Not Welcome
 

Everytime i go to my brother's house i take my dogs with me and always feel like they are unwelcome. My brother and gf say its fine i take them and don't mind however everytime i go my brother who is not a dog lover at all, always has something negative to say. He always make remarks about how its ridiculous i buy them clothes, or treat them like babies..how they shouldn't be on the couch, they are animals and should be treated like it(sometimes i wonder how we were even raised together lol) we are so different. Today we were there with my dad and his fam, since my brother is also a new dad. We don't like to leave the dogs alone so we always make an effort to take atleast 2 with us, a couple times we take all 3 but it is stressful enough to keep them all calm in the car(my bro lives upstate) and its about a 40 min drive. It's even more stessful when my brother is making all these remarks about my dogs. I try to go there as much as i can to see my adorable neice but it's more of an uncomfortable visit when me and my dogs are the target. I'm starting to think i should just leave them home, it makes me not want to go as often and that sucks cause i do want to see my niece grow up and all the stages that she goes thru, she is now starting to crawl, she even seems like she likes the dogs, she always smiles at them but with the way my brother is i wouldn't be surprised if she grows up to hate dogs too:rolleyes:. Do any of you have family that does not approve of you spoiling your dogs? How do you handle it?

Unwanted
 

We love to spoil our babies too. We only bring them where we feel they are loved and wanted. Not all are dog lovers. I would not bring them if they are being complained about. My visit would be shorter. I buy my babies all sorts of clothes, toys among other things. They are our babies!!!

ignore them?

You're right i should leave them home and i try to sometimes but my bf always wants to take them too, we just hate leaving them home. We always atleast take one, he's less of a pain that way cause London usually just stays in my lap but even when i dont take them he still has something to say. He would randomly bring my dogs up in family conversations and talk bad about the whole treating your dogs like your kids in general. He hates the idea of it

umm its almost impossible to when its brought up mostly everytime i go there, it's either him or sometimes my dad even chimes in joking how if he were starving he would eat the dog(he was in the army and ate weird things) but still it makes me mad

Do your Niece the big favor....
 

Keep bringing the doggies to visit her ... i am sure she will enjoy and get to love them as she grows.... and one thing no one will never take from her: the memories of her "auntie" and the happiness she brought in everytime she came to visit with the dogs...
Be sure to know that your niece will be the first to thank you when she grows to be old enough to do it !!!!

You have the privilege to introduce her to "unconditional dog love" !!!

You have to respect people's feelings in their own homes. By what you have said, it sounds like your brother is not really fond of your dog's visits. My boys are my babies but I don't take them to other people's homes unless I am positive they are welcome. Many people are dog lovers, just not "inside" dog lovers. I was raised with an inside dog so I have always welcomed pets in my home. My husband was not, so I do not take my dogs to my inlaws. However, my DH takes them with him to their house all the time!! We only live about 10 miles from them and he usually stops by their house a couple of times a week. But you know how that goes, he is their "baby" so he can get away with more than I can! LOL.

Now if my brother was in MY home and got an attitude about my dogs, that would be another story!!

I hope she ends up loving animals like me:p

You're totally right about that and I understand that not all ppl love dogs. However my brother grew up with me, we always had a pet in the house and he knows how much i love animals. When i was little one time he kicked my poor bird but anyway they say it's fine i take my dogs, they don't mind it at all as long as they wear their diapers, which they always do but it's just the whole him talking bad about how i treat them that bother's me. It's my business if i want to buy them clothes, or w.e. I wouldn't take my dogs to someone's house if they didn't like them either, and i don't. It's just my brother i am talking about and how he criticizes(sp.?) me and my bf for treating them like our babies. He doesn't only say stuff when i go to his house, it's when we're in other ppl's houses too, he'll bring little things up

I would continue to bring them. I think your brother is being a "brother" and probably likes seeing you get riled up. Don't let him win.

He def. likes seeing me riled up that's for sure since i am his 'little sister' he always thinks im still a baby when we are both grown up already

It sounds like your brother has other issues. I am not trying to arm chair shrink your relationship, but is there some sibling rivalry here? Is he using the dogs to get in an "easy" passive/aggressive shot at you. On the other hand, some people think money spent on dogs as a waste, and can't help giving their opinion on the subject. Money matters can always hit a nerve.

