(cont) Chapter 3 - An Invitation
 

Emmett responded with booming laughter. Renesmee jolted upright, her eyes suddenly wide and alert. She looked around briefly for the cause of his amusement. Then her eyelids started to droop sleepily again. "He’d better be! I still owe him a rematch. I never get tired of beating him."

"Yeah, well, I’d like to beat him…" Rosalie spoke through clenched teeth, not finishing her comment.

I rolled my eyes. I sincerely hoped that they’d eventually move past their jealous tendencies, for my own sanity. It got very tiresome having to constantly play referee to your vampire sister and wolf best friend.

Rosalie got up from her chair and crossed the living room to pluck Renesmee from her seat atop Emmett. She was quickly going limp with the exhaustion from her busy day. Rosalie cradled her in her arms as she gave in to her fight with sleep. "It’s her bed time," Rosalie said, turning back to me. "Would you like me to carry her to the cottage for you?" I could have easily managed on my own, but the look on her face told me that she was eager to accept the task.

I smiled in response, "Sure Rose. That would be very helpful. I need to take my luggage back anyway." It wasn’t a lie, and I would appreciate the company on the walk to the cottage. I dashed to the foyer and grabbed my suitcase and duffle bag. The rest could wait until tomorrow.

I returned to the living room where Rosalie stood waiting with Renesmee, glaring at Emmett who held his phone to his ear. "…I’m sure they’ll show it on the highlight show tonight….well, you’d better fill it back up before you bring it back…." The combination of Emmett’s conversation and Rosalie’s glare gave me a pretty good indication of who was on the other end of the conversation.

"Ready, Rosalie?" I asked.

"Sure," she all but growled, not dropping her glare from Emmett. "Apparently all intelligent conversation has ended here for the night." He merely waved her off and turned his back on us, walking towards the kitchen. She turned and joined me as we headed towards the backdoor. We paused before stepping outside long enough for Alice, who’d suddenly reappeared, to plant a kiss on Renesmee’s forehead. She stirred slightly, but didn’t wake otherwise. "See you tomorrow, Bella." She beamed. I didn’t have to have Edward’s mind reading ability to know that she was up to something.

Rosalie and I started across the backyard of the Cullen house and towards the river in the direction of the cottage. Rosalie walked at a very relaxed pace so I fell into stride behind her, carrying my heavy suitcases effortlessly, as if they weighed five pounds instead of fifty.

"Did you enjoy your first term in college?" Rosalie asked casually.

"Yes, surprisingly. And the house there is beautiful," I responded. It still seemed a bit odd to carry on conversation with the one member of the Cullen family who I knew had truly resented me at one point in time.

"I always did like that house…better than this one even. I am glad you are all back though. It’s good to have the whole family together. One can only take so much of Emmett and the dog together." The hint of disgust I’d sensed in her voice had returned.

"So Jake’s been spending a lot of time here?" Not that this was surprising news, really. He had been around quite a bit ever since Renesmee had been born. "With Emmett?" I tried to sound surprised, but I’d picked up on it earlier.

"Yes!" she all but growled. "It’s as if they are long lost brothers. It’s horrible. They start every morning as soon as…." She broke off, her voice beginning to shake with anger. I heard her teeth grind together.

As I had come to realize in previous years, Rosalie was easily made jealous. I knew that she envied the bond between Jacob and Renesmee. Any attention that Emmett showed to Jacob was just salt on the wound. I’d rather hoped that the situation had lessoned in the time we’d been gone, but their resentment of each other only seemed to have increased. I frowned at this thought. But still, I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Rosalie. Emmett was her soul mate, just as Edward was mine. I could only imagine the amount of taunting Emmett and Jacob could dole out as a united force. Of course, with us gone, Rosalie was the only available target.

"So," she began, changing the subject, "normally Renesmee eats breakfast around 8:30…we take turns cooking for her…I usually teach her lessons afterwards…"

"Of course," I confirmed, "I want her to stay on the schedule she’s used to."

"Good," she grinned, her mood brightening, "I’ll see you all in the morning then." I could tell she truly enjoyed this responsibility.

The forest around us cleared a bit. We’d reached the small, uneven cobblestone path that led to the cottage. The familiar smells of the house Edward and I shared welcomed me home—leather, aged wood, vanilla, moss and something else…roses? I inhaled deeply, breathing it all in and stepped ahead of Rosalie to open the door as she was still carrying Renesmee’s sleeping form. As I opened the door, I discovered the source of the smell.

(cont) Chapter 3 - An Invitation
 

"I’ll just put her to bed and be on my way," Rosalie said to me slyly as she disappeared down the small hall.

I gaped at the scene before me. The room was lit by dozens of flickering candles. They were scattered throughout the main area and cast dancing shadows on the walls and ceiling. Hundreds of roses of assorted colors adorned the room from wall to wall, all in expensive looking crystal vases. The floor was covered in a blanket of rose petals. The sound of my lullaby filled the room softly from the stereo in the corner. Standing in the very middle of the room, holding a single long stemmed red rose was Edward.

"See you in the morning…" Rosalie sang as she breezed back through the living room and out the front door, not pausing for a response. She stirred the fragrance in the room and left a flurry of petals in her wake.

A wicked smile spread across Edward’s face that would have stopped my heart had it still been beating. "Welcome home, Mrs. Cullen." He slowly began to close the distance between us and for the second time in a day I found myself catching my breath. His wore a blue shirt with small, white vertical stripes. The long sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbows and it clung slightly to his torso accentuating his broad, masculine chest. The shirt hung just below the waist of his jeans. The light from the candles reflected off his unkempt bronze hair. He looked as if he just stepped off a runway.

He stopped a few inches away and looked down at me, his warm butterscotch eyes burning into mine, and reached up to trace from my temple down my cheek to my jaw with the rose he still held. I stammered, trying to find the right words, "How did you….?" He smiled crookedly down at me, stopping me mid sentence. "Alice." We both declared in unison.

"And you said you couldn’t read my mind…" I accused, narrowing my eyes playfully.

"I can’t, silly girl," he joked, tapping my forehead with his finger, "but that’s not really what’s important right now."

"Oh really, and what is important, Mr. Cullen?" I teased.

He didn’t answer at first. He merely scooped me up, wrapping his arm around my waist lifting me so that my feet were a few inches off the ground. With his other hand, he took mine and began slowly turning me around to the sound of my lullaby. "Well," he began, finally answering, "I was trying to remember exactly how long it has been since I have had you all alone to myself…"

"Four months, 2 weeks, 5 days, 16 hours and 23 minutes," I provided with certainty.

"Well that, my dearest Bella, is far too long." He leaned forward, tilting my chin up until his lips pressed to mine, gently at first, and then moving more aggressively in unison with mine. I moved my hands to grip fistfuls of his hair and felt his arm tighten around my waist, pulling my body closer to his. Liquid fire began to spread from where our lips touched down through the veins in my body. I didn’t realize Edward had been moving us across the room until I felt my back press against the bookcase that lined the wall of the living room. Edward slid his hand up the length of my arm until he found my hand and untangled it from his hair. Grabbing hold of my wrist, he moved my arm until it was pinned outstretched over my head against the leather bound books and pressed himself even closer to me. He pulled his lips from mine and moved them to my neck and down until they found my collarbone.

