This situation is out of hand
 

Something strange happened today. My bf and I went to his apt to pick something up(he lives with his older sis). While we were in his room we heard a noise in his kitchen but disreqarded it thinking it was from another apt, you can hear noises clearly. When he went to the kitchen to get something he saw his sister's ex boyfriend trying to hide. His sister and her ex no longer live together but they have a daughter together. However she was in her room with the doors closed and she didn't know he was in the apt. He had gotten in somehow, we think that he made a copy of her key. When my bf saw him he told him not to say anything but my bf was like ok because he thought that they were playing around with each other and he didn't know what was going on. He used to come to the house all the time so it was no big deal. However when his sis went to the bathroom, which is on the other side of the apt. my bf told her her ex was in the house. She was shocked, but she pretended she didn't know. Me and my bf had to leave so we told her to come with us so we all left together and he stayed in the house. Later she told my bf that her ex had hit her yesterday and she was crying. She also has bruises on her body. She did't call the cops because he was in jail before and for their daughter didn't want him to go again. She is scared for her life and doesn't know how he keeps entering the apt. We told her to tell the cops and I called my brother, which is a cop and he told me she has to tell them and file a domestic incident report. Yesterday he entered the apt while she was sleeping and that is when he hit her. I don't even feel safe there. I had to leave.

OMG she needs to report him NOW!!!!!! he could really hurt her or worse it is sick that he comes into her apartment she needs to protect herself and her child by getting a protection order against him! I am so sorry you have to witness this. Please help her by telling her that her child is also in Danger what if he decides to kidnapp her in the middle of the night? Get those locks changed ASAP!!!!!!!! I don't want to scare you but i really want someone to help her

Good Lord - this seems like a very BAD situation...and it is only going to get worse unless someone seriously files a complaint on this guy. If I were you guys - I would NOT be staying in that apt. NONE of you. If he is coming in-in the middle of the night while she is sleeping...well, that is just CREEPY. It's bad enough that he got in and hit her - what if next time it's WORSE? She has every reason to be afraid, and especially if they have a child - I would keep that kid as far away from that guy as possible! What was he in jail for?

Seriously, someone needs to call the cops and file a complaint and get him AWAY from her and the child. Get a restraining order against him. If he gets angry enough, he could snap and next time it may be WORSE than just a "hit". IMO, this is no situation to fool around with and it SHOULDN'T be taken lightly. I tell you, these days...I don't put ANYTHING past ANYONE.

That is what my brother told me to tell her and me and my bf kept telling her over and over she has to do it or it may be her life. They're daughter is only 6 yrs old and when he hit her suposedly her daughter was in her bedroom sleeping, imagine she was up and heard it? It could be very traumatizing for a child to watch. I don't really know this guy but after he got out of jail he lived with her for a little while and that is how I met him but we would only like greet, etc. I never really spoke to him much. I know what you mean. I was scared just being there, and they're apt is big, if something happened it would be hard to escape. She is going to try to get the locks changed tonight, they do it 24 hrs but the thing is when we left he was still in the house, so when they get back he may still be there

It is a very bad situation. I never knew what was going on and that it was THIS bad. She told us today that he found a card that was given to her by one of her coworkers and I guess that made him rage. He has been calling her co workers and sneaking into the apt., looking thru her things. I think he is obsessed with her and stalking her or something. I used to stay in the apt. but me and my bf haven't in a while, he's been staying at my house. So when we got there we tried to get in but something was blocking the door. His sis had blocked the door with a cart, and a broom and we were wondering why. So when we went in and found out all this had happened, it was to keep him out. Little did she know he was already in the house. This is like some horror movie or something. He could have a gun, and that is not a chance I want to take. I think he was in jail twice, from what my bf told me. The first time was for domestic violence against his ex girlfriend, which everyone thought the girl was lying but now since he hit her yesterday we all believe it. The second time was cause he was making fake IDs and selling it to minors. He and my bf's sister had been together since college, this is crazy. He even threatened to kill himself in texts he sent her, she has a whole bunch of evidence.

Well first off he is breaking and entering that is a felony she needs to call the cops right now and have them escort her home and also see if someone can wait with her till the lock smith comes. she also needs to secure her windows and alert her neibors to the situation so they can help keep an eye out for him. she really needs to cal the police. If he is on any type of paroll this is s great way to get rid of him and with prior arrests she could put him away for a long time. this is going to get out of control really quick if she does not help herself. I am so worried for her and her daughter:( please talk to her again. My younger sister was in an abusive relationship and we finally got her away from the guy. they don't think it will ever escalate and they think they can stop them but they can't and once he hits her once it will only get worse from there she needs to get help now it may be a life saving decision.

Someone needs to step in IMMEDIATELY!! This IS stalking and it WILL get worse...he needs to be charged no matter what...he needs MAJOR help...I hope this can get done soon..for her and her daughters sake..

Dawn

She needs to take charge of her and her daughters life, and don't let a child make decisions that can only be made by an adult. I hope you can talk some sense into her before it's too late.

I am so scared for them too. I just keep wondering what would he have done if me and my bf didn't go there and see him. Out of all days we went today for some reason and we haven't been there in over a week. I also had a friend in an abusive relationship. They are hard to get out of :( Thank goodness my bf is not controlling like that. Right now she is in his family's house and I guess talking to them about what happened.

I agree...he needs serious help!

You and your boyfriend need to report it if you saw the bruises and this freak in her house. Your brother being a cop should be obligated to report it also since you told him. (I only say this from being married to a cop and it's my understanding that he would be obligated to report a crime if he knew about it). Could be wrong.....

