nightmare at a night club
 

this weekend, the weekend of hell...was with my bf at a club we all hang
out in and his x wife just happen to grab me while i was in the ladies room
and started talking bad about him. she told me her 12 yr old daugher also
named gina that she has mixed feelings about me. and was telling me that
my bf abused her and his family is no good and finally told me that his x
girlfriend still calls him and he hangs out with her... i was so upset.. my girlfriend tried to get me out of there, but i just stood there listening to her.
she ran and got my bf and he immediatley ran into the ladies room and dragged me out and the bouncers were all over the place... he screamed out to her while pulling me out.. she turned to him and just smiled at him thinking that she had just broke us up.... i was crying, i was so upset, didnt know what to think.... he had called her on the cell phone when we left and told
her to leave us alone and that he loves me very much..he also yelled at me cause i just stood there and listened... i was a lady about it and would never
fight over a man.. i told her, if you still want him, take him... she hates him, he hates her , but im in the middle , im not the cause of their divorce, he has been with other girls before me and they has lashed back at his x.. i would not do it, i wasnt ready yet... i must say, im very happy with him, he is a great guy and i know he loves me, its only been 3 1/2 months..
what do i do the next time she approaches me and talks down to my b/f to me? should i just walk away? I dont want his daugher to hate me, i think she does like me..

I'd walk away. She has no business talking to you that way nor anyone else for that matter. She's an Ex for a reason. Could it possibly be because she's a Biotch? Could likely be from how she was bad talking him. and Maybe she was simply trying to give you a forewarning about him and he was afraid of what she knew and what she could reveal. What does your gut say about what she said and how he reacted? But for her to say that about her daughter hating you I'd take that up with the daughter and not the mom. Hearsay is just that hearsay it's not fact till you hear it from the horses mouth. Has he ever laid a rough hand on you? Yelled at you and made you feel unappreciated, degraded you in any way? How does his family feel towards you? I'd take all these things into consideration and if you you can answer negatively towards any of the questions I'd think twice about dating him. (sorry learned from experience)

Is this the same guy that you were trying to dump? Or is this another guy? or am i just confused!! :rolleyes: :D :D

Oh Gina, I think she's a NUT! She must be very unhappy Sounds to me she's going to go after anyone who dates him. I bet she's telling everyone she hates him, but really is not over him yet. Mix that with drinking, and well, from what I hear some people who drink have no idea what they said to people when they were drinking. :eek: In her eyes if she puts him down enough, no one will want him. I would just walk away from her. I'm sure she has nothing to say you want to hear anyway. Hope you have a better weekend next weekend! Hang in there!
:2hearts2:

yes this was the same guy i was trying to dump a little while back cause
i wasnt sure if i likeed him .. well guess what, im now i love with him.
i cant believe it.. im so so happy its just no real to me.. his family just
adores me to death. they are wonderful people...my parents really like him too. he has all the potential to be the one for me.. his x is older than him.
she 50 and he is 42 and im 43 so the age might be making her jealous..i really dont know what her problem is...i will not let her stand in my way of our
happiness anymore

Could it be that maybe she is jealous that he is dating someone beautiful, smart and younger and she isn't???
My advice, don't let her see you cry, don't let her see you squirm, that's what she wants...just hold your head high and walk away and if you feel the need to say something then choose your words, a good line... "For Gina's sake I think we should at least try to get along", if he is "the one" then you will be their child's step-mom and you will have to deal with this woman for the rest of your life. Take the high road and be nice no matter what. It will pay off BIG!!!
Good luck to you.. I am so glad that you and your BF are happy!!!!!

thank you for that, you made me feel good...

Your welcome!!! Glad I could help!!!
Us girls from the "I've dated the worst men in the world" club gotta stick together!!!!
I am really rooting for you!!! Glad you found your "prince"!!!

Thats great GIna. I am soo happy for you. :D :D His X is just jealous.. i would just ignore her and her words.

How long have they been ex's ? She definately has feeling otherwise you wouldn't care who or what he was with or doing? Ya know. When you're done and have no feelings you could care less. Either way.. when there is HATE, and revenge, there are feelings.

they were married for 13 years. the last 5 were terrible. she called the cops on him one day and he never went back. he lived with his mom for a year
and just got into his own apt in october of 2005. his divorce was final in
december...the family tells me she was a fatal attraction...and she is very
crazy...im not the first of his girlfriends after his divorce..he was with someone for 3 months and another for 9 months.. he said he feels closer to
me in 3 months then he had ever felt with any other girls he has been with..
i hope i dont get hurt again, it would just kill me... ive been through so so much..im suprised i havent had a breakdown yet

No Breakdowns for you!!!! You're too strong for that!!! :hug: :hug: :hug:

My daughter when she was a few years younger 17, put a sign on her door that stays up there. Don't cry because it's over Smile becaused it happened. I thought that was a good atttitude to take in life in general. So hopefully he will end up being the one.