I closed my eyes and fought to shake the fog from my head. "Edward…" I managed to force out in a groan.

"Say no more!" he replied eagerly. He swept me up and carried me to our bedroom, where we remained for the rest of the night.



******

(cont) Chapter 3 - An Invitation
 

I lay in bed watching the room slowly turn from its dark purple hue to soft pink with the breaking dawn. As the sun broke the horizon over the nearby mountains, the room began to take on its normal daytime appearance. From down the hall, I heard Renesmee beginning to stir in her bed. I groaned, wishing the night could have lasted just a few hours longer. Edward chuckled lightly beside me, obviously having understood the meaning behind my groan. He reached up and traced my lower lip as I pushed it forward in a stubborn pout. "There is no use in trying to avoid the inevitable," he said teasingly.

I sighed. "I know." I heard the springs of Renesmee’s bed squeak slightly as she stirred again. Edward threw back the covers of the bed and was standing on the floor in one fluid movement. I took his outstretched hand and allowed him to pull me to my feet. I cast one last longing glance towards the comfortable looking bed before making my way to the closet. I’d had the chance before we’d left for Hanover to rearrange the massive Alice-stocked closet, which included pushing the more extravagant silk and lace ensembles as far to the back as possible. I pulled a pair of stylishly faded jeans from the shelf and a pale lavender button up shirt from its hanger. After I was dressed, I stuffed my feet into a pair of brown hiking boots and was just tying the second lace as the sound of small feet running down the hall pulled me from my thoughts.

"Mommy!" Renesmee greeted me excitedly as I entered the living room, flinging herself into my arms. "I’m ready for breakfast!" She placed her hand to my cheek, showing me a remembered vision of steaming blueberry muffins and scrambled eggs. It looked very unappealing.

"Well, you’d better get dress…" she didn’t allow me to finish my sentence before she shot back down the hall to her room, leaving a trail of brown curls behind her.

"Yes, we’ll be there in just a few minutes." Edward stepped from the bedroom, snapping shut his tiny silver phone. "Rosalie," he said, answering my puzzled stare. I rolled my eyes. Yes it was evident that Rosalie took this responsibility very seriously.

Renesmee was dressed quickly and in minutes the three of us had traveled through the woods and arrived in the big Cullen house. As we walked in the back door, my nose was met by a familiar, yet distant smell. Bacon and fresh buttermilk biscuits—obviously Renesmee’s breakfast was being prepared. I wrinkled my nose in disgust, following the scent to the kitchen. I was surprised to find that it was not one of the Cullens’ preparing her meal, but Jacob.

"Hey Bells!" he greeted me as I entered the kitchen. He slid the bacon from the frying pan onto a plate beside two hot, flaky biscuits and placed the plate on the table in front of an already waiting Renesme. I guessed this had become the normal morning routine. I walked forward to lean on the kitchen counter, watching Jacob as he loaded dishes into the stainless steel dishwasher. I was suspected that until recent months, it had probably never been used.

"You always cook here in the morning Jake?" I asked him.

"Most of the time," he shrugged. "Sometimes Esme cooks, sometimes Rosalie. Blondie’s not half bad as a cook…for a bloodsucker that is."

"Watch it, dog," Rosalie’s ice sharp words rang from the living room.

"She’s setting up for Renesmee’s lessons," he explained, jerking his head in the direction of Rosalie’s voice as he stuffed a whole biscuit into his mouth. "I gotta say, she’s really good at that. Would have made an excellent teacher."

At that moment, Emmett strode into the kitchen, a mischievous look spreading across his face as his eyes came to rest on Edward and myself. "So…" he began. I could tell from the tone of his voice where this was going. "How many pillows did you bite last night, Bro?" Edward dropped his head, covering his mouth and trying unsuccessfully to disguise his humor by clearing his throat. I narrowed my eyes menacingly at Emmett, but before I could threaten him, he turned his attention to Jacob. "Hey, you got my keys?"

"Oh yeah," Jacob reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out two shiny silver keys and tossed them lazily to Emmett.

Emmett caught them midair and headed to the garage. "I’ll meet you out in a few minutes?" he asked, clearly addressing Jacob.

"Yeah, just let me finish up here," Jacob responded.

(cont) Chapter 3 - An Invitation
 

I’d forgotten about their exchange yesterday. "Jake, why do you have Emmett’s keys?" Jacob suddenly tried to make himself look very busy, although the kitchen was almost spotless at this point.

"Oh…" he stammered, putting away a pan with excessive clanking. "My car gave out on me a few weeks ago. I’m pretty sure it’s the transmission, but I can’t find a replacement anywhere. Emmett’s been lending me his Jeep."

"Oh really!" Edward exclaimed, his expression suddenly brightening hopefully. He brought his hands together in front of him and rubbed them together briskly.

"Yeah, really! But don’t you get any ideas, I will get it running again!"

"Edward…Bella…could I have a few words with you?" Carlisle’s voice interrupted Edward before he could go any further. Even though he was upstairs in his office, we heard him as clearly as if he were standing next to us.

I saw Jacob exhale deeply in relief for the interruption. Edward stepped back a few steps, pointing to Jacob as he did so. "We’ll resume this conversation later." Then he turned to follow me up the stairs. I heard Jacob muttering his objections as he stomped off to the garage.

We entered Carlisle’s office upstairs to find him already sitting behind his large mahogany desk. We walked in and sat in the two plush, high backed chairs in front of him. "I won’t keep you long," he smiled to us. "I just wanted to update you on a few things regarding Renesmee and get your opinions on a few other issues." I noticed that he held Edward’s eyes for a second and saw Edward nod briefly before he continued. This bothered me a little. I frowned slightly and wondered what exchange I’d missed. What did they feel the need to say to one another that they didn’t feel I could be a part of?

Before I’d had a chance to question it, Carlisle continued. "First, concerning Renesme. As I’m sure you have both noticed, she no longer requires a diet of strictly blood. As she has matured, she has developed more of an appetite for human food. Although she does still hunt with us, the frequency has substantially reduced. As to if she will completely wean herself from it is rather unclear at such an early stage in her life."

This was good news as far as I was concerned. As vampires, we constantly battled for control over our thirst. I had come to understand that although it would get easier to control the urges with time, they would always be present. Even Edward, after decades of control, had nearly lost the battle when he’d first met me. My blood had been more appealing to him than any he’d ever encountered and actually caused him physical pain. He’d actually left Forks for a while to escape the temptation. The less Renesmee depended on drinking blood, the less obstacles she would be forced to deal with—one less aspect of her life that would possibly expose us.

"And her growth?" Edward asked, slightly squeezing my hand as he spoke.

