Kids and homework!!!!! grrrrrrrr!!!
 

I need to vent!!!! Does anyone else get so upset with homework time with their kids? My son is in the 5th grade and he comes home with sooooooo much homework every night. Half of the stuff he brings home has not been covered in class; therefore, I have to teach it to him. I AM NOT A TEACHER!!!! If I would of wanted to be a teacher I would of majored in this in college!!!!! I do not mind helping him with his homework each night but when it interfers with after school actitivies, dinner, family time, play time, etc.... it drives me crazy. My son and I both become so frustrated and we both end up arguing. Tonight I had to physically remove myself from the situation for about 10 minutes....go outside and take a big breath. I do not know how to handle this. Talking to his teachers would not do any good....all the parents that had kids in the 5th grade last year warned me how tough it would be.

Normally, I am so excited for my son to get home from school each day but I am starting to dread it because I know we are going to have to do 2 hours our home work.

Can anyone else relate?

In defense of teachers:

Has it actually not been taught or did he himself not learn the material (meaning he didn't ask questions when he didn't understand, he wasn't paying attention as many students do, etc. :) )

I can't see many teachers not giving homework that they never covered, but I am sure there a few that don't.

Hope it gets better! Maybe there are some after school homework help that your soon could attend? Often there are and he could ask questions and learn one-on-one with someone.. often a teacher. Plus that would give you a break. :)

hi. as a teacher in training you might consider talking to your principal. Students should be given time to do each subject in class... and then at the end of the day whatever they didn't get done should be brought home. There are guidlines that arne't wrtiten but generally talked about around how much each grade should have. if this is honestly getting in the way of LIFE and is clearly causing issues between you and your son (it was the same for me and my mom!!!) i would take it up with the principal. and i would go int here saying.. look.. no issues with homeworking... an hour or so seems reasonable, and clearly if he spent time talking inc alss in stead of doing his hw.. he should have some.. no question, but tell her as his parent this is creating tension in your family and your son has no time for family, friends and extracirricular, which are honeslty the most important parts of his life. The principal has no choice but to side iwht you IF The amount of homework is ridiculous. Good luck. :)

It's been hard for everyone. My daughter is now in the 3rd and the other the 6th. Both are in honors class so the hw runs about 4 hours a night. It's ben a rough road for the teachers because of the way that the changed the curriculum. My girls get frustrated as hell sometimes because they have so much homework. I think hw should be no more than an hour. It's nuts that they spend so much time in school learning and applying then have to come home and do more work then like you said at times I have to sit and read the book to learn how to do something or another because it wasn't covered in class.

I see that you are in charlotte, what school does he go to? PM me if you need to. I use to live in Charlotte, thats why I am asking.

Amen, sister. My daughter is in 5th grade and I am amazed at the amount of homework she has!! :eek: The worst part is that half the time I have no idea what the homework is about. My daughter brought home science homework and I think I learned about that in college! (I might be exaggerating a little, but seriously, this stuff is crazy!)

Sometimes I think schools forget that they are just kids. I can't imagine how you work in family time, after-school activities, church, dinner etc. What happened to just being a kid???? They are 10 years old!! I might understand it when they are older, but wow!!!!

I taught school (junior/senior high English before she was born) and I am amazed at how things have changed in the past 10 years. Major expectations on these kids. Maybe it is just her school (and your son's school), but she came home from school, ate a snack, started on homework and worked until dinner time. She ate and then studied a bit more, showered and is now getting ready for bed. Not much family time and I am totally bummed! :(

Glad you brought it up! A couple parents were talking about it last week and said it is just the way things are in a college prep school. :confused:

Thanks for letting me vent!

Yes. I can completely relate. Steven is in 6th this year. Last year, he was so stressed that he was having chest pains. Had to have 3 EKG's ran. Finally ended up that it was ulcers and ended up on meds for that.

This year.... I am homeschooling. School is done by noon and that's that. We have a family again. I'm also schooling Kaitlyn at home, she's in 3rd. Andrew is in 2nd and going to public school because he has a phenomenal teacher this year. He will be homeschooled starting next year.

