Please help me
 

Last night I had to say goodbye to my best friend. He has been with me through the loss of my mother and then my husband. He loved both of thme dearly. He has been my comforter, my cheerleader, my defender and my soft place to land. One who always loved me and was always on my side.
My little 14 year old has a history of various medical problems including pancreatitis.
He was recently diagnoised with enlarged heart and has been on medication for about one month.
Last night he started breathing really hard after being groomed. The groomer is wonderful and he loves her. I took him to the ER and they put him in oxygen tank. He threw up foamy blood three or four times. He really hates being in small places and was panicked over being in the oxygen tank.
The vet told me she suspected his lungs were filling with fluid. She said there was possibly a tare near the heart valve which would cause him to throw up the blood (not sure exactly what she said)
She gave me several options; Go to specialist ER (she said she did not think he could make the trip) Run some tests to determine how much fluid etc and treat him or put him to sleep.
Based on his lack of response to the oxygen she did not think he would respond to any other treatment.
It happens that My vet is the husband of the ER vet. I asked her to call him and get his opinion. He was very surprised that my little guy got this sick this quickly.
I did not want him to die with strangers. I wanted to be with him. She told me if he started to go during th night she could call me. Of course no gurantees on wheter she would be able to call me in time.
She said she had doubts that he would make it through the night.
I decided to have him put to sleep. I was so afraid that he would be alone and I did not want that to happen.
Now I am second guessing my decision. Did I do the right thing? Or should I have let them run the tests and try the treatments?
I love him so and I miss him terribly. But, I did not want him to suffer. I did not want him to come home and end of dying alone when I was at work.
I have heard that heart disease is a really terrible death for them.
Did I do the right thing for my boy? I just don't know?
Has anyone had similar experience? Anyone know about heart failure?
My heart is broken.

So very very sorry.

How absolutely heart wrenching for you to have make this terrible decision....but do NOT ever second guess your decision. You did exactly what was best for your precious baby....he knew he could trust you to make the best decisions for him his entire life....he knew his best interest was always the motivating factor in any decision you made for him.....given your options as you related them in your post, I personally would have done the very same thing. He left for Rainbow Bridge in the safety and comfort of his most beloved and trusted friends, and there is no other option he would have wanted if he had been able to speak his wishes to you. You rest easy with the decision you made.....as you did his entire life, you thought of him and what was in his best interest first.....that is the very best thing, the most noble and honorable thing for you to do.....

My heart breaks for you, and I will include you in my prayers....

I'm so very sorry for your sudden loss - my heart just really breaks for you. Rest assured that you did the right thing, made the right decision...and try to find some peace in that. You gave your little baby the very best life, and it's clear he had wonderful care.

I am so very very sorry for your loss! He left quietly surrounded by your precious love, you were with him to the very end. I can not think of a more right way to go/do, than what you decided.


Your lovely boy chose his time to go - knowing that you would be there for him.


My heart goes out to you. (((Hugs)))

It is clear that you made the decision out of love for him...it is also clear you made sure he had the care he needed. You made a completely selfless decision...I hope you find peace knowing that he was comforted by being with you and that he felt that love.

I am SO sorry for what you are feeling right now. I went through this not long ago with a foster (Tommy) who I had had for years...he was a dear boy and I still feel sick over him at times. He went bad suddenly one night and I rushed him to the EC. His lungs were filling up and foam and bubbles were coming out of his nose and mouth....he was literally drowning. The vet gave him Lasix and put him in oxygen but he was SO bad and not responding to the med . Tommy had never had a murmur or any heart issues previously and had just had his yearly exam and a dental right before this incident. The EC vet said he was quite sure it was a rupture of chordae tendinae (sounds like that is what happened to your baby). I too was faced with an awful decision...anyone who knows me, knows that if I could have saved him I would have....I am often at specialists with my pups and my fosters. The vet told me that even IF he could stabilize him throughout the night and he was able to go to the specialists, the long term prognosis would not be good. Weeks...maybe a couple of months. I made that same awful decision for Tommy that you made for your baby....I say awful because it is SO hard for us. But, deep in my heart I knew I was doing it for Tommy. I did not want him to suffer and, like you, I would not leave him there to die alone. It is a hard thing to do....it is done with love. I hope you will feel better about it soon....I hope that my story helps you. I thought I had posted about it here on YT, but I could not find it. I just looked and it is on my FB page. I was so torn up and I still see him at times struggling to breathe...just horrible when I think too long about it BUT the other side of me knows that it would have been worse for him if I let it go any longer.
I wish you peace. |

Here is a link about ruptured chordae tendonae in dogs. Note that the mortality rate is high:

https://www.vetstream.com/canis/Cont...e/dis00920.asp

It was really horrible...I was so traumatized by it. I had never had a pup go through anything like that. So sudden and unexpected.

I am so very sorry for your loss. You gave your lil guy the best and most unselfish gift possible, by lovingly helping him to a better place, where he is pain free and at peace. I hope you will come to find some peace too , and know that you made the best decision, even though it was hard.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your loving care, in not wanting him to suffer or be alone at the end, is commended.

So sorry for your heart breaking loss. You did absolutely the right thing. To be the there is the most important thing. "We who chose to love.....We cherish the memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan." I wish you peace and sweet dreams of your baby.

I am so sorry for your loss of your baby. You did the right thing by making the decision to let him go peacefully when it was time. We are never ready for that time to come, but had you not let him peacefully go, you might be asking yourself if you put him through too much trauma, panic and pain trying to prolong his life. You made the loving decision not to put him through that. Hugs...

