Preception
 

I read a post today and got a really good chuckle out of it....talked about a breeder/exhibitor that is rude and tells it like it is and why do I see it as someone living in a glass house throwing stones? Maybe take a look at oneself before casting that stone....
Yes, I admit I can be blunt and it taken as rude or yes I've said some bad things about breeders/exhibitors in private at my set up but nothing I wouldn't say straight up to the one I said it about at least you know what I'm thinking and not pretending to be something I'm not but the question I want to ask is...if one thinks I"m blunt and or rude, insenstive or said something bad did one think to ask why I felt that way and ask for an explantion? I never remember being asked why I have/had felt that way. Maybe if I would have been asked "why" maybe some would have a better understanding as to why I say what I do or do the things I do. But I will say this....I am who I am, take it or leave it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. I know I can sleep at night knowing I'm doing the best for my dogs and doing things the right way. One might not like my way of saying or doing things but before you pre-judge me ask me why I do and say the things I do before casting a stone because one can't tell me they don't do the same at one time or another at least I can do it to one's face. I may be nice ringside, congratulate you because it is the right thing to do but doesn't mean I have to like you. There are many I don't care for but the professional thing to do is congratulate and be nice when you need to be out of professional courtesy. I just wish more breeders/exhibitors were more upfront and blunt as that is what I was taught. Don't let other run over you. I've learned a valuable lesson in the dog show world. People come into your life for a reason and some leave for a reason....those that stay in your life accept you not turn on you....those that leave didn't belong there anyway. Learn to accept many people because when you pre-judge you just might lose valuable information and yes believe it or not a valuable and good person.
Just saying.......

Donna

Donna,

I think I understand what you are saying. People judging you based on rumour, and then continuing the rumour without the facts. Instead of coming to you directly and asking you to explain your side or your reasons for saying what you said.

I know of one particular breeder that I had heard some horrible things about (breeding practices). I befriended this person to find out for myself. I was chastized by some very reputable breeders for doing so. However, I had to find out for myself if what was being said based on fact or idle gossip. What I found was the rumours were not unfounded. But, at least I went directly to the person and found out for myself.

Yup Mary exactly. As the old saying goes, there is always two sides to every story and if you want to know why one says or do things a certain way just ask and not assume even after meeting them for the first time....
You know, I'm guilty of pre-judging a breeder/exhibitor...I use to not like a breeder/exhibitor because I thought they were snobbish, rude and not someone I wanted to be friends with at one time but when I got to know this person more I really found out my feelings about them were totally wrong and out of line. Sometimes I get a vibe about someone and it was actually wrong with this person...most of the time my gut feelings are right but in this case I was wrong and I'm glad I found out I was wrong about this breeder/exhibitor! Now we are great friends and I could have missed out on a great friendship had I not got to know them :)
But with me at least you know what/how I think and feel when ya meet me, either you'll like me or not. Some people just don't mesh. As I said, some come into your life to stay and some go and there is a reason for that!

Donna

Well, first of all... are you sure they were talking about you in the post? There are a lot of people that are a little....hmmm.... Forward... Opinionated? I would say just from reading about you here that you definately have your opinions. Sometimes I like what you say, sometimes maybe I don't but you are correct, you don't pull any punches and you say what's on your mind. I always admire people that can do that. I am one of those fence sitters. You know the kind of person, I always am seeing both sides and trying to understand both sides, have a hard time making up my mind. I like how you're decisive. Sometimes I like how I am too. I hope someday we get a chance to meet in person. :p

Donna - I have only heard good things about you. Sometimes you just have to go on and ignore what others say, because if they are talking about you, they are talking about everyone behind their backs too. I would not worry. I like you the way you are. You are straightforward and honest and I like that in a person. I know exactly what you are thinking, no guesses.

Notice the old timers just stay in their own world and not worry about what anyone else has to say, yet will confront the person spreading the rumors head on.

What I have found too - is that rumors are most of the time just that, rumors/false accusations. And like Mary said she did - if you hear rumors go to the person and learn for yourself if they are true or not. Then you will know. No one should be a product of the rumors and continue the game of spreading untruth.

I enjoy your posts your very direct and you dont beat around the bush. There seems to be alot of show breeder bashing on here recently so Im not surprised someone is critiquing your post. Just keep being who you are not everyone is going to like you because you are principled and they have resentment

I just do not get it - Why hate show breeders? We are trying to do what is right and we are doing our own hard work. Like I said before, everyone has choices. If you do not like the choice you made because it is too hard, maybe it was the wrong choice for you. (Not directed at anyone in particular)Don't try to blame someone else for the choices you make.
I know someone, a young adult, and he always tries to blame his mistake on everyone else. Or if he cannot do something, it was because someone was in their way - it was the other person's fault. Never taking responsiblity for their own decisions. Trying to say sorry when they make a mistake is not in their vocabulary. I hope this is not what our world is coming to when people cannot be responsible for their own actions. JMO

LOL...I never said the post was about me but it did remind me of something that was said about me some time back :) That's why the post I read made me chuckle.

I actually like someone that likes to understand both sides...wish I were more like that but unfortunately being opinionated and not pulling any punches is a side of me that has developed due to me being a person that was naive at one point and let others run all over me in the past. We don't all have to like some comments nor agree with it that's what makes it educational and a learning process. I would love to meet you one day :) Maybe in NY? That would be great :)
Donna

I noticed that too, and I thoroughly agree with you. Donna I learn so much from your posts, your time here is much appreciated by me and many others. I feel like some people could read a text book, and criticize the author by saying, "How harsh," some things don't need to be sugar coated, a fact is a fact.