If you need a shoulder or some help, holler at me. I have been in your shoes!

homework is terrible:( my kids are still young, in 1st and 3rd grades. I'm not looking forward to the future grades!
I finally pulled my kids out of karate because we just couldn't get everything done in a day on karate nights.
I'm told homework should take 30 minutes plus the reading time, BUT it often takes 2 hours. And trying to get them started ugh! I don't blame them though, who wants to go to school for 6 hours and come home and do 2 hours more. After homework, dinner, and baths, i feel like i haven't had any time to enjoy them before bedtime and they feel like they haven't had any time to just lounge around or have fun.

Kids need to have time to be kids! I agree. An hour... maybe an hour and a half at the max for homework.
But I also think that when kids are finished with their homework they should have some constructive fun..... like bike riding, tag with friends,shootin hoops, skateboarding, watching a GOOD tv show....... NOT sitting in front of a video game!!! .... and that is exactly what many kids do!!! I hate to say it, but I would rather see a kid working on homework and extra hour than wasting their time on video games. --- MY OPINION, so please don't throw rocks!! ;) ;)

We can thank our president for all this (sorry) but he did sign the no child left behind thing and that is why there is so much pressure in school now. My son is in 2nd grade and this year so far the home work has been cake (new teacher and very young) but last year he would bring home a homework packet of about 7 pages of homework + a reading page that he had to read and then fill out the answers(in 1st grade):eek: . They have to be able to read to leave kindergarden now to:eek: The thing that stresses me out is some of the sheets they send home are so dumb and they don't have instructions so if your child gets lost you don't know how to help them..Last year we did have homework that wasn't taught in class and when i asked the teacher she said because of the no child left behind they don't have the time to teach everything so but it has to be done they have tests on the stuff all the time. I have actually been there for one of his tests and it was very stressful for him they go so fast and even if they make a mistake and correct themselves they mark it wrong:eek: I know education is important but i feel like there is so much pressure now days that kids are going to get to frustrated and it will increase the drop out rate. I also have a 14 yr old Sister and her homework is ridiculous OMG i can't even believe the stuff she has to do... BTW we also have to read 30 min a night and you have to write down the book title and sign as well geeze!!

I agree! But i have to say i bought my son a Vetch Vsmile gaming system (for younger kids) Adn it actually is a learning aid it teaches them sounds,colors,sentencing,grammer and alot more so some video games are great for kids!:thumbup:

I agree. But there is the leap frog, that I would let my child play only because its learning. Thank goodness that I am finally our of school.

A Solution!
 

I have a solution. Let your child once they get older do online school. You don't have any homework:) only normal school work, which is actually less than what you would do in a classroom! :D

One of my coworkers is always saying how she has to spend so much time doing homework with her 5th grader. Last night she was up til 10 helping him write a report and at the end of every week he has 3-5 tests all on the same day! I don't remember the homework being that bad when I was a kid! lol.

I am so relieved that others can relate to my frustation. Not that I would wish this frustation on anyone!!!!
I cannot believe some of the things I read in the above post!!!!!! Fannie, your poor son having chest pains.....that is horrible!!!! Sounds like home schooling is working well for you.

Kids are in school all day they need some down time when they get home!!!!

In defense of my son, he is a great student. He is in honor classes and his teachers always compliment him on how well he pays attention in class. So I know that he does his best while in school. (his grades reflect this) I do not think it is fair to him to put him in some after school "study hall". I think that would only stress him out even more and seem like a punishment.

Our children are simply getting burned out when they have to work so hard at school then come home and work for hours!!! My son even has weekend homework!!!!

This is only the first few weeks of school.....I cannot imagine going through this entire year this way.

I feel so helpless. Talking to the teachers will not get us anywhere....they are only doing as they are instructed. I guess we could speak with the principals of our childrens schools.