I don't think there's really any sibling rivalry. Since i am the youngest and it was just us 2 i was always babied by our parents but we are both treated equal. I think a lot of times he says stuff about the dogs just to get at me, atleast it seems like it. I don't even do anything, but it seems he does it the most when people are around, like when he has company like my dad and family, etc. His ex gf had a Yorkie and to him omg he was the best dog in the world and he loved him, and other ppl's dogs but then my dogs it like stops there. im like that's not fair:( I really think he says things to make me mad or something. :rolleyes: His fiance's sister has a chihuahua that she takes everywhere with her, and when she's over he will let him walk all over his couch, on the pillows, everything but there's no way my dogs could do that. Not that i ever let them cause i know he doesn't like it and even though they are so clean, just cause theyre mine he says something but if it's his friend or someone else he doesn't mind:confused:

I know it is hard, but like someone else here said, you just have to ignore him. If he is doing it to just to get to you, and you react, then he will keep doing it because you are giving him the reaction he wants. I know people who have personalities like this. They can usually dish it out but can't take it!! ;) I have a big brother too, so I can sympathize, LOL!!! You gotta love 'em.

Yep, I sure do! My FIL makes such comments about me dressing Little Man. He is a dog lover though. He really don't make comments except when he sees Little Man and he's dressed. I just really ignore the comments. He has his opinions, but that's all he has. He don't take care of Little Man, I do.

Now, I do have an Aunt and she lives with my cousin and they have a yorkie. I normally don't go for a visit with Little Man. But when we have really serve storms, Little Man and I use go down to their house. She makes comments like, "Oh I just can't breathe. Larissa, you need to take Little Man downstairs." I take him downstairs and we (Little Man & I) hang out down there while we are there. I'll go up to get something to drink and she'll say, "I'm sorry Larissa, but he's shedding like crazy and its making my asthma act up." The only thing I say is, "It's okay, I understand." and I let it go at that. Then, I go back downstairs and be with my Little Man and watch the weather. While everyone including their yorkie are upstairs.

I love my aunt, and she's the one that invites us (Little Man & I) to come over when it storms. But after 3 times of not feeling welcome and her comments about Little Man all the while holding their yorkie. I just quit going over there when it storms. I now stay home, watch the weather, and do alot of praying. I have my "storm" room ready at all times and everything I need in that room, so when I need to take shelter all I gotta do is grab up Little Man and go hide and keep praying that Little Man and I will stay safe.

All in all if something is said about my baby, I'll say something at first, just to defend myself and Little Man. If it continues, I'll either ignore it or exclude me and Little Man from the situation, and that includes some family functions. But most of my and hubby's family don't mind if Little Man is with us. They do love him and think he's the sweetest baby there is.

Unfortunately there are people out there that do understand the bond between us and our dogs. We love them as much as they love their own kids. Spoiling, making a fuss, and adoring them is what they deserve.

I have family that do not get how much my dog means to me. He literally is my own kid and I love him as such. I can tell in their voice that he is not that welcomed (eventhough they say he can come). I hate leaving him behind, but I respect my family members opinion (even if they are wrong, haha). I make my visits shorter, and when they ask me 'why do you have to leave so early' I tell them 'I miss MY baby'.

I know it sucks to leave them behind and you want to take them everywhere with you, but unfortunately you have to respect the person you are visiting. I make sure I have special niece/nephew weekends at my house so they can get used to and learn to love my dog.

To me my furbabies are like my kids. I have two daughters by the way .
I have taken my furbaby to homes where they are not dog lovers and I cant help but to take it personal when someone has something negative to say about my dog. Dont get me wrong everyone has the right to their opinion but to tell me what or how I should treat my dog ....
Somepeople think that dogs should be left outside tied to a tree or in a kennel all day long etc...
Personally I would not take the dogs to your brother's house.It's truly not worth the stress. Visit your niece often and enjoy her without worrying about your bother or his negative comments. If he has something negative to say then trust me he really doesnt want you bringing the dogs over. Even though they say it's ok.

I used to be probably like your brother. I was NOT a dog lover. In fact I didnt like animals because I was raised in a home that hated animals.
But a little Yorkie changed my life for ever and now we have 3 dogs in our house! lol


Genie

I know it's best to ignore him but that is what i do most of the time and then i just cant take it and get so frustrated. It ruins family gatherings and happy days for me. gosh! lol Even when we were on vacation together in D.R. we were all eating and they started talking about my dogs and how if something ever happened and the world were starving they would take my dogs and eat them, anything to live. Imagine that, i felt like crying. They even got my little sister who is 9 to say she would eat them too if she were starving. I was like yea right, there is no way i could do that. I mean we were on vacation and it just ruined it for me. I shouldnt have been so emotional and just let it go but at that point my dogs were here and i hadnt seen them in a week, i was missing them already and got that thought in my head, its impossible not to say anything lol

I'm sorry, it doesnt make sense how she would be allergic to Little Man and not her Yorkie. If i were you i would also feel unwelcome and would rather stay home with my own. Shoot, i would opt. not to go to my brother's and just stay home with my 3 but i have to see my niece and i had to see my dad today for father's day. Also i love it up there, it's peaceful and much nicer than the city. Do you get bad storms frequently?

