Horrible Separation Anxiety!!! HELP PLEASE!!
 

Ok, ive posted before but didnt really get a response. Here's my problem, like the title says, my yorkie, soma, has HORRIBLE separation anxiety. I mean if there was a worse word i would use it. He pants, paces, barks, whines, jumps up the walls, he climbs up onto things and just now he almost fell 3 feel after jumping on this bed, then onto a big pillow, then on to a window sill all in an attempt to get to me! I had to run in there and grab him and move everything away from the window.

Now why is he so close you may say? well, i work at this place called the heavenly pet resort and employees can bring there dogs for free, so i bring him. He had a 10 by 10 foot area to run around it, a radio and a tv going and even a little chihuahua to play with, but he still whines and whines and whines. I wish he would just calm down while i work but he just keeps on freaking out ALL DAY! im worried he's going to hurt himself trying to get out which he has done before. even now he's clawing at the walls and trying his hardest to get to the window again. He as destroyed things, chewed on wooden doors and fallen after climbing to try to get over things to me.

I really just want him to be able to relax so someone, please help me out.

im sorry your having this problem with him, i cant help you, but i will
bump this up for you. good luck

been there! stressful isn't it.. it used to just break my heart... but layla overcame it! how old is your little guy? Layla was a nut when i left her up until she was about 10 months... and something just happened it seemed.. but we used to wean her... i'm not sure if you are in the position to do the same.. but we'd leave the house for about 20 min. then come back... layla was not kept in an x-pen because she used to try and get out of it! she has run of the house and woudl just sit on the steps and wait... then i'd come back.. not making a big deal.. hand her a treat and move on . she used to follow me around but i never picked her up... we moved the time to 25 min then 30 min... someone said dogs can't judge time beyond 20 min.. but they havn't met layla! lol.. now when i am home she generally wants to be where i am.. but that is typicall of yorkies.. but i can go shower... outside and shovel the driveway.. pretty much anything and she knows that i am coming back.

thanks, i hope i can find some way to help him soon, its really hard to see him when he goes into his fits...

he's one year and one month, he wasnt always this bad, i mean he would whine for a while then calm down, but now its constant, ill add a pic of where he's staying, its a big area so its not like he feels closed in and he can still see me from where he is, the picture was taken about 5 feet away from my work area.

I can totally relate to your problem!
Jaden has the worst seperation anxiety! I can't even go into the bathroom for two minutes with the door shut without him spinning in circles, crying and barking. :rolleyes: I've tried everything, every homeopathic thing out there, Rescue Remedy, Calm Ease, and about 5 other things, none of which did anything for him. It's gotten progressively worse, he works himself up into a frenzy and if I have to leave him when I come home he's panting, his heart is racing and he is SUPER hyper for me to be home. I used to put him in his crate but his newest thing is he's started defacating due to his anxiety when I leave. The last time I left him in his crate and stepped outside for 20 minutes, when I came back in he had deficated in his crate and covered himself in it :eek:
It is the most frustrating thing and it has gotten to the point where I have to take him with me just about everywhere. :rolleyes: I don't mind bringing him along but I just wish he wasn't so attached and could enjoy life without me for 10 minutes. I talked with a behaviorist and he suggested a bunch of differen things. Stepping outside for thirty seconds and coming back then increasing it to longer periods of time, giving him something entertaining to play with, something tasty to chew on, leaving music on, leaving a tape on with my voice on it....so far nothing has worked :( I even got him a new baby sister this past December to keep him company for the few hours a week I have to be gone and up to this point, even that doesn't seem to be helping all that much. I am going to speak with another beahviorist, supposed to be an expert in his field and we are driving 6 hours to speak with him. I am hoping maybe he can shed some light on this, I hate to drug him so I've been trying everything else first, however, if nothing else works I suppose I will have to look into prescription drugs and see if I can find something that is not harmful that would help him to live a calmer life for the few hours I am away...

Please keep in touch and let us know how your little one is doing. I know I don't have a lot of advice to give to help you but wanted to let you know that you're not the only one going through this.

Hugs,
Joy

thanks you, i will keep in touch. I dont want to turn to medication either. Ive even thought about submitting to be on the dog whisperer:) . And I know what you mean about taking him everywhere, i do that too. i mean i guess the one good thing is when he's in his crate he WILL NOT poop or pee, no matter how much he has to go, but i also go to school and if i left him in his crate while i went to work it would mean he would only see me a couple hours a day. but he still stresses out in his crate and has destroyed part of the towel over his crate and to my surprise i came home and found a big hole in a shoe box i had left to close...its frustrating.