"There don’t seem to have been any changes there, physically or intellectually. You can surely note the changes in her physical appearance." We both nodded. "Intellectually, she seems to be advanced. The intellect of a child around ten if I’m estimating. She seems to possess our ability to retain knowledge, and she has a superb grasp on vocabulary. In her lessons, Rosalie is encouraging her to communicate more verbally rather than through her talents. She seems to be progressing well in that area from what Rosalie tells me and what I’ve observed myself."

"Of course, I’ve been sharing all of this with Jacob and Sam. They are both making sure that the teachers in the Quiluete school can prepare for her enrolment in the fall. I feel very confident that she will do well there."

"Thank you Carlisle." I was thankful to him for so much more than just sharing this update with us. He nodded in recognition of my thanks, making it obvious that he understood that.

"There was one more thing I wanted to discuss with the two of you." Edward reached over with his free hand to rub my arm reassuringly, before nodding to Carlisle to continue. "I have already spoken with the rest of the family regarding the subject." He hesitated for a brief moment again. "It’s about the Volturi…more specifically about their desire for us to visit them in the coming months." I swallowed hard, I knew this could not be avoided forever. I knew that things with the Volturi were different now—better. But still, it would be a long time before I was able to move past everything we’d been through because of them. I remained silent for a full minute, reliving my past encounters with them in my head.

"Bella…" Edward said softly.

"And Aro, does he still want…" I let my sentence trail off, turning my head slightly towards Edward, but not taking my eyes off of Carlisle.

"Yes." Carlisle confirmed, "Aro is still very much hopeful that Edward will join them. Alice too….and you Bella. In that one aspect, he has not changed."

I closed my eyes and saw a vision that had filled my head many times before. Edward, clad in a long dark gray robe, his eyes a vivid, ruby color. To his left, a slightly smaller robed figure, with irises matching his—Alice. This time there was a new figure in the vision to his right—me. I clenched my teeth in protest.

"You must understand," Carlisle began hesitantly. "They are extending an invitation for us to visit, not issuing us an ultimatum. The choice is completely up to you."

"Bella, we don’t have to go," Edward began. He moved to the edge of the seat and reached forward to take my face between his palms. He turned my face, forcing me to look at him. "I don’t want you to feel forced into anything if you don’t feel completely comfortable with it." I considered this option for a minute, then turned to face Carlisle.

"We’ll go Carlisle." I said confidently, not a trace of doubt in my voice. "I trust your judgment. I want to show that we support all of the efforts that you have made there." I looked back to Edward who was still watching me apprehensively. "Really. I’m fine with it." I forced a smile, hoping it looked genuine and would ease his doubts. He stared at me for a fraction of a second longer, studying my expression.

Slowly, he turned back to Carlisle and nodded. "Very well. I’ll let the others know and we’ll make preparations to make the trip later in the summer." Although Carlisle remained very businesslike, I could tell there was a hint of gratitude below the surface of his words. He was obviously pleased by our willingness to show our support. "If you don’t mind waiting just a few minutes, I have some information to send to Sam. Samples of Renesmee’s recent work," he added in explanation.

As he sorted through a stack of papers on his desk, I stood up from my chair and began to walk around his office, looking at the dozens of pictures that adorned his wall, not really focusing on any of them.

After a minute, I found that I’d come to stand in front of a picture I’d first seen years ago. A brightly colored picture depicting a scene frozen in time of the Volturi from the time that Carlisle was with them. I looked at them, musing over how they had remained unchanged over time. My eyes wandered from the four central figures to those who stood in the background. I recognized a few of the faces. Demetri stood in the background, looking as lethal as ever. To his side stood Heidi, the only vampire I’d ever encountered whose physical beauty could compete with that of Rosalie. Directly behind the three present leaders stood three women, two of whom I immediately recognized as the wives. But it was the third woman that I did not recognize that caused me to freeze on the spot, unable to tear my eyes from her. She was every bit as striking as the wives of Aro and Caius, but it was not her appearance that captivated my gaze. Perched atop her head, surrounding a cascade of thick black curls, sat a tiara with a large green stone set deep in the center—a tiara that I recognized as the one that now in the possession of my daughter.

Chapter 4 - Didyme
 

“Who’s this?” I asked, pointing to the dark haired vampire in the picture.

It was Carlisle who answered. “Didyme. She was the wife of Marcus.”

“Marcus had a wife!?” I asked, shocked. I’d known that both Aro and Caius had wives. I’d seen them. It only made logical sense that Marcus would have found a mate too, especially considering the length of his vampire existence. However, in the two times I’d been around him, he seemed so detached…so bored with everything, I found it hard to believe anyone or anything could capture his attention. “Well, what happened to her? Where is she now?” I was both confused and curious.

“Ah yes, Marcus had a wife,” Carlisle answered, his voice seemed saddened. He walked forward, followed by Edward to stand beside me looking at the goddess like vampire in the picture. “She was quite extraordinary. Didyme was adored instantly by anyone who met her, human and vampire alike. Her story is a very tragic one indeed.” I noted again the trace of saddness in his voice.

"You knew her well?" I asked.

“Yes. She was with Marcus during my time with the Volturi. She was not only Marcus’s wife, she was also Aro’s sister.”

“His sister?” I asked astounded, caught off guard again.

“Yes. As I explained, after Aro was changed, he began to seek out those whom he felt showed the most potential in hopes that in immortality, they too would also have extraordinary talents. You are, of course, aware of how powerful a gift Aro possesses. It did not take him long to grasp the magnitude of it either. It by far overshadowed that of Marcus, and even the tracking abilities of James and Demetri.” I suppressed a shiver at the mention of the sadistic vampire who had once tracked and very nearly killed me. "Being that he himself had such a strong ability, he wondered if it was genetic. He sought out his sister to test his theory."

“And did she have any talents?”

“She did, although it was to Aro’s disappointment that it was not a gift that would prove…useful…to him,” Carlisle paused, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Didyme emitted an aura from her that made others euphoric, merely by being in her presence. Her happiness was infectious, influencing anyone who met her. It was during that time that I came to live with the Volturi. During that time, the entire atmosphere within Volterra was rather pleasant.

“None, however, were more influenced by Didyme than Marcus. He loved her from the moment he met her, and she him. The bonds of their love was the only I have ever seen that could rival that that the two of you share.” He stopped and smiled at Edward and myself. I could not imagine any two people, human or vampire, who could possibly love each other more than Edward and myself. “Marcus and Didyme lived happily for many years…they even considered leaving for a while, living on their own, away from Aro, Caius and the others. The entire world was under the impression that Marcus was dead, and he shared no interest in Aro’s obsession with adding members to the Volturi.”

Carlisle paused and his expression became mournful. “But…” I encouraged.

“But, they never got the chance to leave.” Carlisle expressed a heavy sigh. “A few weeks before they’d planned to say their good-byes and go their separate ways from the Volturi, Didyme was killed.”

“Killed?” I squeaked, my bell like voice an octave higher than usual. I couldn’t imagine who would have the strength to kill a vampire…. ”Oh no!” I practically gasped with the realization. “By another member of the Volturi?”

