The Death of Smokey
 

:cry: Hello-- I am new here and I guess my first entry will be for my beloved Smokey. It is a little therapuetic to be able to write something where people will understand my pain. I loved him, and the guilt I feel becasue I left him with people I thought would take care of him.

I know it was difficult for them also so I don't blame them. It was an accident. It is difficult to find closure because he is till at the vet. I need to decide quickly to bury him or cremate him. I just don't know. All I know is that I never felt such pain for an animal. I have been immobalized and not able to sleep because he always curled up next to me.

When I reach for him he is not there. I just don't know what to do. I just want Smokey to know that I loved him, and that I did not leave him. I was able to see him briefly before he passed on, but just seeing him and know that he was in so much pain for four hours, slowing dying it is just more than I can bare.

The tears are flowing, but my heart is forever void of my little baby. I will never find another Smokey. If anyone can believe it, he was so much like me. He was a silly little dog, and he brought so much laughter to my soul. I feel so empty without him. I don't know if I should get another dog, I just don't know, the pain is to deep now. I know that I have to get over this some how. I just pray that God is holding my baby and and letting him know that one day mommie will join him.

I am sorry for your loss.

thank you so much

I very sorry for your loss of Smokey. It's hard to believe now, but with time the memories won't always bring tears...it just seems to pass so slow.

Someday maybe...you may decide to open your heart to another.

I'm so sorry :(

I'm sorry for the loss of your little Smokie.

Im sorry for your loss

So sorry about Smokey. I can tell how much you loved him. I hope you find peace.

awww....... I'm so sorry for your loss!!!! How tragic!!!
Like others have said the pain will ease up....but right now...don't expect yourself to just get over it....Your little Smokey was obviously your baby...And WE SOOOO Understand how you feel! I can tell you that opening up my heart to another baby...when I was ready...did help soooooooooo much to ease the pain...and the loss I felt...when we lost our Quinny.

Please know that you're in my thoughts...You couldn't have found a better place...where people truly understand the heart break you feel!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain your feeling because I too lost my 13 year old boy to cancer last March. I cried every day until I decided that the only way I was going to be able to move on was to find another little yorkie baby. Four months after losing Chipper, Piper came into my life. I love this little girl as much as I did my Chipper and she makes me very happy. I did have Chipper cremated and he's has a special place in my home and I feel that a little piece of him is always with me. I know your heart is breaking but Smokey knows how much you loved him and he'll never be forgotten.

I am so glad that you decided to post. I hope your guilt will fade away soon as this is not your fault and Smokey knows that ~ he loves you too ~

Please know that he is not in any pain and that God is holding him for you, he is telling your baby that his Momma loves him very much and that you want him to go and play with all the other babies there and that you WILL meet again....he will be waiting for you :animal-pa

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Smokey.

Oh I am so sorry about Smokey.
With time you will not hurt so badly but smokey will always live in your heart.

I am so sorry for the loss of your little baby. I can relate to your pain as I have felt it before. And yes he is with God. May you find comfort and peace in time to come.:animal-pa

I am so sorry for your loss. I want to welcome you, and tell you we're here for you.

I am so sorry....:( RIP Smokey...:rbyorkie:

I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Smokey. He knows how much you love him, and I'm sure he knows it wasn't your fault. He is in a better place now where he isn't in any pain. I hope you can find peace and comfort in all the wonderful memories the two of you shared together.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found us because there are a lot of people on here that have experienced losing one of these precious ones. Including me. I lost my first yorkie when she was 10 yos. The anniversary of her death is coming up--3/17. It is a very painful thing to bare. I remember feeling like I was suffocating in the days that followed her death. I just didn't think I could get through it. She was my first "child" I struggled with infertility for 9 years and she literally was my child. She got me through some very dark days. It was a few years before I decided to get another yorkie and now I have two. I am so glad that I did! My main reason for not doing it sooner was fear of having to do this all over again someday. It still scares me but the joy that my 2 bring me everyday is so worth the heart break that I know will come one day.

Take time. You will know when and if the time comes to get another. Only you can know for yourself. It might be right away for you or it might be a while, but you will know. Believe it or not, some day you will feel joy when you think of your beloved Smokey again. I know it doesn't seem possible now but it will happen...some day. Don't let guilt consume you. He knew you loved him. He knew you were there. They give unconditional love--feel it now.

Welcome to YT.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. I wish I had words to help you through this. Our thoughts are with you.

Im so sorry about Smokey. This is the right place for you to be, someone will always be here to listen and lend a helping hand...Lissette

My heart breaks for you, sending you lots of love. I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for the loss of you sweet baby Smokey, I can feel the pain in your words. I to can relate to the grief of losing a furkid. In my case is was my beloved cat of 10 years.

I hope you understand that the memories that are making you sad right now will someday bring a huge smile to your face. It takes awhile and working through the pain to the time when you will smile takes some time.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please as someone mentioned comeback to YorkieTalk, some of the stories of these Yorkies just make me smile.

I am so so sorry for your pain hun. I completely understand. Take care of yourself in this time of hardships.

I feel your pain.We lost our Mya Mia on March 2 in a horrific accident.She was just shy of being 5 months old.We miss her dearly.So sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you right now because I lost a little girl ten years ago that I still love and think about all the time and I remember how hard those first days were. Your pup knows that you loved him because of all the love you showed him during your life together, don't beat yourself up... and do know that (when you're ready) another little one will bring joy to your life again! *hugs*

Oh you poor thing... :( I have tears sitting here reading this. God I know what you are going through. My last little baby did not die at my hands either but she died in my arms and it was the most painful thing I ever went through. I didn\'t get out of bed for a week! Alas, I now I have my Bailey blue and he fills my heart with just as much love. He will in no way EVER replace where my other animals have been but he does fill a void that was once there. I wouldn\'t go out and get a new dog right away because you may have too many expectations for that pet and you and the pet would be let down. I\'m very sorry for your loss. Please know I believe that your little one is up in heaven looking down on you and out of pain!

I\'m very sorry to read about your loss. I agree with others here...though you need to morn for you loss of Smokey, when the time is right for you...it will help you to know that you are giving love to another baby who needs it too.

I\'m so sorry to hear your sad news. I had my first dog cremated and brought her ashes home with me. I have the ashes in a lovely urn in my living room. It gives me some comfort to have her here.
Sending hugs your way.

I\'m so sorry for your loss.