I'm sorry. I just needed alittle time
 

to myself to sort this all out. I couldn't log onto YT because I didn't know what and how to say this.

The what if's, the feeling of blame on me, wishing I could have done something. But the bottom line is no matter what...it just sucks. :(

I guess how the old saying goes "oh it will never happen to me" well it has and it will.

Meiah did have her BABIES, yes, the singleton turned out to be a litter of two.

I lost them both :(

The first one was pretty big. Meiah is normally about 4 3/4 lbs. This baby was almost 6 oz. Her last pups have been 4 oz. She came breach. But her head was stuck in the canal. The sak broke as well. I was running out of time and had to pull the pup (it was stuck hard) but it was too late.
Devistated me. Went out side to recoup, came back in within minutes, and she had delivered another. This was a boy....real tiny....only 2 3/4 oz.

He was gasping and I worked on him and worked on him. Then upon inspection in his mouth, he had a cleft pallet. A pretty good one that ran all the way from his hard pallet thru to his soft pallet. If I could have got him going I would have doen ANYTHING to keep keep him alive, just like a did my Chi Tia, but I lost him :(

I know we go into this expecting the unexpected but I didn't expect this. My poor Meiah.

I bond with the babies before they are born, talking with them, feeling them...and then this.

This is my first time losing a pup, let alone the whole litter. I've told myself going into this that it would be a possibility, but didn't expect it to hit me so hard.

Breeding is not to be taken likely. I hope anyone thinking about breeding really does their homework. But all the books you read, all the videos you watch, can never really prepare you for what can happen, until your right there, living it.

I want to thank Deb (tiggerr3692) for her suport and care.

I just wanted to let everyone know what happened and why I had to take some time for me and Meiah.

Thanks for all your prayers.

I'm so sorry Breny. Thinking of you during this time.

All I have to offer is hugs and prayers for healing. I'm so sorry.

Oh sweet Meiah and Breny!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Is meiah physically ok after that big one? I hope so. You're both in my thoughts tonight.

It's so hard losing one. A whole litter, I can only imagine the devastation. Praying for healing for you two.

soooo soooo sorry for your and Meiah's lose....hope she is physically ok....and she will eventually get there mentally....prayers and good thoughts with you at this time.....

I am very sorry for the loss of these two precious babies.

Tammy

I'm so sorry to hear that you and your girl had to go through this. Hugs.

Oh, I'm so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
It's obvious how much you love all your babies and I'm sure this is extremely difficult for you. I hope Meiah is ok!

Brenda, I am so sorry. :( I know nothing anyone can say will make you feel better...it takes time.

My heart was broken when I lost 2 of Mikayla's three babies her last litter...I was so depressed for a couple days, and it isn't a bit easy.

You're 100% correct, people need to REALLY think about this before they decide to breed, it is always a sad possibility, and I HATE that it happened to you and your poor Meiah.

Can you maybe give her one or two of Macey's pups so that she won't be so upset? They're only a week or two now, right?

Again, I am so sorry, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I just went through this, and I know how horrible it makes you feel. Just remember, there was NOTHING else you could've done. That baby was just too big and the little one had a deformity that couldn't be helped. You did NOTHING wrong...thank God you were there for Meiah, just think about that. You probably saved HER life!

Oh Breny........I am so very sorry to hear this news. We do become instantly bonded to these babies from the moment they are (hopefully) conceived, up to and through the time that they are born, so naturally losing any of them is hard to bear. I hope that Meiah is doing okay and that you both can comfort each other during this difficult time. ((((HUGS)))))

:( I\'m so sorry! :(

I\'m so sorry :(

Thank you for sharing this. We will be praying for you and Meiah.

I am so sorry! I wish I could hug you both. :(