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Adult children in the household Opinions plez! My daughter moved back into our house almost 2 years ago with her 3 children. We built a basement apartment that cost about $9000. Our electric has gone sky high plus heating. She does not feel the need to help pay any additonal expenses which really irratates me. She receives child support and works. She has recently gotten a job in the eveings and now she has sitters here all the time and the sitters boyfriend. I have carts in and out of my driveway and not enough room and no peace and quiet. My husband has started working nights again and the kids are loud. I want here to move out!!!!! She is almost 26 yrs old and spends all her money out having fun while we pick up the additional expenses. I am afraid we have enabled her. Plus we had a repo man here 2 weeks ago because she is not making her van payments. I asked here today when she was moving out and told her I didn't want the additional winter expenses and all these babysitters etc here all the time. Any one else experiencing this or any opinions. I cant take it anymore |
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I would tell her she needs to pay an amount determined by you and your husband until she moves out. Then I would give her a timeframe for moving out. Maybe by the first of the year. Good luck! |
she's old enough to be more responsible put your foot down! i did move back in with my dad for a little after i turned 19 but i payed rent. nothing's free & nobody should take advantage like that jmho i know it's harder said than done but someone should be more responsible espically after they have a child. not meant to offend anyone. |
I couldn't do it, either. Not now. She's an adult and needs to accept the responsibilities of an adult. It's time for her to live on her own and it's time for you to have a peaceful life and do the things you want to do and not continue to shoulder responsibilites that are her own. |
Simply put: You live under my roof, you abide by my rules. You are part of this family, you do your share of chores. You have an income, you contribute to bills. You don't like it, you get your own roof, have your own rules and pay your own bills. I know it doesn't always work out that easy, but you and your husband have worked hard raising children so you can relax and enjoy yourselves after they leave. You deserve some peace and quiet. Good luck. |
I was always told you can't be walked on if you stand up! I would tell her it's time to leave and give a deadline. I would definitely put a stop to every yeahoo and their brother using the drive at all hours. |
Good luck Charge her so much rent she wants to move to a cheaper place.:) |
She has three kids, gets child support AND works...tell her to get her own place. Shes a big girl she can take it. Im a 34yo mom of three...my mom would die laughing if I asked to move back in. Really she needs to go. Dawn |
I would not be able to stand it either. I used to read Dear Abby, years ago. And two things always bothered me, adult children sponging off of their parents, and parents sponging off of their children. I made up my mind at that time that, should any of my kids need to move back home, I would give them a 6 week time frame to get back on their feet. That has always been my rule, and I have let them know when they move back that they have 6 weeks in which to move out or pay rent. Of course if they were ill or had an ill child, that would be different. But any healthy, able bodied adult should be paying their own way. so my advice, tell her she has 6 weeks to find her own place. |
give her a reality check. hang in there. |
When I finished college I moved back into my parents house. They had me pay cheaper rent so I could appreciate living there. At her age, with having 3 kids, working, and getting child support, she should be able to contribute. I would sit down with your husband and figure out how much you'd like from her, then sit down with her. Tell her she has 2 choices, to give you that amount or to find a place of her own. |
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You need to set your foot down and make it clear that you love her, but it's affecting your daily life. Good luck :) |
she is a grown women with children and should know better than taking advantage of her mother. i say you have a firm talk with her and let her know she needs to pay rent and help out if not she has to go. i know you might feel bad because one she being your daughter and two your grandkids but i think you have done enough by raising her. i hope everything turns out for the best. |
I would tell her rent in the amount of $___ is due the 1st of the month or she can find another place to live by then. And, if she can't keep the rent and van payments up to date, then she can't adequately care for her kids. Depending on how tough you really want to get here, I'd tell her she needs to get her act together, be a responsible adult & Parent - not a partying fool, or you'll request custody of the kids based on her leaving them all the time and not paying her bills. Good luck! |
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