My hubbys sister is in the fifth grade now but my MIL pulled her out of school last year because of the homework load. She was just getting farther behind. Now she is homeschool. This is the same reason my little brother dropped out of high school this year. He just couldn't keep up. The pressure is way to high on elementary children. They are still kids and need a life. My SIL would come home and do nothing but homework, she wasn't being a normal kid. Now she is happier. My mom would of homeschooled my brother but he isn't the easiest to control and she has a lot of health problems. Hubby and I are seriously considering homeschooling my son. We want what is best for him. The teachers around here don't care. They aren't even on a contract so they could care less about their job. It's def. either homeschooling or a good private school. The classrooms are way to overcrowded too! The majority of my elementary years I attended a private school. I had about 10 kids in my class. Then in the fifth grade my parents put me in public school (:mad: ) and I had almost 30. Don't get me started with education. LOL I care a lot about the education given to the children. Hubby said he just can't wait till our son is in school, he hopes we homeschool. LOL

My daughter is a fifth grade teacher - she's not teaching this year because she has a new baby. Her daughter (my granddaughter) however, is in the fifth grade this year. OMG! :eek: My daughter is appalled at the amount of homework that my granddaughter has each night.

My daughter didnt' want to complain, she didn't want to intimidate the teacher (since she is a fifth grade teacher and teaches in the same school district = same curriculum) but last night at "curriculum night" the parents let the teacher have it. My daughter said it was not a pretty sight.

The teacher is young and I think probably stressed about the students learning everything - but whew! it is way too much.

My daughter also says she has to reteach things to my granddaughter and thank goodness she knows how to do it. I remember when my granddaughter was in 3rd grade, she was staying with me and she had a worksheet to complete. I could not understand the instructions and I HAVE A PHD! :eek:

My daughter says that the children should have time to do most of their work in class. When she taught, she gave one sheet of math as homework each night, except for nights when they had tests the next day. She did not give all tests on the same day, and they also had some reading to do each night. She said occasionally they would have a small amount of homework on another subject, but very rarely. They also had weekly spelling words to study at night. But that was it! She said that sometimes she would get a call from a parent complaining about the amount of homework, and it was usually the child that clowned around all day and didn't do their work in class.

I can tell though, that the children in this thread did not do that. You should definitely complain if they are sending home excessive work or work that they did not teach. You can request that the teacher reteach or tutor (or someone else tutor) the child if they are having difficulty.

Homework should NOT be so stressful - it makes the kiddos hate school!

What made me furious at our school is that they have assigned homework every night. Anyone else doing Saxon math? That's what our school uses. The younger grades do one side of the worksheet together in class and bring the other side home to do at night. Every single night of the week. Plus, we have reading logs too. We have to read 30 minutes every night, even on the weekends. I'm all for kids reading, but come on... that's just not very realistic. Especially for kindergarten level!! Who is that homework really for? How many 5 yr. olds know how to read?

Back to the math... in the older grades, 4th and up, they switch to a textbook. They start out with a practice set, then they move on to the actual set, which is about 30 questions. What isn't finished in class goes home at night. The next day, they check the set. If you miss any you have to re-do them. Those have to be done before you start the practice set of the next lesson. You have to keep doing them until they are correct. If you get behind, then you have to stay in from recess to do it. Our kids get 1 recess a day. 1! Steven had a total of 2 recesses from Christmas to Easter. It was heartbreaking. The school would not help us. I finally told them that if they wouldn't give him the help he needed that I was going to homeschool him. They didn't care.

Our school is extremely small. Steven's entire grade has 12 students. Andrew's has 8 and Kaitlyn's has 10. You think they would WANT to have the kids there. I have made it a point to not be at the school complaining about every little thing. I have only gone in when there was a major issue. It was like talking to a brick wall.

All they care about here is the standardized testing at the end of the year. If we get high scores, we get more funding. At the end of last year, Steven's class was behind on math so they made them do 2 whole sets a night for 2 weeks to catch up before they took the tests. It was awful.

Anyway, sorry about the long post, but I have been round and round with this very issue and I obviously have lots to say about it! lol

Its unfortunate that teachers have to care so much about standardized testing to keep their jobs. :(

Very good point.