Just to clarify, nothing was posted on YT or any other forum saying it was me or critiquing me LOL...I just saw a post one another fourm that reminded me of something that happened to me some time back and just made me think about a situtation and wondered why I wasn't asked about why I said the things I did or did things the way I do before judging me. If people would just ask me I will tell them. As everyone knows I pull no punches :) I can say at least I say it straight up and not hide it.

Well,
I could add so many personal experiences here , but i will just say this:

"Nobody throws stones or poke sticks on trees that are not bearing any fruits."

Does that makes sense to you Donna? i am trying to translate a saying... i hope you get what i mean.

XOXO

lol... :)

Like my mom always said actions speak louder than words - it's so easy to pre-judge people and in reality....sometimes can be very wrong - what you're saying makes alot of sense

Anyone who is breeding to improve the breed is AOK in my book. You all pour your hearts into what you do ...and I know showbreeders come in all forms.

Being blunt is no crime. Everyone has their own way of speaking and while it may be misunderstood - honest and direct is nothing to apologise for. Its a small world in that area so I'd think those who know you on a personal level feel as you do - It's good to see showbreeders even here ! I know lots can be 'above' posting on forums but that's life and it'll probably always be this way -

I am new here, have no dog in this hunt but I had to say I would rather talk to someone who is a straight shooter than a mealy mouth Melanie any day. I have observed already that people come out of the woodwork on sites like this to stir the pot... makes you wonder if they have a life : )

[QUOTE=topknot;3209370] because if they are talking about you, they are talking about everyone behind their backs too.


Yup, you're right...if they are talking about one, you can bet they talk about others behind their backs too....funny how that works out...

Once again, those who live in glass houses....

The first two yorkie show breeders I ever met were also the two biggest wenches I ever met. They bad mouthed every yorkie person who was not in sight but were sugar-sweet to everyone when face-to-face. Almost (but not quite) sent me running for cover forever. I thought if all dog show people were like this, I wanted nothing to do with it. Since then, I have met some of the most wonderful people ever. I have to say, I prefer those that say it like it is, rather than that couple of two-timing, back-stabbing b%^$^#. Donna, just continue to be Donna, I don't know you at all, but I like what I read and I respect you a lot.

Donna, I would so love to meet you, I have had to curb my bluntness because I was always being Chastised for hurting peoples feelings. I so understand.
Like Mary I to heard rumours being spread about a breeder I had become aquainted with and after having to constantly hear this person being maligned I asked her. She let me know the situation and I found the rumours to be unfounded and have since distanced myself from the originator of the rumours. The breeder that was being talked about is now a very good friend and has helped me tremendously with breeding and showing.

"My grandaddy used to tell me to never judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes."

Yeah, wait just a minute...I thought I was the blunt, rude and insensitive one in the group..LOL
I posted about designer breeds on another forum...I did get on my soap box a bit! A member posted and asked who died and made me "Queen of the Yorkies"..I love that title.

We are all going to be talked about...I always say you are somebody when they talk about you...

Naw! You aren't blunt, rude and insensitive....just have a dry sense of humour.

Better Queen of the Yorkies than The Yorkie Mafia

Mary, do you remember the post long ago about the member who rubbed their Yorkies nose in pee to make it stop...as I recall I said if I was the dog I would bite their butt...didn't quite use the word BUTT...LOL

If it was long ago....I don't remember it. But, I agree; if I was the dog I'd bite their butt......

Well, I hear your going to NY! We'll get to meet there then :) I'm always in NY if the good lord willing!

The reason for the thread is this....Just before you pre-judge because something didn't go your way, or something was said you didn't like, or things wasn't done according to how one thought it should go don't presume to think it's always like that unless you actually asked why it was that way, or why it was said ect....Yes, I can be a biatch, rude sometimes, insenstive according to some but remember there is a reason behind the way I am. I'm not just this way for the heck of it...if I say something like, I don't like that yorkie in the show ring, or that's incorrect or I don't like that person or this person I have reasons and usually it's a pretty darn good one unless I made a mistake and of course then I admit the mistake was made and correct it. I have a close circle of friends and they know I speak my mind and always will.
No need to sugar coat anything....I did that for many years and was walked on by doing so. At least if I have something to say I say it and it's up front, if that is a fault so be it. It's my fault and if you can't live with it move on but let me assure that we all at some point say things we shouldn't but be a big person and own up to it! If one thing I've learned in my personal life and outside life is, no one will take care of me but me!

You live in MI, so you must be aquainted with Sharon Todd.

I sure hope so.
I try not to judge people by the first impression only because I don't know them, I try to get to know them and then base my impression from that. Anyway with that being said I look forward to meeting you and whoever else will be in New York .

Audrey you are too kind! I am a drummer that beats to my own drum most of the time and yes I will always be me no matter what :) Learned that the hard way LOL...
I don't backstab I say it to ones face if anything! I am nice to those I don't like ringside or on show grounds because it's the professional thing to do.
I've been called worse than a wench LOL but oh well it doesn't bother me. I've grown a heart of steel for the most part at least in the dog show world.
Stick with it girl there are wenches in every aspect of life :)

Donna

I really look forward to meeting you too!! This will be exciting!! You'll have to find me and come up to me because I'm usually in my own little world or running around like a chicken with it's head cut off LOL..

Beyond true. I always say it's not gossip if you will repeat that to the person you are talking abouts face. Also sweep your own doorstep before you worry about others. It can be very harsh and cruel in the dog show world and OMG the horse world is awful how daggers are slung. I work in a very much male dominated world that horrible rumors can be cast and I always hope one gets to know me before they judge my sins or what they think are sins. Honesty is always the best!

By the by I didn't mean for that to come off as harsh as that did, just repeating my thoughts....

I look forward to meeting you also, I will definitely look for you and say hi.

Can't wait! Love meeting new people!!! Maybe if there's time we'll make a stop for a snack at the Tic Tock Diner :)