Personally, and this is just me.... I'd go visit but not take the dogs. It's be an unpleasant visit if I had to sit there and defend my furkid in the first place, so why ruin the lil bit of time you do have to see your niece. And on that note, I'd cut my visit time back and just explain you need to get home to your furkids.

Hey, I talk a good talk!!! If I were in your shoes, a family feud would probably have already erupted. No one has ever accused me of keeping my mouth shut.:) It really sounds like you are the whipping boy of the bunch and it has turned into a habit. Do they know how much their comments bother you? If they do, then they are just being downright mean. I don't mean to sound harsh and please don't take this the wrong way because I feel sorry for what you are having to put up with. But you know the old saying, "Put up or shut up" may hold true here. You may just have to have throw what we in the South call a "hissy fit" and put them in their place!!! .

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!! Not only does my family dislike my furkids, but they undermine their importance to me constantly, complain about the barking (which is only when we are playing), make passive agressive comments like saying, "Well, why are they misbehaving? Aren't you the "Dog Whisperer?"...

In fact tonight at the dinner table, some family members got very upset because Ella Bean pooed on the carpet. It cleaned up fast and was not stepped on, but they invite us to stay with them, invite the dogs and then complain...I took my pups for a walk and cried the entire time.

I don't understand how family can't accept each other's concept of family. My dogs are my family as well and I love them dearly. Why can't they be happy for me that I found something that brings me so much joy???:confused:

I think it's just a brother thing ;) I've been there, lol! Is it possible for you to have your niece down to your house for a day/weekend? Or since she lives a distance go up for a day and pick her up take her to a dog friendly park or something like that? Then you could see her and take your babies. :)

I understand wanting to see your dad (especially on Father's Day) and niece. I would too!

Our stormy season is usually late March to early September. This year it started in early February. We just had a storm Saturday, it was pretty bad. Winds got up between 60 to 70 miles an hour. I almost got in the storm outside, but I just barely made in before it hit. As soon as I made it in and closed the door behind me, Lighting struck my neighbors pond in the field across from my house. It made a big pop sound and my house shook. My mom and niece screamed because it scared them, and that's when I heard my niece tell my mom that she thought I was still outside. My mom dropped a few pieces of fried green tomatoes on the floor and starting yelling and running towards the living room. I hollered and said I was inside when the lighting hit. It got pretty nasty saturday night.

I agree with smartpuppiepets. I thought of your neice right away and than read her reply. Your brother has said that you can bring them, and if it does start to feel uncomfortable, you can always leave, and if not and as your neice gets older, you could always take her to the dog park with you, your dbf and your dogs!! Best of luck with all of this!

Awww, you poor thing! What a stinker your brother is! I started out with large parrots and I wouldn't go ANYWHERE unless they could go with me....so I think my family is REALLY glad I'm returning to something they can relate to somewhat (one Christmas, when I took one of my parrots, the only non-carpeted area in my mom's house was in the kitchen, so that's where I had to put her cage....my mom had to walk way around her to get to the fridge b/c once she got too close and Nova leaned over and bit her arm (she wasn't mean, she just got startled when someone who wasn't me walked so close to her)....tell your brother to be happy you love sweet little dogs and not big parrots with gigantic beaks:D.

Call his bluff!!! Sounds like he is definitely trying to stir things up, so just agree with him!!! You don't have to mean it of course or change your ways but just keep agreeing with everything he says!!! This really winds my fella up! Maybe if you give him a taste of his own medicine he will back off a bit!
Just say "of course, you're right" , "whatever you say" and "I know I'm weird but you should be used to it by now!"LOL!!:D

I don't understand why he liked other dogs, but not yours. To me, that sounds like he has a sibling rivalry thing going on too. How old are you and how old is he? Maybe he's jealous...you seem so happy, you love your babies and have a loving boyfriend...and you are beautiful! Maybe he is still being upset from childhood since you were the youngest and probably got a lot of attention. Next time he says something, I would give him a big gorgeous smile and kiss my babies in front of him! :D

I think it's best to leave them at home on those visits. Eventually he might make some stupid comment and that can start an ugly fight. Some people do feel that dogs/cats etc are just that animals. Usually those that are so not inclined towards animals have children that love them. So be ready for him to have to eat humble pie and buy his baby girl a doggie/best friend in a few years.

I felt my boys were not wanted at my dads house so when I went I left them at home. My dad (who has always LOVED animals) just didnt seem to bond with them at all. I made my visits less often and shorter and unfortunately left my dogs at home. I don't think my dad cares either way with my boys, but his *beep* wife cares and makes a stink to him after Im gone. I despise her!

Anyways.... Id just leave your babies at home and visit for only 2 hours tops... you can see your neice still go through everything. Also, invite your brother to your house with your neice. Offer to cook dinner or something. That way he cant complain about your dogs in YOUR house. :) Good Luck!