Cancer, again!
 

I am so tired of everyone I love and care about having to deal with this disease!!

My dad stepped off a curb 2 weeks ago and hurt his knee. It didn't get any better so he went for an xray. They noticed a suspicious spot on the thigh and sent him for an MRI. Turns out he had a cyst/tumor that had eaten through the muscle into the bone. They referred him to a bone specialist and an oncologist. Before he could get in to see either of the referral doctors, Monday morning he stood up and broke the femur. They did a whole slew of tests, and did a biopsy and surgery today and told us he has multiple myeloma. This is a form of blood cancer, and although it's treatable, it's not curable. His 5 year survival rate is less than 35% for his age.

What I'm going to say next is going to sound tacky and horrible, but I am just disgusted with my stepmom and her whole attitude towards this. She is a very firm believer, and that's fine, but because she has this faith and belief that god is going to heal my dad, she refuses to ask questions of the doctors, or anyone else regarding my dad's care. And her sister told me that I just needed to let her (my stepmom) talk to the doctors-she's his wife and she'll make the decisions. She just wants him "to not be in pain and to be better". She will ask for pain medicine for him even if he doesn't seem to be in pain-he could be sleeping but she'll request the pain meds anyway. And today, she didn't think the drs should wake him or rouse him after surgery, they should have just let him sleep...I couldn't make her understand that they have protocols and they follow them to keep patients healthy. Having anesthesia in your system for too long isn't healthy. Her and my step sister actually said this is good news when we found out. Why? Because having multiple myeloma means it's not bone sarcoma, and they won't have to amputate his leg. Yes, that's great, but he has cancer. And she has her head in the clouds and doesn't want to realize that this is serious. This means chemo and radiation and possible stem cell transplants, but she doesn't want to hear about any of it, because god is going to heal him.
I tried to talk to her about his short term disability and she said "he'll be fine". I guess she isn't understanding that he's going to have 6-8 weeks of rehab for his leg, which now has a rod from hip to knee, and several screws. And 2 weeks into rehab, he'll be doing whatever course of treatment they decide he needs. She doesn't work, and he's already been off 3 weeks, how is she expecting to pay the bills? They have no savings, and live on his paychecks, week to week.

UgH!!!!! I'm so frustrated.

Michele, I am so very sorry to hear your dad has cancer, and a broken leg on top of it. I'm sending prayers for him and for you and your family.

I too am sick of love ones having this disease. I lost my DH to cancer 5 years ago, and now my mom is in final stages of plasma cell myeloma.

Michele I am so sorry. It always seems like when it rains it pours. I understand your step mom having the faith that God will heal; however, I believe that you have to use your resources on Earth. God put those doctors as a resource here. I will continue to pray for your family. Stay strong my friend.

So sorry to hear your going thro this with your dad. May God bless you and your dad.

Michelle, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I understand your frustration. I have lost several loved ones over the years to cancer and other things. I know how it is to feel so helpless. Is your dad capable of making his own decisions when it comes to his treatment? My prayers will be with you, your dad, and your family. Hugs.

Michelle, I am praying for your Dad to get well. I so hope one day someone can come up with a cure for that horrible disease. Hugs, Dyan

I am so sorry about your dad. Cancer is a horrible disease. My mom is going through treatment. Since you are his daughter maybe you can talk to the drs by yourself and get some answers that you need

I'm so sorry Michele :(. Cancer is so terrible, as I know personally in my own family. You and your Dad and family will be in my thoughts.

So sorry to hear about your father. Prayers coming your way. Hopefully your father will become interested in his treatment and weigh in on what he wants in health care. Hang in!

Michele, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dads illness. I completely understand your frustration with your step mom & sis. You & your Dad are in my prayers.

Michele, I am so very sorry to hear about your Dad's cancer and your step-mom's behavior. I agree that faith is a very important part of healing, but God expects us to do our part. I hope that someone can talk some sense into your step mom and step sister. Maybe you could ask her minister to come and talk with her. Unless of course, that is unless they believe solely in faith healing. You and your Dad and step mom will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

Argh. I am so sorry to hear this Michelle :( what is your dads input (if any) into the situation regarding his care preferences?

gosh just seeing this now and I am so sorry. Sending many well wishes for your dad and the upcoming things he is facing. sending you prayers of patience to deal with your step mom sounds a bit difficult and I understand fully what you mean my dh's step mom says the same thing in any situation.