Originally Posted by lksdolls Oh my gosh! Sounds like I have to give some senior "motherly" advice. Been there, done that! Your son sounds like a very responsible young man. One of the hardest things for a mother to do is let their son go. It seems to be more difficult to deal with for sons than daughters. Within a week of each other, our oldest son moved into his own place, out of state, after he graduated from college, our daughter announced she was pregnant with our first grandchild (which I wasn't really ready for) and our youngest was a senior in high school, football season, and everyone on the other teams was "after" him. I cried (privately) for months but never let our oldest son know how upsetting it was for me as we were always extremely close. I blew my daughter away with my response, "You've got to be shi....ting me." And dealing with our youngest was a major challenge. And to top everything off, I was going through menopause at the same time. I honestly don't know how I survived it. Our youngest son will be 32 this fall and he didn't grow up until he was 25, he was the little rebel, but that's another story, or maybe I should say book! Now that he has grown into adulthood, he's become one of the most ultra conservatives there is. Talk about a complete turnaround......... Anyway, what ever you do, don't try to keep him, don't threaten him or try to take away his possessions or you might loose him, especially if he has shown how responsible he can be. Calmly sit down with him and help figure out all the cost that is involved living on your own and be sure to include unexpected expenses. If he's out of high school but wants to go to college, let him know that you would prefer he wait a little while because college going to be different than high school and suggest that he get through 2 years of college first. If he insists on getting his own place before that, he is 18 and considered an adult, even if you don't think he's ready, but then, rarely can a mother admit that their baby has grown up. Make sure you let him know that you will support his decision, even if you don't agree with it and do what ever you can to help him, but not financially. Of course, you know you would do what ever it took should he need your help financially but don't let him know that. Giving him old furniture really isn't like giving him money. And most important, that your home is his home and he's welcome to come back to stay or just to visit anytime. As my kids were growing up, I made sure to teach them some important skills. Both our boys played football, baseball, and basketball from 7th grad on. The first thing I did was teach them how to use the washing machine and in high school, they learned what an iron is for and how to use it. They also learned some simple cooking skills, mostly stuff on the grill. I say simple because I admit I'm not exactly the world's greatest cook. My kids ate a lot of "stuff" growing up. I feel for you. Even though my "kids" are grown and on their own, the oldest will be 39 in June........OH MY GOD!.........they will always be my babies and sometimes it's hard to remember that they ARE adults now. Good luck. Let me know how things are going. |