“Yes. And off course, with Aro’s ability to read every thought that has ever entered the mind of any individual—well, almost any individual—“ Carlisle paused a brief moment, inclining his head slightly towards me. “—it did not take him long to locate the culprit. A newborn, one of those he’d created. As you can imagine, Aro was guilt stricken, and Marcus, enraged, killed the newborn—Chloe, I believe was her name.”

(cont) Chapter 4 - Didyme
 

“The loss of Didyme was a great loss to everyone and the atmosphere within Volterra changed drastically. But as tough as it was for all who'd known her, it nearly destroyed Marcus. He begged for years for his brothers to end his life. It was then that he slowly became that Marcus that you know today…unfeeling, detached, almost as if he lives inside an empty shell…never able to cope with the pain of losing Didyme. The whole of the Volturi mourned her loss for many years. It was during that time that I decided to leave. Consequentially, it was also those events that made me realize how alone this existence can be without others to call a family.” He reached forward and clapped Edward on the back.




“How horrible.” was all I managed to say.




Carlisle glanced down at his watch. “My apologies, but I am due at the hospital very shortly. I really must be going.”




“Of course, Carlisle,” Edward acknowledged. As we followed him to the door, I glanced back over my shoulder at the picture on the wall. He grabbed his black medical bag from a chair on his way and strode through the doorway. I paused outside his office, overlooking the stairs as he descended and made his way towards the garage. I heard the engine of his shiny, black Mercedes as he started it, pulled out, and made his way down the gravel drive that led to the highway.



After a moment, Edward reached down to take my hand, pulling me from my thoughts. “Rosalie and Renesmee are still not quite finished yet, should we wait on them here?”


I merely nodded in response. My mind was replaying the conversation that had just taken place. I hardly noticed that he was pulling me towards his piano. I robotically took a seat beside him on the bench and let my thoughts wander as his hands began flying across the keys, filling the room full of a classical melody.



I thought about how empty Marcus must have felt after Didyme’s death. I tried to imagine my life with no Edward. I couldn’t imagine living in a world where he didn’t exist. I tired to picture a Jasper with no Alice, a Rosalie with no Emmett, an Esme with no Carlisle. Suddenly, I felt a strange emotion for Marcus that seemed almost foreign when applied to a member of the Volturi—pity?




Then my thoughts shifted infindecimally. I tried to imagine how it would feel to lose a sibling. Although I had been an only child, I’d grown every bit as close to Alice…to Emmett, even to Rosalie, to Jacob, as I would have thought possible for any children born of the same mother and father and raised together. I knew what a loss of any single family member would mean to the rest of us.




My mind wandered to Aro and what Carlisle had said about him feeling guilt over what happened to Didyme. Then I thought about Aro’s motivations for transforming his sister—because he wanted to test his theory. He wanted any talent she may possess in her immortal life. Did he ever even consider what might be best for her, or was all that washed away by his desire for power? It seemed selfish…cruel.




I hadn’t noticed that Edward had stopped playing, but the sound of his voice beside me pulled me from my trance. “Will you please tell me what you are thinking before I go mad?”




“I was thinking…” I paused, trying to figure out how to best put my words into thoughts. I turned to face him and saw a puzzled expression on his face. He leaned his head slightly to the side, staring at me intensely, his brow slightly furrowed. “I was thinking about Aro…and Didyme. I just don’t understand…how could he do that to his own sister? How he could make that decision for her and change her all to get what he wanted...” No matter how I looked at it, Aro’s selfishness, his obsession with the talents of vampires was to blame for what had happened—for his sister’s death, and for the torment Marcus, his brother in many ways, had endured as a result.

(cont) Chapter 4 - Didyme
 

I looked at Edward, expecting some sort of insight on what his motivations could have been. Instead, he remained silent. His face was twisted into an agonized expression. He dropped his head and looked at his hands. Now I was the one who felt like I would go mad, wondering what he was thinking. Finally, after a long moment, he softly spoke. “Is it really so unforgivable a thing to do to someone you love dearly? To want to have them with you forever?” He raised his head, his eyes full of pain.




Immediately, I understood the comparison he had made. “Edward, that’s not what I meant. It’s not the same.”




“Isn’t it?” he challenged, but there was no anger in his voice, only pain...and guilt.




“From the day I met you Bella, I have wanted nothing but you. I wanted you to share this life beside me, for me to be able to keep you forever, and in the end, I did. I have never wanted anything so badly. How does that make me any different than Aro?”



“Edward, you may have wanted those things for yourself, but you never wanted them for me. I chose this existence for myself and you fought me over it until the end. You never forced it on me the way Aro did with his sister. I chose this life and I do not regret it.”



“Bella, there will never be a day that passes that I don’t wonder if I did the right thing by ending your life. Never a day that I don't wonder if you would have been better off if I’d found the strength to force myself to stay away from you.”




“Better than off than what?" I challenged. "Weekly trips to the emergency room? Feeling like I have finally found my place in this world? Better of than being completely and utterly happy? Is it really so horrible a thing for me to want to stay with you forever?” I looked at him, searching the depths of his eyes for a sign of understanding.




After another long minute, I saw the hardness fade and a smirk slowly spread across his mouth. He pulled my hand up to kiss my palm, inhaling deeply as he did. “No, I’d say that makes you just as selfish as me,” he replied teasingly.




“Well, when two individuals are as hopelessly selfish as we are they deserve to have to endure each other forever.” I leaned forward and kissed him quickly, then pulled back just a few inches. “Now, can we please end this debate… for good?”




He grabbed my face on either side and pulled me to him again, kissing me back in the same fashion, then pulled me back out, sill grasping my face, all traces of remorse having faded from his eyes. “Yes!”




“Good!” I said, relieved, hoping he truly meant it. “Now, let’s go down and see if Rose and Renesmee are finished.”




A few seconds later and I was downstairs, peeking in to the living room, not wanting to interrupt. Rosalie and Renesmee sat side by side on the floor looking at an extravagant rendering of the solar system. Renesmee listened intently as Rosalie told her about the rings of Saturn. Never missing a word of her lesson, Rosalie looked up at us and nodded her head once in acknowledgment that we were waiting.

(cont) Chapter 4 - Didyme
 

“Let’s wait on the porch, Love.” Edward took my hand and pulled me through the front door out into the gray, early afternoon, where we sat side by side on the top stair. In the distance, I heard Jacob and Emmett wrestling around by the river. “They’ll be finished in a minute, Rosalie is just stalling now.” I noticed the smile in the tone of his voice.

“So are you going to let me in on the joke? Why is she stalling?”

“Just to irritate Jacob. She knows that he’s eagerly awaiting the end of their lessons too, but he knows better than to interrupt them.”

“I really wish the two of them would knock it off already.” I lowered my head to my hands in frustration.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. They don’t hate each other nearly as much as they let on. They are both equally stubborn, and jealous.”

“Yeah, well, I hope you’re right about that.” I frowned. I wasn’t altogether convinced.

“Trust me, Bella,” he said, reaching forward to rub my arm reassuringly. "Rosalie is more guarded with her thoughts, but Jacob isn’t. Truthfully, they both realize that they share one major thing in common. They both want what’s best for Renesmee and they respect that in one another.”

