How to muster the strength to let go???
 

Hi. Some of you might have read my posts over the last year regarding my beloved Chewy and how he circles all his waking hours. He is 15 yo (be 16 in November) and he still circles and has been for a year now. The vet has determined his problems are neuro-related. I won't bore you with all the details, but my poor baby is just falling apart (no strength to stand to eat and poop, frequent accidents in the house and even while he's circling, unusual sleep patterns (up all night and sleeps all day), etc. However, he still eats and drinks and isn't in any pain; which is why I've let this go on (even though the Vet says "he wouldn't have let it go one this long). The reason for my post is: How do you muster the strength to do the right thing and let him go? I feel like I'm giving up on him and even murdering him by euthanizing him. How do I know Chewy is okay with this and ready to let go too? I'm a Christian and I've been struggling with the commandment of "Thou Shall Not Kill"...do you think God is including euthanizing a pet due to him not living a happy-dog's life anymore?? I certainly appreciate your advice, comments, stories...

I think that God would want you to do what is best for your pet. If it would be cruel to keep Chewy alive, then I believe that God would want you to let him go. You really have to follow your gut instinct on this one. With my last pet, I KNEW it was time for her to go...I brought her into my vet, and she disagreed with me and wouldn't put her down. About a month later, my girl ended up having seizure after seizure after seizure until my hubby raced home from work so that I could bring her to the vet. The vet said it was time, and we put her to sleep. I WISH that I would have followed my gut instinct and had her euthanized the month prior. It was unfair for her to have to suffer that last month, and to go through all of those seizures on that day. I would have rather that her last day on earth be more comfortable and a happy memory.

Good Luck with your decision. Just follow your heart. You will know when it's time.

Such good advice and a great perspective on what God most likely would want. Thanks so much for sharing your story. ~Shelby & Chewy

No one knows when it's time but you, the one who has loved him through good times and bad for his entire life. You'll know by looking in his eyes when the pain of living has become too much. In the wild, nature makes that decision. But we took them out of nature, so we inherit the responsibility of stopping the suffering when there's nothing else we can do for them. It is not an easy decision, but you'll know when it's time. My heart aches for you. Just know that he will never really leave you. You'll have memories to last a lifetime.

Beautifully put. Thanks for helping make some sense out of such a difficult situation.

Two good pieces of advice already given. There's nothing I can add except to listen to him, he'll tell you when it's time. But you've got to be open to hearing him say it. You don't want him to suffer and keep him around just so that you don't have to loose him. It's one of the hardest decisions you'll make, but as a pet owner one we must be willing to make. They've given us their heart and trust us to watch over them, we can't let them down when they need us the most. It's never easy, but often doing the right thing isn't. Just remember all the love & fun you've had together. Come here and share as many stories as you want, it helped me to heal when I had to make that decision for Annie a year and a half ago.

You Will Make the Right Decision
 

Any decision made in love is the right decision. It is always so very difficult and many of us have made it more than once. In the end, the pain goes away and warm, cherished memories, flood your heart. You'll have some tough days ahead even though you've made a good choice for your boy. It's all part of the journey with our pets. He knows he's been loved and well cared for, I truly see this as the final act of love we share with our beloved pets. We allow them to go peacefully and with dignity. You are not alone.
Come here for care and support. We'll get you through this difficult time.

:thumbup: Please do come here. Samantha and I send you yorkie kisses and hugs.

Vivian

You'll know when to make the right decision
 

I put down our beloved cat Ginger in December 2000. She was 16 years old. She got so sick so quickly . . .she stopped eating, she slept all the time . . .I sat with her one day and I talked with her and told her that it was ok to let go . . .that I loved her . . .You'll just know when it is time . . they have this look . . .like they've lost their spirit . . .its hard to describe . . .but I knew it was time when she just looked empty . . .It was the hardest thing to do . . .but I knew she'd be in a better place and not be sick . . .:(

Many hugs to you!

My Lady is almost 14 and I know how you feel. I am terrified of having to make that decision when the time comes.

This is a wonderful poem:

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

-- Unknown

Good luck to you. I know this is very hard for you.

I truly understand how hard it is to make such a decision. However,
think of the quality of life your pet has and if you would want to live
this way. Think of how he used to be as to how he is now. We make
decisions in their best interest all their lives to keep them well and happy.
When the time comes that they no longer have a quality to their lives,
even tho they are not in pain, it is up to us, as their caretaker's, to make
it better for them. When you feel this in your heart you will know it
is the right time. You will remember the wonderful memories the two of you made, these memories will bring you comfort.
Remember your beloved pet will once again be whole and healthy when
he get's to Rainbow bridge. May that image get you through this most
difficult time.

