Fletcher is toy possessive
 

Im at my wits end and afraid for my Dex. I've research how to train possessive dogs, but in my research I am finding that Fletch is not guarding or possessive of what he has. He more does not want Dex to ever have a toy or play with one. If Dex starts to play with a toy, Fletch steals it. He stalks and chases Dex until he drops the toy... 99% of the time, Fletch will squeak it once and walk away, he does not want the toy, he just does not want Dex to have it. I always thought Dex was just not interested in toys, but turns out he is, he just never could play with them. Dex actually plays fetch quite well, better than Fletch does, Dex brings the toy right back to you and drops it in your hand. He's so cute! He wags and runs after it when it's thrown and its adorable. We have taken to holding Fletcher back so we can play with Dex and Fletcher barks like a maniac and struggles to get away. Once Dex seems done playing, we let Fletch goes and he is mental getting to the discarded toy, takes it away, squeaks it a couple times and drops it.

The real problem is when they get riled up and Dex gets a toy, Fletcher lately has been getting aggressive taking it away from Dex. It happens quickly and I'm so afraid Fletch (13lbs) is going to seriously hurt Dex (7lbs). Fletcher has jumped on Dex, growling, biting and getting the toy away anyway he can. The other night was so bad I had to pull Fletch off Dex fast & furious and it made Fletch cry out loud. Of course I felt horrible, but he was attacking Dexter, I mean full fledge fight practically in my lap, all over a toy.

Any ideas or thoughts on what is going on here and how I can work to fix things?

I wish I knew what to tell you. Phantom is like that - he has to have ALL the toys, but luckily my girls don't mind and they are happy to give them up to him. The only thing that works is I have to give out six toys for three dogs ... Phantom ends up with four because that's all he can deal with at once, and that's the only way the girls ever get to have one!

I would likely desensitize him to seeing Dex playing with the toy a lot while he's right beside him in the crate with you sitting right there playing with Dex and allowing him to play with the toy and every single time Dex plays with or squeaks his toy or takes it in his mouth, Fletcher gets his very favorite treat - warm, boiled chicken as a reward. Keep the sessions extremely short and frequent.

Always take Fletcher out of the crate and take him outside to break the built-up tension the former training and desensitization will have crated in him. Throw a ball for him and allow him to get his mind off everything each training session has built up. Very slowly and over time, he will come to love Dex' play sessions with his toy and in time, you can leash him and try a short session of a minute with him on the leash out of the crate and a few feet away from Dex as he plays. Keep this first out of the crate session only 60 seconds and then take Fletcher outside and break the tension immediately once it's over.

Getting Fletcher involved in learning that he is NOT the pack leader and doesn't get to make the decisions in your family by starting him on one of the Nothing In Life Is Free programs and making him work for every single bite of food or drink of water or anything he wants for a couple of weeks to start will start to bring him around. He will begin to see who really is the pack leader and can determine who plays with toys or does anything. And he will come to see you as his lifeline - his everything. You will be gentle, patient, loving, understanding and kind and loving in all your dealings so he will come to trust you implicitly, knowing you would never scare or intimidate him, and you two will develop a strong bond during the next few months of reshaping his behavior if you handle him correctly and with a great deal of love. He wouldn't be the way he is now without a certain amount of your having lost your place as respected pack leader and so you will slowly and over time and with great patience reclaim that. Does love a strong, loving pack leader to run the show so they don't have to step in and try to run things.

Starting him on a good, working obedience training program where he slowly learns to love doing what you say and looking to you for positive reinforcement will over time also teach him to do what you say each and every time you request something or give a command. Five minutes 2 or 3 times daily will get him working and loving the positive feedback - and treats - which are just the same as loving word to dogs - he gets for doing what you ask. He'll see your pride in him. It will make him want to please you.

This will further reinforce your position of loving pack leader who gently teaches him with fun and patience what you want him to learn to do and then reward him amply when he actually does it with a treat and genuine praise. Before long, he will be happy to quickly respond to you each and every time and come to deeply respect you.

Once he comes to respect you place of authority and learns how to properly respond to what you tell him to, he will begin to bow out of his over-aggressive attitude toward Dex but it will largely depend on how much fervor and work you put into this process and whether or not you can make it a fun game to do what you say rather than what he wants to do.

Be sure Fletcher gets lots of exercise and play sessions with you during all of this reshaping of his attitude and behavior.

At the end of six to nine months, Dex should be able to play with his toys without Fletcher stepping into the process, though at times any dog will always claim his buddies' toy but you will be there to step in when you think necessary and remind him not to do it and reward him when he backs off. It won't be a quick process and there aren't any quick fixes but it will work in time.

Terrific advice! I had the same problem with two of mine in the past and went to a behaviorist. Their advice was consistent with what YTJ is giving you.

In addition, she had me put all toys away after supervised play sessions (I used a leash for that but I like the crate idea). It reinforces that they are YOUR toys, not Fletch's, and also prevents scuffles from happening when you're not around to supervise. Once the problem has been solved, then the toys can come out again.

It took a month of short daily sessions before I noticed significant progress, but it worked. It also helped to give the dog being picked on a lower value toy at first -- something the aggressor doesn't particularly like.

Mike is absolutely right about taking up and how to dispense the toys - only when supervised until Fletcher changes his stripes.

Thank you!
Thank you!

I will work with Fletch on this. The crate is a great idea.... I just need to train Dex to want to play when I put Fletch in the crate, bc they both LOVE the crate (they think it means they are going somewhere)! LOL

Having two dogs isn't always easy, is it? When you keep pushing the toy at him and teasing him, even with Fletcher nearby, he'll in time come to understand that Fletch is restrained in the crate as you keep baiting him and will soon return your efforts with a swat of his paw or biting at the toy. The moment he does, keep on playing with him and use your other hand to stick in that treat to Fletcher. Dex will no doubt want a piece of hot dog or chicken too but just squeak that toy and keep pushing it at him to rile him up and get him engaged with the toy. You might be sure Dex is well-fed just prior to these sessions. In time he'll learn to ignore Fletcher for the most part and enjoy his short playtime with Mommy and his toy without being attacked. In a minute or so, end the session and take Fletcher outside and play with him. The first few sessions of this desensitization of Fletcher will be awkward and won't go perfectly but just keep at it - both of them will soon learn and accept their parts.