Puppies!!
 

I have a 6 month old TEACUP Yorkie that I want to breed. She is very tiny -- about 2 lbs. I don't have a male stud but a few neighbors have some male dogs that they will let me use. One neigher has a Maltese mix, another has a Pug, another has a Pomeranian mix and the last one has a Rottweiler. I figure I will just lock them all in a room together for a few nights and hopefully one of them is bound to get her pregnant!!

I don't believe in de-worming or puppy shots but don't worry, they won't need them!! I plan on dosing them with Hartz flea and tick prevention … surely that is enough. I also feed my dogs only soft food … preferably Cesar's. It's super soft and easy for them to eat. And the good news is that by eating soft food their teeth will get lose and fall out! That way you'll never have to worry about the puppy biting you or chewing on your shoes and carpet! And as for docking tails and removing dew claws, I can save money on all that too and do it myself!! I have an old boxer cutter that would do the job perfectly!!

I will keep the puppies only until they are 6 weeks old. If I keep them any longer, I will have to raise my prices to pay for all of the wonderful and extra care that I will give them!!

When you receive the puppy, be sure to play with it ALL DAY LONG. Whoever said that puppies need to sleep a lot during the day was mistaken! Be sure to allow little kids to play with them … heck, even invite your neighbors kids over and let them all take turns playing with the puppy. And no need to wash or sanitize your hands first … puppies need to be exposed to LOTS of different germs and diseases so that they can build up an immunity to them. It's actually better for a puppy to get sick a lot while it's young so that it will be healthier when it's older.

Dogs love the outdoors so feel free to leave your puppy outside all day long. That is a good way to ensure it won't pee or poop in your house! And as for feeding, just throw some food outside for it once a day! And for water, just hose it down with the garden hose once or twice a week (that way you can give it a drink AND clean it at the very same time!! What a time saver!). And don't worry about drying the puppy because it will naturally dry itself off simply by rolling around in the sandy mud … think of it like a free exfoliator!! It will get rid of all the dead skin! And don't worry about the change of seasons … puppies love having fun in the sun in the summer and digging in the snow in the winter!

Now if the puppy pees or poops in the house, be sure to spank it VERY HARD but only after you have rubbed his/her face in the poop first!! And when you do spank the dog, a great tool for this is a rolled up newspaper or fly swatter. Don't be afraid to use some force … the puppies are strong and can handle it (after all, they will already be 6 weeks old!).

As for barking, this can be a problem. First try spanking the puppy every time it barks. If this does not work, take a metal pipe and ram it down the puppy's throat. That will solve the barking problem! Or if you want this surgery done in advance, just let me know and I will do it but I will have to charge you an extra fee of $200 for this service.

PS - I am a missionary and I will be doing overseas volunteer work in Nigeria around the time the pups will be ready to go to their new homes. Just send me the money via Western Union and I'll send you the puppy the next day!! Promise!

So look for my "For Sale' add, which will look something like this:

Litter of PUREBRED Yorkshire Terriers
Born 6/16/06
Dam: Weighs 2 lbs
Sire: Not sure who is the dad but could weigh anywhere from 10 lbs to 80 lbs
Puppy: Teacup -- since I have a whole litter full of teacups, I call them my "tea set"
Price: $3,000 for Males and $5,000 for Females (I charge more for girls because you can breed them too and make lots of money just like me!)
Registration: AKC
Shipping: Yes! Will ship anywhere … just send money ASAP via Western Union
Puppy Available At: 6 Weeks

I just want you all to know how much I love my puppies and promise to give them wonderful homes. Thank you and God bless. :)

Any takers on my puppies? :p

I'll take one girl and one boy so I can get POOPIES:p :p :p

LMAO...written with frustration and fun:):thumbup:

You know, this is so hilarious to me, bc I've thought for a LONG time about putting a joke like this on here. I've just never had the courage to do it! :p LMAO!

its funny but it isnt. some people out there this is not a JoKE its real, and that is soo wrong in so many different ways!!

JOKE? JOKE? Does that mean I can't get my 2:confused:


:animal36 :animal36 :animal36

As sad as it is, it is the truth for some heartless dog owners. Good posting! You should send it to the newspapers for a story. :thumbup:

Thanks everyone! I'm just so sick of puppy millers and back yard breeders! We all know they abuse their dogs/pups ... so why sugar coat it? Just come out in the open and be honest ... it's no big secret. People like that just make me SICK!! Especially those scammers!! :mad: :thumbdown

LOL!! :D

omg...i am so glad this is a joke. i was reading then looked at the authors post and saw how many and then thought.....this person knows better. thank goodness this was a joke. whew

Tea Set....cute!!

LOL! Maybe I should have put (JOKE) in the title ... sorry if I scared anyone. :)

didnt scare me jen , not one bit,, i know ya better girl... i just said to myself, what is she doing now???

LOLOL thanks babe. You know what a nut case I am over my dogs ... hubby always tells me that he thinks I love them more then him!! lolol poor guy :p