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What is your favorite dog joke? Here's mine: Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in oil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?" |
:eyetearss :rofl28ib: :sidesplt: too funny...i dont have any animal jokes |
Okay ladies, now this is only a JOKE but it needs to be said. :D I've seen enough 'man' jokes on here (loved them all btw, I am the first one to laugh at myself) that I think its about time we guys had one just for us~ My favorite is #2 btw Top ten reasons why a dog is better than a woman 10. A dog's parents will never visit you. 9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor. 8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink. 7. A dog never expects you to telephone. 6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday. 5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life. 4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog. 3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day. 2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you. 1. A dog does not shop. |
A man with a stuttering problem sees his old friend in the street and they begin talking. One says "So how's life? Are you married?, the other responds slowly while stuttering"I'm alright. Well I almost got married, but my fiance left me." "Oh no what happened" answered the old friend "well we were sitting together on the front porch with my dog Sparky and he began to scratch his back. I turned around and told my fiance, that when we get married, she can do what Sparky is doing all the time to me." "I don't see the problem with that" Says the old friend "well I speak so slow that by the time I finished saying it, Sparky was licking his balls" |
Lol The two old farmers were sitting on the porch rocking in their chairs. An old hound dog was sitting there with them, being lazy as well. The dog sits up and starts licking his balls. One of the old men looks at the other one, smiles and says "I wish I could do that"...the other old man says "That dog'll bite you!" |
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"Don't you think you should try to pet him and get to know him first?":D |
A Blind person walking down Yonge Street in Toronto, commanded his dog to turn right to what he thought was the subway entrance. He had miscalculated, and found himself completely disoriented in a dead-end alley. A passer-by saw his dilemma, and asked if he could help. "Yes, thank you" said the blind man, "I was trying to get to the subway." The man leaned over to the dog, and said slowly and distinctly into the dog's ear, "TAKE - HIM - TO - THE - SUBWAY!" |
Two women are walking their dogs-- a German Shepherd and a chihuahua. They decide they want to go into a restaurant for a bite to eat. "How can we go in with dogs?" the lady with the chihuahua asks. "Just follow my lead", says the other woman. Both put on their sunglasses and the woman with the Shepherd goes in first. The Maitre d' says "sorry, lady, but we don't allow pets inside." "This is not a pet," she replies, "It is a seeing eye dog--I am blind." "OK," he says. Her friend with the chihuahua follows her in. The Maitre d' says "Sorry lady, but we don't allow pets inside." Just as her friend replied, she says, "This is not a pet, it is a seeing eye dog. I am also blind." "Give me a break!" says the maitre d'. "Chihuahuas aren't seeing eye dogs!". . . The woman, thinking quickly responds "A Chihuahua!?! They gave me a Chihuahua???!!" :D |
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Can we read some more jokes??? |
These were funny --- I just read this thread.....I will have to go through my email forwards and see if there are any good dog jokes to share! |
those were all soo funny!!! good posting!! |
Hey Kirby's Dad...number 4 on yours isn't true. Our Poodle gets angry when we show another dog attention.....but the rest is a hoot!:D Teri:animal-pa |
:yelrotflm keep um' coming! |
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