Why Why Why (joke)
 

Why, Why, Why?


do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?:eek:

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?:confused:

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?:p

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?:rolleyes:

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?:cool:

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Those were good, thanks for sharing.

That was funny!! The string and the vacuum got me.

LOL those were sooooooooooooo true:D

How do those bugs get into closed light fixtures? I always wanted to
know the answer!:confused:

I have a few more
 

just posting some of the many jokes i get throught out the day i think i have a few more hold on ........


I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the
item away
from her and I asked her not to do that. Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been,
it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter
looked at me with
total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You
are so smart."
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy
Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked
along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering
this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to
be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.


When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom or Dad, or anyone
that will get a laugh out of it...

Me to I am still laughing :)

OMG, those jokes were too funny and very TRUE..


Thanks for sharing,

So funny! :D

useful tips
 

I get jokes on a daily basis here at work so everyday im going to make a thread so look for it i will name it joke of the day and throughout the day i will post jokes that i get on there:D


Unique and Useful Tips!


Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, Set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants; work the nutrients in your soil. Wet Newspapers put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

Broken Glass
Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glass pieces of
Glass- the fibers catch ones you can't see!

No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gif wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not Have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and - voila - static is gone.

Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out MS; font-size:
.
Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include Something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily.

Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper Than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair...

Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2"
With Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," & can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, ESP. If it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

Take baby powder to the beach
Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When your ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.

i loved all of them cause they are soooooooo true

lol that was great! needed a little chuckle today ;)

Funny - but true! I'm always going to the refrig opening the door, closing it and walking away only to return with the hopes that something exciting will catch my eye. I have to admit that I've spent too much time doing this and not 1 time was there anything new in there.

[QUOTE=Elisandra;1061915]Why, Why, Why?


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Oh this is a biggie at my house. But it goes beyond just returning to the fridge. Someone in the house will eat the last of the crackers but the empty box remains in the cubboard. Or cereal, same thing. I am always asking my family is they think the food fairy pops in regularly to refill the empty boxes. They are the same ones to complain when we are out of crackers. Yet, when I am making my shopping list and check the cubboards, I see the cracker box so I don't put that on my list.

LOL This thread is hilarious!! :p I was cracking up over some of those things...especially the keeping the house as warm in winter as it is in summer when you are complaining about it. I am so that way here, in the summer it will be freezing in my house and it's like "ah" and in the winter it can be warmer in my house than it was in the summer with the air conditioner on and I'm freezing and want it even warmer! Crazy how it works like that! :p

Thank you I needed a laugh this afternoon! The tips were GREAT -- I'll have to post them on the fridg