Wanting some advice pls!
 

My cousins fur baby Pointer (which is Little Mans biological brother but from another litter) was hit by an 18 wheeler yesterday morning.:(

She and her 6yr old son was trying to get Pointer out of the road, and they witnessed the whole thing. They are having a very hard time handling it, especially her son. Her son (when they would go to town) would introduce Pointer has his brother. He was so attached to Pointer. They had Pointer since he was 3 months old. He was 9 months old. It just about killed me when I seen him so tore up, screaming and crying.

She asked me what she should do, if she should go ahead and get another puppy to help with her sons grief or should wait. I told her I didn't know because I was attached to Pointer myself.

Now here's where I need ya'll to help me out with your wisdom. Would it help if she were to get another fur baby to help her son with his grieving? I do know she's grieving just as much as her son, but she's not letting it show for her sons sake.

Getting him a new puppy right away could help spare him some pain but since he is so young I would be concerned about the message I was sending by instantly replacing something he loved.

Children recover from loss faster (talking about it and letting him express how he feels will help) than adults so it would not have to be that long before they got a new puppy but if it were me I would give him time to grieve.

As much as we wish we could spare our children any suffering going through the stages of grief is a healthy process.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the two of them. As far as getting another puppy right now, I think her and her son should talk about it together and come to an answer to that question themselves, I mean, only THEY know if they are ready or not.

I agree with this. I would let the child decide when he is ready to open his heart to another puppy.

I am so sorry to hear this. I agree-you might want to wait awhile until the child is ready for another puppy. He needs time to grieve, and understand the valuable life of the companion he lost. In time, he will be ready for another. I agree with the fact that it takes children less time than adults to grieve, so it might be best to let him make the call about when he's ready.

I have a 9 year old grandson, and my answer would be yes, but, let him find the puppy he wants...

Oh, I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking.

I agree with "Itspuppyluv". Sounds like words of wisdom to me.

oh I am so very very sorry. It is so hard to have that happen, but to see and hear it is just so traumatic. Maybe she should ask her son if he would like to wait to get one or if he would feel better to get one now. She could explain it wouln't be replacing him and that he will always live on in their hearts. This is a big lesson to learn for such a little guy isn't it? I have always wanted to tell you for some time I love the name Little Man. It is so cute. I'm so sorry about his brother.

Im So sorry for Your nephew and Sister and You as well I just wanted to add if he goes to Kindergarden yet Your sister should Ask if he could talk to the Consouler for Greif Counsiling I know It is not as tramatic as losing A human But in Your Nehews eyes it was Its free trou the school and Could tramendously Help I hope that helps in some way I know if it were my son who is extremly senstive and caring seeing somthing like that could dsetroy his lil heart i truely Hope he feels better soon Sending Prayers your way

opps sorry i tought it was your sister my apologies i just woke up ...

Larissa,
I thought about you all night last night. And thought about my very similar childhood loss some more. I knew you'd get some wise advice here. Still praying for you all. Like I told you, the memory will be with him forever, but the pain will subside. ~~ Huge Hugs ~~

I know as an 19 year old married woman, I lost a beloved dog by a truck hitting him at the corner of the driveway. The driver gave me another puppy but I never bonded with it. It could never replace the one I lost- the first puppy my new hubby and I had gotten and named Baby. I would take some time and discuss what the child feels like doing. Talk about what kind of dog to get and discuss his feelings a lot.

This just breaks my heart, and please don't take this the wrong way, but will they be able to take steps from this happening again? This is the number one cause of death in unneutered male dogs.

I am so sorry. I could not imagine seeing something like that. Let alone a child seeing it. Maybe ask the boy if he feels he could handle a new puppy now. Leave it up to him. I often think about that myself. I do think if it happened to me and I got another, I would constantly be comparing the new pup to Penny. She is one of a kind. Aren't they all! Again. I am so sorry.

RIP :littleang

good advice:thumbup:

Update!
 

Thank you everyone! I read Sheila (my cousin) everyones replies tonight. She said to tell you all thank you so very much.

This is the update! :arrow: I was on the phone with her this morning when her son Skylar got up. This is what he told her and I thought it was cute the way he said it. He said, "Mommy, I've been thinking and I think I want a new puppy today." He sounded all grown up when he said that. It was just to cute. We hung up so she could talk to him about it. About an hour later she called me and told me they were going to look for a new puppy. She told me that she explained to him that getting a new puppy wouldn't be taking Pointers place but making room in their hearts for a new family member. He told her that he understood.

