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Age and Privilege When I was pretty youung, I was talking to an elderly woman and she gave me this gem: Oh, honey...getting old isn't really that bad. When you get to be my age, you can say anything you like and the most likely response will be "Don't pay any attention to her. She's senile"....she seemed to like it that she could get away with saying anything at all. On this same subject I would like to share the following: GRANDMOTHER ON THE WITNESS STAND Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, why yes. I do know you, Mr. Williams, I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie; you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot, when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes. I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair." |
OMG LMAO hahahahahaha that was hillarious!!!:D :D thanks for sharing!! |
Funny |
NICE! My lawyer husband even laughed! |
That was so cute! Here is another nice one about aging..I want to be her someday...When I Am An Old Woman.. I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired and gobble up Samples in shops and press alarm bells and run my stick along the Public railings..and make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain and pick the flowers in other People’s gardens..and learn to spit. I will be able to grow more fat and eat three pounds of sausages at a go. Or only bread and pickles for a week,.And hoard pens and pencils and Beermats, and things in boxes. Maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear ~Purple.~ |
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LOL.. OMG.. thats hilarious.. thanks for sharing!!! |
too funny! |
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OMG that was great!!! :D |
That was really funny. |
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