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My MIL needs to get a life!!!!!!! Help my MIL is driving me crazy. My MIL is have a hard time dealling with fact that her grand-daughter does not live with her anymore. Up until the past couple weeks she has been fine. But ever since my step daughter stayed a week with her grandparents while we were on our honeymoon things have been bad. My MIL is constantly crying and saying how much she misses my step-daughter and she is having a hard time handling this. This woman sees her grand-daughter every Tuesday night (swim class) and every other weekend (use to be every week, but we never got to do anything as a family so that changed). That is more than most grandparents do!! I knew when I my step daughter moved in with us that it was going to be a major adjustment for everyone, but come on enough allready the big move happened back in May. I would think my MIL would have delt with this by now. I am trying to be sympathic but my MIL is not helping herself. She works at home, and never leaves house unless to run an errand or so. She has molded her life completely around my step-daughter, to the point she has no hobby's, activity's, or friends. Heck, she won't even go to church unless my step daughter is going with her. I have made several suggestions to help her but she just dismisses them. I am really getting tried of hearing her whine and cry about this all of time. I am to the point of telling to her "get over it, and get a life", but I know that would be rude. She is not realizing that her grand-daughter wants a family with a mom and dad that does things with her besides the normal everyday stuff and sitting at home., and she wants to go play with her friends inlieu of hanging out at her grandma's all by her self. I don't know what to do any more. Do ya'll have any ideas on how to help my MIL instead of my idea of knocking some sense into her? |
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While I CAN sympathize .... I just WISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH just ONE of my children's grandparents could even remember my childrens names or birthdays or anything. I can only DREAM of my children having grandparents who actually acted like grandparents. Out of everything I could wish for.. Having them have a grandparent that paid attention to them would be my top wish. Thank your lucky stars she doesn't ignore them;) By the way.. My kids are good kids.. It's the grandparents who don't know what they are missing:( |
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OH I so sorry. That must really suck for your kids. I hope one day you childern's grandparents come to ther senses. They are missing out on alot of fun. My mom is always saying grandkids are the best because grandparents get todo all the fun stuff. |
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Sounds like Grandma needs a boyfriend. Sorry - but I have no advise only to say that maybe in time she'll adjust better ? I thnk it's great she loves her grandaughter so much - but you're right - Your step-daughter needs her own space and many times - people like that can smother someone so much they end up resenting them |
It sounds like the grandmother is just wanting attention focused on herself. If she brings the subject up again, I would ignore it and change the subject. Her husband needs to do the same. As long as she's getting fuel to her fire, she probably won't stop. |
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Speaking as a mil and grandmother I do feel for your situation and think it is wonderful that you and your hubby want to be full time caretakers for your step daughter. I can't help wondering though how involved grandmother was in this child's care during the time before you and your husband married. If grandmother has spent several of this 5 yr old's life closely involved in her care, she probably feels very lost and unneeded at this time. I am surprised though that grandmother doesn't need a good rest. I have cared for two of my grandchildren, 2 & 5, while their parents worked. It was quite an adjustment for them this year when they began attending school and preschool. I still love them dearly and keep each of them separately at least one night a week. I am 57 and find I need these other days to recover. It is rough on an older person to care for toddlers several hours a day and if she did this, she probably did not have the energy to develop other areas of interest. I am sure, that in time, she will adjust and hope that this time of adjustment will not damage your relationship with her to the detriment of your family. Good luck and God bless. |
You could buy a pair of ear plugs - for yourself.:D |
How old is your step daughter? and like someone mentioned what was her involvement before you entered the picture? Did your step daughter live with her ? Does this child have a mother? Is the childs mom deceased ? If she was her primary caretaker then I can see why she is at a lost. I am 49 yrs, myself and your MIL is not much older than I.Thank God I have plenty of energy but I don't think I would want taking care of young children as a steady diet.. lol There is probably more to it. Apparently she is attached to this child. Like anything else time will heal, your step daughter should tell grandma if she is older that she would like to spend time with her dad and you. She should give grandma one day on the weekend and spend time with her. She shouldn't just abandon her. I hope this helps |
It's nice that she wants to be a good grandma, but she really does need to find interests of her own. She is still very young at 54. I hope she can find something she is interested in. She sounds like she is shy and has trouble making friends. You say she attends church - couldn't you talk to a coupe of the ladies and get them to invite her out for lunch or to some classes they are attending? |
I know, Buy her a Yorkie, that will keep her busy@:) |
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Then she could join Yorkie Talk and have all of us for friends! |
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