Former owner wants him back
 

I "adopted" my yorkie from a coworker. We work in a small office, and this poor dog was bored out of his mind. He was a classic "nervous little dog" who was always shaking a bit.

I started walking him because I really needed the exercise, and I figured he did too. I did not even like small dogs before I met this little guy, but needless to say, after a few walks I fell in love. I started dog-sitting for him, and eventually we agreed that she would sell him to me.

I told her that I would pay his original cost + all veterinary care. She told me that she would need some time to put all the receipts together, but I assumed it would come out to several thousand dollars. I took him home with me, and figured I would pay her whenever she got the final price together.

AND THEN today she tells me that she misses him too much and that she thinks she would rather take him back. I am heartbroken!


If I'm honest with myself, I know I'm very upset for my loss, but I thought we both knew it was better for him - she admitted to me that she almost never walked him, and this is a dog that does well with 90 minutes of daily exercise. He has not been properly socialized or house broken. And the kicker is that he needs $1,000 of dental work, which she cannot afford! I had been waiting to pay her first before scheduling his surgery.

If she says she definitely wants him back, I will give him back, but I am very upset. I don't think she is doing what's right for the dog. He became more strongly bonded to me than her even while she was still his owner, and I really think it's because she doesn't pay much attention to him. She does love him, but she's more into the fact that he's cute and she can dress him up. She does not take care of him as a dog.

I guess this is a lesson to me to legally buy a dog the next time around, rather than keeping it informal. :(

I don't think I remember reading in your post (and if you did post this I'm sorry for asking it) but how long have you had the dog for? It sounds to me like he is WAY better off with you. If you've already had him for a while, I would say that your sorry but that you two made an agreement and you've already bonded with the dog and he has already bonded with you. I mean I understand that it was her dog and all, but it doesn't sound like he was being very well taken care of and I would be extremely concerned about that.

I would do everything in your power to keep that sweet baby :cry:

I am sooooooo sorry! How sad for you and the dog too.
Paula

I am so sorry!!:( I hope you get to keep your baby!! How long have you had him?

What about you giving her the money and her getting a new puppy?

I totally agree!!

I am praying she changes her mind. If she doesn't, then I really hope she realized she needs to step it up for his benefit.

HUGS to you sweetie I'm so sorry :(

Ohhhhhhh, I'd have a really tough time giving that dog back. I think you should sit down with her and point out the fact that he NEEDS his daily walks, and that he also needs the dental work done, AND you two have totally bonded!

I really hope she realizes that he's better off with you. Good luck!

I would totally keep that dog, pay her the reasonable costs (original amount + vet receipts that she can produce) and be done with it. NO WAY would I give that baby back to someone who didn't care for him correctly.

Worst thing is that she can sue you for him...maybe she will decide it's not worth all the effort and let him stay with you.

I hope you can find a way to keep him.

I assume she knows about his need for dental work, and the cost. I'm concerned that if she takes him back, she won't have the dental work done. You might be able to use this to negotiate, tactfully telling her if he doesn't have the dental work done she'll end up with a toothless Yorkie.

Why would you pay her the original cost, plus all vet care, and the dog hasn't even been socialized or housebroken? Not only that, but it's been neglected and needs expensive dental work. This is a rescue basically, she could never sell him for that on the open market, don't let her take advantage of you. The problem is, you've made owning a dog look like fun to her, and so she wants him back, she's forgotten all the trouble they can be, and obviously she doesn't care for it as much or she would know it's better off with you. I wouldn't suggest that she get a puppy, she'll do the same thing with a puppy, and probably get sick of caring for that too. Return the dog to her, and either look or act like your looking for a puppy from a good breeder. I'll bet while you're looking she start getting second thoughts on keeping the dog, and want to sell it, but don't reward her irresponsibility, make her deduct the cost of dental work from the cost of the dog, should deside to buy. I also would be tempted to give her a bill for the amount you have spent on him. Sometimes, you have to be really firm with people or they will walk all over you, and she sounds like one of those people. Best of luck!