Just then, Renesmee bound out the door, jumping form the top stair and arching gracefully through the air. At the last moment before touching the ground, she spun around to land so that she was facing us. “Mommy…Aunt Rose taught me about the planets today! I learned that we live on the planet Earth.” She smiled triumphantly and looked back to Rosalie for approval.

Rosalie smiled at her and then turned to us, beaming at her own accomplishments.

“Thank you Rosalie…I have to say, I really am impressed,” Edward said.

“She’s my best student,” she said, winking at Renesmee. She covered her mouth with her hand, stifling a giggle. “And I really do enjoy it. I would still be willing to continue with them next year instead of her having to go off to obedience school.” She sounded hopeful.

I rolled my eyes, looking to Edward for help. We were relieved of having to respond. In the distance, I heard Jacob and Emmett approaching, their wrestling match having obviously ended. As they jogged into sight around the corner of the house, Renesmee launched herself at Jacob, who caught her midair. “Jacob!” she squealed, “Aunt Rose taught me about the planets, and the sun, and the stars….”

"Really? That’s pretty neat kiddo, can you tell me all their names later?” Jacob kissed her cheek before setting her back down. I felt Edward stiffen slightly beside me, then relax almost immediately.

“So, Blondie…” Jacob said turning to Rosalie, his voice full of mischief. “Did you teach her about Uranus too?” He burst into laughter at his own joke, joined immediately by Emmett.

Rosalie didn’t respond. She narrowed her eyes, a low hiss escaping her lips before she turned and disappeared into the house.

“Oh Babe, we were just kidding….” Emmett trailed off after her, shouting his apologies while following in her wake.

Jacob turned to us, still laughing at his own joke, “Get it you two? Uranus?”

“Oh grow up, Jake!” I spat at him. This only caused him to double over in laughter. I silently fumed, balling my fists.

“What’s so funny?” Alice had appeared from the clearing, her arms full of freshly picked flowers in shades of purples, blues and yellows.

“Nothing is funny, nothing at all!” I eyed Jake, who finally managed to control himself and straighten up.

Alice shrugged, obviously deciding that it wasn’t worth pursuing. “Bella,” she began, her eyes alight with excitement, “I was in the field picking flowers, and suddenly I had the most fantastic vision!”

I swallowed hard, suddenly nervous. “This doesn’t have anything to do with me and shopping, or dresses, or anything of that nature, does it?”

“No, silly! But I do like that shade of purple on you. Much better than the green you almost chose.” It was no use with Alice. Of course she’d seen what I would be wearing, even before I knew myself. “I saw us all taking a fabulous trip!” Alice, no doubt had been hoping we’d agree to going to Volterra and had clearly seen it as soon as we’d given Carlisle our answers.

“A trip?” Jacob asked, momentarily pulling his attention from Renesme. “Cool! Where are we going?”

Uh-oh. Edward and I looked at each other, both of us raising our eyebrows cautiously. This I had not yet planned for—we were going to have to tell Jacob. And somehow, I had a sinking feeling he wasn’t going to be happy about it.

Chapter 5 - The Race
 

“Over my dead body!”


I sighed. Just as I’d suspected, Jacob had not taken the news of our upcoming trip to Italy well. He stood before us, arms folded tightly across his chest, his jaw tight and his posture set. I could see the quickened flow of blood pulsing in the vein on his neck—a result of his reaction to my news. To put it lightly, he was furious.


“Jake, it’s really not that big of a deal…” I began trying to explain, to lessen the concern for Renesmee that I knew was flooding him now, obscuring his rationality. He cut me off sharply before I could finish my first sentence.


“The hell it’s not, Bella! Are you absolutely out of your mind? Or have you forgotten that this same group of leeches came here not to long ago to kill us….to kill her!” he jerked his head in Renesmee’s direction, his voice growing gradually louder. Renesmee was playing several yards away, focusing her attention on trying to catch a bright orange butterfly that flittered in unpredictable patterns just out of her reach over her head. I felt my anger slowing building up.


“Jacob,” Edward began calmly, “surely you realize that Renesmee’s safety is our concern, first and foremost before anything else. The situation with the Volturi is not the same as it was before, as Carlisle will happily explain to him if you so desire. Surely, after all this time, you trust Carlisle’s word?” I had to admit, I truly admired Edward’s patience. Vampires are ruled by their emotions and I had not yet managed to control mine in the same manner. He’d had decades to master his control. I envied this.


Jacob hesitated. Clearly, he didn’t want to disagree with Edward on this point, whether out of politeness or because he truly did trust Carlisle, I was unsure. Jacob’s track record did not always paint him as the picture of politeness, so I wagered to guess it was the latter.


“I am fairly certain that we will all return in the same condition that we leave in. I don’t forsee any obstacles…” Alice interjected, trying offer peace of mind. She trailed off, her eyes slightly unfocused, trying to recheck her vision of our trip.


“No, no, no….” Jacob glared at Alice, shaking his finger in her direction, fighting to put his thoughts into words. “You can’t see any future with Renesmee in it! She can’t see that!” He looked back to Edward and I, as if trying to convince us of his revelation.


“Well, of course, I can’t!” Alice replied, rolling her eyes. “But I can look around her and discern enough to know that no one there will pose a thread to us.”


In time, Jacob had come to accept Alice’s abilities and could not deny their accuracy, much as he’d come to trust and respect Carlisle in recent months. Jacob’s reasons for argument were fading. He grunted in disapproval, and seemed to have run out of excuses. “Well, I still don’t like it!”


“Well, you know what, Jake? You don’t have to like it!” I was suddenly on my feet, but remained on the stair, not advancing towards him. “Let’s just get one thing clear. The last time I checked, she was our daughter. I don’t have to ask permission to take her anywhere if I feel so inclined to do so…from you or anyone else!”



“Bella…” Edward spoke softly, slowing rising beside me and placing a gentle, but firm hand on my shoulder. I recognized it as a warning to me to keep my composure, but I was in full control of myself. I did, however, want to make my point very clear.

(cont) Chapter 5 - The Race
 

Jacob seemed taken aback slightly by the sudden fierceness of my words. He stared at me, opening his mouth to speak, but deciding against it and closing it again. He repeated this action three times before his shoulders finally relaxed in defeat. “I know.” He sighed. “But I still don’t like it and I don’t trust them…not in my nature.” He thumped his own chest proudly with his fist.


“You don’t have to trust them. I would, however, appreciate it if you would trust me.”


He sighed, “Sure, sure.” I could tell that he was still not accepting of the idea, but he seemed resigned to not push the issue any further…at least not right now. I suspected that the subject would come up again though.


I was focusing so much on Jacob’s reaction that I was oblivious to the mostly silent conversation going on behind me. As I turned, I noticed Alice slightly inclining her head in the direction of Jacob and Renesmee. Edward merely nodded, and followed the gesture with a simple, low, “Thanks.”


Alice smiled, nodded and then breezed off into the living room.

I was intent on asking Edward for an explanation when something that Jacob said pulled my attention back to him, erasing all thoughts of the exchange between the Cullen siblings. “Charlie, by the way, says that if you don’t call him, he’s going to drive up here and arrest you.”