It's not as though teachers give homework for the heck of it or to torture children. :)

yeah i feel ur pain.. homework is SO MUCH more than it was when i was that age... and i understand of course it has to get harder but i remember in like 2-3rd grade it took my lil sis like 2-3 hours a night to finish it!!! last year she got no homework tho!! it just depends on the teacher.. sorry and i know how u feel cuz my parents work the nightshift and i had to teach her it and i got so frustrated at times.. maybe talk to the teacher if u really feel it hasnt been covered yet..

2nd and 3rd grader
 

Homework takes so much time away from everything else. Actually my third graders homework is easier (so far) than last year. At our school the kids start homework in Kindergarten. Everyday they had homework, and pages of it. In first grade the children had three months to do their "state" project. They pick a state, write to the state about information, make a typographical map, rehearse a speech that will last 10 minutes.
The children have a 20+ page paper to complete (little book). Although this was a lot to do for a first grader the children really do learn a lot from all the other children in the class about different states. Then at the end of the year everyone in the whole school K-8 come to the state fair. The children share food from their state, set up a little display and display their map complete with mountains, capitols, and other state features.

My third grader will have to know his multiplication tables by the end of third grade. My children don't play sports because after they come home they have to get right on doing their homework.

During the summer the children ride horses, and attend camps. Sometimes full day and sometimes part day. I like to find various types of camps to keep them well rounded and all over the bay area.

I need a vacation. Anyone else?

I have debated about post this or not... But have decide to share our story.

My DH and I have four children. We use to be a homeschooling family. We would start our school day at 10am and be done in a few hours. This, left us lots of time to do real life education..visit museums, see historical site, take trips, have playdates, do swimming lessons.

When we moved to California we needed to put them into school.

It was the start of a nightmare for my oldest DD (13), she was 10 at the time. We would spend hours doing homework. I felt like we were reteaching her everything from the day. By the end of the evening, both of us would be frustrated with each other! It took a few years before my DD would finally be dignoised with ADD and asperger. Now, she is on medication and has a Educational Therapist that comes and does school work with her 2x a week. She has had such a huge improvement!

Both my DS's(12 & 9) are really very smart and it doesn't take them any time to get their homework done. I never have to go and double check it. I am greatful for this!

My youngest DD (7) was dignoised with a reading disability last year. So she goes to resource a few times a week. Plus, she also has an Educational Therapist. She can not do the same amount of homework as the other children in 2nd grade. They have to modify the homework for her.

I can so understand everyone frustration with homework... I have been there! What I have learn from all this is that you have to stand up for your children! If the homework is taking to long there might be a reason. Let the teacher know how long it is taking you to do homework. Keep a very detailed homework log, so when you meet with the teacher you can say "It took him blank hours on Monday and on Tuesday.." and so on. Ask to have the homework cut back. If the teacher isn't willing to do this then meet with the principle. After meeting with the principle, we were able to set a 'time limit' for my DD's homework, after one hour she could stop.

Boy do I know what everyone means about too much homework.Chez my 6th grader has soccer practice immediately after school from 4-6 M-F then he comes home to homework every night for at least 2 hrs. We squeeze dinner in between the homework, so I guess dinner time is our family time. Then shower and I try to have him in bed by no later than 10pm, but he needs to be in bed by 9:30 to get enough rest.We both get so frustrated, he has even contimplated quitting soccer to have more free time, and he loves soccer. He too is a honors student and makes exellent grades and I know he is a smart student, the homework is just TOO much. This is not one particular teacher to blame it is all of his classes combined, so that is homework from at least 3-4 subjects a night. If they could assign a certain night for a certain subject that would help so much. I just don't remember things being this hard when I was young. I don't want any kid to be left behind, but how about give all kids some free time.

I remember when my son brought home a homework folder when he was in Kindergarten! Not only did they switch to full days every other day but homework also??? No wonder kids need preschool now.

Luckily they're much older now and can do their homework by themselves. My sister saw me sitting at the table trying to figure out some homework my son had brought home and she was mad that I was doing it for him. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't doing it, I was trying to figure out how to explain it to him so he COULD do it. She didn't understand why he wouldn't know how to do it. I tried to tell her that teachers don't have time to explain every homework assignment, they spend most of their time working with the kids that need more help. She didn't get it. I can't wait till she has to deal with this type of stuff.

