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For those of you with children... Just doin' some thinkin'.... :) How old were you when you had your first child? Do you think you were ready at that age? How soon after the birth of your child did you return to work? I don't have any kids yet, but definitely want children! Thanks in advance! |
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Children are great... You'll never be able to prepare yourself for all that a child brings... but, if you heart is prepared - your ready! |
I was 18 when I had my son, who I gave up for adoption,we just reunited 36 years later, and I was 33 when I had my dtr. Both times I went to work after 6 weeks. With my dtr, my Mom watched her while I worked for 6 years and that was great. I don't think you are ever ready, but if I could do it over I would opt to have been younger with my dtr. |
I eloped at 16 :eek:, got pregnant at 17, turned 18 in August and had my first child in October of that year. I went back to work 4 weeks later.I had my second at 21 and divorced when the second was six weeks old. |
I really think that it depends on the person. No set age is the best to have kids, or how far apart to have them or even to have more then one! What is right for one is not always right for every one. For me, I had my first son when I was just shy of turning 21, he was born on October 25, 1993 and my birthday is December 18. I went on to have 3 more boy's. Birthdates are September 28,1994,April 24,1996 and April 26,1997. The last 2 were actually both due in July but they were born 3 months early. People thought I was nuts to have them close but that is how my husband and I wanted it. They tend to pair off and play together they really never fight. So it worked out great for us. I also got people who asked when we were going to try for a girl and I would ask them if they had 4 of the same sex kids would they be trying for another just to get a certain sex? I worked in day care before I had my boy's and we had talked about me staying home with the children before we had them. I was lucky that we could do this, my husband has a great paying job for just having one income. I do watch my friend 2 girls now for her so I guess I have a bit of a home daycare at the moment. I feel that I was ready to have a child when I did. I would not of had my kids if I felt I could not handle it.It's a big thing to do and IF you feel your mot ready for it it doesn't hurt to put it off till you are ready! |
I was 21, and definetly ready. I went back to work when she was 6 months old, and hated leaving her, however she is 30 now, and a very intelligent, strong person. |
I was 27 when I had my lst child, my son. And I was 30 when I had my daughter. I can remember when my DH & I brought our son home from the hospital. I thought, even at age 27, my god, we are actually the caregivers of this dear sweet boy and I don't know a thing. :D But you learn as you go. I read some books and asked lots of questions of my mom and sisters who allready had children. I was lucky. I had 4 months off with each of my children before I went back to work. But I worked at the same place both times and they were very generous with my time off. :) It wasn't paid time off though. |
I was 16 when I had my daughter. I was no where near ready, had very little support on my family end. Her father has a very stable family and they did a good chunk of the work with her upbringing. Even tho I think her father is a jerk ;) she wouldn't be the wonderfully polite, caring, kind girl she is without him and his parents influence. Ivory lives with her dad currently. She may live with me later in her life (She's nearly 10 now) but she's in a good place now. I won't have any more kids. I knew when I was 16 I wasn't going to be mom of the year. I'm just too selfish. I guess it's good that I've realized that. I'll just keep getting more dogs. :p |
I have told both of my kids DO NOT even think of having kids til your closer to 30....the twenties is such a learning, growing and maturing time.....trying to find work, get settled, wanting to go, wanting to be with friends, instability...why complicate it when you don't have to....once their here there's no turning back... I was young when I had mine, all I thought you needed to do was love, feed, and change diapers to take care of a baby...now that I'm older, I can see all the things I would have done differently if I just would have waited and learned these things before babies.... |
I was with my sons dad for 2 years then got pregnant and delived him right after I turned 20. Did I think I was ready? YES. I would never give him back but I WASNT READY. I hadnt even figured out how to live on my own let alone be financially responsible for a baby. Sure I knew how to care for him but It was hard. I went back to work when he was 2 weeks old because his dad is the laziest man on the face of this earth. I left him when my son was 9 months. I got married and had my second son at 23. i was way more ready for him. my oldest is now almost 7 and youngest is 4. Kids are a lot of work and make sure you are done with all your YOU time because you lose that completely for the first 4 years at least. No pooping alone, no showers alone. No sleep. Never ending diapers. but on the other hand you get the first smile, first word, first steps, you get to see your OWN MIRACLE develop. |
I was 25 when I had our first son. A year later came son # 2. Stayed home with them until they started school. Got a job at their school. When they were 13 & 14 years old, we adopted two girls and a boy from their school, that kept me there for a few more years. When the last two were ready to start Jr.High, I retired. Now I'm a Grandmother of 2, have 2 in College and 2 in High School, and have been married for 26 years:D :D :D :D :D (all of a sudden I feel old):eek: :eek: :eek: |
I was 26 and then 29. Neither were "planned". You know how no birth control is 100%? Well, TWICE I've been in that little window of "oops". And I'm not the only one in my family. I have told both of my daughters that they'd just better not do ANYTHING until they're ready, because we're obviously a fertile family of females!! But God knew way better than I did (thankfully). Because although we always wanted children, we always were waiting for the right time. Heck, I've been waiting for the right time to remodel the bathroom for about 10 years, so having kids might not ever have happened if left up to us. :rolleyes: |
I was married at 19 (I am from that school too, get out of high school, get married, have a family).. I had my first daughter just after turning 22 and yes I was very ready.. I had been a nanny for 8 years before I got married, I started raising kids at 11 yrs old! My second daughter was born when I was 27, I purposely waited until the first was 5... it worked out great for us! My oldest had her time to be a "baby" and the second had her chance too. I went back to work at 8 weeks with both of them.. the oldest stayed with maw maw and youngest went to daycare.. it made the youngest much more outgoing than the first... My girls are 21 and 16 now and I wouldnt have it any other way... d |
