You would be a redneck if:

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You mow your lawn and find a car.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You own a home made fur coat.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've totalled every car you've ever owned.

You only know two words.

I win

A Redneck Limo...........

I can see the confusion here...there are more than TWO doors.....lol

Attachment 351839

I win

Still winning

You might be a Redneck if.........

You believe you have a set of matched luggage when you have two shopping bags from the same store !



You believe you got a set of matched luggage if
you have two shopping bags from the same store.
You believe you got a set of matched luggage if
you have two shopping bags from the same store. You believe you got a set of matched luggage if
you have two shopping bags from the same store.

You might be a Redneck if........

Your state's got a new law that says
when a couple get divorced,
they are still legally brother and sister.

You might be a Redneck if...........

You think "safe Sex"....is a padded headboard. !!!!

Winning!

Not !!

Hahahha... have you guys seen the tags edited for this thread? lol Funny!

I WIN!!

I win

Yep, those there Tags have been there for a looooooong time now.

Have you noticed you are not the "Last Person To Post".....so...if you are NOT the last person to post....this must mean something huh ??? :D

I win

I am winning for now!