkie :) We'll see if he could find any for a good deal! or if he'd agree to that!

When they are in training - one location. After they're trained there, then you can go from there with training in add'l homes. Consistency is the key with training a puppy.

May I ask a question? If he gave the puppy to you as a present for Valentine's Day, but believes you are going to share her, what happens if you two break up?

Yea I wonder that myself...but I can't tell too much into the future, but if anything like that happens I might be more heartbroken because of Lexi.

Sweetie, I just wanted you to think about that now. I was afraid of what you may not have thought about. I think you really need to have a talk and iron these things out now and not later. You can't see into the future. That is true. But you can plan for the "what ifs.":)

Thanks! Ill straighten things out this weekend. I'll keep you posted for good news :)

Wow, what a tough decision to be in! This wouldn't work for me either, so I can understand why you are upset. I think that I would tell your boyfriend you need Lexi to live with you fulltime, but he is welcome to take her on outings, and obviously you two must hang out alot if you're boyfriend/girlfriend so I'm sure he'd see her regularly anyways. OR, he could move in! Maybe that's what he wants, and that's why he keeps stealin' your Lexi LOL! It seems kind of weird that he gave you a gift, and then expects you to share. :rolleyes:

If Lexi hasn't perfected her basic puppy skills, I see this going back & forth w/rules-no rules resulting in a troubled/confused adult dog. The going back & forth wouldn't be such a big deal if the he followed through with the rules.

BF did give her to you as a gift, right? Does he take back all his gifts to you? Personally, I think he needs to grow up. I wouldn't personally tolerate his behavior. I had to get tough w/dh when we got Roxy as I wasn't going to have another dog of any kind who didn't know how to behave. He didn't like me much for awhile, but that's OK. He finally realized I DID actually know something! Have a good heart to heart talk with bf & come to some kind of agreement that works for both of you or kiss him goodby & you keep Lexi.

Yup it's been hard. I came home and because it was quiet I immediately started crying and I feel kind of pathetic.
My bf is at work now and Lexi is with his auntie at his house, he refused to drop her off at my house today when I was home. My bf can be immature and stupid. He never takes back everything but he can take back that cutie pie in my life. I already told him I wanted to talk to him and he probably knows why. He just got immediately upset and asked if it was over Lexi, like it was no big deal and that I was being stupid. Anyways...i'll wait till he comes home tomorrow.

If you were my daughter, you would already know what I would tell you! All this drama already? Key words..Immature and stupid, refused, take back, upset, and no big deal.

I seriously hope it works out with you and the pup, but as far as your boyfriend,,,well, I had best not comment.

Have confidence in yourself. You aren't being pathetic. You are being human. Honestly, I think he is pathetic. I know you are already attached to Lexi and I hope that he can be decent enough to let you keep the lil girl since he gave her to you. Whatever happens, we are all here for you. OK?:)

THANKS GUYS!!! you are all THE BEST!!!

HEY EVERYONE!
Lexi came back home permanently! My boyfriend and I got into an arguement and he took Lexi away for a week. I was devastated and after a long week without Lexi, I finally got her back.

My only problem now is that she's really aggressive and bites A LOT!
She doesn't listen and she's like a lil monster... =(
please tell me it's not too late to enforce good habits again...

It's not at all too late. That is why she needs only ONE HOME!

She'll be just fine. You're just going to need to spend more time with her and be very patient and consistent in her training. She is confused and why shouldn't she be? She's been all over the place and heaven only knows what experiences she's had. Be understanding and patient, but firm. Use treats as rewards for good behavior. Don't call her a monster. She's not. The people who have done this to her are the monsters.

Thanks!
I just feel so bad it got this far! When I was trying to prevent it, things just heated up for no good reason. Some people just don't understand how yorkies are to be trained and treated.
Being grabbed and consistently cuddled viciously doesn't really make them want to be touched anymore =( hopefully she'll see I'm not like that.
But i'm going to keep trying!

It's not to late! Your boyfriend was probably doing the guy thing...making her play rough with him. I don't know what it is about guys that make them think it's okay to make a dog play or be aggressive :rolleyes: Keep correcting her and telling her "no bite!" Be patient and firm. She'll come around.

Glad to see that you got your Lexi back. How old is she now? Is the boyfriend still in the picture? If he is don't be surprised if he still tries to snatch her if you ever call it quits. Immature people are like that.
It is hard from dogs and children to learn when they are learning from two people giving different signals. Now that she is with you if you are consistant she should get the picture.

Good luck!

I asked him if he was going to take her back, he said no, I told him I'm making all the decisions for her, and he said, ok. BUT for some reason I still think he would snatch her again. =( hopefully my intuition is wrong.
As for our relationship. He gave her back to keep the relationship a float. I haven't had a decent convo since I got her back. So I will have to see.
I also made up a contract for him to sign, so that it officially signs Lexi over to me, and i'll make all her decisions, but he refused to sign the paper, so i'm trying to trust him, but I'm still uneasy with this situation. I hate seeing Lexi so mixed up.
When i got her back they said she wasn't eatting, and when I looked at her bowl of food, it's like they don't wash her bowl, it was filled with food more half way, when she gets less than quarter of that bowl. And it was filled with treats! I don't even believe she had fresh food! I'm so upset she had to live like that.
She's even having a hard time eating right now. So I'm going to the vet to see if she's ok. Hopefully she eats later on.

Glad you got the pup back, and she will be fine.

Now forgive me for saying, but I would say you need to "smart" up and dump the guy. It will not get better, only worse for you. You are not in a sound and long term relationship. Hope it works out for you.

I suggest getting a second one. :D Can't have too many yorkies.

I think that while Lexi is still a puppy she should be raised in one house only especially if your boy friend doesn't train her. Then, if he still insists, let him take her once in a while, but if Lexi was a present, - she is yours.
:animal-pa

He claimed he's getting one for himself now. I haven't seen that puppy yet, but that would be more relief for me. He wanted to get me a different yorkie and keep Lexi, but you cant just replace a puppy. It was her personality that meshed with me and all Yorkies have their own little ways. We'll see how his yorkie turns out ;)
Mine will be super social and polite. (After her last set of shots today ;))

He claimed he's getting one for himself now. I haven't seen that puppy yet, but that would be more relief for me. He wanted to get me a different yorkie and keep Lexi, but you cant just replace a puppy. It was her personality that meshed with me and all Yorkies have their own little ways. We'll see how his yorkie turns out ;)
Mine will be super social and polite. (her last set of shots is today ;))