I got married after I turned 16. I didn't have much of a family and liked his. So I thought I was doing the right thing. A year later I had my son. I can tell you no 17 year old is ready to have a child. I had a lot of help from my inlaws though. Then I had my second son when I was 21. I divorced my husband 2 years later. He was a lazy man too and only worked for money for alcohol and drugs. He didn't care if we had food or anything else. My oldest son is 20 and is an EMT so I think he turned out well even though I was such a young mom. My sons have nothing to do with their father though. And he has 2 more sons by different women. I wish I had waited and picked a better father for my children. But their stepfather is good to them. I told my sons to wait until they are financially settled before starting a family. |
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Thank you all for sharing your stories with me. Some of them were real tear-jerkers, but all sound like they have happy endings. You guys are the best! Thanks again! |
I'm only 20 (going on 21 in December) I got married the August after I graduated high school so I was 18, I had my son a month after I turned 20. I was extremely ready. I was ready soon after I got married but we wanted to wait until we were both ready and hubby told me he would say when he was, he wasn't quite ready to give me up yet. LOL I want my kids I guess fairly close in age and hubby wants to wait until our son is in preschool. He is just use to that because his parents waited till he was 11 to have his sister. Is it normal to want to have a baby so soon though? Like after my son is a lil over a year? Hubby says no I say go! HeHe I never did go back to work after I got pregnant and delivered. I am very fortunate I get to see all the cool new things he does each day. :) |
I had my first daughter when I was 24. My second when I was 27. I love em both. I wouldn't change anything, but, I think that being a parent is hard for anyone! It is definitely something to plan and prepare for. I thought I was ready, but I wish I would have waited a little longer. Just, be sure that you are financially and emotionally ready. |
i was about 27 i think no i was not ready went back to work when she was 5 weeks old but after a yr and 1/2 i stayed home with her until just recently not because i really wanted to but it was ok .gave me cabin fever though i would rather be out working!! i would not have another child though! |
I had my first daughter at 18. I was definitely NOT ready. I had my son at 20 - I wasn't ready then either. My youngest was born when I was 27, and I will admit that I STILL wasn't ready. I love my kids with all my heart. They are definitely blessings, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. I don't think I'll be winning any mother of the year awards, but we've all managed to survive. We've dealt with me just being pregnant and grumpy. We've dealt with post partum depression, we've dealt with me just being flat out overwhelmed. We've met our challenges head on and we've come out stronger and closer. |
I was married at 20, had my first son at 21 and my second son at 25 (I'm 53 years old now). I was so extremely lucky, I had the support of my family and the support of my husband's family. My mom babysat my kids when I decided I wanted to go back to work, and if for any reason she couldn't babysit (vacation, Doctor's appointment, etc. ) my mother-in-law would come over and stay with them. Both grandmothers were absolutely in love with their grandsons and loved spending time with them. My sons are now 31 and 28 and are wonderful human beings. When people tell me how great my boys are, I always think of my Mom and mother-in-law, because they played a major role in the men they are today. |
We married when I was 25, and tryed a long time to get pregnant, which never did happen, and after a while of trying and also finding out about a possible issue with me we decided to look into adoption. We brought home our daughter from China on my 35th birthday! She was 11 months old and was(and still is!)the light of our lives! I thank God everyday for this little blessing in our lives, I still cannot believe she is now 4 1/2, seems like just yesterday she was placed into my arms. Desiree:) |
I was 19 when I had my son. I was NOT ready. 2 1/2 yrs later, I had my twins. NOT ready again. I'm now 33, and I think I could be ready when I turn 35. Maybe it's true, your never ready. Both of my pregnancies were easy, physically. So-- draining, emotionally. I was very overwhelmed and a single parent of three at 23. Those were some hard years. :confused: I have been with the "true" love of my life for 10 years now. We would both like to try to have a child, in two years. It's still scary, but by then we should (hopefully) be ready as can be. If not, then it wasn't ment to be. My son is almost 14 (December) The girls just turned 11. |
I wasnt ready for My first two at 19 then 21. After 7 yrs I divorced my then Husband. 8 yrs ago I married again and we had a daughter I was ready for at 35 yrs old. |
I am topped out at three. I have a 11 year old (girl), 8 year old (girl) and a 3 year old (boy). My daughter was born two weeks before my 21st birthday (been with hubby since I was 16). Love it love it. I don't feel as though I have missed out on anything and have done very well for myself and family. Having a family is an awesome thing. When I had my first daughter I stayed home until she was almost a year. Then with my second daughter I had my six weeks and the same with my son. Things changed a lot more between baby one and two because we had more financial responsibility and I also liked having a career and family time. |
I had my dtr when hubby and I were both 22. I feel I am not great mom material. Too spoiled myself I guess. We had a lot of help from my parents. She has turned out great though. So maybe I wasn't so bad. Hubby says I will make a great grandmom. Spoil em and send them back. |
I had my kids at 25, 28, 33, and 35. I have never NOT worked. Even when my kids were little I worked. When my youngest started school I became a baker and made baked goods for 11 elementary schools and a school for children with cerebral palsy. I made many hundreds of cupcakes every day plus cookies, apple crisp, and rolls. I have burn marks all over my arms. No one was happier than me when schools did away with unhealthy, sugary foods!! I lost my job but I went to night school and was trained in computer graphics and got a job doing that. I wouldn't change having any of my kids when I had them except to have the last two closer in age to the first two. |
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