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jbarile 05-07-2006 09:34 AM
Heartbreaking Reason
 
I posted this in the thread called " i quit smoking" but I thought it may be passed and I felt this needed to have a space all it's own..

well I just found a reason to quit smoking forever.........
Last night I found out my closet friend had just been diagnoised with 4th stage lung cancer, Im so in shock right now, and IM not sure how to handle this! I had lost my husband to cancer ( rare testicular) and Im afraid of having to go through this again, and I know I am thinking in a selfish way and I really don't know what to say to her, I spoke with her last night and I was no use to her because all I could do was cry. I was no help or support for her when she needs it so bad. after speaking with her.. I lost all desire to run for my crutch that ciggy that I now see in a whole different light! that has now possiby taken my friend away. I quit smoking that instant! when the call ended with her, It was a somber feeling and I feel that no craving will control me now because If i light up It will always remind me of my best friend that was like a sister, sorry Im babbling, so please if you are trying to guit please dont wait to do until you hear a heatbreaking reason why you should!

teri88 05-07-2006 09:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbarile
I posted this in the thread called " i quit smoking" but I thought it may be passed and I felt this needed to have a space all it's own..

well I just found a reason to quit smoking forever.........
Last night I found out my closet friend had just been diagnoised with 4th stage lung cancer, Im so in shock right now, and IM not sure how to handle this! I had lost my husband to cancer ( rare testicular) and Im afraid of having to go through this again, and I know I am thinking in a selfish way and I really don't know what to say to her, I spoke with her last night and I was no use to her because all I could do was cry. I was no help or support for her when she needs it so bad. after speaking with her.. I lost all desire to run for my crutch that ciggy that I now see in a whole different light! that has now possiby taken my friend away. I quit smoking that instant! when the call ended with her, It was a somber feeling and I feel that no craving will control me now because If i light up It will always remind me of my best friend that was like a sister, sorry Im babbling, so please if you are trying to guit please dont wait to do until you hear a heatbreaking reason why you should!
I am so sorry to hear this. It is so hard to be strong for someone when you are suffering yourself. It's ok to cry with her, though. I hope that you will be able to stay close to her and go through this with her. I'll pray for you and your friend.

red98vett 05-07-2006 09:51 AM
OMG...I'm so sorry - :( :( :(

I agree with Teri.....just be the best friend you can be and stand by your friend....Crying is nothing to be ashamed of.....You've lost your husband and that has to be flooding you with even more emotions.....I am so so sorry.... What an awful thing to hear and my heart goes out to her and her family....and to YOU...

sending lots of hugs & prayers for your friend.

Jaspermom 05-07-2006 10:40 AM
Jo sweetheart I am so sorry!!
 
I know I would be a blubbering mess if I found out ANY of my friends had 4th stage cancer of any kind... DO NOT FEEL BAD about your overwhelming emotions right now.

When I had cancer, the things that meant so much to me were a simple phone call, greeting cards, someone stopping by and bringing a cassarole, a smile, a touch, a new CD, magazines, a new book, and most of all, just someone to listen. I babbled, I cried, I just went on and on, and all I needed was someone to sit there and go "uh huh", "Uh huh", every now and then.

You can be the friend indeed to your friend in need. Just be there.

Hugs to you, sweetheart, and have courage. Your friend is going to need to borrow some of yours.

Let me know if there is anything I can do. You have my email still, right? If not, PM me and I will throw it to you. I am here for you, honey.:p

:ghug:

puppylove123 05-07-2006 11:10 AM
omg, im so sorry:( go ahead and cry with her, she needs a friend now during this hard time. i applaud (sp) your bravery and courage for giving up smoking. sometimes we need wake up calls. again, so sorry for your friend, i'll be praying for her. we are all here for you!

i feel a group hug coming on! :ghug: :ghug: :ghug:

Patti 05-07-2006 12:20 PM
I am so sorry to hear that. Your friend needs you know even if it's to cry together. It must be terribly hard on you. I admire that you could give up smoking so quickly!!! We're here for you!

JeanieK 05-07-2006 12:27 PM
Sometimes when you cry, you are helping your friend to cry and that is what they need to do. Don't feel like you were no support for her. good friends, cry together.

deb4air 05-07-2006 12:27 PM
Teri , I am so proud of you ..for even if it takes this situation to realize how bad smoking is for everyone you have and I am so sorry for your fears right now , please stay brave and know you have our support here .I had a serious lung disease and I never smoked But know alot of friends who when they found out Quit I am doing much better these days I guess not smoking has worked in my favor I have been through the lung transplant program thats how bad it has been But good news is the last time i went I was told Iam doing so well I may never need a transplant ..yipeeeeeeeeee Ok back to you sister friend ..whenever darkness and fear try to shake you up try to stay in the moment if you can do this one thing youll be able to be there the way you desire for your friend and for yourself ,you'll give an amazing gift .Peace to you ..in lovenlight

yougetthesmiles 05-07-2006 02:39 PM
Thank you for posting this! I just copied and paste'd this to my mom! I have tried to get her to quit and she does not want to, she says she enjoys smoking, but she dont understand she is hurting everyone who loves her! her Children and Grandchildren need her and love her and want to see her grow old!

jbarile 05-07-2006 06:45 PM
Thank you for your kind words and support! Im kinda just floating in and out staying busy so I dont think about anything, doing ok on the non smoking just in a daze I think? but you all are great! I live alone (well I have my babies) and I have always found it quite comforting here it's a good feeling to know Im not completely alone :)


Thank you all for being available for when one of us needs another..

:ghug:

Lexi Rae 05-08-2006 09:31 AM
so so sorry to hear this news about your friend... i will be thinking and praying for her. god bless you for being such a great person..i am going
to try again tomorrow to quit...

Jaspermom 05-08-2006 09:37 AM
By the way, Jo!
 
CONGRATULATIONS ON QUITTING SMOKING!!

:clapsmile

No matter what the reason, this is a BIG DEAL, my friend!!:thumbup:


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