“Charlie?” Jacob had my full attention. “You’ve spoken with Charlie?”



“Of course, I have!” Jacob chuckled. “Saw him just this morning before I headed up here. Came down to the house early today for an early day of fishing with Dad. Spends a lot of his time down on the res lately."



“I haven’t had the chance to call him since we’ve been back.” I suddenly felt like I was neglecting my role as a daughter.


“I told him that — that you guys had been really busy since you got back and all.”


“We could go and see him today, if you’d like,” Edward offered. He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.


“Could we? That would be great!” I had not had much time to spend with him in the past few months. Various obstacles always seemed to get in the way…getting married, giving a daughter, attending college, having a murderous coven of Italian vampires showing up at your door…



“He’ll be down on the res most of the day,” Jacob offered. “Mariners game and all this afternoon. It’s become kind of a tradition.”


“Oh…some other time then.” My voice thick with disappointment at this news. Charlie being on Quiluete lands presented a problem. The Cullens were not exactly welcome in La Push. And I was a Cullen now, in ways that extended past just sharing their last name. Only on one occasion had Carlisle and Edward been allowed onto the reservation, and that was when it had been the only option of ensuring Jacob’s health.




“What’s the matter, Bella?” Jacob asked, a look of confusion on his face. “The whole gang’s been dying to see you again. Don’t you want to come visit?” As he asked, a noticed a trace of sadness touch his rough, deep voice.


“Of course I do! But…” I trailed off, exchanging a confused look with Edward. Somehow ‘but I don’t want to be ripped to pieces by a pack of angry werewolves’ was not the best way to approach the subject. I wasn’t sure exactly which boundaries of the treaty once made between the pack and the Cullens were still being enforced.


“I think what Bella means….” Edward began, “…are we welcomed in La Push, Jacob?”


“Of course, you are.” Jacob shrugged as he said this, as if it were common knowledge.


“We were not aware of this new development,” Edward said, still uncertain, “When did this change come about?”


“I dunno….sometime while you were gone I guess. Me, Sam and Doc met, worked it all out. The res is still off limits for others like you and for hunting and stuff though. Emmett and Blondie have been down several times.”

(cont) Chapter 5 - The Race
 

“Emmett and Rosalie have been to the reservation!?” I felt my jaw drop. I couldn’t fathom Rosalie lowering her own standards and subjecting herself to being caught dead in La Push…figuratively speaking.



“Sure. They’ve been there with Renesmee, dropping her off, picking her up, that sort of thing.”


“Renesmee has been to La Push too?”


Jacob laughed, obviously amused by my shock. “Yep…quite a bit.”


“And has she been…accepted there?”


Jacob grinned widely. “You’ll just have to see for yourself.”


I was thrilled. So many memories I had of La Push, yet they all seemed so out of focus compared to so many of my other memories. It was as if I pictured them all through frosted glass, aware that something was there, but not able to fully make out all the details or fully appreciate them.


“So,” Jacob teased, “does this mean you’re accepting my invitation?”


I looked at Edward eagerly. He looked back at me, seemly to consider his answer for a minute. It was torture. Finally, a smile of his own spread across his face and he pulled me closer to kiss my head, “Yes, we can go to La Push, if that’s what you really want.”


“Oh, Edward!” I slung my arms around him. “Yes, I do, I do, I do. Can we leave right now?” Suddenly, I pictured myself resembling a very eager Alice again.


“Give me just a minute to tell Esme where we’re going.” He raced into the house.


Jacob called Renesmee over and I watched her excited reaction as he shared with her the news that we would be visiting the reservation.


The garage door opened and Edward stepped back out into the driveway to meet us. “Are you three ready?”


“Tell you what, Edward,” Jacob responded, exchanging a sly wink with Renesmee. “We’ll race you two there.” Renesmee covered her mouth to stifle an excited giggle and peered up at Edward, awaiting his reaction.


“Excellent.” A mischievous smile spread across Edward’s face. “We’ll take the Ferrari.”


“Do you want a head start?” Jacob asked, rolling his eyes dramatically. “I’ll be right back.” With that he turned and darted into the woods.


I seized his absence as an opportunity to turn to Edward and complain, “Ugh, the Ferrari?” I groaned. “Can’t we just take your car?”


“Nonsense, Bella,” Edward teased back. “It’s about time I taught you how to drive it…properly that is.” I rolled my eyes as Jacob just had.


At that moment, the brush at the edge of the driveway stirred and a giant wolf emerged from the spot where Jacob had disappeared minutes earlier. The wolf-Jacob walked over to stand beside Renesmee who easily scrambled onto his back. She took a spot between his shoulders and secured herself with two fistfuls of russet colored fur. She looked at us expectantly. The excitement on her face was more than enough to melt any reservations I had about this trip. I returned to my previous elated state and was suddenly eager to get to La Push as fast as possible myself.


I glanced at Edward, quickly and then back to Renesmee and Jacob, who stood waiting. Edward reached over to take my hand. He slowly took a step backwards towards the garage, pulling me with him. “One…” he called out. I saw Renesmee’s smile grow and saw her tighten her grip on Jacob’s fur. Another step backwards and “…two…” Jacob crouch to the ground, prepared to run. Another slow step backwards towards the garage. “THREE!” We spun in unison and raced towards the shiny red car parked in the garage.


I did not see Jacob move, but heard him crashing through the woods, putting distance between us. Within seconds, Edward had started the car and was racing down the twisting driveway that led to the paved road. I had to amit, Edward was a really good driver. A minute later, we hit the pavement, never slowing down.

(cont) Chapter 5 - The Race
 

“You know, if they beat us, we’ll never hear the end of it,” I teased him. He replied by pressing harder on the accelerator.


“I know,” he responded casually as the speedometer reached one hundred. “That’s why I am driving there…you are driving back.” I groaned in protest. “You didn’t think you were going to get off that easy did you? Now, if I can only manage to convince Jacob to let me buy him a new car…”


“So it seems like Emmett’s competitive nature is rubbing off on Jacob,” I observed. “I have to admit, I wasn’t prepared found friendship the two of them have developed.


He pondered this for a minute, passing two cars and changing roads in the process. “It’s really not all that surprising if you think about it. They both take pride in their strength and size. They both have similar outlooks on life and the same, carefree, blunt sense of humor. And they both seem to really enjoy giving you and Rosalie a hard time.”


“I suppose you’re right,” I agreed. “Except for the whole mortal enemies thing.”


He laughed lightly, “Except for that.” I suppose he was right. The more I thought about it, the more I was surprised I hadn’t noticed before. It was very typical for Edward to pick up on subtle details like that. Of course, with his ability to read the unspoken thoughts of others, it was probably much easier to compare similarities and differences.


That brought something else to mind. I turned my attention from the window where the town of Forks was racing past us in a blur and looked at him. “What were you and Alice discussing earlier in the driveway?”