I am so sorry you had to make this difficult decision. You made this decision based on love and concern that your sweet yorkie not suffer unnecessarily. The hardest decisions are the ones where what we know is best goes against our hearts wishes. You lovingly placed your babies needs over your wants.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a horrible decision to have to make but please don't feel guilty, you absolutely did the right thing.

Im so sorry for your loss, you did what was best for your baby

I am so very sorry for the loss of your little boy. I just want to let you know that you did the right thing. I know that you did everything that you possibly could have done to help your baby. How do I know that?, because I went through the same thing that you are now going through.

My "Kloee" had a few bouts of pancreatitis and had a heart murmur all of her life. 9 months before her passing, I had her on medications to help drain the fluid in her lungs and to help her breathe easier because the murmur had gotten worse. The last thing that I did for her was have the Vet put her in an oxygen tank. That helped for a day, then things drastically turned for the worse.

It was around 2am when I tried to get her to drink a little water. As she was drinking, I walked out of the kitchen so I wouldn't be a distraction. That's when I heard a thump and raced in there to find her lying on the floor having a seizure. I didn't know what to do but collapse to my knees by her and scream "NO,Kloee!". I put her on her feet and all she could do is look at me with her eyes and that said it all, it was time to let go. She was tired, tired of fighting. I did everything I could, she fought, but couldn't fight any longer.

I had called my friend, which was out of town at the time, and told her and asked her if she thought of anything else that I could do for "Klo". She was crying also and reassured me that I did everything that I could and that it was time to let go.

Please don't beat yourself up by second guessing yourself, because you did everything that you could for your little boy. He knows how much you loved him and he couldn't have had a better mommy to take care of him. RIP "Baby Boy":rbyorkie:

mama to Jax:animal37 Johcee:cat: Lucee:cat: and "Kloee"RIP:angelyork

Oh dont second guess yourself. you did the right thing out of great love for you fur love. You honored him/her sorry by loving them and being there to say goodby. Sounds like your baby was very very ill and you gave him/her peice. Your last act of a great love. Iknow you are hurting. Idid the same thing with my doxie. You are hurting enough dont add to your grief. Sooooo sorry for your loss .

I am so sorry for your loss of your lil' doxie. RIP "Lil' Baby":rbyorkie:

Thanks to all of you
 

It has been almost two moths sincei had to let my little boy go. I kniw i did the best thing for him. My vet called the next day and reassured me. Told me i gave him an amazing life in spite of all of his health problems.
He has left a huge hole in my heart. Everyone who knew him loved him. He was a very special little boy. I know i will see him again some day. But until then this house is very quiet and empty.

Thanks for your loving and kind comments. Your support meant so much to me. God bless you.

Happy to see you here. It takes time and even then, it never goes away. Yes, you will see him again. I totally believe that. God would not give us such wonderful beings and not let us join them again.

*hugs* to you

Ahh, bless your heart. I know how hard it is, and do hope that time will help heal some.

I am so very sorry for your loss

you made the decision with love and instinct.
And if you had decided the other way and he died that night, you would have made a decision based on love and instinct.
I probably would have made the same decision that you went with.

I am so sorry for you loss. I could almost feel the pain in your heart when I read your note. We love our little ones so much and want to do everything possible to do what is right for them it is natural to wonder if we could have or should have done something different. Your baby had 14 years with you and helped you through difficult times in your life. He was your "rock"and you must feel lost without him. But you absolutely did the right thing for him. He trusted you to make the right decisions for him at the end as you had all along his life. He knew you were there with him which is what he needed more than anything else in the world. My heart aches for you because I know how much you must miss him. It also aches because my 15 year old boy was just diagnosed with prostate cancer two weeks ago and I am having to make difficult choices also. I am afraid of making the wrong ones too. His condition is not now critical like your baby''s was but I fear as time goes on (as there is no cure, only 9-12 months at best) when it will become so, wait too long causing suffering or end his little life too soon. So I understand completely how you second guess your decision. But I do believe with the cardiac problem causing the airway issues which can be so acute, you had to go with your gut....you didn't let him suffer. You let him rest and he is at peace. My heart goes out to you. I hope when it's my time I can be as strong as you. Betsy

As I read your post, all I wanted to do was give you a hug. I know what you are going through, and it is so so hard. I recently had to make the same decision and felt so guilty. After many months of medical treatments, surgery etc..we had come to the end of medical intervention. I held my little guy in my arms and knew that my keeping him alive any longer was for me. The kind and loving choice was to let him go to the Rainbow Bridge with me holding him telling him I loved him, and it was ok. My vets were truly wonderful. They gave me all the time I needed to hold him and talk to him…I loved him so much that I didn't want him to suffer, knowing there was no chance of recovery any way I looked, it was the most loving act I could ever do for him. He was a spunky little man, who loved his walks and playing and eating. He wasn't enjoying any of those things anymore. I still cry over him, but I am sure it was the most loving thing I could do for him. My heart goes out to you, but to me you loved your little one enough to let him have a peaceful, loving goodbye. The fact that you were afraid of him being alone was so touching. Huge hug and deepest sympathy to you.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy *prayers*

Today I had to put my little baby to rest, and can feel your pain. She was 15 1/2. I want to tell you how much I admire you for what you did. I wish I could be as unselfish and loving as you were, putting his needs in front of your own. In my case, I waited much too long, knowing now that I put my baby through more pain than she deserved, thinking that things were going to turn around. I know now that if you can save your little one from one more day of pain and suffering, it's the kindest thing you can do for them. The vet told me today that this will be one of the worst days of my life, but the best day in the life of my little yorkie. i'm trying to hold onto that thought through this unimaginable pain and grief. Don't know if I'll ever be able to give my forgive myself for prolonging her pain. Please believe in yourself and know what a kind, compassionate, caring person you truly are. Bless you!