Lets hope that would work...!! I would think he should be able to do something but the law varies so much who knows..

Dawn

She needs to report it. Whatever the process is for a restarining order--she needs to find out and get one.

She needs to get a court appointed person to do the off-site daughter exchange when he has visitation so she doesn't have to be involved.

Change those locks, and add a couple deadbolts.

She needs to NOT communicate with him AT ALL. Cut off all contact.

A restraining order would cover her at work as well so if he coming round there or calling--he needs to be reported.

Everyone at her work need to be aware and also cut him off.

There is NO middle ground or compromise with a person like her ex------none.

She needs you all to stand up for her now and step in-----she will not be able to do this alone as he knows just what buttons to push (he installed them) to get her to crack.

Please help her--her life really does depend on it.

Everyone thinks it can't happen to them---every woman six feet under at the hands of an abuser thought so too.

I hope everything turns out well.

I have never understood why people just sit back and let stuff like this continue to happen. She needs to report him, and change her locks and whatever else is needed to keep herself and her daughter safe. This is probably why it's not a good idea to date criminals. I feel sorry for her daughter :( If not for herself she needs to do something to protect her daughter from this weirdo. Quite frankly if I had someone who hit me, I would report his ass and move within 2 minutes of it happening. I hope her daughter doesn't grow up traumatized.

My brother can't report it. We saw him in the house but thought nothing of it since he always used to be in the house, as he used to live there for a little bit. It was afterwards that we found out what happened.

srry I made a typing error, the child doesn't know anything about what's going on, It's her mom that doesn't want him to go to jail again, that's why she hasn't told the cops :mad:

Yea...my brother can't really do anything about it since he didn't see anything or wasn't there....there's no proof that the guy was in her house. It will only do if she reports it herself and he won't even go to jail right away just for that.

I think she is in the process of changing her locks. From what my bf told me yesterday when we spoke on the phone was that she spoke to him(her ex) but he didn't hear what they were talking about. He said that she said something about just taking care of her daugther and that he should just do his part. She also went to his family's house to show them the bruises and tell them. The guys sister works with her, so they are co workers, they can't really cut all ties. It's a complicated situation, however she is making it more complicated by not doing anything about it. She is disregarding what happened. When she found out I told my brother what happened and asked for his advice she got mad and said not to tell him anything else and to forget about it. Soo.......not really sure what to do here :(

Thanks...I hope so too for her own good

That's scarey and is something that shoudn't be taken lightly. I hope she takes a stand to proctect herself and her Daughter.I pray it doesn't turn really ugly.

TAKE PICS OF THE BRUISES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! even if she doesn't do anything now she will have evidence for when she decides she wants to save her life. She obviously doesn;t care and thinks she can control the situation. i am so sorry you have to be involved in this. I really hate to say this but if she on't help herself or her daughter then no one is to blame for what moght happen but her. This guy sounds like a piece of work and it's only a matter of time before you hear this sad story all over the news it only takes one time of him breaking in for it to escalate:mad: . this guy is sick he is not right in the head!! What the Hell is she thinking. i mean realy if she wants to be stupid and risk her life then thats her choice but she has a child that can't protect herself. To be honest i would tell her if she doesn't turn him in that you will call child protective services on her for not protecting her child. Does she know the horror and trauma this child will face if he kills her?:mad: :mad: :mad: I am sorry i am not mad at you but this kills me!:mad: :thumbdown

She needs to change the locks or move, this isn't going to get better only worse, I don't mean to scare you but if he is that violent then there isn't anything he will not do, he could hurt your b/f his daughter or really hurt his exwife, she & he need help...I am speaking from experience it doesn't get better....tell your b/f sister in a nice way to wake up and do something, people don't change....:(

She is being very ignorant and I guess thinks she can handle it herself. You're right, it's not a very good idea to date criminals....I certainly wouldn't. And he's been to jail before, he might not be scared to go again. I would do the same as you if someone hit me, except I would beat his ass or atleast try to lol and then report him.

Me too!! I hope it doesn't escalate into something else, but from what I've learned about abusive relationships it usually does. :(

She wouldn't let me take pics of them..yeah right. She already is mad that I told me brother about her situation so if I were to take pics she would think I was going to show him and he would get in trouble. She doesn't want to listen. I mean I don't understand it either, she asks me and my bf to help her and then she doesn't listen to us..we both told her to tell the police. I really don't know what I oculd do here if she doesn't want to help herself. It's sad to say but I guess we'll just have to see and hope nothing bad happens.

I don't understand why she has to be the one to report it. You, your boyfriend and your cop brother all know what's going on. Why is it that you can not report what you suspect and witnessed, (YOU SAW THIS GUY HIDING IN THE HOUSE WHEN HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE), to the police. You also saw the bruises. I would think that the detectives would investigate it and maybe get her the help she needs and a victims advocate would help persuade her to press charges. I know here in Washington State if they cops were called and bruises were witnessed by the police, then he would go to jail whether she wanted to press charges or not. It's mandatory and the State presses charges. Wouldn't hurt to call the police department and ask. It's my opinioin that by doing so you may be saving her life. Especially if he is doing all the things you say he is and breaking in in the middle of the night and beating her.

Always does----history proves this over and over. She is playing with fire and putting that little girl at risk.

God forbid he ever thinks she is movong on with another man.

:(

Ok so she finally changed her locks :thumbup: I feel much safer now :)