I'm not sure what to do
 

I told my 4 yr old to clean up her room. Nothing major, she just needed to pick her crayons up and put them back in the box, and she had a few other little toys that she needed to put where they belong. Nothing she couldn't handle, nothing she hasn't done 100 times before. Well, she had a complete meltdown because I told her she had to pick them up.

I mean she is throwing herself on the floor SOBBING and kicking her feet because I told her to pick up those toys and crayons. If she would just do it, it honestly would take less than 5 minutes.

Because of the tantrum, I took her blanket away (its a security blanket that she still drags everywhere with her except to school). I told her she could have her blanket back when she calmed down and when she picked up her room like I'd asked.

Taking the blanket has just made the screaming and crying WORSE. So now I am stuck. I don't want to give the blanket back because I don't want her to think she can scream and cry and get her way. At the same time, I think maybe I shouldn't have taken the blanket being that is her security blanket. She is crying so hard she has thrown up and she is showing no signs of stopping.

My two older kids never acted like this, and even my 4 yr old has never done it to this degree before. I honestly don't know what to do.

I don't want to give in to her, but yet she is making herself sick (literally) from screaming and crying.

:confused:

DON'T GIVE IN!!! Be strong!

Well I think you're right - you can't give the blankie back now. :( Maybe pick the things up yourself and tell her she can't have THEM for awhile. If she normally doesn't act this way, maybe there is something else going on with her, too. Good luck... when it's over, just snuggle her for me, ok???:rolleyes:

Dont give in. When My Daughter was younger she would have tantrums untill she would throw up. We would give into her. Now we have a 7 yr old that still has tantrums and we are dealing with it now

Have you suggested that the two of you pick them up together and then she can have her blanket back?

Could something else be going on to make her so upset?

She normally throws the tantrums. She is the DRAMA QUEEN. She has just never done it to this extent before, but then I've never taken her blanket before either.

The toys are put away now. She threw them down the hall and screamed that she was NOT going to put them away. So I got her by the arm and walked her screaming down the hall and made her pick them and put them away in her room. While I was in there I also got her to pick up the crayons and put them away.

I hate having to be the mean mommy and stand over her making her do things like that.

At least that is done. I told her she could have her blanket back when she calmed down. Her response was to take one of the toys she had just put up and throw it at me. So now she is in time out. :(

She is most definitely my most challenging child. There is no grey area with her. She is either the sweetest little angel you will ever meet, or she is the holy terror.

Sounds like my sister. I would give her blanket back, then take something else away. Like my sister has to go in her room, and when she cleans it up, she can come out. OR she can't go outside and play or watch tv or go swimming.

My daughter who is now 6 had a brief period like this about a year ago where she mistakenly thought it was a good idea to scream and pitch fits. Nuh-uh, ain't happening. I would grab her gameboy, go into the bathroom with her, tell her that she could pitch her fit all she wanted and I would talk to her when she calmed down. Then I'd sit against the door so she couldn't get out, put the earphones in and played her game until she was done. The first few times, she pitched a fit for about an hour, after a few times though, she eventually gave it up. After a few 5 minute rounds, she eventually got the picture that she wasn't going to win--I could just head in the direction of the bathroom and she'd stop.
Once she was calm, we discuss what she'd done and I'd tell her that as a result, she had to have a punishment. (no tv, loss of a toy, etc)
It completely changed her behavior altogether.

Just a suggestion. What works will differ from child to child, I'm sure. Just find something that works and be consistant. Hang in there!:)

She has it back now. I had to when she looked over at me and told me she would do anything I wanted but to please give her back her "blank". That just broke my heart.

She is MUCH calmer now.

I feel bad. I think I was wrong for taking that particular item. :( It just made the situation go from bad to worse.

So now she is back to my little angel child. I got a hug and she said, "I love you, Mommy. Thank you for my blank. I will keep my room clean, Ok?"

*sigh*

It's hard being a mom.

Awe, thats soo sweet!! Did she clean her room?

Yes, I made her to that when she threw the toys down the hall. I'm not kidding she had to pick up maybe 4 crayons and 3 other toys. That's ALL. I had to take her by the arm and make her pick them up and put them away.

On the plus side, my son decided to clean his room all on his own without being told! lol

I guess he didn't want to tangle with me after he saw me dealing with her.

Awe, of coarse, she was upset. I know how you feel. I have a 4 yr old sister....

Awwwwww! Just by reading all of your posts, I can tell what a GREAT mom you are :) Even though your daughter threw a little tantrum (what child doesn't at one time or another, right?) she sounds absolutely precious and I am so glad that you got everything worked out and that she has calmed down.

Just be glad that she is only FOUR and is throwing TOYS (not that-that's good, but you know what I mean) - I have a 14 year old cousin (boy) who is, well....I can't even put into words how bad this child is to his mother, and he is STRONG...which is a very bad thing in her situation. BUT - it is his mothers fault. I won't get into details because I'm sure everyones jaws would just drop, he is BAD. I'll just say this - when he was 12 I had to personally call the cops on him.

Just be sure that you make them mind and correct them when they are YOUNG - so that they know you mean business....you certainly don't want things to get more and more out of control as time passes like my cousin.

It sounds like you are doing a WONDERFUL job though so I'm sure you have absolutely nothing to worry about :)

My Neice used to cry until she vomited. She also had a blankie thing. You will be happy to know she just turned 6 and doesnt do it anymore and she gave up the blankie all by herself. Hang in there Mom. :)