My mom is home most of the time but refuses to let him out when she's there, she use to but now she wont at all. unlike me she doesnt like dogs and she does like soma but will not watch him for me...it makes it even more frustrating...

but ya, keep in touch with me. that way if i find something i can tell you and if you find something you can help me :)

Absolutely, I'll let you know what the behaviorist has to say, maybe he'll be able to shed some light on something for both of us! :thumbup:

You've probably tried this, but Kong toys frozen with peanut butter in them can help. Also, the Everlasting Treat Ball keeps mine busy for a while. dog.com sells them fairly cheap.

In the book, "The Dog Listener" Jan Fennell addresses this issue. She explains it as the dog feels like it's alpha, making it responsible for the pack. The dog is usually made to feel it's alpha by our actions toward, by all the love and attention we give it, catering to it's every whim. Feeding, playing, loving on demand. When you leave with out the dog, it can't see you and know you're ok, so it's stressed. Kinda like your child walking out of the house, and you not knowing what's on the other side of the door, you'd worry, too! If you were in the alpha position, the dog would accept that you come and go as you want, the alpha does what it wants, the other pack members accept it as normal and not to be questioned.

When I leave in the morning, I pick up my purse and walk out the door. I don't hug Pip one last time, I don't tell her good bye, I don't give her all kinds of treats and toys. She already has toys to occupy her. I don't make a production out of it. She doesn't bark and carry on, I know because I've stood outside the door for at least 15 minutes listening on several occasions. When I come home, I walk in, and she's dancing all around my feet begging for me to notice her. I put my stuff down, kick off my shoes, greet my husband, take care of what ever business I need to do, and I don't make eye contact with Pip at all. After about one minute, she calms down, and sits quietly. When she does, I look down and notice her, and reach down and pick her up and give her hugs and kisses. She accepts her place in the pack and it happy with it, and she's a much nicer baby to be around.

To some, my actions would seem mean but I don't really think dogs think in terms like that. In their own packs, there's no feelings such as mean, nice, being polite, etc. There's your's, mine, alpha, and then all the other members of the pack. To regain control and to put yourself back in the alpha position will only be 'mean' to you, but the dog will adjust and accept. That's what they do, tho their personality's might dictate how quickly they learn their new status.

I could go on and on about these methods, Pip is the second dog I've trained using them, and believe me, they work! I'm by no means an expert on the subject but the book will help you understand a lot of why the dog acts the way it does. Sorry to ramble on so much.....

Perhaps Soma would be better off at home?

My boys had it sooooo bad! They dug a hole in the kitchen wall ... like they tried to get out of the house to come after me! I would hear them HOWL like crazy when I left. It broke my heart everyday! I finally took away their ability to see me when I was leaving! Left them a bed with a sweater of mine in it as a blanket. They are doing much better now! I repaired the wall and they have not redug it. (they redug it once when I fixed it). I also ignore them when Im leaving now, and when I get home I put away my things first, I let them calm down a bit before I let them out of the kitchen. This seems to work pretty well for when I go to work. But when I leave to go out (not to work) I can still hear them howl sometimes! Its very very sad! My heart breaks, but they need to learn that they cannot come with me everywhere.

I'm unsure of what to say but is there a way where he can be there with you but NOT see you ??

He'd calm down if he couldn't I bet...My girls are the same way and it's my fault for being with them so much ...but once I'm out of site completely they calm down and just wait for me.....poor baby...he does look like he's trying really hard to get out

that's why groomers dont want people being there when their pets are being done - if your pet can actually see you it adds to their stress and they think of only trying to get to you. If you're out of site...he won't have anything to strive for and maybe will relax

Wow, You do have some work to do with your little boy!!!

pip'smom hit the nail right on the head!!!!!!! You must regain control of the pack. It might seem painful at first, but for your sanity and your babys health , you should really try.

If you can read some behavior material, as was suggested, you will get alot of information. Or you might sign up for a class with your little man so you can learn how to regain your position.

It's soooo hard to be "tough" on our kids, but they expect us to be the leader and believe it or not, life is easier for your pup if he feels secure that you are his trusted leader.

Best of luck.