My kids have been pretty lucky so far throughout all grades. Last year was a little difficult for me, not my son, who was in the 5th grade, he was bringing home problem solving and boy were they a problem. My husband and I would sit down and try to figure some of these out, I could barely understand what I was reading not alone getting an answer, but that was our only problem. As for homework, the schools that my kids go to believe that work is done in school and homework only comes home if the child did not finish in class or because they were fooling around and did not finish it. I have to give my 3rd grader my own math sheets just so I know that she is doing something at home on top of the reading that I make her do. So far this year, neither of them has had homework, wait until the nightmare begins, I know it will hit eventually at some point but for now things are still pretty laid back.

Just my opinion: I'm 26 yrs old and when I was in school I was always in honors classes from 5th grade on. When we were first put into honors classes every year, there was always a meeting with the honor students and parents explaining how much homework time would be expected every night as well as the other expectations for the classes. It was at that time the student or parent could opt out of being in the honors program if they did not feel like they could handle the pace and amount of work accompanied by being in the advanced classes. I average 2 to 3 hours of homework every night from 5th grade on (high school it was even more - but I went to a college prep high school) . Eventually you became accustomed to the work and not all times of the year were that bad. The first half the year always seemed the worse because you are just getting back to school learning a whole bunch of stuff so fast. But like I said I got used to it. One advantage I had too was that I enjoyed school and school work (probably was considered a dork! :))

My suggestion would be that if your son is in the honors program, that it should be expected that there is more homework and that if he becomes stressed with the amount of work perhaps ask for him to be put in regular classes for year or two till he's ready to be in the advanced. Also I truly believe that it has to be a choice the child makes not one that is forced upon the child whether it be by the teacher, principal, parent, etc. By 5th grade, children know what they can handle or at least I did.

Also one other opinion, so please don't shoot, I am all about students getting help with their school work, but I think it should be done by the teachers or the school. It should be done by people who truly know the cirriculum. The reason I say this is because from my first hand experience. My dad is a high school teacher and growing up I would ask him from help with my homework. However, since my dad did not know what my teacher was actully teaching us in class or what the specific directions were for doing the homework...it was always hard for him to truly help. Just reading the text your child brings home will not show you what he is learning in class. Sure it might give you an idea but it does not include the teaching that was done in the classroom. And unless your child takes excellent notes (which I don't know any 5th graders including myself at the time who did that) you cannot know what was actually said, taught, etc. Either way, I learned that doing homework by myself got me better grades than when my dad helped me.

Also I tutored my cousin throught out her schooling years. (She just graduated from HS in June). However, she was one of the children out there that school never came easy for her due to developmental issues. And I found that she used me as her scapegoat. I was the one that helped her but really I just ended having to do the homework for her because she could never get it. This is the worse thing that can be done for a child...when people do the work for the child. A lot times, I found it easier to just do it for her because it meant we would get it done sooner. I had told her and her parents about this and that she needed professional help but it was no use. Because I could never explain it to her properly, that the teacher should be the one helping her, but to them school was something she needed to get through. School was never something she would be good at and never would be. While I think there are plenty of people out there in the world where school just "isn't there thing", people should still get the help they need from the right people. Just becuase I have a college degree does not mean I have the means or the knowledge to help youngsters with their school work. Times change and the things kids learn in school and the way the are taught to learn is different from what we were taught....(i.e. new math - some children do not even learn how to do long division anymore) . We can't expect that we can know how to help a child with their homework.

Just my opinion....so this was so long...just something I feel strongly about.

Well, I can understand. I mean, my child is in kindergarten and already she has 15 pages of homework to do. Its given on Mondays and needs to be turned in on Thurs - and these are 5 yr olds. So I can only imagine that as they get older the homework is much harder and a lot more of it. Patience is all I can say....

Also, have you have considered a tutor or another source of homework help?