“Ah…I forget how observant you are. She said that she would try to see if she could pick anything up but that it would make it easier if I could get Renesmee and Jacob away from the house. She asked if you were truly comfortable with going to Italy, or if you were just trying to appease everyone else.”


“Oh. Well, I guess it worked out well then that we all ended up leaving for the day.”


He was silent for a moment. “And are you, Bella?”


“Not entirely,” I said, inhaling deeply. The smell of the salty ocean met my nose as we crossed the Quiluete border. “But I am willing to go anyway.”



“I don’t want you to feel like this is something that is being forced on you. Your decision needs to be based on what you want, not something you feel obligated to do on anyone else’s behalf.” He looked at me intently. “Promise me that you’ll be honest with me and tell me.”


“I promise.”



“And are you fully comfortable with going to La Push and spending the day with a bunch of werewolves?” I challenged back.


“Not entirely,” he responded, “but I am willing to go anyway…if it will make you happy.”


At that moment, the familiar house of Jacob Black came into view. The fog was suddenly lifted from the way I’d viewed the place for the past few months. I felt like a part of “me” had been returned. Edward brought the car to a stop in front of the house and cut off the ignition. As we looked at the front of the house, two figures stepped through the door and out onto the porch. As they did, I heard Edward mutter in disbelief, “I don’t believe it.”

Chapter 6 - Automobiles and Thunderbirds
 

"How on Earth did they get here so fast?" I walked around the car to join Edward. Renesmee and Jacob walked across the lawn to meet us wearing huge, identical triumphant smiles.

Edward stood in Jacob’s yard in defeat. He was the fastest person I’d ever met, easily quicker on foot than any of the rest of the family or the pack. He was not accustomed to losing a race. As he shook his head in disbelief, Jacob merely shrugged. "I offered you a head start."

He motioned for us to follow him. I could hear a montage of voices echoing from inside the small, red barn like house. It sounded like the entire population of La Push was here. A very strong, odor hung in the air. I reflexively wrinkled my nose. A thin line of smoke snaked its way up over the house from the back yard, visible against the overcast, gray sky. I recognized it as the smell of food being cooked on a grill. It smelled very unappealing.

At one time this place was like a second home to me, but suddenly, as we walked up the stairs, I felt very self conscious and out of place. I slowed my pace, pausing at the door before entering. Renesmee, eager for me to join the party inside, trotted back and grabbed my hand, pulling on me with all her might and urging me forward. "C’mon!" I swallowed hard and stepped forward into the small living room of the Black household.

The babble of voices from inside suddenly stopped as all eyes turned to focus on the two vampires that had just entered a house full of wolves. The silence only lasted a few seconds before it was broken by a familiar voice. "Hey look….it’s my favorite vampire!" Seth eagerly hurried forward scooping me up in a hug that would have surely broken a human in half. Over his shoulder, I briefly caught sight of Leah’s scowling face just before she turned and stormed out of the room. Nevertheless, the excited voices resumed as everyone else hurried forward to greet us. My anxiety vanished immediately. The whole pack seemed to be here in addition to several other familiar faces.

"Hi Bella!" Sue Clearwater called from the kitchen, waving a spoon that seemed to be covered with potato salad. Beside her stood Emily, her face as friendly and welcoming as ever as she waved too.



Renesmee and a girl I recognized as Emily’s niece, Claire, giggled from the corner. Although I knew otherwise, Claire seemed to be smaller and younger than Renesmee by a few years but they didn’t seem to mind.

I turned around to face Edward, beaming. He however, was already deeply involved in a conversation with Quil and Embry about the Ferrari. "Bella, I’m going to walk out with them to look at the car…?" Anyone other than myself would have interpreted it as a statement of fact, however I recognized it as more. I nodded my head. I had worried about our acceptance here unnecessarily, it appeared.

I felt someone nudge my side. "Charlie’s out back with Billy," Jacob said to me quietly.

"Charlie?" My hand instinctively shot to my throat. It had been months since I’d seen my father.

"C’mon…let’s go see him," Jacob whispered. He placed his hand lightly under my elbow and began to gently lead me towards the back door, away from the turmoil inside the overly crowded house. Jacob guided me out into the back yard. There were several long tables set up under a large, ancient looking tree, each covered with a plastic red and white plaid table cloth and laden with enough food to feed a small army…or a dozen hungry werewolves.

Between the tables sat the large silver grill that omitted the foul smell. Standing over the grill was Sam, whose size could only be matched by that of Jacob. Billy sat to his left. Standing in front of both of them, with his back to me, was Charlie. Neither Billy or Sam had acknowledged my presence, although I knew they’d seen me approaching with Jacob. Jacob leaned forward and whispered in my ear, so low that the three men before us had no chance of hearing it. "We didn’t tell him you were coming. Figured we’d let you surprise him."

"OK, who invited the cop to the party?" I called, teasingly.

(cont) Chapter 6 - Automobiles and Thunderbirds
 

"Bella?" Charlie turned to face me, surprise painting his face. "Bella! It is you, kid!" He rushed forward to meet me, extending his arms for a hug. I inhaled deeply and held my breath. I could feel Jacob move forward with me, staying very close to me in case I needed him. He was so close that I could feel heat radiating off him in waves.

As he hugged me, I felt a shiver run though his body. I wondered if it was in response to the ice cold temperature of my skin, evident even through my long sleeved shirt, or if it was because of something else… He pulled me back at arms length to examine me, taking me in from head to toe. "So," he began, "how was your first term in school?"

"It was great…top marks and everything. But it’s good to be home again." And I didn’t even kill any of the other students, I added silently in my head.

"Well, it’s good to have you home, kiddo! You hungry? Sam’s just about to take the burgers off the grill, and as you can see, there’s plenty of food. Sue and Emily have really outdone themselves."

I definitely was not hungry. "No, I’m fine," I lied coolly.

"Where’s Edward? Did he come with you?" Charlie glanced around the yard, searching, before turning back to me.

I was out of air. I was going to have to take a breath or continue the conversation though a series of nods and gestures. I leaned back the tiniest bit, moving my eyes around the yard under pretense that I was trying to determine his whereabouts too. Cautiously, I inhaled deeply. At once, burning fire began clawing at the back of my throat. I’d forgotten how very appealing Charlie smelled. Venom pooled in my mouth and I fought to swallow it down. I stiffened a bit, forcing myself to control my natural urges. I felt Jacob’s hand close tightly around my wrist and sensed him shift slightly as I stood there.

I turned my attention back to Charlie, "He’s here somewhere. Out front with Quil and Embry, I believe…." I felt Jacob loosen his hold.

"Ah…of course, talking cars no doubt." Charlie acknowledged. I couldn’t help but notice a subtle nervous edge in the tone of his voice as he glanced down quickly to where Jacob’s hand had been locked around my wrist a fraction of a second earlier.

"Food’s ready!" Billy announced. Charlie turned immediately to help Sam carry the burger and rib laden plates to the tables. I shot a thankful glance in Billy’s direction. He winked knowingly in response, "Hey Bella. Good to see you again."

"Thank you," I softly whispered to Jacob, so low only his ears would hear.