So we (both Sheila & myself) began our search for a new puppy today. I called a vets office that was 10 miles from us, and she called our vets office. They both gave us the same number. We didn't know each other had the same number. We both talked to the breeder. She had just hung up from when I was beeping in on them. He told me that he didn't have anymore puppies but he had Ellie a 1 1/2 yr old female that just had a litter of pups that he was selling. I asked him why he was selling her. This is what he told me. He bought her and her sister when they were just pups and he was going to start breeding them. He was only going to use 1 of the females to breed with and have the other as a pet. His wife didn't think it was fair for one to breed and not the other so she talked him into selling one of the females which just happens to be Ellie. I personally didn't like his answer, but I kept that to myself. Anyways, I called Sheila back and began to tell her what I found. She just started laughing and told me that she already talked to the same man. I did tell her that I would be very very wary of the man and his reasons for selling Ellie. We did find some puppies on our search. They went and looked at the puppies. She told me that Skylar didn't see the puppy that he wanted. So they went to take a look at Ellie. She said when Skylar seen Ellie that he told her that he wanted her. He didn't want any other puppy or dog. She told me that she was very worried about getting Ellie when she found that the breeder kept Ellie, her sister and the sire outside :eek: She said she told Skylar she didn't know if Ellie was right for them. She said he looked at her and started crying saying but mommy she can't just stay here. She has to come home with us, so we can take care of her and keep her inside and safe where she belongs. She told me that when he said that it melted her heart. Then she seen Ellie walk up to Skylar and lick him and wagged her little docked tail she knew right then and there she wasn't going home without Ellie.

Oh she's absolutely gorgeous! Here's what she looks like. Attachment 205331 I'll get a better picture of her tomorrow.

Sheila will be taking her to the vet first thing Monday morning. She also said that she is going to get her fixed and she hopes that this time they will put a collar around her neck so she won't be chewing or licking on the incison like Pointer did when she got him neutered. She also said they will be fencing in the back yard. She didn't want to take anymore chances.

Sorry this was so long!

Ellie is beautiful. And while she may have a jaded past, it sounds like she and Skylar had a beautiful bonding moment. And your story says a lot about that little boy too. Many little boys would have wanted a puppy just because everybody wants a puppy. But for some reason, Ellie's heart spoke to Skylar's heart...... and he listened.

I wish them only the BEST!! Are they YTer's? They should be. That way, they'll have support through whatever transition there might be.

Aww, she is very pretty. I am glad it all worked out for them. :)

That's ok. She is like my sister. We were raised together so we act like and call each other sisters. Her son calls me Aunt Larissie. It's so cute the way he says it. lol


Thank you. Hubby and I were trying to think of names and I had to get up to do something and I said, "ok Little Man mommys gotta get up." Hubby said that's his name. That's how we came up with it. lol

Sheila and Skylar brought Ellie over tonight and that boy doted on her. Everywhere he went she was on his heels. I have to say I've never seen a dog or even a puppy so attuned to each other as those two have. It was something to see that's for sure.

No they aren't. She don't have a computer yet. She did say when she gets her computer she will be joining. I've already told her so much about this site. I've even showed it too her. Told her about all the info on here. I told her that she will need to get her a paypal acct too so she will be ready when YTer's have sales she won't be hanging...lol

Me too!!!:D

Awww.She is just beautiful! That is a great update.:D

I love happy endings.

So glad that everything has worked out. Kids are amazing and Skylar sounds wise for his age. Good luck with everything. :)

Aww, your story brought tears to me eyes. Please continue to keep us updated on this special new friendship. :)

Skylar called me this morning to tell me that he and Sheila was on their way over and they are bringing Ellie!

I went and got my camera. :D

Attachment 205452 Skylar and Ellie just walked in the door.

Attachment 205450 Ellie looking at her new mommy and brother Skylar.

Attachment 205449 Struting herself around this house.

Attachment 205451 Ellie & Little Man playing with hubby.

Little Man wants to play with her and she plays with him but she's not sure about him yet. Sheila's worried about them playing because Ellie yapped at Little Man. This happened last night. Ellie started playing with Little Man and she would put her butt in his face and he would try to mount her but before we could stop it, Ellie yapped at him and Little Man took off and jumped up in daddys lap and stayed there the whole time they were here. I told her not to worry that Ellie is in a new surrounding and if Little Man gets to be too much for her. She will definitely let him know it and then we can step in and stop it before anything happens. I told her that Little Man can't do anything yet when he mounts her cause he's still a baby. He's just showing dominance over his domain.
Am I right in my way of thinking? If I'm not please let me know. And maybe give us some advice on how get them comfortable with each other so they will play good together.

I got Andy not even two whole weeks i think after teddy died and it really helped me cope.....Andy has become the light of my life

Oh, that's such a neat story, what a special little boy. You mentioned getting a collar for after surgery, and I just wanted to let you know that many members have used a baby's onesie, similar to this: http://www.sandboxcouture.com/baby-onesies-all.html you can get the plain white ones at Walmart, and I imagine they're much more comfortable than a collar. Glad to hear about the fence, you just can't be too careful. She is a real doll, and I'm so glad things worked out so well.

About your other question, How old is Little Man? You might want to start a separate question in the breeding forum for this question. I know Joey was doing things like this when he was 3 months old with a little pup that was even younger, and it is a dominance thing, but you might want to check with an expert.

He just turned 13 weeks Friday. I don't want to breed him, because I know nothing about breeding and truthfully I don't want to know (sorry if that sounded kind of rude, not trying to be). I am definitely leaving that to all the wonderful experinced breeders on YT! ;)

I didn't realize he was so young. I guess your safe for a while. :D