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For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head." |
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother." |
I got nothing interesting to contribute except for the monotonous I win!! :eek: |
Look at you go B you have me laughing |
I'll take a win on hump day! |
Betty and her friend met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. Betty bet her friend $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the friend replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the Betty gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The friend said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." but Betty said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the friend said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." Betty replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!" |
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Too late to worry about that...she fell out the plane (see above page 1345) ;) |
i did see that she fell out |
I heard that she jumped :wavey: |
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Don't believe everything that you hear ;) |
Jumped to get away not fell. Lol |
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