Yes, I agree, Pip's mom is exactly right. I've been working with a dog trainer for several months and it's taken me a while to feel OK about ignoring them when they are in an excited state, but we're all getting used to it. It helped me when the dog trainer said what Pip's mom said. The dog's feelings don't get "hurt" if you ignore them. They have to learn that they are not the center of your world. So now I take the "nothing in life is free approach" whenever I feed them or even give them water, or anything, I make them sit for me. I won't let them sleep in my bed at night either. That took them a long time to get used to, but they're fine with it now. They're like kids -- they want limits put on them b/c it makes them feel more relaxed. Like they don't have to be the leader.

Annika is like SOMA, she only has eyes for me :p She will bark incessantly until I pick her up. If she is in the same room with me while I work, she is by my side at all times. . .knowing that I am close to her, she will just lay there or end up dozing off. But the minute I stand up she up and alert and wants to know what I am about to do. A few steps to my computer area (still same room) and she looks to see what I am up to . .the minute I sit on the computer chair, she somehow thinks I will be there forever and again barks like crazy. It is so annoying that I have to go get her and literally have her sit on my lap. The good thing though is she will get situated and let me do what I need to do.

However, she has somehow learned that when she is in her crate and I am leaving in the morning, she is fine. I say bye-bye . .give her a big kiss as well as Tiger and off I go. I have stood behind the door too and nothing. But the minute I arrive, even if I am still in the garage, she somehow knows and starts to perk up . . and as soon as I walk in the door, she wants out pretty bad :rolleyes:

Oftentimes, while home and I need to be in the kitchen she will bark like crazy in the laundry room . . somehow she thinks though that I will not come back for her so eventually she quiets down. She is well behaved and can actually have free roam of the house as she is fully potty trained. But Tiger isn't and not well behaved so I cannot let her out as I feel it would not be fair for Tiger looking from behind bars while Annika roams free to be with me :( I don't want him to think I am playing favorites :rolleyes:

Good luck on your quest to get his problem resolved.

Wow -- Tiger and Annika are positively adorable. Being on my computer drives my two (Zoe and Coco) nuts. Zoe is a professional whiner, but now I ignore her when she whines. I only give her attention when she has stopped for several seconds. It's hard to do, but it works so well that it's worth it.

Seperation anxiety
 

HI I have never had this problem because I have always owned more than one dog my whole life, dogs are pack animals by nature. so you become their pack, if they are the only dog in the home. so when ever you leave the house. it is like saying well it is time to go out on the hunt to bring home dinner, and then closing the door and leaving him or her out of the pack. In order to understand any dog, you must think as a dog. wolfs always travel together, eat together, hunt together, and sleep at the same time. All dogs large and small descend from the wolf, so the most favorite past time for a wolf or a dog is to travel. so if you can not add another dog to your pack, you should consider the time it takes to allow for a good walk for your single dog. to tire him or her out before you have to leave the house. It will not fix the problem completely but it will make the process of separation a little easier.
I always say it is so much easier to own 2 dogs than it is to own one. maybe not cheeper but defiantly easier. then when you leave the house and you leave 2 of your pack members behind they will not feel abandoned. Also they run and play together in the yard, making the walk less necessary every day since we are talking about Yorkies, bigger dogs, need to be challenged with a rigorous walked daily. or slowly introduced to a treadmill . to make your life less stressful.
also you should never pet and love and hold your dog or puppy when they are in a frantic state, that only increases the behavior. instead. as they are jumping up and down saying pick me up I am down here, I missed you, I am here pick me up hurry pick me up. instead. as hard as it sounds the very first thing everyone wants to do as soon as they get home is pick up their beautiful , happy to see you puppy or dog. you must ignore the behavior for at least 15 minutes or until they realize that you are not going to acknowledge them then they lay down then you go to them and pick them up. People only encourage the anxiety when the pay any attention to the puppy or dog when they are in that state of mind. read the paper grab a snack. go into another room an close the door. just do not acknowledge the anxiety behavior. they will settle down .

You're right. Getting a second yorkie was the best thing I could have done. It took them a while to get used to each other, but now they're crazy about each other. Even though I live in a one bedroom condo, they run like wildfire together around the circle, through each room. I'm starting to get used to the pack mentality and it gets easier as time goes on. If you acknowledge their attempts at getting attention, they get the message that they are in control. They have to see you as their leader.

Awww no advice for you, but just wanted to say that the pic is soooooooooooo cute!!!! I would get no work done at all if princess kept doing that... good luck theres a lot of great advice on here!!! :thumbup:

When I was at the vet there was an advertisement for a product that is essentially an aromatherapy consisting of mom dog pheromone. It claims to calm even adult dogs and is specifically made to treat separation anxiety. I don't know if it works but my vet isn't one to jump on any unproven bandwagons.