Hugs,

When I found out Chipper had cancer the vet told me that he had 6-8 weeks left. He told me that I would soon have to make that difficult decision to let go. I asked the vet, how will I know when it's time and he just said you will know. The day came when Chipper told me. I just looked into his eyes and I just knew that it was time. His beautiful brown eyes spoke to my heart. I still cry when I remember that soulful look but I know that Chipper said it was OK to let go.

I am so sorry for what yu are going through. We have felt your pain. We had to put down our yorkie "Baby" who was 15 years old. She had always been so active and enjoyed sailing with us every week-end. Her sight was going, her potty habits could no longer be controlled and at night when she sept with us we could hear a low moan when she changed positions. It was time. It hurt beyond words but for Baby's sake we had to let go. I held her all the way to the vets and my husband, bless his big heart, held her, told her what a god dog she was and stroked her for several minutes after the shot and after her heart had stopped. If we had not done the right thing for Baby we would have only been thinking of ourselves. Baby lives on in our hearts forever but is now sleeping in peace with no pain. God Bless you and Chewy and take solace in the fact that Chewy loves you and will be at peace with no pain.
:rbyorkie:

What a lucky little guy Chewy is, to have enjoyed almost 16 years of life! You must have so many wonderful memories of him thru the years. Hold on to those now, as you try to know the right time to let him rest in peace. That will be your final gift to him, and I DO believe ending suffering when quality of life is so diminished is a gift.

I've only had to make that decision once before, and may face it again as my 14 year old Schnauzer reaches his end. It is a tough one, but I agree that you will know when, and it's ok. May God be with you.

And, LadyMom, your poem is so priceless, I'm printing it for future reference, just in case I need strength too someday.

I don't think of it as murdering our pets. More like sending their sweet souls home. Animals have such kind souls, they truly deserve a soft exit from our world, it is the least we can do for all their tolerance and devotion.

I wish you peace with this.

Mary:animal-pa

I felt uncomfortable with euthanasia after having my first Yorkie euthanized at 16 years old. She had osteosarcoma in her jaw which made eating difficult, and she would bleed from the mouth occassionally. I thought she might have another month or so, or bleed out in front of me, at any moment.

So when my Maltese was nearing the end (tumor near the heart) I vowed to let him pass peacefully at home. I slept on the floor with him on days he wasn't doing well. The day came when I awoke to his whining. He had to pee but didn't have the strength any longer to get up. I helped him and reassured him and held him close. He was such a fighter, he wouldn't let go. His little body shook with agonal breaths for almost an hour before he finally lay still, and I knew he had gone. Again, this was not how I thought it would happen. It was not calm and peaceful, he did not go quietly into the night or morning. I was glad that I got to spend his final moments with him in the privacy of our home. But I think he would have been much more comfortable at the vets office, slowly induced to sleep.

Needless to say, I will euthanize my pets in the future when their quality of life is no longer good. It is the last nice thing I can do for them. The final decision of their lifetime, I can choose to send them peacefully and painlessly on their way. My final, loving gesture to say I care about you, and I will always love you, even in death, forever.

My beloved husband of 20 years passed 3 weeks ago today. He died in agony, even with massive doses of narcotics. I prayed that he would go and go quickly, just to ease his pain. There was nothing I could do for him.

In the past, when my beloved furry kids were nearing the end of their lives, I was able to relieve them of the pain and humiliation of fading life. I probably held onto them longer than I should have to maintain their dignity, but I didn't allow them to suffer. I took them to the vet's, wrapped them in their favorite blankets; while the vet was getting things ready, I crooned in their ears and told them what marvelous dogs they had been and how much I was going to miss them, skritched their ears and when life faded from them, the last thing they heard or saw was love from me.

THEN I cried - but not until I knew they couldn't hear me: I didn't want them to be afraid because *I* was upset.

Many vets will make house calls to allow both pet and human to be in warm, loving surroundings at the end. They can then take your pet for cremation, and return him to you in a few days. When they come home, an amazing peace settles over you: the family is intact again.

I couldn't make the decision for my husband that I can make for my pets: I couldn't end his pain, the agony of a death that a good man should not have suffered. I CAN keep my pets from suffering. I will never let my pets suffer when I can ease them gently from this life.