Okay, the plot thickens. She told me in confidence today that she is planning to relocate to New York next month. No one at the office knows. I guess originally she didn't feel like she was totally giving him up because I bring him to the office and she still gets to play with him. Now that she's going to New York, she realizes she won't see him at all.

She proposed that I keep him for a few months while she settles in New York, and then I guess she'll decide whether or not she wants him back. I'm thinking about saying yes, and then keeping him either way. Before, I was very concerned about causing tension in the office, but if she's leaving, there's not much connection there.

I have to say, it never occurred to me this would happen. I probably wasn't very smart about the price, but one the other hand, I knew that I was very bonded with this dog and that we are compatible.

She says that she knows it's selfish to keep him and that she would not be giving him the life he deserves. And honestly, a New York winter day would turn him into a dogsicle within minutes. He has to wear a sweater in San Francisco! And the tiny apartments in New York... I'm floored. I lived in New York for many years, and I know it takes a lot more work to care for a dog there than it does in NorCal.

On the other hand, I knew she wasn't super-responsible to begin with, given that she didn't take great care of him, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised at how she's handling this.

I'm still worked up, but I think it's probably going to turn out okay... I hope.

I would not give the dog back and to be honest I would probably just pay her the cost for the dog itself and tell her to screw off. If you don't have it on paper then it isn't really a "legal" agreement. Why should you pay for vet costs that she had and still pay for the dental work? that doesn't make sense. She doesn't sound like someone who should have a dog, who does she think she is saying oh you keep him for a few months and give him to me, no way NEVER!

I agree that if you do keep him you shouldn't have to pay for past vet expenses. Even paying her full price that she paid is a bit much when you are looking at an additional $1000 in dental work. It seems to me that if she wants to move to New York and can't afford the dental work she would be lucky to just get original purchase price from you and let that be the end of it. No one else is going to give her more so don't let her take advantage of you just because of emotions. Let her go and leave it open. In the event she eventually tries to get the dog back from you, if you refused she would have to sue you in small claims which means she would have to come back to California. If the court awarded her the dog they would have to make her reimburse you the dental expense and she couldn't afford it anyway. She would be lucky to just get her original purchase price which you are willing to pay anyway. She probably just thinks she wants him back because she sees him with you. Once she's far away she won't see him and will probably get less attached anyway.

How does she plan on getting him from Cali to NY? It doesnt sound like she is thinking things thru.She appears to be impulsive...I am betting if you "keep" him while she gets settled then she most likely wont come and get him. If you two make some sort of agreement you had best get it in writing. I dont think I would trust her very far!

Here's another thought. Let her go with the idea that she can figure out if she wants him later. Wait a little while and than send her a check for the purchase price with "payment in full for yorkshire terrier named..." or something like that. She will need the money and probably cash the check and that will be the end of that.

Thank you, everyone, for the support and the advice. The more I think about it, the more I think maybe she is freaking out about this big move. She is moving to New York for school in a month, and she doesn't have an apartment or a job yet. I am really hoping that she is giving herself three months to truly let go.

She acknowledged to me that it would take something of a perfect storm for her to be able to care for the (my!) dog. She will be working AND going to school; she will have to find an apartment that allows pets; she will need to find a roommate, so the roommate would also want a pet; and she would ideally find a job that has a dog-friendly policy, like our company. Basically she will have much less time and money than she does now.

I'm really surprised that she is being so selfish, because I always thought of her as extremely sweet and soft-spoken. I guess I don't know her that well, though. I think I'm just going to keep the dog no matter what. I can kind of imagine her shipping him across the country, leaving him alone in a tiny apartment all day, and then saying, oh, my dog has gone psycho, tee hee!

I don't know how much she makes, but she paid well over $1,000 for this dog, and she told me that she didn't have enough money for his dental work at least two months ago... I don't think she bought him thinking that she was signing up for a fifteen year commitment.

That's tough. How long have you had him?

