Just had to share some 9-1-1 Jokes with everyone
 

My sister sent me these Actual 9-1-1 calls. I almost cried laughing so hard lol

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone
doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?




Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!



And the winner is..........



Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of
breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No.

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police



DON'T LAUGH TOO HARD, THEY'RE OUT THERE!




Genie,Cookie & Lola

These are great. Some people.

some people.....

:eyetearss :eyetearss

wow, too funny

Omg those are so funny! Some people have no brains at all!

Thanks!
 

Thanks for those jokes. I'm on a rescue squad and drive the ambulance when these people call 911. I love it!! :thumbup:

You can not make this stuff up! I used to answer the phone in the doctors office and we would swear people were pulling a prank.

I used to work in a Doctor's office also. We used to get some really good ones and also some of the things the patients would say to us, for instance:

One of my favorites was when women would come in for their Pap smear and would have on panty hose. (this was when women actually wore pantyhose all the time)

I would say. "It's time for your pap smear. We need to have you undress and get you up in the stirrups" You wouldn't believe how many women would say. "DO I NEED TO TAKE MY PANTY HOSE OFF"? Some would even ask if they had to take their underpants off.

I always wanted to reply with, "no, we'll just take these sissors and cut a hole in the crotch." HERE"S YOUR SIGN!

LOLOLOL, that is too funny.

are you sure one of those isn't jessica simpson? ;)

haha! that's hysterical!!

Here's something....I slept over my friends house this weekend and in the morning for breakfast, her uncle (who is the Seargent (sp) in our town) came over. He was telling us how that morning he had just gotten on the road and some lady called hysterical saying that there were body parts in front of her house. They went flying over there. It turns out a cat or something had killed a squirrel or a rabbit and left the pieces laying around the yard. They told her it was just an animal and she was like, "but it looks like a human!!" :rolleyes:

Can we say, "Uhhh DUH!" :rolleyes: