Its always us
 

MY Husband and I had some things planned to do today and his Mom called and needed some things moved and some shelfs hanged so he went over there to help her. I am not complaining that he is helping her. She is separated from her Husband so she needs all our support right now. The thing that grips me is My Husband has another brother that never has to help. His brother and his wife are very unreliable and never return calls or anything. We also have to have all Holidays and family functions at our house all the time. His brothers house is always messy so they wont have any over at their house. Oh well I am just venting

Whenever you do something like this, think of it as doing your good deed for the day. Don't let it get you down, God will pay you twofold. It is his mom and she is going through hard times now, as for your brother in law, he probably does not sleep to well at nights, leave it to God.

Im sorry and I know how you feel, I love my mom and would do any thing for her. Shess had 10 kids and theres only two of us that help her. the others only come around when they need some thing an dits so sad. here I sit with my floors out because of a water leak all had to be replaced and we have no time to get anything that we need done and we are the ones called all the time to help out at my moms. Out of all these family members all holidays are done at my house to. So its always all put on us. and they are all better off then us. But we do it becaus ewe love mom, but man if they could all help out just once in awhile. sorry to go on and on , But yeah I know how you feel.

I know how you feel, some relationships seem so unbalanced in the give and take department....sometimes resentments can build up because we might have to do more than what others are willing to put out.....

I look at it this way....your the decent ones doing the right things for the right reasons....they are not, you will never have to feel guilty or have regrets for being there sacrificing, or compromising to help others....;)

Oh don't feel bad girl, it is the exact same way with my husband and I. I have 2 brothers (well one is a half brother and doesn't live here, he's about an hour away) and I also have a sister - and out of my brother, my sister, and myself - my husband and I are ALWAYS the ones that help my mom out. It really ticks us off because it is like we are the ones that are just "EXPECTED" to do everything for her. My husband mowes her yard, trims her trees, we both help clean her patio periodically, we helped her paint her bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, hall and computer room a while back...my husband painted her garage floors, he put a new mailbox in as some car hit her old one, and my husband and a friend of his also went over and fixed her air conditioner, and I am CONSTANTLY running errands for her - oh my goodness.....just NUMEROUS things that we have done for her. And now she lost her job and is trying to do this reverse mortgage on her house and GUESS WHO everyone wants to take a loan out at the bank to get the money to do it???? :D That's right, my husband and I. It's just very frustrating because I have a brother and sister who are perfectly capable of helping, and they COULD offer to do alot more for her, but they don't. I guess they are smart - they know that my husband and I will help my mom...so they take the easy road and just sit back and watch :mad:

i feel the same way... it happens like this on my end to.. but oh well... I believe hugely on KARMA...

I have the same problem. I have three sons, and only one is ever willing to help, and he lives with me, so I always feel like I put everything on his shoulders. It really bothers me that the other two are so lazy.

Awe, I am sorry. Is he home or still gone over there to help her?

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Yep I agree.

I had the same issue with my MIL starting when my FIL passed 23 years ago. Until then, she was very self-sufficient - paid all the bills, grocery shopped, tended the garden, etc. When he passed, all of a sudden she needed my hubby to pay her bills, take care of the banking, do all the yard work (2 acres worth) and this was when we had an infant and a toddler!!

My hubby has two older brothers and a younger sister. His older brother never did anything (right up till she passed two years ago) and his sister only ever "visited", though in Mom's last few years she did take her grocery shopping every now and then.

Other than that, it seemed that duties were divided between my hubby and his brother. As she got older and sick, they did everything for her - from moving her into assisted living, to taking day/night shifts with her the last week of her life. I never understood why she didn't ask the other two to help out, nor why my hubby and his brother didn't either.

I can tell you now that she isn't here anymore, putting up with the hubby taking some time to help her out is better than wishing we had done more. I still feel for you though!

Well, I'm an only child so there isn't anybody else even in a pinch ... so it could be worse. :)

I Know Exactly What You Mean, We Had A Similar Sort Of Relationship With My Husbands Parents, He Has A Sister And Nephew (that They Treat Like Another Son - But Thats Another Story). And Yet It Was Always Us That Were Called Upon And Expected To Be There When Needed.

We Just Accepted It Really But Last Year A Big Argument Occured And She Upset Us So Much - And Until We Get A Proper Apology From Her, We Dont Speak To Her. This Was More Serious Than A Normal Family Argument.

Though I Never Thought Anything Like This Would Happen Between Us, I Have To Admit, Life Is Real Quiet And Calm Now. My Fil, Still Speaks To Us, Which Shows Us That He Feels His Wife Is At Fault, But Obviously He Must Stand By Her Too.

My Point In All This Was That Even Though It Was Always Us That Did Things For Them And Was Always There For Them - We Never Got Any Appreciation For It, We Were Taken For Granted.

Good Luck With Your Situation.