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Thought you might get a kick out of this.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most
men-- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in
and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most
women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton
received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both
of
you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton
are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the
floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her
in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign
to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could
help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you
people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera
and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the
hunting department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store
suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he
practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes
of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over
the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and
screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least ....

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut
the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly,
"Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Walmart