"Uh-huh." He turned and walked to the table furthest from Charlie. I followed him automatically, taking a seat beside him on one of the benches. "Seemed to get a little tense there for a minute?" He raised one of his eyebrows questioningly.

"Yes," I agreed. "For a minute."

"Are you still, you know…in pain being around people?" He looked away, not meeting my eyes as he finished his statement.

"Sometimes," I admitted, inhaling deeply. "But it’s easier to control now. Especially around you…you really do stink, Jake." He chuckled a bit in response to my teasing, but I sensed there was little humor behind the notion. He quickly became serious again.

"And…will it always be that way for you? Will it ever go away completely?"

I hesitated, suddenly realizing that I didn’t want to hear the answer spoken any more than he did. I gazed solemnly across the yard, focusing on nothing. "No, not completely. The burn will always be there. Sometimes more than others. Just depending…" I trailed off, questioning if I was unsure how to properly explain it, or if I just didn’t want to face the facts of the matter myself. "It’s a bit difficult to understand, I suppose." Guilt washed over me as I realized that it took an enormous amount of control for me not to kill even my own father. I shuddered at the thought.

"I might understand that kind of thing better than you think." He elbowed me lightly, and then gestured to himself. "You forget. I had to adjust to a different lifestyle too."

Suddenly, the realization of his words hit me. He was right—Jacob hadn’t always been a wolf. More than that, I realized that Jacob was someone I could confide in—someone who I could talk to and who would understand.

"You’re not alone, you know Bella," he continued. He looked at me as I spoke and I read the sincerity behind his coal black eyes. "I had instincts of my own to fight—uncontrollable anger and having to learn to control when I phased. I remember how it feels to stand in front of someone you love dearly and having to fight the urge to kill even them. I remember wanting to kill my own father. I remember wanting to kill you, Bells."

There was something very familiar about his words…it was like they’d been spoken to me before, but I couldn’t quite place them. One thing that was very clear, however, was that Jacob and I were connected in ways I’d never realized. I’d always been so quick to consider our differences, not as Jacob and Bella, but as werewolf and vampire, that I’d never given much thought to all the things that made us the same.

"And I know that through all that, I would have been lost without Sam there…without someone who understood…someone I could confide in who wouldn’t judge me." I understood the meaning behind Jacob’s words. He was offering to be that for me. I examined the irony of the situation. Jacob had wanted more than anyone else to change my mind about my decision to enter into this immortal existence. His desire was second only Edward’s, who had also wanted it desperately at the same time—that desire second only to my own. Yet despite of it all, Jacob was offering to help me through this tough adjustment, just as Sam had done for him and just as Carlisle had done for Edward.

(cont) Chapter 6 - Automobiles and Thunderbirds
 

"Jake, I…" I was truly at a loss for words.

"I take it you don’t talk about how hard it is? With him at least." He knew me like an open book.

I merely shook my head, acknowledging that he was right. "I’m afraid to," I answered truthfully. "Afraid that he’ll blame himself…he’s always been so quick to take all the guilt for things out of his control. I feel like I was to blame for that for so long…I don’t want to do that to him again."

"Mmm…I kind of figured it was something like that." He reached down and picked up a stick and began slowly and methodically picking the bark off its surface as he spoke. "Bella, if I asked you something, would you answer me truthfully?"

"Of course, Jake, anything!" How could I deny him the truth? After all the sacrifices he’d made on my behalf.

"Are you happy, Bella? Really happy?"

"Yes. Very much," I answered automatically, not because it was what he wanted to hear, but because it was the truth. "I’ve never been happier, Jake. Are you happy?"

"Never been better." The smile on his face told me his feelings were as genuine as mine. Then his face took on a very thoughtful expression as he spoke again. "Now mind you, I may not have been around as long as some of your family, but I think I’ve had time to figure a few things out." He looked up to my face, his eyes squinting slightly in his concentration. "I think the things in life that you want the most, things that you truly enjoy, are always the hardest. I think if you didn’t have to struggle to get to where you want to be, you’ll never fully appreciate what you have." He paused, gesturing between himself and me. "I think that’s why this kind of thing is so hard get a handle on, and I don’t mean just the vampire and werewolf thing. But once you finally win the fight to get there, you realize you’re right where you were always meant to be."

"Jake, I couldn’t agree with you more." I smiled warmly and reached forward to take his hand. His posture relaxed, indicating that he realized I understood exactly what he’d meant. "I didn’t realize how wise becoming a wolf had made you."

"Yeah, well, I guess you can’t have beauty and brains," he teased back, all the tension of the conversation fading away.

"Jake, you are without a doubt, one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known." I leaned forward to hug him and he returned the gesture, his skin scorching against mine. "Thank you," I whispered in his ear.

"Now," he said, as we released each other, speaking a bit more loudly. "Let’s go see if we can find that niece of yours." I recognized his words for what they were—a reminder, for me. As far as Charlie was aware, Renesmee was not my daughter, but Edward’s niece. Another role I played. I sighed to myself, finding it humorous that at one time I thought all these false pretenses would end once I became a vampire. Little did I know, they hadn’t even begun. Still, I hadn’t bargained on even being around Charlie after my transformation. This made that a possibility, so I’d gladly take the trade. I had a feeling that Charlie suspected that the story was fabricated, but thanks to Jacob’s efforts, he never questioned it.

"I think she’s out in the shed!" Charlie called. He’d heard what Jacob had said, as was obviously the intent.

Jacob and I walked towards the small, makeshift garage. We had timed our search perfectly, due to careful timing on Jacob’s behalf, I’m sure. Everyone else had come outside and commenced to devouring the food that had been prepared. I could avoid any further questions regarding my eating habits, or more appropriately my lack thereof.

Charlie had been right—Renesmee was in the shed, as was Edward. Edward stood in front of Jacob’s dismantled Voltzwagon Rabbit, his hands in his pockets, slowly shaking his head from side to side. "Jacob…" he began.

"No! Don’t say it!" Jake began, "I know what you’re going to say, don’t say it!"

"Jacob…" Edward said, his voice almost pleading. "Face facts. She’s dead. Think about how nice a new, shiny Mustang GT would look parked here…or a Corvette even…"

I sighed, and felt sorry for Jacob. Edward was relentless when he made up his mind about buying something, particularly cars. Jacob would not likely win this battle without a long, hard fight. I ignored them, looking around the garage. There was something vaguely familiar about it. I sensed that I knew the place well, yet I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.

I approached an old white refrigerator, rust creeping over the paint in several spots. And long extension cord, mended in several spots ran from it’s base up to the house. A low, mechanical humming told me that it was running, though I couldn’t see how. I opened it and saw several cans of soda. I reached out and took picked one up. Even with my ice cold skin, I could tell the drink was not as cold as it should be.

Jacob’s voice pulled me back to the present. "Fine, fine. Have it your way!" I turned back and saw a triumphant smile on Edward’s face. I didn’t have to ask what the cause was—I was pretty sure I had a good idea. Poor Jacob.

"So, who’s ready to head out to the beach for a bonfire and some stories?" Jacob said, quickly changing the subject.