Hey Gina...you poor girl! I'm so sorry you had a bad night at the club! Good for you that you didn't sock her one! I would say if it happens again, just turn around and walk away. She's obviously blaming you for something you didn't do and she can't stand to see her X with someone else! As far as his daughter, I'm sure her mother is bad mouthing you to her, but just treat her well and she'll come to like you! Best wishes!!!

VERY smart girl you have there!! Too bad more peoople can't learn this!
Suz

Very VEry VERy VERY touch subject/situation....Only time will tell you the truth. If it does work out and he tends to be great....you still get the ex and their child....package deal. I wish you much happiness.

As a person who has been mentally/physically abused I would definitely warn a new girlfriend if I had the chance. But I would also ask the girl if she wanted the warning as well. And trust me, I dated the man 7 years ago and I am happily married since then with a child. I am not a jealous person; I just would want any girl to know that the guy is mentally disturbed.
I would be worried since he did say that she called the cops on him and she says he's been abusive in the past. I would definitely ask around if he has a history of domestic abuse for your safety. I don't exactly know you very well, but if you have children yourself, it is very important to find out the man's history and if he a criminal one before you let him around the kids. His family will ALWAYS be on his side, so I do not feel that they are the right people to ask.
But you have to find out for yourself if you should take the advice from her or not. It is all in how she approached you. Did she come at you like she was seriously trying to help you? Or did she come at you like a jealous b*tch? I am also a little bit concerned about his reaction. Do you think he reacted that way because there are secrets he doesn't want you to know? But he could just be mad about his ex talking to you. I would definitely talk to him about his reaction, because from the way you spoke he did seem a little violent by storming into the bathroom and tearing you out instead of letting you handle it. Which you were doing just fine. Let him know that you are capable of making your own mind up and you all have to deal with each other civilly for his daughter's sake.
If you are serious about this guy, I would also recommend some outings with the two of you and his daughter so she can develop her own opinion about you. Also, let her mother know if you DO or DO NOT want her opinions about her ex. I am really glad that you have found someone that makes you happy. I also wanted to let you know that people do change, so if you find out something bad about your man, it's not the end of the world. Take care of yourself and good luck!

Oh Gina, that sucks!! I hope you're feeling better now that things have calmed down some.

The fact that you've met his parents and they are nice people is a good indication of how he is, Gina. My mom always told me to watch how a guy treats his mom and you'll have an idea of how he treats women in general. And how his dad treats his wife, too.

Sounds too me like a 'crazy ex thang'... you know, the drama, the jealousy, the 'if-I-can't-have-him-nobody-can' sorta stuff. After that many years together, I'm sure she knows just how to push his buttons! If you ever run into her again, tell her that you know that they didn't get along, that you realize there are two sides to every story, but that you really want to stay out of it. Don't let her have the power to ruin it for you.

Next time that she approches you, just tell her that she needs to keep her comments to herself. The past is the past. And you are both happy now. Some people just don't know how to let things go, and let others be happy. If you know he loves you, and you love her, than thats all that matters. I hope that she sees that her attempts have failed and lets it go.

:hearts-en Lexi some people are sick minded ..sounds to me like she might be ,girl ya gotta trust your gut with this one .You are smart ,loving and lovable don't let anyone take that from you , including yourself ..Much lovenlight to you both ..Sometimes love brings up everything unlike itself ..for you to choose >>>>>choose love and youll be fine <<< :hearts-xx

thankyou... you gals here make me feel so good.. appreciate it..
i know for sure that wasnt the end of it, there is more to come.

Well dear that is bad that happened and I am sorry for you! But I had a similar problem with a girl my husband had a one night stand with when he was 16! She got pregnant and was totally in love with him! She to this day 8yrs later is still in love with him! All she does is say how much she hates him and everything to me, but then turns around and tells him on the phone when they were talking about there daughter that she would leave her husband if he would just say he wanted her! So maybe in someway this girl thinks that she can break you up and they will get back together! She may say she hates him, but it could be a front! Just tell her that the past is the past and he loves you and you don't want to hear what she has to say and then walk away!