I hope it works out for you!

I've had him for less than a month. That's why I was willing to consider returning him, I guess. If it had been six months, I would never agree. That and I thought it would be horribly uncomfortable around the office if we had an ongoing dispute of this nature. But if she was willing to give up the dog once in San Fran, I don't think I'm going to give her a chance to do it again in New York.

well, i think the reason that she is being 'selfish' is because it's her baby. i mean, she knows she is not taking good care of the dog, but you know, she is still the mommy after all. so it is hard to let go. i think that's why she is acting the way she is acting.

even bad moms like/love their kids. but truly nice ones will decide to do what's best for the kids.

it's pretty clear that you can take better care of her. but only if your friend/co-worker decides to let you have the dog.

i think you have two options: 1) give the co-worker time to realize that you can take better care of the dog and hopefully she will make the right decision (for the doggie) but whatever happens is meant to be, even if it means for her to decide that she will keep the dog. or 2) i don't think your co-worker is the type to appeal to logic or reasoning. so if you want to try to prove to her that you really should be the one to keep the dog, then you need to appeal to her emotions. by letting her know what it would be like for the dog and how sad it would be to be left all along and unloved, no attention,...etc.. but you might know how to talk to her better because you know her personality.

i hope you will be able to keep the doggie!

Please dont give your baby back! She had time to think about rehoming before giving him to you. It sounds like she didnt take a good care of him and he better off with you anyways.

I'm not sure if this will help your situation but, a couple I knew hada dog that they were not caring for, their dog also needed some costly vet attention, and they were wanting to rehome it. They let some friends take him for a "trial period" to see if they wanted to keep him, in that time their child cried to have the dog back so they asked to have him back and the people refused because they felt the dog was not being taken care of. in the end the other people kept the dog, despite the couple hounding them for him back.
If you really feel that your dogs former owner wasn't treating him well then just be upfront about it, even if you hadn't paid her yet you had every intention of doing so when she finally got a price together for you.

I was just going to say..... get whatever you can in writing. AND during this time she is in NY...or even now..ANY emails you and her have ......keep. Document everything.
Even things she says, write down that day and date it and keep it in a journal.
Those are things that can make a HUGE difference in Court if it ever came to that.
She does not deserve this dog. This is a rescue and thank goodness this baby has you to fight for him/her.

Good luck!

:bravo::goodpost:

I'll get crucified for this....but he is not your dog. I understand he's better off with you, but he is not yours.

That being said...she obviously has "forgotten" how much work he is/was...she probably has given no consideration what expense will be incurred moving to NYC either.

I personally wouldn't agree to watch him any additional time. I'd tell her no to that idea.

You have the money together to pay her correct? Were it me...I'd flash that money in her direction...cause I'm betting she'd take it.

Hope it works out in your favor.

PS and get a receipt. ;)

I believe legally the dog is yours. You can't sell a car, give the person the keys, then 2 weeks later say Oh I guess I want the car back. Even if you haven't agreed on a price. If you decide to keep the dog and she sues you it will be a matter of deciding on a price.
I think sending her a check saying paid in full is a really good idea.

You will probably end up keeping him. Many people are "out of sight out of mind". That's my degree in psychology talking :D.

But, keep it honest!

That's pretty good news. I am betting she will not want him back. Maybe you could agree to keep him and once she is gone call her and tell her you want to finalize the transition and where can you send the check. Hopefully she will need the money with the big move. Good luck

I'm thinking once she moves to NY and finds out all she needs to focus in just to get settled in with school and all, she will realize she won't have time for the dog...and would probably could rather use a little cash right now....but if you end up giving her cash...please make it reasonable...do not give her more than she paid for the dog.....as for as vet care, etc. expenses...that's what she should pay for as long as the dog was in her possession/care. Good Luck & Keep us posted.!

I think what you did was enter into an oral contract which would stand up in court. They would of course make you pay for the dog, but atleast you'd have him. It must be very hard with the person working with you.