It's not murder; you're not killing him: you're offering the final act of love and compassion by allowing him to pass while he still has some of his dignity left. You get the strength to make the decision from the love you have for the wee beastie, from a love that doesn't want him to suffer, no matter what the cost to your own, personal feelings. It's what's best for him.

I had to go through this in January. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. She was 16 years old and my very first pet.
She wasn't responding anymore and basically didn't really know where she was at all. She was on meds for severe arthritis of her spine and legs. Had lost alot of weight in a matter of weeks. Her legs and body were very weak and she would fall everywhere even in our pool.

There are many pet lovers at my workplace and I would ask them how will I know when it's time and every single one of them told me the same thing "You will know - she will let you know" I didn't understand what they meant because she wasn't even all there anymore:( Vet had said she was senial.

I am also a christian so I prayed about it alot and asked God to please help me with this. My prayer was always "Lord please take her naturally in her sleep when it's time"

Someone told me don't talk to her just look into her eyes and you will know.

I received a call at work that she wasn't doing good. I rushed home and found her stuck in a corner in the rain. My daughters had been trying to get her in house and she wouldn't stay. I looked at her and started to cry - she looked so thin and lost.

I remembered what that person had told me so I took her face in my hands and just looked into her eyes without saying a word I just thought it in my mind -" I told her how hard this was for me but that I needed her to let me know because I didn't want her to suffer anymore and I didn't want to be selfish I told her how much we loved her and how special she was to all of us"

For the first time in a long time she actually looked at me and started to lick my hands and face. There was also this amazing peace in her eyes and then I knew she was telling me it was ok.
I started to cry and I told her I know sweetie - I know thank you for letting me know - I know you're tired.

I kissed her and held her for very long time then she turned around and fell asleep. We drove to the vet's office she was still very peaceful when we got there and she went to doggie heaven that night. I still had very hard time after that but deep down inside I knew I had done the right thing.

You will know when It's time. They do let us know.

I hope this helps you - my prayers are with you for strength and peace.

I'm so very sorry that you have to make such a decision, however I'm so grateful that Chewy has such a wonderful mama that loves him enough to think about his life like this! He must really feel love and you two must have many many happy memories. Hold them close to your heart! They will always dance in your mind! Hugs!

What a hard thing to go through. We have lost 2 in 2yrs. and to make that choice is hard. With both, because we love our dogs soooo much it felt unbearable. I too am a Christian but I know that God wants us to take care of his creation and they are also, the Bible says, are subject to man. I believe we are to take care of them and if we have to help them go in the end it is with love. Little Mandy had cancer and on the Saturday nite we had to have her put down, she had a seizure. After seeing that I would have not wanted her to ever have to go through that again. I felt like my heart was being tore out but I knew it was the best and loving thing we could do for her. I pray you will have strength and know in your heart when and how to handle the situation. God bless.

First pic is right after she had kissed my face and hands and assured me it was ok
Second is me saying I love you thank you for letting me know

It's very hard for me to go back and see this pics - I am in tears. i really wanted you to see her peaceful face.

(i was crying and trying to take pics w my cell - I'm glad I did or I wouldn't have this pics)

what beautiful pics! she looks very happy and peaceful there, you BOTH do! :)

You have a unique perspective. Thanks for sharing that personal story. It may just guide a lot of us into making the right decision for our pets.

I can imagine it's hard for you to look back at those pics. I'm bawling like a baby looking at them myself.

Thank You for sharing - I wish I would've read this back in january. It would of helped so much

I know how you feel. I had to put a cat down that had cancer many years ago and I never did it again. I can't tell you the guilt that I felt so when my Persian was sick last year, I refused to put him down and glad I did because he passed away in a few days from getting real sick and couldn't stand so I had those few extra days with him.

It is a personal decision and I wondered the same thing because of the "Thou Shalt Not Kill' commandment.

I am boo hoo crying after reading this! I am glad she is at peace and you made the decision together.

I too was brought to tears by this post, and this thread. These are heartbreaking stories as well as heartwarming. To put your desire to have your baby with you aside to allow your baby a bit of peace is heartwarming, the letting go part is what breaks my heart.

My heart goes out to the both of you. What a difficult decision to make. Your precious memories of laughing and sharing enjoyable times with him will be yours forever. It's so very painful to think about actually letting go. Memories you hold on too, the body we let go. lt's so very sad, so sad. I really hope you have the peace in your heart to really know he'll be ok. Prayers for you both.