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Dogs vs. Cats, Hilarious!! If you are a Dog OR a Cat person, you will love this! -- Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary: 8:00 am-Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am-A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am-A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am-Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm-Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm-Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm-Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm-Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm-Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm-Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary: Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them; I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now... |
That is hilarious! Thanks for sharing:) |
Thank you for the laugh :D |
I loved this one! I got it awhile back through email and just loved it! Thanks for posting! |
thanks for posting i loved it. i swear that is how my cat feels about me lol |
omg goodness that describes me cats and my dogs perfectly right down to the sickening vomit on the floor. uhh my husbands darn cats |
I know!! My cats act the same way, I can just see them thinking and saying those things!! :p |
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